Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

interview tomorrow


Regn

Recommended Posts

I have an interview tomorrow for an academic job. I’m not good at interviews at the best of times and this is far from the best time. BUT i answered the selection criteria without much effort and because of the combination of practice and academic experience that they want, in a fairly obscure area, i know the field of applicant won’t be huge. Worried by how much i want it though - hurtling towards disappointment, i fear.

 

I talked to a senior academic at a different university who has sat on selection committees for decades and asked her about risks vs necessity of disclosing gender. She recommended that I not disclose until/if I get offered the job, and then to call the head of school and say basically, “i know this isn’t relevant to my capacity to perform the role so i didn’t mention it earlier but want to be fully up front with you before I accept the offer”. It’s illegal here to discriminate on the basis of gender identity but she said she’d be very worried about unconscious bias because prejudice in this area is so prevalent. So that was kind of sobering but made me glad i asked, and i trust her judgment and experience.

 

After i left her though, i thought, what does that mean for the way i present? When I’m suited up in work clothes, strangers tend to read me as M but really i’m in that messy in-between place that just makes most people confused. I had planned to wear what I always wear to formal work events (ie suit and tie) but after talking to her, started questioning if I should change that.Eventually decided  to not actively hide anything at the interview - so wear what i want and don’t lie - because gender really isn’t relevant. But know this is a risk. 

 

I guess i’m just realising how complicated this can be - even before i get to worrying about name changes and qualifications.

 

Enough already. 7am flight tomorrow. cheers

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Regardless of how you decide to present best of luck.  It is certainly difficult to know that our gender shouldn't make a difference but know that somehow it does.  

Please let us know how you fare.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

I had pretty much the same dilemma a couple weeks ago.  I am MtF and there's no way in you-know-where that I'd try to pass myself off as my gender assigned at birth but in the intimacy of an interview, for an hour, I'm probably going to leak some unconscious gender tells from my former socialization not the least of which is my voice.  I was freaked out about it during the 24 hours prior to the interview and especially in the lobby waiting but I got through it and don't think I did too bad either.  I AM very well qualified for the position but two mid-west, white privileged males are a tough audience and I couldn't tell for sure if they read me or not.  I haven't heard good or bad news from them but I've prepared myself for disappointment and I'm continuing to look.  One almost has to do that though.  If you think about it, several people apply and only one gets the job.  The odds are stacked against you before you even apply.

Link to comment

well I’m pretty sure I f*cked it up. Nothing to do with gender though, I guess that’s something. I failed all on my own merits lol

 

Hope you fare better Lace

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well even if it didn't go well you have a baseline for what you need or the types of questions asked.

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It could easily be that it simply wasn't the right job for you.  Don't give up hope.  Hopefully

you will ace the next one.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

So I found out yesterday that I didn't get the job.  Point for point I was perfectly qualified and the region where I live is desperate for workers so it's hard to imagine why, if you're qualified with a good work history, you wouldn't be hired.  I get gendered both ways, I was interviewed by two white, privileged males and I DIDN'T talk about my gender yet I suspect they may have read me. I'm wondering what the rest of you think about a very polite follow up call to the main person who interviewed me to ask why I was not chosen.  And, again, in a polite way, to ask them if they were fearful that my gender might have been hard for their customers to accept.  In no way would I be accusatory or sound bitter.  Just a professional discussion where we DO talk about the elephant in the room.  I'd like to know to help me decide what to do and say in future interviews. 

Link to comment

I've hired a lot of people over the years and have never had any problem with people calling me and asking what they may be able to improve upon next time. I've done the same thing myself and in at least one case, that conversation really helped me figure out where I needed to do some additional work and training.

 

I have had the occasional person call me and word their question poorly so it sounded like an accusation. Not knowing your experience, it very well could be discrimination and I've seen plenty of people come up with what seem to be reasonable reasons for not wanting to hire someone when those reasons were not there for other candidates. But regardless, I suspect you are right that if you just ask

 

I would ask something like this:

"I really enjoyed meeting with you yesterday (or whatever) and I am still very interested in your company / organization. I would be interested in applying for a position in the future if one comes up. Could you tell me what I could do to improve my chances in the future?"

Link to comment

I would ask, Lace. I didn't get mine either but when they called to tell me, they offered to give me feedback. I said no thanks because I already knew how I'd screwed up but if you don't, then I would definitely ask. 

 

As for the gender thing, is it legal to not hire someone because "my gender might have been hard for their customers to accept"? Because if it's not (it's not here) you may not get an honest answer. 

 

I have an application in now for a poorly paid job in the redneck country town I used to live in. I'm almost certain I'll get it but they're wanting to call me to check I understand what they job entails (I'm way overqualified for it). I'm avoiding picking up when they call because I can't decide whether I should withdraw or not and I'm worried they'll offer it to me and I won't know what to say. Do you hold out for something better or take what you can and make do? I really hate decisions like that.  

Link to comment

They can't legally discriminate but there's nothing to stop them from naming some other reason for not hiring me.  If they did read me and didn't hire me for that reason, they probably wont admit it which is why I decided not to call them.  There's nothing worse, in my opinion, than looking for a new job.  Job descriptions always look to me, like Jesus himself wouldn't be qualified.  Then, for those who apply (many) only one is chosen.  The cards are stacked against a positive outcome.  It has to be one of the most discouraging thing a person has to do. 

 

Thanks for the responses @Regn & @Annie

Link to comment

I agree @DenimAndLace I hate it so much. And thinking back, I don't remember ever getting a job through that method. All the jobs I've had have come about through more informal means initially. If that doesn't change it rules out whole industries though who only employ through formal processes.

 

I've decided to withdraw my application for the job in bogan-ville. I might end up homeless but I'm going to stay here and get my surgery in December. Then I'll worry about work. Too much stress right now. 

 

Hope something works out for you soon.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 122 Guests (See full list)

    • Betty K
    • SamC
    • Jet McCartney
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,023
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Delaney
    Newest Member
    Delaney
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
      Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
      Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
      Luke.S
  • Posts

    • KayC
      @Mia Marie I agree that it seems most of the focus is on Trans Youth.  And maybe that is in part because of protecting Trans Youth from the political environment, and to give them a chance to transition at an earlier age.  Many of our generation have been cloistered for most of our lives by societal exceptions and I think that has made it more difficult to be Visible ... until Now. So I guess my answer is ... Be Visible and seek out, or even start, support groups in your local area.  Planned Parenthood does provide Gender Affirming Care and therapy in most U.S. regions (and they take Medicare!). 
    • KayC
      As a registered CA voter I would be HAPPY to vote against this bill ... BUT as @Carolyn Marie mentioned it has little chance to make the ballot.  Hopefully this will put the Death Knell on the bill.   wrt Parents Rights of notification.  I would agree if there was potential harm to a child, or if the child was involved in potentially harming somebody else.  BUT, that would not be the case in the preponderance of situations.  The decision to Come Out to one's own parents should be up to the individual child only.  If the child does not feel Secure or Safe in their household then it should not be up to the State or School to make that determination. If the child did feel safe and secure they would have probably already come out.  If they haven't ... then the situation seems obvious.  Protect the Child, not the System.
    • KayC
      Great news!  We ARE starting to receive more public support and visibility in opposition to these types of horrendous and wasteful bills.
    • KayC
      Nice to meet you @mattie22 , and Welcome! Your feelings are very normal.  I felt much the same at the beginning of my Journey.  But, in fact it is a 'journey' that is unique to each of our individual lives.  There is not a specific or pre-determined destination.  That's up to you to discover as you find your way. You already received some great Encouragement here.  I hope stay with us, and you will both discover and contribute.  Deeps breaths ... one step at a time
    • KayC
      Fortunate we have some Gatekeepers out there still.
    • Davie
      Incredible news for transgender and abortion providers and patients in Maine. Despite violent threats, Gov. Janet Mills of Maine has signed a sanctuary bill into law. It even enshrines WPATH Standards of Care as protected by Maine.   https://twitter.com/ErinInTheMorn/status/1782894991368462520/photo/1
    • Davie
      Incredible news for transgender and abortion providers and patients in Maine. Despite violent threats, Gov. Janet Mills of Maine has signed a sanctuary bill into law. It even enshrines WPATH Standards of Care as protected by Maine.   https://twitter.com/ErinInTheMorn/status/1782894991368462520/photo/1
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Basically my only source of validation is from close friends who know I'm trans 😅   I'm not a very masculine-looking guy in general, and I've had to stop binding due to pain, so strangers and physical validation aren't things I can get. My family still uses she/her pronouns and female terms with me, so there's not much validation at home, either.   I'm grateful I have friends that are willing to use my pronouns and such, though. It makes me feel a lot better.
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • violet r
      This is a question I ask myself all the time. When I'm out I hope that I can some what pass
    • violet r
      I use my  chosen name online and when ever I can. I play some online game and only go by that name. That is how everyone there know me. Yes it does feel great to be called the name you prefer. 
    • Breezy Victor
      I was ten years old when my mom walked in on me frolicking around my room dressed up in her bra, panties, and some pantyhose. I had been doing this in the privacy of my bedroom for a little while now so I had my own little stash box I kept full of different panties, bras, etc ... of hers. My mom's underwear was so easy for me to come by and she was a very attractive woman, classy, elegant. Well when she walked in on me, she looked at me with disgust and said to me... "If I wanted to run around like mommy's little girl instead of mommy's little boy, then she was going to treat me like mommy's little girl."  She left my bedroom after telling me NOT to change or get dressed or anything and returned with a few of her work skirts and blouses and such. She made me model off her outfits for her and I have to admit ... I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. I felt so sexy, and feminine. And she knew I loved it.  She told me we can do this every weekend if I'd like. It would be OUR little secret. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      The usual social ways, of course.  Taking care of my partners and stepkids, being involved in my community.  That makes me feel good about my role.   As for physical validation and gender... probably the most euphoric experience is sex.  I grew up with my mother telling me that my flat and boyish body was strange, that my intersex anatomy was shameful, that no man would want me. So experiencing what I was told I could never have is physical proof that I'm actually worth something.  
    • KathyLauren
      <Moderator hat on>  I think that, at this point we need to get the thread back onto the topic, which is the judge's ruling on the ballot proposition.  If there is more to be said on the general principles of gendered spaces etc., please discuss them, carefully and respectfully, in separate threads. <Moderator hat off>
    • Abigail Genevieve
      People who have no understanding of transgender conditions should not be making policy for people dealing with it. Since it is such a small percentage of the population, and each individual is unique, and their circumstances are also unique, each situation needs to be worked with individually to see that the best possible solution is implemented for those involved. 

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...