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By VickySGV · Posted
One of us on the Admin staff will have to do that for you, the mods cannot, and even then one of the Admins will try to talk you out of just pulling up tent stakes and leaving. You have less than 100 posts here and have been with us for less than two months. I on the other hand have nearly 16,650 posts +/- and have been here for nearly 10 years. Several of the longer term folks and I have met IRL over the years and it is wonderful to do so but I do greatly value the ones I know on-line here as well and know I will never meet them in person. It takes time and patience for Trans people to get to know one another but both are going to be fruitful. Trans lives are full of anxiety and it is hard to break out of our personal shells and offer friendship. In being Trans before we realized it, many of us did not develop skills at creating friendship. Some are truly awkward as they get used to their True Selves, but it wears off. The weak and uncertain are terrible when they attempt to appear strong and that is what happens often in the Trans community. You appear to be stronger and more certain of yourself which is wonderful but others here are not there yet. Some of us, like myself as an Admin are too busy to just strike up an individual conversation with every one of our several thousand members, but I do answer PM's and am happy to talk with anyone who sends me a message, but I also have a bunch of stuff hidden back in the ancient history of the Forums here too. Leave, and while you can still see the stuff, you would miss the chance to add helpful information to places that need it, which opens us up to seeing you more clearly and which will show your friendship for others to seek in the days ahead. If you really want to leave PM @MaryEllen, @Carolyn Marieor @Petra Jane because I will not do it just off hand because I think we have more to offer you yet and you have more to give. . -
By Willow · Posted
Hi Jamie. Nice to see you here. it’s been a quiet day. My wife and I had a nice talk this morning. Little by little we are working things out. It’s been just over a week out of six to recover and I’m already anxious to get back on my feet. I’ve got a lot I need to be doing and wasting all this time sitting around is difficult to accept. -
By Jackie C. · Posted
Wait, what? Alright though, if you really feel that way, ask one of the admins or devs. They'll take care of it for you. Hugs! -
By Jandi · Posted
Same. My experience with them has been good so far. I’m out anyway. -
By CBabe · Posted
We transgender people treat one another like garbage. I've contributed quite a bit here already during my short time, with a total of 3 trans women interacting with me out of dozens. We don't support one another much, that's why we can't make friends. I'll be deleting my account here as soon as I find out how. I don't need the same kind of attitude here that I get in real life. -
By Jamie68 · Posted
I never was into cutting myself, but I did stuff larger and larger objects deep as possible up my butt. If it didn't hurt, it wasn't big or deep enough. I did testicle stirring with syringe needles to try to kill those horrible things between my legs. I had even plans of castrating myself, either by burdizzo or surgery. Came real close to doing it several times. Now that I have come out to my wife and started transitioning, I rarely get the urge to do these things. When I do, I think about the fact that I might need that stuff for vaginalplasty. That helps. There may just be a light at the end of this tunnel. I've never mentioned this to anyone. This life seems so difficult. It shouldn't be that way. My wife doesn't understand dysphoria. She just keeps telling me, "Why can't you just be a woman to yourself and not let anyone else know". Hell, I barely understand it myself, but I have it. Always there to torture me. Jamie -
By Lee H · Posted
Hi Tomi I'm in the VA Health Care system, and for three months, I've been in MtF transition. The VA is seriously committed to helping people like me, with HRT, a Gender Therapist, an online Trans group, and other occasional needs. I really appreciate it all; however, they "chart" everything into my medical file, which is available to every medical professional in the VA across the country and I suppose in military hospitals world-wide. Without the VA, I couldn't afford it, sooo, "Screw it," I said. I just stopped worrying about it. They're supposed to maintain confidentiality, but if they don't, t'hell with it. I don't know these people, they're not my judge or family members, and, it's none of their business anyway, unless they're treating me. You are violating no policy with HRT [if your employer has such a policy, it's not legal -- see recent discussion under "Thank you, Joe], but they would be in violation of HIPAA. I figured they've got a lot more to loose. Let me add my welcome ~~Big hug, from Lee~~ -
By magical realism · Posted
Ive gone most of my life now with no friends of any kind due to health issues. I recently met a couple people online on an app. But never managed to see them again,and i felt i made such an embarressment of myself on it I had to just delete it. Most of my life ive hardly even met people my own generation let alone people i can relate to. All that is slowly beginning to change but it takes time,especially with covid now. I guess this is just me saying youre not alone in the boat. -
By Jamie68 · Posted
I lived in Tacoma Washington between 1975 and 1985. Beautiful country. Had to get used to working in the rain. Was vegetarian for all that time out there. Like you I ate eggs and dairy. Felt great. Health food stores and vegetarian restaurants were plentiful. Moved to north end of Chicago for 6 months after that. Plenty of health food stores there also. then to Central Illinois in the middle of farm country. Health food stores scarce here. Ended up becoming a meat eater again. It's ok though. Learned some healthy eating habits in Tacoma, Like eating the peels with potatoes, and making a salad with everything but the kitchen sink in it, and baking instead of frying. My family thought I was nuts, but I'm healthier than them. Now days, grocery stores are carrying better food. I do like a good cup of coffee. I have a grind and brew machine. I like 8 o'clock brand with cold stone creamer. Have a great day all. Jamie -
By Rami · Posted
For me friends have always been few and far between, trans or non trans. This partially attributed to my having trust issues and partially because of my nature as a being. -
By Denisenj · Posted
I hope you're right Audrey I hope it does get easier but as they say Life goes On -
By Audrey · Posted
Thanks again everyone for sharing all your mascara advice! I ordered the eyelash curler and magnifying mirror, so I look forward to getting them soon and experimenting with renewed enthusiasm. One of my girlfriends warned me last night that mascara can actually damage your lashes with long-term regular use. Can anyone comment on that? I'm using natural cosmetics just in case this is a thing and hoping it's better for my skin/body. Love, ~Audrey. -
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By Audrey · Posted
@Denisenj I relate to your struggle to meet others in the transgender community. The people I see regularly are all cisgender, and they're great people I love very much, but I also felt I needed friends who could relate to what I was going through on a more personal level. One of the main reasons I joined the forums here was to start building those kinds of friendships, and I'm so glad I did. The online space isn't the same as in-person of course, and yes the pandemic has made doing anything in-person so much more difficult anyway. But I feel much more connected now than I did before joining the forums. I do think that trust is important as you describe, and I know I feel very vulnerable and exposed in unfamiliar circles but building trust and achieving emotional closeness comes with time. Support groups are also a great idea as others have suggested. One of the few positive effects of the pandemic is that many organizations have stepped up their virtual offerings, so things exist now that may never have existed a year ago that you can connect to no matter where you are. Hope these thoughts help! Love, ~Audrey. -
By VickySGV · Posted
I have seen many of those sites, and they are not helping themselves. By insisting on certain standards of "beauty" they paste a target on their backs, and then isolate to keep from being shot down. It is the isolation that will keep them from becoming authentic members of their broader communities of Trans and Cis IRL. It is those actions that give credence to the cis population idea that we are playing dress-up as opposed to real identities. I have some "Glam" pictures of myself, and they are the ones that broadcast me as Trans and not day to day female (or NB in some cases). The Glam shots were taken at Trans conferences where I was in a group of a few hundred Trans individuals of CD up to post surgical people. I like to see them every now and then, but it is not my daily wear which for now is plain cotton underpants, sweat slacks and my supply of T-shirts from various events I attended in the past. No one looks twice at me, and no misreading of who I am. If they wonder, it is not about my making a mistake in my wardrobe or combed, but not styled hair and thus they can go ahead and wonder if they have nothing better to do with their time. It is not my business or doing. Just my acquired wisdom is that you are more perfect if you are imperfect, if the shoes are flats, and the hair is a little mussed, or if you do not have eyelashes or eyebrows done perfectly then you are the most comfortable, least worried, and probably much happier.
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