Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I took a chance


Guest AshleighP

Recommended Posts

Guest AshleighP

This may not seem like a big deal to some, but to me it kinda was. Wednesday is the day of the week that my wife leaves early to meet with a friend. She leaves at 5:30 and I don't leave for the gym until around 8. That leaves me a few hours of uninterrupted Ashleigh time, which I savor. My usual routine includes getting up as soon as she leaves to take a shower and get dressed. I get to take my time, put on perfume and makeup along with my outfit for the morning. She knows I dress, she just doesn't approve or want to ever see who I consider the real me.

Next, I head outside to get the newspaper. It's usually still a bit dark so there is little danger of being spotted in my crowded middle class neighborhood. I guess I haven't been paying much attention to the fact that it is getting lighter much earlier. Today is a clear blue morning with fairly bright skies, hence it was not at all dark. What to Do? I hate to miss my foray out into the world, as limited as it is. So I suck up my courage and head out the front door. I walk casually looking about and see that the next door neighbors garage door is open, the lights are on, and the kids are heading to the bus stop. My heart skipped a beat! But I finished my paper retrieval and walked calmly back inside. I'm not sure if anyone spotted me, but I truly feel that it would be ok if they had.

Anyway, back in the house with my lipstick marked coffee cup and my paper.  Enjoy your day y'all!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Getting to the point where shame and guilt no longer held me back was so liberating.  It came in small steps.

Enjoy!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I've found it also gets easier. I remember recently talking with my neighbor when he asked a question about my boots. I thought a moment about how safe he was to tell, then rather matter of factly told him I was transgender and we talked about that for a little. It's amazing how far those little steps take us over time.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?????

Link to comment

Awh, that brings back lots of emotions and memories from my own past.  I remember going for a drive while dressed and the freedom I felt along with the fear that someone might recognize me going down the highway.  Also, I remember the time I took pictures of myself on 35mm film and worried myself sick that the developers would make and distribute reprints of me.  That seems like a different lifetime now.

However fast or slow you progress or if you progress at all is up to you.  You'll do what you need to do when you need to do it and it's a beautiful journey when you go at your own pace.  My only wish for you (and for all) is that the shame and guilt not haunt you but is instead replaced by love and appreciation for who you really are.

Link to comment
Guest AshleighP

I have been out dressed numerous times. Been out to dinner and drinks with friends, not a care in the wold. I guess the anxiety came this morning because it was "where I live". Just kinda caught me off guard. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I remember in earlier days going out half dressed in the car and changing some miles from home. I found it an absolute nightmare as it was tricky changing. Things are so much better now. It just takes building up confidence. There is maybe the odd smile from neighbours but, luckily, no real issues. Steady progress is what I found best. Before you know it you can wear anything reasonable and people will just accept it as you.

Tracy

Link to comment

Hi everyone. Reading the posts in this article rings so many bells for me. It was like I had written everyone's thoughts. Tracy your post is me looking in your mirror. Also Ashleigh I totally agree with Tracy. Confidence is so important to each of us. Take your time follow your heart and always enjoy each day and who you are. Hugs to you and everyone. Amber 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 137 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • SamC
    • Ivy
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,944
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      I grew up with it, my mother's side were Germans.  I still like cabbage.  I make a sweet/sour dish with vinegar and brown sugar, add some bacon if you have it.  And in warmer weather, slaw.  I like that better if it's a few days old, and has worked off a little.
    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...