Now that I'm out

[CrystalMatthews0426]

My wife finally knows, so now I finally get to start thinking about hair removal.  I found a groupon for a local laser hair removal clinic, $100 for 3 sessions. Going to make an appointment to go and get my beard zapped. I'm so sick of shaving every day, especially since I can never get a 100% smooth shave.

I did a small shopping yesterday, got an inexpensive buzzer, a pack of disposable razors and a bottle of Nair for men. Buzzer and razors are more for around the sensitize areas, going to do a test area of Nair, and assuming it works without any problems, my wife has agreed to help apply it to my back. If I do have a problem with it, then she will shave me.  I'm so excited to start getting rid of all of this crap on my body and start being able to feel good when I dress up.

Also, not hair related, but I made an appointment with a dermatologist. I have really bad psoriasis on my ankles and shins, and while it's always bothered me, I could never find an OTC product to help it, so I just settled on always wearing jeans, even in the summer. I'm not a outdoorsy type, so never really needed to expose my legs in public. Hopefully we can find a treatment that will finally rid me of this problem.

[Briana]

Nair!  That stuff is the devil and it sets me on fire!  I guess I have sensitive skin but when I tried on my legs, I sat in the shower for 1/2 hour trying to get the burn to go away.  Never again...it's not for me. Definitely test it on a small area where you tend to use it first. 

For psoriasis definitely give the dermatologist a try.  In general, most OTC products don't work.  For some, OTC remedies may help to slightly reduce the skin symptoms of flareups but in general, they aren't effective at treating the underlying triggers/causes.  There are also many more things that go along with psoriasis that need to be checked and monitored.  Be sure to let the dermatologist know all the medications you are on including supplements.  Some of those can be triggers leading to flareups. 

[CrystalMatthews0426]

I remember using Nair once before, when I was first dressing about 15 years ago. I don't recall having a problem on my body; however I had tried the Nair for men that they came out with for facial hair and holy moly, that was bad. I noticed that the product no longer exists, for good reason I'm sure.  I'll start on a small patch of chest hair to test, and work from there.

I've used so many products for the psoriasis, some did nothing at all, the most recent worked pretty well. Twice a day I scrubbed the area with a pumice stone to clear off the scaliness before applying the cream. It took care of maybe 75% of the problem, but never fully cleared the area. I gave up on it after a while, more out of laziness.

[TexasLibraryLady]

Since you're already investing in laser, if you are a good candidate (dark hair, fair skin) I would suggest splurging for a full body package sooner rather than later. Shop around because price and quality are important, but not always connected. Mine is great and cheap.

[CrystalMatthews0426]

I'll definitely look into that... figured for now I would use the groupon to check this place out, if I'm happy with them, I can figure out the rest.

[Aanzinaago'Stephanie]

I agree with the laser hair removal. I bought a package of 8 sessions (it's costly where I live, and though this isn't the cheapest, it's fair priced and quite honestly, had the best reputation when I checked comments related to people's experiences). It's a big difference from before and now.

I am now contemplating doing other parts than my face. But, all I can say is totally worth it.

For me, I reacted badly with nair (but it's competition one, I can't remember the name, worked -- unfortunately, the growth comes back to fast; hence, I went to waxing).

[Cindy Truheart]

If you aren't on HRT, consider holding off on hair removal. T in the body turns on the hair growth so follicles that aren't growing (dark thick) hair right now are more likely to start growing them while still on T. I've held back because I wanted to be sure my hair growth was under control first, then I will go for professional hair removal. Until then, I have an at home laser system that seems to slow things down at the least!

Just my $0.02!

[CrystalMatthews0426]

I considered the at home laser, their just so damn expensive.  My biggest issue is that I cant get a clean shave, at all. There's always hairs just under my nose and under my chin towards my neck that just refuse to be taken by razor. I've tried so many different products and different methods of shaving and I feel like it's the biggest thing that will keep me from passing.

[Cindy Truheart]

1 hour ago, CrystalMatthews0426 said:

I considered the at home laser, their just so damn expensive.  My biggest issue is that I cant get a clean shave, at all. There's always hairs just under my nose and under my chin towards my neck that just refuse to be taken by razor. I've tried so many different products and different methods of shaving and I feel like it's the biggest thing that will keep me from passing.

Ah! The almost universal trans-woman problem! For me, simple foundation is all that I need to cover. If it's particularly dark/thick you would need a beard blocker. When it comes to getting rid of it permanently, the at home system works but you have to use it more often than the instructions tell you and it takes longer. It was a good option for me because my hair isn't that thick and I was able to use it without outing myself by going to a professional in this tiny little southern town! But you've got to shave to get the laser treatment to work. If it's only rough to the touch that is good enough, both to pass and to get laser. You don't need a smooth shave to have the beard blocker work!

And, I will probably be going to a professional for hair removal eventually! I'm just going to get what I can at home while I still have to hide!

[Aanzinaago'Stephanie]

I still highly recommend doing hair laser removal, if it's within your budget. I had very dark hair and coarse before treatment. It's nice to wake up and have smooth skin! I am not finished all my sessions, (so I still need to shave certain areas; but all I use is concealer makeup/foundation as my base now).

I also empathize with you regarding shadow and feeling it's too obvious. I can spend up to 3 hours getting ready (I'm high maintenance! :p), depending on how fussy I am being. One thing my therapist helped me with is to identify that I am staring very closely to my face (when applying makeup) and therefore, easier to see what I think are obvious signs. In the end, it's more of a fear for me: I am scared the shadow will give it away and then get myself into a malicious environment (because someone will notice and start something).

I am slowly letting go of this perception. I did try the at-home ones, and for me, it didn't give me the same satisfaction as the professional. But, again, would totally recommend it.

[CrystalMatthews0426]

That makes sense and I did get some makeup supplies including beard cover from a website, but haven't tried it out yet. Hopefully soon.

Thankfully being in NY, I have many more locations that I can reach without necessarily being recognized. Ironically I'm going to end up at a place that's 5 minutes from home. Lol.

[Aanzinaago'Stephanie]

DermaBlend concealer can work. You can usually find these at pharmacies. I use Lise Waiter concealer and after trial and error, found a good mix of concealers that work best for me without feeling like I have a lot of makeup on. That said, DermaBlend and Lise Waiter are a bit more pricy than some of the other options.

I have tried the orange/red lipstick trick (didn't work for me) and then went into cheaper concealers (mainly oranges, pinks/greens, and peaches) and they didn't stand up to Lise Waiter makeup ... for me anyway. We all develop styles and methods that best suit our own ways.

I find, even if I am presenting myself as a guy, makeup places won't even bat an eyelash when you explain it's makeup for you. It's how I started. I asked the makeup specialist to hook me up with some starter options so I can experiment and she was happy to help me and give me tips. For a bit, I would go back there and explain to her my difficulties, including covering shadow. There are a lot of tricks out there on the Internet and personal experiences, but I would sincerely recommend that you do trial and error and see what works with you without judging your skill and experience. That judging mind can wreck havoc on your confidence!

I hope you manage to find what's right for you, if not, patience is key -- you'll find it.

Love, Stephanie

[TexasLibraryLady]

I had a very dark beard and after 1 laser treatment I was able to make it from morning to bed without feeling the need for touch ups, After 2 or 3 I realized that I shaved but forgot to put makeup on before running out of the house. Now I've had a few emergencies where I had to run out without shaving and still was comfortable with a very basic cover.

[CrystalMatthews0426]

Great information, thank you again everyone.  I'm actually fighting for a refund on the groupon that I got for laser treatment, as I haven't heard back from these people after 2 weeks and about 5 messages. Not sure if they are ignoring all customers who have the groupon, $100 for about $500 in treatment loses them a lot of money I suppose; or if they are ignoring me because I said in my original message that I was trans and looking for hair removal on my beard.

I got some makeup supplies from a crossdresser specific website, so hopefully it works well and isn't just taking advantage of us being desperate for a simple solution. I also heard that Sephora is very trans friendly and offers free beauty classes prior to open on some days, I might look into doing that at some time.

[Jani]

I've never used Groupon, but I have friends who have and it appears to me that the vast majority of them are "lost leaders" to get you in to buy more products at full price, and the vendor quickly realize the Groupon price is losing them money and they are reluctant to book appointments.   

Good luck. 

Jani

[CrystalMatthews0426]

I've used groupon plenty of times over the years and have never had a problem before. I even booked my honeymoon via groupon a few years ago and had the time of my life. I'm leaning more towards this being a response to my telling them that I am trans in my message. Sadly, this was my second choice for a laser consultation, there was another that I found via a different web forum that is very trans friendly, however they charge $200 a session for a beard and I can't afford that right now.

[Aanzinaago'Stephanie]

4 hours ago, CrystalMatthews0426 said:

I also heard that Sephora is very trans friendly and offers free beauty classes prior to open on some days, I might look into doing that at some time.

This is based on my personal experience: I haven't been to one makeup store where they weren't friendly to help (didn't matter if I presented myself as a guy or as girl). Just don't be shy to ask what they would recommend to help. Plus, hiding shadow isn't just for trans. Makeup marketing is pushing a bit of the boundaries in showing that it really doesn't matter who puts on makeup: as per Cover Girl male model (saw him on Ellen's show). And really, I've also met guys who wear light foundation and a bit of concealer to get away from shaving every day (and they do not consider themselves trans).

On the other point, of it being possibly because you said you are trans. Remember very kindly to yourself that we will never know what they are thinking. I find it very easy to give in to my anxieties (because they are real fears), but I try to ground myself and tell myself it's impossible for me to know what others are thinking when they don't return my calls (for me, the hardest it seems to get an appointment is for voice training -- I might just have to buy a do-it-at-home dvd set).

 

As Texas Library Lady said, it does do wonders after a few sessions. Like I said, I've done 4 so far and my 5th one is coming up at the end of this month. It's 6 minutes of OUCHIES (emphasize the ouch like by a lot) but totally worth it. From what I read and was told, it takes about 6 goes as a minimum (always exceptions to this) to reach a near permanency. I just don't put a timeline for it, I just go and do it and wait till I see I don't even need to shave. Luckily, in my case, I can take a bit more of the pain, so the setting is a bit higher and I see major changes.

 

 

[CrystalMatthews0426]

So, not sure what to do about the groupon situation. Groupon won't give a refund because it's more then 3 days after I purchased. They offered to give me an exchange, so they will put $100 into my account to spend on another groupon, but I have to use it in 24 hours or it will revert back to the original value for the laser hair removal.  Essentially, it doesn't matter that the vendor isn't going to allow me to use the groupon, I should have known they were going to rip me off much sooner then I did. The problem is, there's nothing else with such a high value that interests me right now.  I guess I could see if any of the other laser hair removal places on groupon have a similar value and are within a reasonable distance from me.

[CrystalMatthews0426]

Curious question on the pain factor of laser removal for any tattooed ladies here, how is the pain level in comparison to getting ink? I have a few tattoos, and my pain tolerance is pretty high. Just curious if it's a similar type of pain.

[MarcieMarie12]

According to my friend, electrolysis is worse than a tattoo. Not laser, but for me laser hurt more than electrolysis, it just was much shorter in duration.

[CrystalMatthews0426]

Good to know... Thanks Marcie

[TexasLibraryLady]

I have 4 small tattoo and one 6 hour piece. I've done several facial laser treatments and 2 full body(go again this weekend) Laser isn't as bad as a tattoo. My face and neck sessions (most places consider them separate) last 10 minutes. The upper lip is going to hurt the most because it is usually thickest, but it is literally over in a minute. tip: make sure to ask them to do the nostrils.

[CrystalMatthews0426]

Good to know, thanks a lot.

[Aanzinaago'Stephanie]

For me, tattooing was a breeze (I can read a book while getting a tattoo). The laser treatment was more painful than getting a tattoo. 3 of my sessions were tolerable pain, 1 was a toughie. I would rate the laser higher, but it's not very long (as I mentioned, 6 minutes for the face -- approximately) and it doesn't hurt after (might feel a bit hot for a few hours and you might get a big of puffiness, especially the upper lip).

I haven't done electrolysis, so I can't give any information about it.

I often just tell myself, 6 minutes girl, it's only 6 minutes. And before you know it, it's done. And the woman who does it, she's super great: gives me a bit of a rest, but not enough to discourage me from her finishing. I will say, the pain lessens as you do it (my last session, the sides of my face wasn't very painful, but the goatee area still was, especially upper lip). But I will still repeat that it's totally worth it!

Maybe to ease a bit of worries: they do a test spot, and see how you react (least that's what they did with me). And during the first session, if the pain is too much, they should lower the setting a bit (but that means more sessions and/or less of a result per session).

The nice part about doing laser removal, for me, it's waxing: it feels like no pain -- in direct comparison to the laser. XD (Still hurts, but nothing like laser.)

[Guest JaneShannon]

I have been to Sephora for a make up session.  They are very trans-friendly.  It was a great experience I really felt like "just another woman" in the shop--which was exactly what I was hoping for.