Do I Have To Pick

[Guest Day / Ducky]

well i been thinking and talking and why does it seem that most ppl say you have to pick something one way or a other guy girl or both why cant i just say i am who i am and tbh i am not fully sure what that is so why do i have to pick and say i am MTF or bit of both or none. yes i feel more of a girl at times and a guy at times and am ok with my male body i dont hate it but i am like overjoyed to have a male body i am ok with it. I know soem ppl born males or FTM hav joy in a male body which i do not, as well as females have joy in thire female body if they are GG or MTF. me i am ok i dont hate it nor do i have joy in it. So why why do i have to pick and say to someone i am MTF or CD or whaterever why cant i just say i do not know and just leave it at that. But, no everyone feels that have to talk to me and see if they cant pick for me and say well your a CD who des not dress or a chould be a MTF who is ok with thire male body or a MTF who is srcaed of comeng out and faceing it. Why cant i just be unsure and be me as Unsure as for gender or sexualy goes it seems even with in the TG comminty ppl like to lable you and if they do not understand you they want to make you come to thire way of thinking. SO why even ask ppl what they are anywho i hate it when ppl ask me what i am. From now on i am not going to say anything, i feel that ppl should not ask and only say what they are if want to say what they are. Why cant i come just as i am and be ok with it? and me i do nto know what gedner i am and i am ok with my male body and tend to feel and act and think liek a female now and then as well as male i do not dress up as female nor do i have a uger to do so. something i dont feel like anything comes to gender as well as for sexauly. the thing is sexualy goes hand and hand with gender so one can not say it does not. Most of the world lable your sexualy by your gender some might do by your brith sex. so in the end why do i have to pick why cant i jsut be me and not sure abotu my gender and sexualy.

[Zufrieden]

Hi Day/Ducky:

"Do I have to pick?"

The short answer is that you don't have to pick.

There are at least three separate issues here.

The first is labels. On these forums and in the world in general there is a wide variety of people and there are a lot of people.

Labels give people a starting point of where to place you. Yes, it's inexact and it's unfair.

Still, if you can say that you're definitely a CD or definitely an MTF it helps people starting out.

If somebody asks you whether you're a student or a working person you could waffle around and refuse to tell them.

Maybe you go to school but work part time, but you could be a full time student or a full time worker, too.

If you can give people an idea who you are by borrowing a label that possibly doesn't fit you 100% it's sometimes helpful.

The second issue is attire and behaviour. Do what you want. Change your mode five times a day if you like.

You don't have to pick. Experimenting is allowed. Being unsure is not bad.

The third issue is permanent changes which include hormones (which are permanent), FFS and SRS. Here, being unsure is right out.

Anything you do here is not "picking" but making a life long, life-changing decision. Experimenting in any form is not allowed.

As the instigator of the MT? label on the forums, I take a paternalistic (maternalistic?) view of it. I meant the question mark

not as indicating any uncertainty with me, but rather that at the end of my journey I may be regarded by oher people as indefinite

in gender. At the very least, MT? and FT? indicate the direction of travel better than androgynous. Sometimes androgynous

is used to indicate variability in attire and behaviour.

I know for certain that I do not want to be a male, that HRT was and is the correct path for me, that I want a female body, that SRS is in the cards.

I lack the interest and aptitude to be a stylish "femme" female. I am not interested in any variability of presentation.

Exactly how I end up presenting myself at the end of my journey is not that important to me.

Labels bug me, too, but there's no getting around them. I just tell my friends I'm transsexual. On the forums MT? is a bit more precise.

As I said elsewhere, I may end up being labelled a lesbian, which sounds strange to my ears, but doesn't offend me.

And of course gender and sexuality are entirely separate. Unfortunately, stereotypes are deeply ingrained in the public.

Especially in America: Different=homosexual.

I don't think that anyone on these forums is trying to push you in any direction.

Maybe they're just asking you questions for which you've not yet come up with an answer.

Z.