Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Melatonin & Cigarettes


Zoe of Tamriel

Recommended Posts

Been smoking for years and have been taking three or four melatonins a night just so I can pass out (and even more as my tolerance builds).

The taste of a cigarette disgusts me. The hard hit I loved so long ago now makes me sick and causes me great discomfort. The smell it leaves on my body is making my anxiety worse. The tobacco I inhale the fumes of makes my youthful vibrance in the face deteriorate. The energy I once had is gone -- all because I can't seem to shake this plant. I've tried so many times before in the past to quit and the longest I went was two weeks. Because of that two weeks, I told myself that I can do it again and again and again, as long as it takes. Every time I try to quit, it's pushed out of my mind for a while until I smell it coming from someone else, at which point I'm belittled to a wildebeast and become an animal -- I "need" a drag. Just one. Please, I beg of you. I wake up in the middle of the night only to smoke. I "need" it.

No. What I need to do is stop smoking. I never started because I thought it was cool; I started because everyone around me seemed to have some sort of escape from life and I was hanging onto my last thread with my former depression and a cigarette was only a simple theft away when my Mom was in the bathroom. The only surefire way to stop completely is to put them down, in my experience. That's easier said than done. When I'm in the process of quitting, something creeps into my mind that says, "oh, come on. You can have one. It's only one, you'll be fine." But what my brain doesn't seem to realize at that point is that it's just a cigarette, but it'll soon be only ten, which will soon be only a pack, which will soon be a carton, then I'm right back to square one again. Right now I'm back down to two cigarettes left, and I have school starting soon. I need to stop, completely, for good. I need support, because it's obvious that I can't do it on my own and my family is of no help to me with this ("you made your bed, lie in it" sort of stuff).

Now onto another issue I have -- melatonin. I've always had trouble sleeping; often I find myself lying in bed for hours on end before I finally manage to pass out and when I do, I have to wake up two hours later for work. This has led me to start taking melatonin before bed. I only began with two a night, which led to three, four, five, six, seven, ten, twenty...now I'm dependent on it. I can't sleep at all without my melatonin. If I wake up in the middle of the night, it's not a problem, I'll just take a couple more pills.

I need all the help I can get and I'm asking the people here to help me. Please, I really need to help myself.

Link to comment
Guest AllisonRae

Hi Sarah, Well I know we have it in us to quit. I never thought I could. I was a moderate to light smoker for 24 years. I have been tobacco and nicotine free now for over 8 months. I had support from many including friends on this site. I was fearing that I would go to my grave a smoker. This was something I did not want. I had tried quitting for years, had tried the gum but nothing ever worked until I found something that was more important to me than my nicotine addiction. That was finding out who I really was. I quit cold turkey and have never looked back. Was it easy, no. I also started dieting and walking/running at the same time. Today I find myself 50 plus pounds lighter, a non smoker and off of blood pressure meds. I feel better in so many ways now. I also understand the acronym NOPE, not one puff ever. I am still a nicotine addict. I can never touch tobacco again. Plus now I have dangers to my health since I am on HRT. Pardon my rambling but what I am trying to say is that a day will come where you realize that there is something more important than your nicotine addiction. And you will quit. Also being nicotine free will help you sleep better. Hope this helps

Hugs

Allison

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

If i can quit anybody can. i was a two pack a day guy. I worked heavy construction and then residential construction with a butt always hanging from my mouth. Last act at night and first one in the morning was a cig. I'm still an addict. I know that "i need a drag" feeling. Problem is one will lead to a carton or more likely a truckload. I now suffer from severe coronary artery disease, have had open heart surgery as well as many other procedures where they go in side of my chest to "fix" things. I have smoking to thank for that.

I only mention my problems to show that it is possible to quit. I like that acronym....NOPE. I tried gum, patches, hypnosis and had a staple in my ear.

What finally worked was what i learned in AA as i battled addiction to alcohol. I could do it if i didn't have one. Not one sip. There was pain at first but it got better. It has been years since my last drink and years since that last cig. The craving is no longer painful or constant. I'm just careful because i know it is so easy to slip and think i can have one now.

You can do it. Posting here can help. It is always easier with the support of others who know what you are suffering with.

Lots of hugs and a still pretty strong shoulder,

Charlize

Link to comment

Sarah, you can do it, you can get over the smoking and sleeping issues.

I do not have experience with the sleep issue, but the smoking- I was at 3 packs of cigs a day, stopped for a while, then "tried" cigars. Right back to smoking all.day.long. So done with it now, 4 months plus.

So, we know it's tough, and we know you can do it. You will find a way to rest too.

Link to comment
  • Admin

I have no advice to give, only encouragement that it can be done. I did not smoke, but did abuse prescription drugs as well as drink. I have 6 years and 10 months free from the booze and pills. The others have not said this yet, but if you can seek out an Addiction Medicine care team near you, and they may be able to help with the down side of quitting so that you are not driven over the edge by anxiety. We will do what we can here for you.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Thank you all for the replies. I've decided to start quitting today after this last cigarette I have. Here's to good luck.

Also, since school started, I've found it's easier to clear my head. Sleeping still takes a while for me but it's better than laying there for five or six hours.

Link to comment

I like my nicotine. On December 7, 2013 I went to a meet that a local group of vapers were having. They also had a raffle and lots of people won some cool vape gear and/ or juice. I won some juice and bought a used ProTank2 and a battery for it. I was vaping for my nicotine from then on. I've been cig free for well over a year now and my health is much better as a result.

A funny story about this. When I went to see my primary care Dr, I asked him if I could vape in his office. He said to me, "Please do. I want you to try and convert some of my other patients that still smoke. Vaping is a much healthier alternative." So now I vape for my nicotine right in his office each month when I go for my visit. I've talked to a few people about it and hopefully I've helped get at least one person off the stinky cigs.

Link to comment

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's still increasingly difficult as time goes on, and I may end up just getting a vape pen so I'm not wired most of the time. Since quitting I've been horribly uptight, lol.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Me too Raya the gum worked, and I never even finished the first box of it, because I was so sick and tired of it, being addicted like that. I was mentally DONE and wanted the shackles off.

Link to comment
Guest clearleeraines

I cheated, I was locked up for 8 months I did a min prison term. You can't get on HRT if you smoke. I just never went back to anything drinking drugs and cigg's. My health has improved so much, I cleared a hep c infection without any treatment, I had hep for over six years my dr said he's never seen anyone clear after having it that long.

There is NO consequence from quitting smoking NONE! there can however be some pretty bad one's for smoking. I cheated, I don't think i could have done it otherwise. Needing HRT really motivated to stay stopped. I have heard That HRT can really stop the URGE too ? anyone?

GOOD LUCK! Clear

Link to comment

I switched to Vape as well. It is Sooo much better than cigs! you can do it in the Car. In Bed. In the Bath. and it doesn't stink.

Plus there is a huge variety of flavors and Nicotine levels. I might do a high Nicotine level juice in the morning to get going.

And then mid day I might vape zero nicotine juice. If I start to get nicotine withdrawals, I add a little more nicotine.

It goes well with a drink like a cigarette too.

I don't miss cigs one bit ! funny thing is I don't even feel like I need to try and quit vaping. I really don't feel the need to vape High nicotine much and I feel so much better.

im sure doing nothing is best for your health, but Vaping is a heck of a lot better. It doesn't have to be just the small pens. There is a whole Vape World out there!

Cigarette makers should be VERY Afraid ! Its not like the Vape is " kind of ok" .This is the first thing I have ever found that kicks the cigs donkey.

Do yourself a favor and look into Vaping. My vape costs about $100 and that is about what a good one costs. You can find others cheaper but I already went that route and found the more expensive one to be awesome. I haven't Found that the price of the vape juice made any difference in the quality but some do.

Plus it can be a fashion statement! Mine is Pink and I just Love it.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I was fortunate to be able to drop all use of nicotine. I wouldn't want to go back and have found i no longer have that need that once drove and owned me. It was beautiful when we were unable to get around to know that food and water was all i needed to feel well. Addiction is always with me but fortunately i have today sober and smoke free. I'm glad i quit before vaping came along or i might have fallen into that one as well.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest Nicodeme

Seconding (fifthing?) switching to ecigs if you're really dependant on the nicotine, which it sounds like you are. I quit smoking almost exactly a year ago because I was losing lung capacity; I didn't really want to give up the nicotine, and I enjoyed the ritual, so I picked up an ecig instead. (Don't bother with the ones from gas stations. They're nasty and only last about half a pack's worth--making them TWICE as expensive as actual cigarettes)

You can get a decent (though not exactly *great*) set for $20-30. Ego batteries cost $7-20 depending on where you look, and an okay atomizer is about the same. (The REALLY good atomizers are about $30) If you want something that behaves like a normal cigarette there are also 510-style batteries and atomizers. Before you switch, though, find out if you're allergic to propylene glycol. It's in the vast majority of juices.

Link to comment

I'm looking into the e-cigs now. Tried them with my uncle a few weeks ago and I didn't have any reactions to a few different juices, and I tried a few different ones with other family members.

Thank you all for the information!

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Keep in mind that the two problems may well go hand in hand. Nicotine is a stimulant. Try not ingesting anything with nicotine or caffeine after a designated hour, then work that back gradually to earlier in the day to see if it helps with the sleep.

Unless you're ADHD, it should help.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 117 Guests (See full list)

    • Petra Jane
    • Karen Carey
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...