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Wife comes and goes...


Katy Ann

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Ok.... Going in a week to see a thearpist. I ask my wife to go.. But she refused. Said i need it not her. I tried to explain it would be good for the both of us.. One minute she's understanding telling me she's there for me.. and the next she's upset crying saying she knows own she'll lose me... Which she won't. She is the only i can tell my secrets to and lean on. This has been hard on me... Doing the best I can to reassure her I'm not going anywhere. Since I've been  dressing  more and wanting  to feel more like a woman ... she told me she feels like Katy Ann is replacing her. I know she's going through alot. Over the years I didn't dress up much... And if i did I would hide.In fear I would upset her... But I know she knew but didn't say anything. I told her this feeling inside can't be turned on and off like a switch.  It's funny she told me she feels like she's competing with another woman but the other woman is me. My god is that crazy? I love her. I don't know what the future holds. But i'am going to be who i'am on the inside .. No more hiding. Do i want to transition from male to female? Well probably not. But I want to be accepted for who iam. .. I love my wife. God only knows what she's feeling... But I will be there for her and do the best I can to be her loving husband. I told her marriage is accepting each others flaws ...Everyone comes with baggage... .. in any relationship.  . I will be patient... and  love her... sometimes I feel  was it worth it to say anything? Time will only tell. Just want to enjoy my life and enjoy Katy Ann. I'am still me...  Sorry I wrote so much.. it just feels good to get it out...  

 

Katy Ann. .?

                     

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Katy Ann, you're going about this the right way.  The therapy is good inviting your wife to participate is good, explaining your needs and being patient, all good.  At this point all you can do is keep those lines of communication open, give her space and time, and let things play out as they will.  Be guided by the advice of your therapist, too.  Things do change, especially attitudes, and usually it just takes time for the spouse to adjust to the new reality.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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1 hour ago, Katy Ann said:

Do i want to transition from male to female? Well probably not. But I want to be accepted for who iam. .. I love my wife. God only knows what she's feeling... But I will be there for her and do the best I can to be her loving husband.

I'm sure you've told her this, especially the acceptance part.  As Carolyn says just keep those lines of communication open.  

 

My wife accepts me and loves me but she wishes he was still here.  She does agree that I'm a lot nicer person to be around.  Don't be afraid to demonstrate that you are a better person when you are totally honest. 

 

1 hour ago, Katy Ann said:

Sorry I wrote so much.. it just feels good to get it out... 

Never feel sorry.  We're here to be a sounding board for you.  Hugs, 

Jani 

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You both are right... I will continue to give her space .. I can't wait to see the thearpist... I will ask my wife again to come... I've been so down and working is so hard... But I'll keep my chin up.. Being able to express myself here makes me feel good.. I tell myself one day at a time ... Thank you for being here for me...  

 

Big Hugs, 

Katy Ann 

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