Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

A Talk To A Welcoming Church --


VickySGV

Recommended Posts

  • Admin

MCC is one of several churches that is very welcoming to Trans* people, This is a video of a talk given by a "41%er" in Toronto, Can. 41%er refers to those of us, myself included, who have seriously considered suicide and who have acted on it to some degree. The 41% refers to the number of people in a survey three years ago that asked how many TG people had contemplated suicide seriously, and the survey resulted in a book entitled Injustice At Every Turn. This woman and I found ourselves pulled back from our suicidal actions by a presence outside of ourselves who let us know "the time for death is not yet" and subsequently also "there is work to be done still".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgJ8-r5kBb8

Keep some Kleenex handy in the last 7 minutes of it.

Link to post
Guest Faith gibson

Thankyou Vicky, she is inspirational. I have never been able to find any comfort in any kind of religion. I think my struggle is not really shared by a higher power. It will work out or it won't.

Link to post
  • Admin

Faith -- I do attend a church, regularly, and am part of it but I am different in that I am looking for a oneness with creation as a totality, and a connection with life greater than just my own. We Trans* folk have battled with appearance being taken as of more importance than is a core of being that is not visible except in how we approach and live life, and when that core of creation is denied by others around us, life is terrible and we think of self destruction. We are actually more free than others but the freedom is in places that are unguided and thus somewhat scary, but still a source of our lives. We need to be our own guides, and also to trust ourselves as guides, or if looking to the broader spirit world, to be open and willing to follow good loving guides even though the way we need to go is like no other.

Link to post
Guest Faith gibson

Vicky,

If I understand you correctly, I believe I am trying to find a way to gulde myself. I am not part of an organized religion but I do seek the comfort of something I simply call my friend. Sometimes I feel a connection that is comforting and other times, just frustration. I am thankful for what comfort I get though.

I have talked to a number of people on this site over the last year or so. Before that, I waded through all my demons myself and I think overall, I did OK. I managed to not totally destroy myself. I have found ways to keep my marriage intact, though many are confused and saddened by how I do it, I have avoided causing self-harm through different means. For me, nusic has been like a drug. And I have been able to live with myself. I am alone. But, like I said, I have been able to live with myself. I think this is important. No matter my gender, I have been able to reach into a place that keeps me functioning. Maybe it is because of a connection with my friend. It is something way beyond my ability to understand. I suffer, and I cry, but I seek ways to survive.

Link to post

My experience with the "force" in the universe is that I found that I simply was tuned to the wrong frequency, rather that it wasn't there. Only through being around people that could help me dial to the correct frequency was I able to get in touch with something bigger than myself, upon which I can rely, and even draw strength when I need it. In an hour I will be on my way to a spiritual retreat to be with like minded people. MCC is hosting the event in a wooded retreat. My fear of being alone in my Transness did not happen because I overcame my fear and reached out to open minded people who accept each of us as uniquely loveable in the "creator's" eyes. We need not believe in a creator to be part of a larger reality comprised of fellow spiritual pilgrims on a journey through Life. There are many pitfalls and dark places on the journey that I would not want to travel by myself. I think we all know it can get scary out there... I respect that some prefer to go it alone, yet there are some who simply don't know that an alternative of spiritual community, exists. We all make our choices but it's good to know what's available to pick from on the Menu of Life, eh?

Best wishes on your journey

Michelle

Link to post
  • 6 months later...
Guest alissa16

All of the above in this threads are beautiful...The testimony compelling and found That I could relate to much

of her life's journey's and travails.

Perhaps I have been too harsh in my claims that christianity could no longer offer me anything.

Link to post
  • Who's Online   11 Members, 0 Anonymous, 86 Guests (See full list)

    • Audrey
    • KimmieElise
    • JustineM
    • HollyNoel
    • Vanessa Michelle
    • TTheta
    • Kacey Lee
    • Ellie Jean
    • Carolyn Marie
    • CBabe
    • Abi
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      72,945
    • Total Posts
      669,158
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      7,924
    • Most Online
      8,356

    IamstillLearning90
    Newest Member
    IamstillLearning90
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. JillPilled
      JillPilled
      (27 years old)
  • Posts

    • Vanessa Michelle
      Hey y'all, if it's ok to ask, I'd love to know how many of us our located in IL. Feel free to PM me if you don't want that info on this thread. While I know a few of you are, I personally find it comforting to know there are others in the state, even if not that close to me. Maybe I'm weird Lol. I am not sure if any of our posts can be read by people without signing up for an account, so if a Moderator could weigh in on that it would be helpful, as I wouldn't want any of us to post anything here that would help in outing us or putting us at risk. On that note, if you'd like to PM me for safety, your IL city then I will reply with mine as well. Mods, take this down if it's inappropriate to post here please. Thank you all ❤️
    • Vanessa Michelle
      Dang @Abi I'm sorry you had such an experience with your ex! It sounds like your commitment to her was great, as it should be, but she wasn't able or wiling to reciprocate. So sorry. You will see better days too girl, don't give up on that. Now may suck, but things won't always ❤️ On a lighter note, it's always great to see another one of us lives in Illinois. It feels good knowing I am not alone here every time I see the state flag under somebody's name. ❤️
    • Abi
      My ex called me an embarrassment to talk about at all. We never even talked about anything relating to coming out. I had worked two jobs and been doing all the housework for years while I helped her get two degrees. My efforts were all to her benefit and whenever I asked for anything at all..." It's not a good time, right now." I had taken years of that kind of stuff and worse before I decided there was no path for us to walk together any longer. I am forever heartbroken and jaded by my experience. I put up with waiting for it to be a good time to be happy and never getting that for so long that I feel like I'll never have anything to offer to a relationship again. I hope none of you with spouse's ever have to feel like I do about relationships. I encourage all attempts to make that work. My loneliness tears me apart daily and the few connections I have with people that care about me as much as I care about them are fading.    I hope you're able to see better days together. I wouldn't wish the feelings of self doubt or loneliness on anyone. I have no answer that will help. If anything, I would say don't let anyone beat you down for who you are. Sorry for ranting and being no help.
    • ElizabethStar
      Cat dealer? Intriguing, tell me more.😆   I was beginning think today wasn't going to end. I had to run and pick up a script for my wife. On the way home I stopped off to pick up some spanx. I thought I would give them a try to help conceal things and open up more clothing options for me. They do help quit a bit but I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thong thing. Exposed! That's how I feel wearing a thong. While I was shopping I knew what I was looking for but couldn't find 'em. Luckily there was actually someone working in that department so I asked her for help. I must look better than my mirror says I do. She didn't bat-an-eye, give a second look or anything. Just one of the girls. It felt so nice. The young guy at the resister on the other hand.... He didn't say anything or look at me weird either but did start turning a little red as he was trying to find the bar code to scan. Making things worse for him, that 2 pack of thong spanx was all I bought. I feel like I have a mini-mission now. Embarrass a cashier with my purchase.   When I got home there was more furniture, in boxes, wait to be assembled at the end of my driveway. When I was about halfway done with one piece another package showed up. It was the missing pieces for Our water filter. That causes a home depot run for some supplies to get it installed. I've concluded that if I'm out shopping at a boys-club place and a guy asks to help....take it. It makes guy feel special when you do.   I managed to get the filter installed and working. Wife cannot complain  the water stinks anymore. Then off to assemble flat packed furniture. I got two 5 drawer chest and a night sand. I have more to do on the flat pack Furniture but It's going to wait.   Have a good night everyone.                                                 
    • Vanessa Michelle
      @WillowWow, I am sorry you battle those feelings. That had got to be super difficult! As you know, God most certainly doe not want your wife to die, and that does not need to happen in order for you to fully live as your authentic self. God made you and her and you are both exactly what he wanted you to be. This situation doesn't change that. I am praying for you both through this, that he will take the pain and feeling that she is what's stopping you away and replace it with his amazing love and acceptance for her. Also, for you to experience his love like never before. I honor you for your bravery in posting those feelings and struggles here today. That must have taken a lot of strength and trust to do so. You are an amazing woman. Thank you for trusting us and allowing yourself to be so vulnerable. God bless you sister ❤️❤️❤️❤️
    • Red_Lauren.
      I have Irish blood, and a lot of it. As far as I know I'm of 100% European descent. My mom who the Irish comes from. Has or had kenny g type curls, and about the same color. I haven't seen her since 2014, so I'm not sure what her hair is like now.    My dad was mostly English, and Scottish. Dark brown thin wavy hair.    If I didn't look so munch like my old man. I would have thought that I swapped at the hospital. I have thin wavy/curly/straight auburn hair. In the summer it gets really curly. Like I can cut off 3 inches before summer, and not look like I need hair cut till November.    Once winter hits. My hair gos almost straight, and I have 6-8in more inches of growth, and will stay wavy/straight to June.    Not sure whats going to happen to it this summer, as this will be first summer on hormones, but I do know. I will get another relaxer like I did last summer. To help with the knots, and curls.
    • Vanessa Michelle
      @AudreyI'll take the 🤗  any day with our without the mask ❤️
    • Vanessa Michelle
      Holy wow I missed a lot by not logging in until now! 😲
    • Audrey
      Walked by the diner that inspired this song earlier today.     Love, ~Audrey.
    • JustineM
      I hope I can, I’ve been on some kind of stomach meds for darn near 20 years.    I suggested 2 that I found on Amazon to her, Transgender 101 by Nicholas Teich and Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Trans by Brynn Tannehill. 
    • Audrey
      Dear Willow, Mindy, and all... thank you for your compassion and inclusion. I am a Gen X'er myself. I constantly strive to understand the experiences of those both older and younger than me. My job challenges me to do this on a daily basis. I consider cross-generational understanding essential to my coming out and journey forward, because people like my parents and coworkers are will see me and the concept of being transgender and transitioning through a different generational lens.   So I needed to understand why what was shared today affected me so much. Had a good long cry if I'm being truthful...  I know this hiding place all too well. I lived in it for most of my life, really forever, until only recently. The idea that what I was feeling could be minimized into a disorder, a paraphilia, or a perversion even, meant that no one could ever know. Punishment did come, quite literally, when I came out of hiding and got caught. Survival meant repressing and denying this to anyone, including myself. This brings an intense pain I believe we all can relate to. As a result, the worst punishment was always in my head. The endless negative self-talk drove me to the darkest depths of depression and to the brink of suicide. Which brings me to...   I share your deep concern about your wife. This must undoubtedly be weighing heavily on both of your hearts and minds and causing so much anguish. That said, I think it's wonderful that you're so attuned to your wife's needs and adapt yourself to meet them when her need is greatest. I imagine she feels this from you. In a sense I think she is attuned to your own needs too, it's just that her way of expressing that via altruistic suicidal ideation and self-sacrifice is deeply troubling. I'm hopeful that you and she can have open conversations about those feelings, whether with a therapist as you hope, or with other supportive people in your lives, or just the two of you together. I can sense the strength of your love and marriage from your writing!   The other thing that this conversation brought up for me today was my deep-rooted fear that my partner could decide to end our relationship at any point. Whatever the expressed reason, I would assume it was because I'm transgender. I'm working hard to overcome this insecurity but it does overwhelm my emotions at times (like today).   These are pretty heavy thoughts and feelings for the coffee thread. Can I offer everyone a (masked) supportive group hug? 🤗   Love, ~Audrey.  
    • ElizabethStar
      Hey Jamie, I'm sorry to hear it's becoming a thing trying to find a place. Have you considered straight out asking your insurance provider? Maybe they can point you in the right direction.
    • Jocelyn
      Thank you Mindy, I agree that we need to stick together and support each other. We need to openly share our hardships so that maybe someone else will not feel so alone. thank you for your support. Unfortunately I have not come out to my fire fighting family and have had little contact due to COVID-19 happening shortly after I retired. working towards living life in the open. stay safe everyone hugs Jocelyn
    • Knoxd68
      Thanks so much for the supportive comments. It's great to know that I'm not alone! I would love to find women's clothes that come across as more masculine. Any tips? 
    • MisterJax
      Sweet! I didn't know there were so many of us.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...