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The Marcie Chronicles


MarcieMarie12

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I think next time it will be a drop the skirt to the knees to avoid issues. It was a below the knee skirt that was loose fitting and I didn't want to remove the belt holding it. BTW-when does using the ladies room make more sense? When I am dressed, I think I've been passing pretty well, but worry about getting clocked if use the women's room (either because I loose my confidence or have some other tell).

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Marcie, the key to not getting hassled in the restroom is simply to act like you belong there, the same as all the other women. If you act nervous, start looking around, or stare at someone standing in line, you have a much greater chance of calling attention to yourself. If you catch someone looking at you, ignore them. Believe me, hon, women in the restroom aren't on the prowl for transwomen to bully. They're there to do their business and leave, just like you.

Be sure to act appropriately. Use a seat cover, try not to loudly pass gas, and don't drop your skirt to the floor. Don't be afraid to converse if you're standing in line. Women sometimes do that. We're part of the women's club!

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Guest Jamie61

Hi Marcie,

I've enjoyed reading your posts. I still get a little nervous if there is a line for the restroom. I feel allot of it comes down to things that don't change, hands and feet as well as one that hard to change... voice. I've started just using more of my regular voice, avoiding any deepness and choosing my words and phrases. That seems to have open up my ability to chat more naturally. It's nice to continue to pass after talking with someone! Still though lines for the ladies room are something I try to avoid.

I am also very tired of back and forth, it's getting blurry... This is good motivation to keep moving forward. Sounds like your doing very well and your experiences are exciting to read because it's so reminiscent and how I still feel about being me.

Be safe!

Jamie

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  • Forum Moderator

This subject is obviously hard for many. Confidence and experience works here as in all situations. In time with repeated calls of nature it will become natural. By the way i hike up my skirt and in the winter often wear one that almost touches the ground. It's just a matter of bundling everything up and pulling it around front a bit. I double check to make sure i'm clear and sit.

Speaking of long skirts when squatting in a field is necessary they provide a built in rest room if spread out a bit with an eye to ground slope.

I can only imagine the giggles of my grandchildren about this subject.

Hugs,

Charlize

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Well, went out for time number 8 to a local support group of ladies that I've joined. Was actually my first time there as me. The exciting part is most people did not recognize me right away! We went out to eat afterwards, and had a good time. Then on Sunday went out again to meet some other ladies for lunch. I had something important to tell them--basically I am getting divorced, and I am moving out...I've been on a roller coaster ride ever since.

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Guest Jamie61

Hey Marcie, Sorry to read about this, but perhaps it is what is best. I went through a divorce a few years ago and it still bothers me. I will be thinking about you and hoping for peace in your life.

Jamie

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  • Forum Moderator

Parting is usually sad even when for the best. I hope things go well for you Marcie :)

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Yeah, but I am going to have to tell the parents and brothers about their sister....I want to get it over with so I know where they stand. The anxiety over their response is worse than the actual consequences...I am in 40's and financially independent (even after the divorce).

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Obviously I don't know your situation but with me, even though I am probably similarly financially independant, I would feel that there is far more to lose than the money!

That said - I think taking things carefully and making steps to avoid any standoffs will help. My own experiences tell me that people do not readily understand and tend to be very confused and mixed in their reactions. It is perhaps easy to get to a position to know where they stand if you put them against you but with care, acceptance is often realisable. Changes in relationships, or understanding of such though, seems to take time.

My advice is try not to rush and think things through

Tracy

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I''ve been thinking about how to handle it for months. I think I am ready, and actually spoke to my GT about it. Had a nice outing yesterday, took the day off from work to get a make-up lesson. It was fun, I learned alot, and well trust me the eye-make up was gourgeous (transition lenses kind of make it hard to see).

http://forum.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?app=galleryℑ=12445

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Oh and the highlight of the day, other than getting some make-up skills for life was that I was able to interact with people, kept my voice consistent (after the lessson) and got mam'd (more times than I care to count) and called lady by a grandfather when I helped him and his wife get a picture with their two grandkids in front of that same christmas tree in my gallery. Yes I wore my sunday best, I wanted to be fabulous.

I did think I got Sir'd once, but it was an actual guy behind me. :lol:

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Well I got out for time number 10 to go to a different support group. I enjoyed meeting some fresh faces, but got lost on my way to the post metting dinner. Had my dress on wrong too (soon to be ex-wife point that out ( I thought the zipper was on the side not the back on the pencil skirt). :poster_oops:

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Well I got out for time number 10 to go to a different support group. I enjoyed meeting some fresh faces, but got lost on my way to the post metting dinner. Had my dress on wrong too (soon to be ex-wife point that out ( I thought the zipper was on the side not the back on the pencil skirt). :poster_oops:

Your pictures look great! I've had the skirt boo boos too. Sometimes seams and zippers travel around if I scooch around too much.

It's a wonderful feeling when a sister sees a problem and adjusts things for me that I can't readily see, especially coming out of the ladies room.

Guys would never help each other like that, they take pictures and laugh, humiliating each other. Sisterhood is wonderful!

You have also reminded me to get my pencil skirt out of storage. Hug. JodyAnn

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Guest Kayla Grace

I'm a bit late, but the forums haven't been working for me lately and I've been neck high in work.

Transitioning alone definitely has its benefits. It'll be an emotional roller coaster, not to mention the physical changes will be difficult if not overwhelming for the SO

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  • Forum Moderator

Well I got out for time number 10 to go to a different support group. I enjoyed meeting some fresh faces, but got lost on my way to the post metting dinner. Had my dress on wrong too (soon to be ex-wife point that out ( I thought the zipper was on the side not the back on the pencil skirt). :poster_oops:

Just for info to all - I think it is universal here so probably over the pond too but it is easy to determine positioning of a skirt / dress etc. The makers label is at the inside top to the back as you are wearing and the laundry / fabric information label is toward the bottom on the inside, to your left hand side as you are wearing. If either of these labels is missing it is still usually straightforward to determine orientation.

I find it very useful for plain skirts as I just look straight down to see the label on the left as I am pulling it on.

Tracy

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Well yesterday was the first time out post seperation---outing #11. I left and got out too see the GT. Then went to wall mart. I was having trouble as a pair of panties was supposed to be 1/2 off and didn't ring up prperly. So I did what any lady would do, called the clerk over to get some help! They did not even notice something amiss either with my voice or appearance. Yeah me! But still getting mam's is like a victory.

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It's recognition. Of who we are. The woman that we knew we were. And now others are seeing us, in the same way we see ourselves. And you are right, it feels so good.

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Outing # 12 came and went (Basically a shopping trip to target). Lots of returned smiles and a couple of interactions--but nothing new to note. I try to keep my head up and shoulders back and a smile on my face (not hard, I am happy getting out as me). This leads me to making eye contact with other women--men oddly enough avoid eye contact for the most part. More than a few smiled back--I'm guessing that is a good sign I am passing. But other than that nothing really new.

Outing #13: Some really supportive friends of 20+ years invited me to their new house. The wife was happy there was another girl in the gaming group. Anyway, we went to dinner and the waitress asked for what we would like to drink and I waited for second then realized, hey I am one of the girls so I can speak up and order first. :) After that, I played a game with the husband (I may still be a girl, but I am still a gamer). I love to paint my miniatures, and name them and imagine them having all sorts of personalities. Guess part of me is still a kid. The husband sir'd me out habit and I corrected him, but I didn't correct every time--just the one time. We both acknowledged it would be an adjustment for everyone-and my thought was that correcting them on occasion would be a better approach, let them know that when they slip I notice, if I did it every time I think it would become awkward for all. They are supportive and trying, and that means a lot to me. They both got hugs in the end. I'm tearing up (in a good way) writing this....

Also, the wife said if I wanted to go shopping with her that she'd love to do that.

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Sounds like you are adjusting well.

I saw the part about the old habits others have.

I think you handled it perfectly. I also have some folks that cant quite get the hang of it and that is how i too handle it.

I have one co-worker that took more than 8 months to "form new habits.

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My fourteenth outing was great except for the end. Went out shopping, then went to my parents dressed. As I was mam'd so many times I lost count and talked to about a dozen people (no strange looks either). It was awesome. I then went to my parents house and that did not go over well. Too soon to show up dressed I guess. My mom's comments were particularly hurtful. I wonder if the support from them is conditional.

My 15th outing was to a toys for tots event. It was fun to get out and I got to introduce myself as Marcie to lots of new people.

BTW---My face gets oily after about 8 hours and the make-up gets a sheen on it. Forunately stubble isn't the issue. Just that my face feels like a giant oil slick. It looks ok otherwise.I am using an oil mattifier to reduce the oil. Is this typical? How long does your make-up last (assuming no yardwork or heavy lifting)

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  • Forum Moderator

It might have some bearing Marcie but I have realised that the old saying with women that they are going to powder their noses when wanting to discuss things in private has meaning! I have noticed that the first part of my face which starts to get shiny during the day is my nose. I don't usually bother but on occasions do retire to the women's room to powder my nose. There may well be a lot of truth in the saying :D

Tracy

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My 16th outing was significant in that I went for a consult with the electroligist, with no make-up (BTW-Laser first then electrolysis). I braved a grocerie store too without make-up. I was more than a bit self concious. I was clean shaven though.

My 17th outing was in the evening--I got to wear my christmas present to myself. No that link is to the dress. I love it and it fits me very well. (http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/1f30/). Too busy talking to others at a pot luck to take pictures. I brought some cornbread muffins. PM me if you want the recipe..they arre really good and easy to make.

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  • Posts

    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
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    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
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    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
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