"Why can't I just be gay?" say what?!

[Guest Raya]

So, starting to get a little push back from brothers. Not a huge deal, but it does cut a little and I need to vent!

My "best" brother just did not seem to be listening when I told him and explained basic timeline, hrt, etc. He sent me a lengthy email explaining how drastic a step this was, and asking why I need to do it. And then, his nice solution, why couldn't I just be gay!

I did respond with a civil email, emphasized a couple times "as discussed" and explained, again, that sexual orientation and gender are different, and said that "why can't I just be gay" is just...wrong. He knows I lived in an abusive homosexual relationship when I was 14.

The gay vs. tg thing was also an issue with another bro, who suggested a take a long retreat away from here, and "not be sharing my thoughts with many people"

End of rant, it actually has been pretty good finally talking with family, dad was the best, and i got a big hug from his girlfriend!

[Guest Rei]

i'm sorry your brothers weren't more supportive. hopefully they'll come around given time. i'm glad that at least your dad and his gf were there for you though.

[Charlize]

Sorry Tracy but i had to laugh when i first saw your post. Life would certainly be simpler and there would be more understanding. They will come around. Let it go and be yourself. My brother was strange but with a bit of time he and i have our best relationship ever. He loves having a little sister and actually sends me articles he reads as he figures these things out.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Raya]

Thanks for the responses, it really helps to talk to people who get it.

Rei, I was so glad my dad didnt freak-he is 85, and while he is is great shape, I didn't want to shock him. I knew he would remember my "issues" from childhood, tho. (Kinda hard to forget that middle of the night call from the police "come get your kid, we picked him up joyriding in your car wearing pantyhose...")

cool name, mine is Ray, and I'm thinking about keeping it all the way thru.

Charlize, I heard early on that humor was going to be important, glad to make you laugh. I'm an electrician, so you can call me sparkle! Hmmm, new company name, sparkle electric...

I am so glad you are here.

[Guest LizMarie]

Show them this image. Make sure they read the annotations. This is why you are not gay. It's biological. There are nearly a dozen different areas of the brain that are like this. Gay males are much more like heterosexual males (except even "more male" in some regards) but trans women are much more like natal heterosexual females. We basically have very female brains. And that is why you are not a gay guy.

[Guest Raya]

Why thank you for that, LizMarie.

I wasn't able to follow your link "and the data proves it" before, I use a big phone and not a computer.

[VickySGV]

Tracy -- I have gotten that line about the gay from several of my relatives. My oldest daughter (who is 41) still tells me she could take it better if I was that way. I made the mistake of telling my youngest brother how great I felt on hormones, and his response was "why didn't you just stop there with them, if you felt that good with them why did you need the rest of it"??? Any more "face palm" moments that way, and I will NEED FFS for other than the usual reasons.

[Guest Rei]

Rei, I was so glad my dad didnt freak-he is 85, and while he is is great shape, I didn't want to shock him. I knew he would remember my "issues" from childhood, tho. (Kinda hard to forget that middle of the night call from the police "come get your kid, we picked him up joyriding in your car wearing pantyhose...")

cool name, mine is Ray, and I'm thinking about keeping it all the way thru.

haha that would certainly stick in one's memory. i can understand not wanting to shock parents, that's partly one reason why i don't intend to come out to mine (my dad is elderly and my mum has heart issues) about my real sexuality and gender identity (they still think i'm a straight female). the main reason is because of a language barrier, which sounds weird, but they don't speak english and although i can speak basic chinese at a conversational level, i can't speak it anywhere near well enough to get them to understand. i'm ok with it though. they just need to know that i'm content as i am.

thanks, rei is just part of the online username i've used for nearly a decade and it's become part of my identity so much that it would feel weird not to use it

[Guest Raya]

Lol Vicky!

Don't do it, no percussive maintenence to the face!

[Guest]

I'm so sorry, Tracy.

-Fiona

[Guest Raya]

Thanks Fiona! I think the reality is sinking in to the people I told, and while I am overjoyed to be going forward after so long, they are new to it and some are shocked.

Tonite was cool, just had dinner with my dad and his girlfriend and was able to talk pretty much openly.

And I found some more tg folk to talk to, they volunteered at church, and we're gonna get together.

So, I'm still pretty happy about coming out so far.

[Charlize]

Tracy i'm sure your mood will swing from time to time. Mine is finally beginning to settle as life absorbs a rather major change. Hopefully peace will come quickly to both you and your loved ones. Just being honest about ourselves is such a big step forward.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

Thanks Fiona! I think the reality is sinking in to the people I told, and while I am overjoyed to be going forward after so long, they are new to it and some are shocked.

Tonite was cool, just had dinner with my dad and his girlfriend and was able to talk pretty much openly.

And I found some more tg folk to talk to, they volunteered at church, and we're gonna get together.

So, I'm still pretty happy about coming out so far.

I'm glad to hear that you're simply shaking it off and moving on.

-Fiona

[VickySGV]

[Guest Raya]

Thanks again, ladies.

And I get out again tonite, a social with a local tg group, trying to work on my social skills, cause dang, women are socialize rs and I've much to learn.