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Recently my step mother mentioned to me that, while they were at a party, she met an interesting lady. 


The way she said "interesting" told me enough honestly. However she proceeded to tell me how my younger sister asked her to her face if she's a boy or girl, which the lady, simply going by T for now, simply laughed off as childish innocence, how she spoke about her upcoming operation and her families acceptance. She also spoke about her appearancw, saying that one would never guess etc. 


Eventually she got to her point in this, which was to ask me if I would like to get her number and talk to her a bit. 


Now I get where this is coming from, I mean I haven't been to a support group yet, but I suppose it would be nice to meet someone in a similar boat but what difference would it make? Would I just probe her for answers and hope it applies to me? Would I have anytging to ask or talk about even? As far as I am concerned she's just another woman going about doing her thing. Would she tell me anything that one of the caring individuals here haven't yet said in one post or another? 


And yet instead of just dropping it, the thought has been struck in my head. 


Is there a difference, in your opinion, in talking to someone face to face, via instant messaging or over a forum? Would it be strange to simply want to talk to someone because of their gender identity? 

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  • Admin

There is something to be said for knowing local folks who have something in common with us.  Wanting to meet this lady because of her gender identity wouldn't be strange, provided you could find other things in common with her upon which to base a friendship.  Forcing a relationship based on gender identity alone isn't a good idea, but an initial meeting for that reason sounds perfectly acceptable to me.

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I don't know about friendship, it's more the thought of just talking about it with someone that understands to some degree and is already more along the way, but in person or locally rather than over a forum or blog etc. Which is why I ask, it doesn't seem like it would bring anything to the table that this site would not be able to. It would feel like I'm making a spectacle of her and a testicle of myself. Maybe I'm just over thinking it a bit. Guess I could get her number and just talk a little if she would be willing. 

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Step one is your stepmother getting her number. I would let stepmom know to be up front about the reason for asking--so that this woman can decide for herself if she's comfortable with meeting with you. If she is, then I say go for it.

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Katelyn,

As humans, we are social creatures. We need contact with others, especially with people with similarities to us. Even loners have a need for this. You might try giving her a call, and to break the ice, ask her about local support groups. This might strike up a conversation. You never know, it could lead to a friendship with someone who can give you the kind of personal support only such a friend could give. She might become a mentor. At the very least, you might learn about the support groups in your area. That's just my thoughts.


Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

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  • 7 months later...

If You Can Get Help (Family Or Friends)...Go For It...Put Your Bra On and Be Proud Of Your Self !

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