Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Any Engineers Here?


tesla1026

Recommended Posts

Hi all, 

I'm an electrical engineer and was wondering if there are anymore engineers or tech people on here. I'm trying to figure out how things would be if I came out to my coworkers (I'm non binary) and was also wondering what kind of atmosphere other trans engineers work in. 

Link to comment

I'm labeled a software "engineer", although I find that a bit insulting to actual engineers that have professional standards and things. ?

I worked for HP for about 17 years and that was a pretty good environment for these sorts of things. I knew quite a few people that were lesbians or gay, and I knew two people that transitioned on the job without any significant issues that I'm aware of.

My current workplace is a small startup. There are typically fewer than 20 people in the office. I've come out to my management team and explained that I will be transitioning at some point. They were great about it although they were interested in any resources I could help them with to make sure to handle the management side of things appropriately. Luckily our regional LGBT Center is across the street, so I think that should be pretty easy to sort. I've told a few co-workers and they had no problem with it. There are a few others that will be more challenging, but I am hoping for professionalism at the least if not acceptance.

All of that being said, my situation is tempered a bit by being in California which has good non-discrimination laws and in a company who's HR policies are also very supportive. It's also a slightly more mature group than at a traditional startup so we don't really have a big "bro" culture, but rather more of a family feel. And of course, I haven't come into the office "en femme" yet, so even those that know haven't REALLY had to deal with it. 

I hope that helps, but if you think of something else that you're curious about I'm happy to answer. It's a hard process to think through and figure out the right timing and right approach. 

Hugs,
Julie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Since you present as trans masculine already I would use your current status as a gauge on how it would be accepted if you "announced" that you are non-binary.  Understand that many people have a hard time wrapping their heads around that as opposed to MtF or FtM.  I'm not an engineer but I was a manager at a large defense based corporation.  I found most engineers and senior staff to be open and accepting to LGBT employees.  (I did not come out until I retired.)  I worked in the Northeast but I traveled regularly to our other facilities across the country and saw no difference in attitudes.

 

Jani 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I am principly an electronic/software engineer and worked in healthcare. I found people there to be totally accepting, but that would generally be accepted as the norm, at least here. In my view, where you work and who with has far more bearing on things. In the general sense, over here I have found professionals like engineers to be far more open and accepting than lesser skilled people. That said, while at work I was visiting people from all groups, with few issues.  I would say though, that, although I am really non-binary as well, people automatically made the presumption of MTF. In my experience few people would readily cope with non-binary. It is something that I have not found an answer to yet. Society is two state and, interestingly, it takes someone with the mindset of an engineer (in my view) to analyse and comprehend. Going back to who you work with, I presume they are not all engineers? It is really everyone, not just your immediate colleagues.

 

Tracy

Link to comment

Thank you all or the replies! 

 

I get the general feeling that most of the engineers and tech centered people I've come across follow about how ya'll are describing. I work in a larger southern city at a small start up and every coworker here is some sort of engineer or scientist. We don't have an HR department, though, so that's the draw back haha. Unfortunately we do projects for customers all over and that sends me out in the middle of nowhere sometimes. One of the places I did a project at was on the national news for this hardware store putting a "no gays allowed" sign on the door. So, that's the other stuff I could deal with. I'm the head electrical engineer so I'm thinking maybe I can use that authority as a shield when I go to customer sites. I'm the only electrical engineer, but they don't have to know that haha. 

We're about to expand, we've got some jobs coming up that we'll probably double in size for. I'm thinking now would be a good time to start coming out to a few people so then when the new people come it will already be an established thing. It's tough figuring out the first people to come out to here since we don't have an HR department. 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
15 hours ago, tesla1026 said:

I'm thinking now would be a good time to start coming out to a few people so then when the new people come it will already be an established thing.

You could do that or just continue to let your presentative evolve.  It's like the analogy of boiling a frog.  Start with warm comfortable water and start to slowly turn up the heat.  The frog never gets alarmed and jumps out of the pot.   People will notice your changes but won't make much of it because you're still the person they know.  You don't really need to announce it unless you feel you need to. 

 

There is no HR department so you should gauge acceptance based upon the company's leadership.  

 

Jani 

Link to comment
  • 4 years later...
On 5/19/2018 at 1:11 PM, Jani said:

You could... let your presentative evolve... People will notice your changes but won't make much of it because you're still the person they know.  You don't really need to announce it unless you feel you need to.

Bumping this old thread because this caught my eye. This is pretty much my strategy and I'm hoping it'll work.

 

@tesla1026 if you spot this did you try this idea? How did it go?

 

Would love to hear from anyone who's tried this gradual progression technique rather that make an announcement.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Abigail Eleanor said:

Would love to hear from anyone who's tried this gradual progression technique rather that make an announcement.

 

I'm now 3 years into HRT and have taken a targeted rather than "everyone must know" approach.  For most people I casually know, for example, I have not hidden my (gradual) changes, but have not made it a point to announce anything.  My philosophy has been "why should the burden be on me to be public, and it be widespread knowledge, about my gender identify?"   There's also a safety aspect to this.

 

Glad you raised this as a question, @Abigail Eleanor -- it's a good one.

 

Astrid

Link to comment

I'm a software engineer and have been working from home exclusively for over 10 years.  I came out to everyone, work and personal, almost 2 months ago.  I felt that announcing it to everyone would be overly dramatic, but I decided to do it anyway.

 

The result has been excellent.  Being full time in my target gender has increased my confidence.  I enjoy wearing my feminine clothing 24/7.  I enjoy people calling me Lydia.  Yes, it does make people behave different in that they are now on the spot of calling me a different name and thinking about my gender differently.  For most of the people I deal with, it doesn't seem to be a big deal for them.  I am doing a better job at work because I'm not waiting all day to change into the clothes that I want to wear.

 

I personally don't believe that any physical changes from HRT would have been noticeable.  But not hiding at all anymore has changed my life for the better.  And getting my men's clothes out of the house forces me to present feminine when I leave the house.  I've worn my heels into stores.  I have realized that they just are not practical for doing regular shopping, but if I'm going to a restaurant, they are totally fine.  Some boys noticed me in a restaurant yesterday and put on a silly show for me talking about their clothing trying to get a feminine reaction out of me (I wasn't wearing my heels).  I'm sure they knew I was trans, but it was fun and affirming.

 

I'm in Portland though.  YMMV

 

I must admit that I kind of wish I had to go into an office once in a while now.  I'm kind of all dressed up and nowhere to go.  Working from home is great though. 

Link to comment

Perhaps I'm painting too rosy of a picture of it though.  It did put a strain on all my relationships.  Some people from my personal life appear to be ghosting me.  It may be a year before I have a clear picture of what really happened.

 

I struggled very hard with whether to come out.  I think I got lucky, especially on the work front.  And being in Portland certainly helped things.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 43 Guests (See full list)

    • Delcina B
    • Diane Neal
    • Confused1
    • Willow
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      77.8k
    • Total Posts
      732.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      10,415
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Cmiles
    Newest Member
    Cmiles
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alex_
      Alex_
      (20 years old)
    2. Alisande
      Alisande
      (33 years old)
    3. Claire4now
      Claire4now
      (64 years old)
    4. Laura Michelle
      Laura Michelle
      (58 years old)
    5. Linda041w
      Linda041w
  • Posts

    • Delcina B
      Welcome Bo! Glad you're here. I can relate to someone trying to make me feel I was selfish for choosing to transition. My reality was, if I didn't I'd be drunk, dead, or both. I hope you find the wonderful support, advice & acceptance here as I have.   Hugs! Delcina 
    • Marcie Jensen
      Given this information, what she was a naked woman. Period. So...why is this even an issue? Which also begs the question, how on earth could the teen have known Ms wood was trans? This looks like an attention grab to me...
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      So, if there was no penis to see.... How exactly did the girl think she saw a naked male? Size of shoulders? Bone structure?  And without seeing genitals, how did she know this individual was naked in the first place?  Or am I a little bit dense?
    • CD Rachel
      Hello, sorry that I have been away for awhile but life sometimes has a way of getting interesting. So I have been seeing someone for the past 4 months now. We have been having a wonderful time together and I almost feel like my past life was a dream. Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family went very well. I feel so much like this is the life that I should have always had. I am totally out as Rachel and though I am not passing being fearless has led to meeting many new and wonderful people that accept me.    I have been surprised that I am also now being seen as the person that I had always wanted to be. Several times over the past 2 month people have  complimented me for being brave, generous, kind, loving, honest and open. Honestly when I started my transition these are the characteristics that I had written down describing the person that I wanted Rachel to be. The one that I was not planning on was brave but apparently that is how I am seen. My transition has truly been a transformative experience.   I hope that it is ok if I share a couple pictures of myself.... one from work and one from home.   Well, I have a lot of reading to do in order to catch up.. Hope everyone is doing well!  
    • Chanelta L.
      Hi Ivy,     It was a different time back 50's, 60's, and even 70's. Trans definitely wasn't a thing back then. Female impersonators, now that was the term. Now that I look back, my parents knew my tendencies, and I remember one conversation they had with me once about a supposed friend of my dad. There was a club near us for a while that had Female Impersonator shows and they told me about how his friend had a son who performed there and they were so proud of him.    I was oblivious at the time, but even if I knew it was a way to out myself I would have been too afraid to do so. I did not want to be different I guess.   Well I am much less afraid now, and am going to explore and embrace this side of me for sure. And you're right, it is never too late.    Chanelta
    • Ivy
      Saw a bit more on this: https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-a-santee-california-ymca-locker-room-freakout-became-an-anti-trans-crusade?ref=scroll   Thought this part was interesting. "In quick succession, the story traveled from KUSI to the New York Postand Daily Mail. A game of telephone played out in the process, with Mail, OAN, and The Daily Wire reporting that Phillips had seen a penis in the locker room. But Phillips herself had said in her city council comments only that she had seen a “naked male.” On local TV, she got a bit more specific, saying that she “did not see the man’s front side.” In fact, it would have been impossible for the teenager to see a penis, because Wood underwent gender-affirming surgery in 2016."
    • Maddee
      Sorry lame comment. I am surprised and happy to hear your good news Heather! Best to you going forward 🌈🌈
    • Jackie C.
      I know a AFAB NB who had some hormone therapy until their body had more-or-less the appearance that made them comfortable in their own skin. I presume they went through one of the informed consent clinics. I don't see them going cowboy route and just self-medicating though I've never asked.   Hugs!
    • Ivy
    • VickySGV
      Fully agree with @Carolyn Marieon locking this one.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I grew up Orthodox... church was mostly a ritual.  I joined my current faith community and actually began to believe because of my husband's first wife.    I'm strangely comfortable with my community, even though patriarchy is even more intense than where I grew up.  Sometimes you find out that you belong in a very unexpected place.
    • Mmindy
      Congratulations, that's wonderful @Willow I was raised in a strict Southern Baptist Church, and appreciate the learning it provided me as a young adult. I left the Baptist Church, when I moved from Missouri to Indiana, attending a Missouri Synod - Lutheran Church. I liked their teachings, however I wasn't going to go through the requirements to be confirmed. I've settled in a Friends Church that is Quaker based, because they don't judge people and are more free will. When ask about my Faith? I say I'm from the Church of independent thinkers. I do consider myself to be Christian, and because most of the Christian Based Churches believe in the same basic tenants of Christ. His crucifixion, and rising three days later to pay for our sins. I'm more about my own personal relationship with the Trinity. I don't like how some churches spend more money on things, than people.    Hugs, I know you'll make a difference.   Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋 
    • Carolyn Marie
      Yeah, I think this thread has about run its course and has detoured onto unintended roads.  Let's move on, shall we?   Carolyn Marie
    • thoustan
      Hi, amab here has anyone who is also amab nb gone down the route of hrt?   I have some questions if you have?   Do you feel more validated as an nb, did you ever feel like it pushed you to far the other way?   How did you acquire the fem&ms or whatever shape you got the oestrogen in, did you have to diy it or were you able to get a prescription? If you got a prescription were you honest abt being nb or did you have to fake being full mtf?   Did you go on a full or reduced course and did you take testosterone blockers or no?   If you did go on a reduced course was there anything you weren't expecting or was it what basically what described with a full course just lessened (this is what I'd expect)?   Is this post more suited for the hrt forum?
    • Astrid
      As you know, the wait times for this in the UK via NHS are years away.  I have UK friends who have have the funds for the private route and were happy they did.  We do NOT recommend over-the-counter HRT, if you're considering that.  There are real health risks that need to be considered and monitored.   I am NB and began low-dose estrogen under the auspices of an excellent gender clinic here in Boston in December, 2019.  Physical changes did occur (at a slower rate), but I found low-dose did not offer me mental improvement of dysphoria, so under supervision we increased the dosage.  I'm very happy now with both the physical and mental changes that HRT affords.   I underscore what @KathyLauren recommended -- seeing a gender therapist was very helpful for me, and for many, many other folks who participate in TransPulse.  Finding an exact label for your identity is something many folks focus on at first, but the label is just a label -- finding the actions, whatever they may be, that make you happy turns out to be more important as we move forward with our journey.   Cheers,   Astrid
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...