Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Woman? Man? Agender? Genderfluid? idk


Aro

Recommended Posts

Im a born female but i remember now knowing that theres more than two gender and a possibility of bwing trans that i used to be highly curious in male stuff at a very younge age. I was facinated to learn boys had different parts than i did. Id like to walk around the house shirtless and occasionally curiously pee standing up like i saw the men in movies do it. Id allways hang around the guys like uncles and feel macho and cool and although im allways content with my female family members hanging around the guys had allways felt rigjt especially when id play soccer with my three male buds rushing and clammering to kick it away (i lost a lot but only because my friend landel was freakishly tall, like 5 foot 9 in middle school tall and i was a puny 5 foot.) 

 

I also started noticing i never quite felt comforatable ESPECIALLY at serimonies. Those were the worst. I hated weating those stupid dresses and make up and allways long to wear a nice suit and tie instead feeling it was much more neat and easier than shaving my mammoth legs (thanks dad). When i did dress girly i never felt pretty and most times it was to show off to others and kinda validate myself. I would wear booty shorts with my friends because otherwise thwyd tease me and for a while i thought this was normal but i was recollection a lot of what i did what them was influenced by the pressure of trying to fit in and the more i dug deep the more i rwalizes id never truly been content with my appearance. Something was just allways off for some reason.

 

This of course led me to the conclusion that i must be a trans male. The ideas of the word father and beother and son felt nice but something was off again. Now to predasess this i dont have much stuff to experiment with atm. I dont have a proper binder or packer or many masculine clothes. Dont have any makeup experience to excentuate my male features so i allways look feminine esc but theres allways a sense of consfusion especially around my breats. Ill look at the bra in the mirror and halfway cringe but faintly kinda like it, ever so slightly. I hate everything else, would prefer to have male parts below the line on all accounts and if the chance was given and bottom surgery was fantastic id get it changed in a snap but as i look at my breasts i cant decide what the hell i think of them. 

 

This goes into other apsects like when i picture myself at times its a girl and like right now while five minutes ago that image was okay i dispise it again wanting to hurl at the simple consept of shorts and halter tops, without a flat chest that is. This could come down to sexuality and style i suppose. Im pretty gay but i can see myself dating anyone really and do get attracted to women all be it less frequently than men so perhaps im just having a moment of attracction, like my style of girl i make myself is a type im attracted to or if im kinda idk agender of kinda gender mixed. I did see a study that trans women have brains that are organized like females and trans men tend to have an inbetween. Not male but a mixture between the typical male and female brain set up so maybe thats my case? I have no clue and it gets frusterating because i want to come out. I want to be certain and tell everyone and get the transition going and be content with whatever pride flag i end up holding but i cant find thw one that fits me. I cant fit anywhere at all entirely and everytime i get close something changes again and theres doubts. Is this normal? Is there any ways i can learn what i actually am and atop having to do quiz after quiz trying to find something out about myself.  What the hell am i?

Link to comment
  • Admin

It takes most of us a long time to get a definite idea of who we are and what our identity is.  Be safe, but not in a hurry to reach a single end.  I am post GCS female (???) but with time I am shifting back a little more to Non Binary, but that is just how the mop flops.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It sounds to me that you are understanding and accepting who you are at this point.  Putting a label on that is always difficult and really isn't necessary.  The hope is that you are simply comfortable being yourself.   Perhaps as that comfort develops a label will come to you.  I have liked the trans* label with an (*).  It simply means you have gender issues.

Being here and sharing as you have helped me find that comfort with myself.  Hopefully you will as well.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 74 Guests (See full list)

    • Petra Jane
    • April Marie
    • Breanne_O
    • MirandaB
    • MaybeRob
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
    • Heather Shay
      A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear. -You cannot snore and dream at the same time. -The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime. -A hippo’s wide open mouth is big enough to fit a 4-foot-tall child in. -Chewing gum while you cut an onion will help keep you from crying.
    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Colorado isn't exactly a Republican place, and won't become one anytime soon.  I think those folks might be better off not spending their time playing Don Quixote.    We certainly have our share of California "refugees" moving into where I live, so I wouldn't be surprised to start seeing Coloradans too.  I suspect the trend over the next few years will see the blue areas getting more blue and the red areas getting more red as anybody who can relocate tries to find a place where they fit better.   
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, at least it'll be a place some folks could choose.  Options are a good thing.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My family would have gobbled that jar up in a minute or two.  When we do have pickled herring, its usually for Christmas.  I didn't grow up with that particular dish, but I grew up in a Greek family so I like just about any kind of fish if I can get it.  However, ocean fish and freshwater fish taste so different.  We usually have more catfish and tilapia to eat than anything else.    What I can't quite get used to is the tons of cabbage my GF insists on eating.  When you live with a Russian, there is always cabbage soup.  Always.  When I first moved in with her, breakfast was "shchi" for soup and either bread or "kasha" which is a bowl of boiled buckwheat with butter and salt.  Those dishes can be made in any number of ways, some are better than others.  In the winter, it can even be salty and sour like kraut.  Not exactly sauerkraut, but packed in tubs with vinegar and salt so it keeps partially for the winter.  But I drew the line when the cabbage soup included pieces of fried snake one day.  😆
    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...