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Reason I cross dress


ckd

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I started crossdressing when I was in my 20's (now I am 51).  There has always been a sexual component to my crossdressing.  My wardrobe consist of short shorts, short skirts. crop tops, high heels, g-string panties, fishnet stockings, skin tight stretch jeans, tight leggings, etc...  It turns me on to put on a sexy outfit and make-up.  I fantasize about going to an event or a bar (a place accepting of crossdressers) dressed in a skimpy outfit .  I have no desire to dress in normal women's clothes - by normal I mean professional or casual look. 

 

Anyone else have these feelings?  It's really the only reason I cross dress. 

 

 

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Thank you for your honesty.

There was a period of my life when i found dressing to be somewhat sexual in nature.  I did go to bars dressed in relatively skimpy outfits.  Over time that has changed.  I am not looking for the type of attention that i felt was necessary then.  Perhaps it was by realizing i could live those fantasies that i've found myself.  

I think for many there is at least a period when dressing brings out sexy feelings.  Today i show those feelings in a more subtle

way.  Even a slightly darker red lipstick can express my sexuality.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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I can understand, as I have a tendency to be wanting to look at least a little sexy and often do wear skirts perhaps too short. I think with me 'attractive' would be more the right word though. My wardrobe has never really been that extreme. Living in a quiet little village means that dressing like that would look really odd although I do wear really short (hotpant) type shorts sometimes in the summer and my jeans and leggings are skintight.

 

Tracy

 

 

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Thanks for the responses.  I have been cross dressing for 25 years and have always felt this way.  I am not going to evolve.  I don't want to dress as a woman in public unless it would be at some fetish event or gay bar.   I have never done that (dress in public) but would love to sometime if the opportunity presented itself.  In the past I have got together with female friends in private who would help me with makeup and liked my skimpy outfits.  It's a fun thing to do.  I don't see myself ever changing. 

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  • 4 months later...

I keep going in circles. I love to wear woman’s intimates and a nice sexy nightgown. I’ve stated again wearing panties under my jeans. I just feel more comfortable. I don’t know if it’s just the rush I get or if I truly want to be a woman? 

I’ll buy woman’s clothes then throw them away only to buy them again. I’m so confused. I live alone and would love to be cuddled and told I’m beautiful. I just can’t seem to be happy being fully a man. I’m just a mixed up person I guess. One day I say I will never wear woman’s clothes and the next I’m buying them. Can anyone relate to this? 

 

Tessa?‍?

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28 minutes ago, Tessa said:

One day I say I will never wear woman’s clothes and the next I’m buying them. Can anyone relate to this?

I have purged a half dozen times in my life.  Each purge more costly than the previous one.  My very last purge was an incredible loss financially.  I wish I had even half of the items I tossed or donated back right now.

 

When I was much younger and living at home with my parents, it was a bit different.  I would wear my sisters clothing (mainly underwear, bras, and nylons under my guy clothes.  It was a "turn on" mainly because of the taboo factor but it felt more like myself when I wore them too.  Eventually, shame would prevail and I promised myself that I'd never do it again.  That usually lasted less than a week.  Because the clothing was not mine, I could not purge it, of course.  The effect on my psyche was similar though to an all out purge.  No matter how many times I did it, when making the pledge never to wear them again, at that moment, I truly believed I could do it. Crazy me!

 

Susan R?

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1 hour ago, Tessa said:

 I just can’t seem to be happy being fully a man. Can anyone relate to this? 

 

Tessa?‍?

 

Ummm join the club Tessa. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself, it's hard to conform to something that is so restrictive, so stifling.

 

What you are going through many of us have dealt with all in our own unique ways. The desire to wear the clothes of a woman while still living as a man outwardly is something you should pay attention to, you can run from her, but she will find you, and ask again, "is it time ?"

 

I found true happiness actually being a woman. Washed clean of the shame and guilt, but that's just me, we all follow our own paths.

 

Take care Tessa, it's ok, enjoy the clothes and realize it's part of you.

 

Hugs

 

Cyndee -

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You said “you can’t run from her?’ I try to because I was raised thinking this way is wrong. It’s gotten so bad that I have a pretend boyfriend. I mentioned this on the site before. The feelings get so intense sometimes that I see myself as a woman and almost every night I’m dreaming either I am a woman or I’m a man ashamed. Last night I dreamt I was a man living with a woman but I was hiding the fact I had woman’s clothes. I was hiding them under men’s clothes. I know this means something so it’s interesting you would say this to me. 

 

I was so so happy I bought my first dress then I bought another one. I mentioned the new dress on this site and even showed a pic. But I threw them away. My mom knows about my cross dressing and wants me to stop. I think I just stopped because I wanted her to be proud of me. So childish.  

 

I live alone and these desires can become overwhelming. That’s why I went out and bought a bra, set of painties, and a nightgown. I love the idea of being cuddled so much that I wrap myself in my blankets and pretend my boyfriend is holding me. Do you think this is wrong to do? My mind makes him the perfect match. He tells me I’m beautiful and lovely. I don’t here these things in my life at all. 

 

I think my mind is so lonely wanting that perfect relationship be it male or female. But my mind is most comfortable being female. I love to take baths and make myself smell nice. Not a typical male thing.  I like to write about romance and watch romantic movies. When I watch them I typically see myself as the female. 

 

Recently I’ve started a story about who Tessa is. I’ve actually put myself in the story as a woman transitioned and I’ve created characters that hear my story and I create their reactions. Crazy...

 

I created myself to be a woman with blonde short curly hair and a petite figure. My body is skinny in real life like a woman’s and I don’t for some reason get a lot of hair on it. My skin I keep smooth. I love the feel of smooth skin. I lotion everyday. 

 

I’m struggling through the feelings right now. Some nights after work I just want to put on my nightgown and go to bed and pretend my boyfriend is holding me. Crazy...

 

I guess this is better than acting out in other ways. I want my mom to be proud of me but I just can’t seem to not wear the woman’s clothes. 

 

Anyway. I’m glad I can reach out. 

 

Love 

 

Tessa?‍??

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Good Morning Tessa, I said "you CAN run". I ran from this, I hid it so well,

Getting back to your situation Tessa, I think the relationship with your Mom is so important, I can tell in your words how important it is to you. You want to please her, you want her to be proud, I also think that your relationship with your mom is linked to your feelings of wanting to surround your mind and body with feminine things. You may want to examine these feelings closer, and how you wanting to please your Mom is connected in your life. In the mean time don't be hard on yourself for wanting to wear clothes of a woman, we are here to tell you It's OK, be yourself, be genuine, listen to the voice inside you, what is she telling you ? You have a place to express such things on our forums safely, with those that may be experiencing or experienced similar things. When I was a young person, there was no Internet, you have a true resource here in 2019.

 

Experience tells us this will not go away Tessa, and while you may be able to remove these feelings temporarily or mask them, experience tells us you will be repeating the same behavior pattern given time.

 

Hugs and be well

 

Cyndee -

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I want to be my genuine self but I feel that in order to do that I will suffer humiliation and ridicule. Maybe more from myself than anyone else. I get so stressed on days I see my children. I want to give them more than I can but I still get upset when they ask for things. I sacrifice a lot for them and I want them to know that when they visit it’s about relationship but it always turns out I buy them something. Today I bought the books. It’s a blizzard here so tomorrow’s visit I may have to cancel. The ex refuses to replace any days missed. This makes me so mad!  I’m trying to be the best person for my children but sometimes I come off being mean. But in the end we all settle and love one another. 

Its hard when you have a 16,14,12 year old children. I want to buy more woman’s clothes this is what I wrote in my diary but only pages back I wrote I won’t. I feel lonely and a little depressed but I know that I’ll be ok. I just miss having someone. Nights are the worst!  I manage though. Thanks for your response. 

 

Tessa?‍?

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Today I am being confident and supporting my feminine side. I decided to wear a bra and panties under my clothes but out in public. This is a huge step in letting Tessa out! But it feels good! I’m tired of ridiculing myself and licking away the true person inside. I think I might buy s wig just to see what I would look like with long hair. Only thinking about it at this point. I want to feel free and not ashamed of Tessa. 

 

Tessa?‍?

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This is a struggle that we all make our way through. It’s one of those very personal things we deal with. How can you allow yourself to simply be. It took me longer than I’m proud of, but I got there. I wore women’s clothes under my “costume” for at least 10 years almost every day. Heck I knew who I was in grade school. But it took me half a lifetime to accept it. 

I saw in your last post you mentioned an issue I struggle with as well. The want to support your children ahead of yourself. My wife made me realize something when it comes to this. As a parent yes your kids require your financial backing to survive. But it’s not all theirs either. You are allowed a piece of that pie for yourself. What you do with your piece is up to you. They require your time and love more than your wallet. That’s where the best relationships come from. Time spent. Not money spent. So please don’t forget about you. You deserve things to make you happy as well. 

And congrats on this awesome step forward!! 

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Thanks, 

 

I agree with you in that time spent is better than money spent. My 14 year old is a trans teen girl. She wants to be a boy. Mom refuses to support him in this and leaves it up to me. So she has very little clothes due to mom won’t buy boys clothes for him. So I have to but have little money. Originally I named her Heather but she wants to be known as Carter as I want to be known as Tessa. I don’t know where this name came from but I love it!  I want to be me not what society tells me to be. It’s hard for me though because none of my family understands. I struggle with being a man but being a woman comes natural. I haven’t tried hormones yet but I do shave my legs and wear woman’s intimates. I want to buy some dresses and go all out! I even am thinking of a wig. These are big steps. I just want to feel happy and fulfilled. It’s a struggle sometimes. 

 

Tessa?‍?

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Tessa, I have lived with the woman inside me for more than 74 years. I began cross dressing when I was 6 or 7.  Society and family have played a large role in repressing the person that I am. It has taken a long time with very small steps to get to where I am today.  It has taken a long time for me to accept myself as a transgender woman.

 

I live in a very conservative community where all the people who know me see a male.  I wear woman’s cloths every day that are gender neutral so the woman inside me feels right.  The day my come when I can wear a dress or skirt and blouse here and be accepted.  Until then, I’ll continue to do what makes me feel ok.

 

Hang in there Tessa, take things slowly and enjoy being the person you are.

 

Hugs

 

Sandra

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Thank you. 

 

I am seeing more clothes for men with brighter colors. I love pink and I look good in it. I have skirts and dresses but I only wear them in the privacy of my own home. 

 

I can go either way. But the female in me always seems brighter and more full of life! I love the nurturing side of me that wants to help people. 

 

My stuggle is in finding the authentic me. I also seem to draw people to me by my kind and open spirit. People just love to smile and talk to me. 

 

I once was told by a guy that I dress for the world. I’m always dressed up nice. I’m not afraid to be me and maybe that’s what people see. 

 

For me the transitioning is more in your mind than in your body. Clothes do reflect who we want to project but our mind and personality is who we really are. 

 

I would love to dress fully like a woman and be accepted as such.   This won’t happen though because for me I feel I would be judged and ridiculed. 

 

I was made fun of for my skinny body all my life. I am trying to cope with these feelings but it’s so hard. I just can’t be who I was before. A depressed man that was always judging himself and comparing himself to everyone else. After my divorce I changed and became a more loving person and this person has female and male. I have to tell myself it’s ok. 

 

I love my children and try to brighten everyone’s life around me. I feel like I’m here for others not myself. The love that I give is for others and someday will be returned. Until then I will continue to express myself and love who I am?

 

That was a lot off my chest. 

 

Tessa?‍?

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On 9/27/2018 at 5:46 AM, ckd said:

I started crossdressing when I was in my 20's (now I am 51).  There has always been a sexual component to my crossdressing.  My wardrobe consist of short shorts, short skirts. crop tops, high heels, g-string panties, fishnet stockings, skin tight stretch jeans, tight leggings, etc...  It turns me on to put on a sexy outfit and make-up.  I fantasize about going to an event or a bar (a place accepting of crossdressers) dressed in a skimpy outfit .  I have no desire to dress in normal women's clothes - by normal I mean professional or casual look. 

 

Anyone else have these feelings?  It's really the only reason I cross dress. 

 

 

Hi! Enjoy your feelings when you dress up. Never deny yourself pleasure, as long as it does not hurt you or harm others. I’m happy that you enjoy it! 

I have sexy clothes, and wear them if I want to feel sexy, or if I’m feeling sexy, but I wear casual women’s clothes as my norm. I wear boy clothes in public because I have not “come out” yet, but I’m planning on taking some baby steps soon. 

 

My boy clothes are mostly shorts with 5inch inseams , so that makes me feel better cause it shows off most of my legs ?. Surprised that Walmart has put some shirts out that have better designs/colors coming from ‘George’ line that makes me feel a little better in public. 

 

Enjoy yourself and enjoy life! 

 

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Yes, I feel that way. I love dressing completely like Tessa and watching a movie while feeling someone that loves me is near hugging me. Sometimes I just like to be cuddled. My ex never did this so I never have experienced the feeling of someone just holding you. Not many in my life say they love me either. My trans daughter does though and it means the world to me!  I love him so much and I seek to understand him. 

 

I recently bought some clothes from target in the men’s section that are more gender accepting. I’m wearing a pink shirt right now that I bought.  I mainly wear jeans and bright or design t-shirts. I bought a pinkish pair of pants in the boy section from American Eagle. I have 3 bright shirts with Marilyn Monroe on them. I’m a big fan of hers. 

 

My dresses and mini skirts I only wear at home. My legs have never had much hair on them and I am skinny so I think I look good in a mini skirt but I have not dared to go out in public in one. 

 

I wear panties everyday. Not just because they make me feel like the right gender but they are more comfortable. I wear nightgowns to bed and since I have retired my sweatpants that I use to wear I have had better dreams and easier nights. I sometimes wear my wig to bed and it helps. 

 

I keep my nails done and they look cute. I only have used clear nail polish. I’m seeing that it’s the small things you do that can help you. I still feel weird shopping in the woman’s area but no one seems to care. Most people just go about their day. I do notice some looks when I wear a lot of pink. I also purchased a garnet ring with diamonds and another diamond ring. I wear one on each hand. It reminds me I am beautiful. 

 

I find today I’m on this site a lot. I want to find myself and be happy with who I am. I always feel like I’m on the outside. I want to feel like I’m on the inside. Accepted and loved.  How long will it take? Who will understand me? Will I ever accept just the way I am? 

 

Sorry I’m just really feeling it today. 

 

??‍?❤️

 

Tessa 

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Just now, Tessa said:

Yes, I feel that way. I love dressing completely like Tessa and watching a movie while feeling someone that loves me is near hugging me. Sometimes I just like to be cuddled. My ex never did this so I never have experienced the feeling of someone just holding you. Not many in my life say they love me either. My trans daughter does though and it means the world to me!  I love him so much and I seek to understand him. 

 

I recently bought some clothes from target in the men’s section that are more gender accepting. I’m wearing a pink shirt right now that I bought.  I mainly wear jeans and bright or design t-shirts. I bought a pinkish pair of pants in the boy section from American Eagle. I have 3 bright shirts with Marilyn Monroe on them. I’m a big fan of hers. 

 

My dresses and mini skirts I only wear at home. My legs have never had much hair on them and I am skinny so I think I look good in a mini skirt but I have not dared to go out in public in one. 

 

I wear panties everyday. Not just because they make me feel like the right gender but they are more comfortable. I wear nightgowns to bed and since I have retired my sweatpants that I use to wear I have had better dreams and easier nights. I sometimes wear my wig to bed and it helps. 

 

I keep my nails done and they look cute. I only have used clear nail polish. I’m seeing that it’s the small things you do that can help you. I still feel weird shopping in the woman’s area but no one seems to care. Most people just go about their day. I do notice some looks when I wear a lot of pink. I also purchased a garnet ring with diamonds and another diamond ring. I wear one on each hand. It reminds me I am beautiful. 

 

I find today I’m on this site a lot. I want to find myself and be happy with who I am. I always feel like I’m on the outside. I want to feel like I’m on the inside. Accepted and loved.  How long will it take? Who will understand me? Will I ever accept just the way I am? 

 

Sorry I’m just really feeling it today. 

 

??‍?❤️

 

Tessa 

Hi! We sound so much alike. More than 90% of my clothes is women’s clothing. I haven’t done my nails in a long time, but I think about it every time my nails get long. I usually wear lipstick, and sometimes I use mascara. As long as I’m wearing my wrap skirt, thong, cami, and bra, I’m happy. And it sounds like you are happy too. Nobody has really asked me about how my looks have changed. I have long hair now, I use an epilator on my body, so I do not have any hair on my legs (way too hairy before ?), my shorter shorts, ( I used to wear those long cargo shorts ?), and I pluck my brows (not over plucking tho, did that once and , no.) I get looks tho, especially when I’m wearing my shorts. I get looks from my nipples always being hard, more so now that my hrt is showing a little with weight distribution. I’m even noticing more. Can’t wait until it really kicks in. I’m about close to two months, so I have a lot to look forward to. 

Your confidence will defiantly help others, and maybe your special someone will see you. It usually happens when you least expect. Do the things you like to do, and who knows? Bottom line, enjoy life! 

 

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Great topic. I have been dressing since my teens. Never had a "mom" thing, just felt better in panties and bras. In college it was panties I bought myself in different towns, no Amazon back then. Got married and she was semi supportive. Panties, nightgowns, and some "-friendly person-" clothes. We acted out sexually and I slowly became sub to my wife. We wife swapped and I loved watching her with men. We saw 1 couple for almost a year. It developed that he was the Male and I acted as a les. 

Years later, 3 kids and a divorce my new wife was very supportive.  Full wardrobe, makeup, attending a support group and going out with them. Biggest problem was she didn't let Hallie in the bedroom. 

5 years later after another child and divorce I found the greatest wife anyone could have. Our lifestyle has progressed to acknowledging  we live as lesbians. My wardrobe has gone from frumpy to stylish. We will travel and once through TSA, I'll go into a men's room, put on a bra and A cup pass. We socialize, I have my brows faxed at Ulta, but my makeup there. 18 months ago I started hormones that have made positive changes to my body and mind. 

Only negative is my 4 kids I can't share any of this with but life is finally wonderful.

Hallie

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  • 7 months later...
On 4/26/2019 at 11:29 AM, Sandra6sandy9sand said:

Hi Tessa, I have lived with the woman inside me for more than 74 years. I began cross dressing when I was 6 or 7. 

Hugs

Sandra

Me too, Sandra. I started at about 8, I seem to remember, but there were times before then when I just tripped on tight DIY costumes. I've reached 75 years with those same things as you, and I'm very happy to know I'm not the only fogy on this forum. I'm sitting here in a comfortable black bra that's starting to poke, and tight fitting tuckable panties. The feelings are moving away from sexual gratification toward enjoyment of the sensations and some understanding of how women feel. I'm letting my hair grow out, enjoy the "curls" in the mornings, but other than home, I wear it in a man-style pony with a bandana head scarf. I imagine myself as a young attractive girl, I enjoy dressing up alone at home, but the sight greeting me in the mirror turns me off on the idea of "presenting" in public. Uugglyyy. 

Really, I have no idea what to make of it all. This forum is teaching me to accept, "It is what it is." I shop on ebay and AliExpress, where the clothes are cheap in price and quality, but it's fun getting new stuff in the mail. Go try it on immediately, usually with my collection of vibes, but they're becoming irrelevant. So I don't know where this path will lead me, but I don't care much at my age, and I'm curious to see the sights along the way. From here on out, we fogies can live our lives the way we want and I enjoy trying to figure out what that is. 

Hope to talk some more, friend.

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  • 4 months later...

When I was around 4 or 5 years old, my older sister dressed me up in my mother's clothes, put make up on me, and then sent me out to the family room for everyone to see ... everybody seemed joyful and said how cute I was .. I remember it like it was yesterday.  I was SO happy.
When I repeated that dress-up on my own a few weeks later, I was met with scorn and told to never do that again.  I was heartbroken and confused.
Flash forward 50+ years later ... I finally understood that first "dressed up" little boy was actually happy in his true self identity.

 

Teen years of secret dress-ups in my mother/grandmother's lingerie was part of adolescent sexual excitement and awakening, but also felt natural to me. 
Suppressed again through adult decades of a professional career in a male dominated/masculine world, marriage and raising children, those feelings finally could not be contained (without significant anxiety issues .. long story).  Now, happier as a closet crossdresser. 
My wife accepts it (but doesn't seem comfortable to see my as a woman .. understandable) so that makes it much easier to buy and maintain a small wardrobe (to be hidden away when the children visit).  Lots of trial and error with online shopping but managed to get my MtF sizes down.  Happy to offer my advice and lessons learned.

 

This is not an end point for me though.  I know I feel sexual excitement when I am dressed, specially in lingerie, but I don't crossdress solely for isolated sexual fulfillment.  To me, that's a lonely world.

I do feel that my true identity is fulfilled when I am fully dressed as a woman (normal dresses, not campy) with wig, makeup, jewelry.  So for me its just the beginning of a longer journey ... not sure if/when I will reach my destination.  But, then .. that's why I am here.

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I love being my guy side and as Mika.Have loved it since I was 13 years old.As Mika,my mind is like a genetic female's and it shows.My 2 younger sisters Hannah and Jenna love it when I am dressed as Mika,say I become a great big sister.I always loved the feeling of wearing women's clothing and still do

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  • 3 months later...
On 4/30/2020 at 4:57 AM, KayC said:

So for me its just the beginning of a longer journey ... not sure if/when I will reach my destination.  But, then .. that's why I am here.

Me too, Kay. I live alone now, and due to Covid, I'm dressing femme most of every day and night. It has evolved from a turn on to  a habitual and natural part of my normal routine. The thought of HRT has crossed my mind, but at 76 with the entire list of Covid-adverse medical conditions, I doubt they'd Rx it. I'd like to experience the shifts in emotional outlook they talk about. To me, being in a more feminine frame of mind sounds very mellow.

My big question is whether these feelings will continue evolving toward increasing femininity, or do they plateau and become my default status quo? Continuing evolution would be good, but the hassles that seem to come with transitioning sound daunting.

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18 hours ago, Leah said:

My big question is whether these feelings will continue evolving toward increasing femininity, or do they plateau and become my default status quo? Continuing evolution would be good, but the hassles that seem to come with transitioning sound daunting.

Hi Leah.  Those are definitely valid questions, and we each individually have to find our own answers.
Its nice you can dress as part of your daily routine, and I am sure that is helpful with any dysphoria involved.  I think I have been "evolving" my entire life, and even more so the last 4 or 5 years, so I have no expectation for that to stop, but it does not necessarily bind me into any fixed outcome.

Actually that is the next step in working with my therapist now.  Last session she affirmed for me the validity of my dysphoria and that in her eyes I am transgender.  But, that still leaves me to determine what that will mean in how I want to live out the rest of my life (and I am a bit long in the tooth also).  If you haven't started or tried gender therapy I hope you can take that opportunity.  It REALLY helps.

I agree and connect with your feelings of the "daunting" nature ... oh How I do!  But my goal is to try to not allow fear of change make the decision for me.
Happy to be on this same journey with you, Leah!  Lets do our best to be Happy❣️

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9 hours ago, KayC said:

Happy to be on this same journey with you, Leah!  Lets do our best to be Happy❣️

Me too! Let's be girlfriends.... Do you know how they do it? Tell me, please.

9 hours ago, KayC said:

If you haven't started or tried gender therapy I hope you can take that opportunity.  It REALLY helps

I'm thinking more and more about this. They have some "LGBT Veteran Care" at the local VA hospital, and you have inspired me. I just sent an email inquiry about gender therapy services available to me. Gulp. [No matter how tentatively we stick our toe in the water, it still makes waves.] 

I don't think I suffer from very much dysphoria, actually. When I have to get back into my male persona, I don't hate doing "manly" things like DIY home repairs. I'm organizing another shop with my old tools. But I love it when I can shed the sweaty clothes, shower, get smelling good, and put on feminine casual clothes, with bra and panties, of course. I call that my "femme head," and she is feeling more and more like me. These days, I am enjoying being in that head more than my manly man head. 

In my present state of arrested development, HRT would be a welcome experiment, if it didn't kill me with all my preexisting conditions they warn us about. I'd need a doc or two to take me there.

I don't know where I'm going, I'm not sure where I've been, but I've been puttering along for a long, long time with occasional, fearful forays into femininity, followed by fearsome shame. That's lessening now that I'm living alone. My dog's cool with it, either way. 

Thanks for being on this same journey; it makes me happy to be on it with you too, Kay.

 

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      (51 years old)
    5. Seriana
      Seriana
      (42 years old)
  • Posts

    • Betty K
      I’m glad to hear you mean no harm and have no beef with genderfluid folks. Thank you for clarifying that. This still seems a strange presumption to me though, when so much of anti-trans propaganda is clearly either (a) concocted in bad faith to justify an argument, or (b) based on ignorant assumptions. Yes it’s possible a few outliers in the trans community are making ridiculous claims about this topic, but even if so I seriously doubt they are the cause of the relevant anti-trans propaganda.    That may well be a fair call, and you’re right that “transphobe” is an over-generalisation. I used it as a shorthand and because, as Sally and MaeBe said, there is always a transphobic minority that spreads the anti-trans views which then unfortunately influence some who are less transphobic. But I still think we can fairly characterise such beliefs as being transphobic, at least partly. As to the absence of hatred in those church documents, you may be right about that, but I would be wary of taking people or institutions at face value when they urge love and compassion. Even the most virulent transphobes sometimes claim to support trans people. Actions speak louder than words.    I do better understand your anguish over lack of belief in trans identities now though. It must be very difficult being trans and involved with certain churches. I know there are some churches that accept and affirm trans folks though; maybe it’s time for a change in denomination?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I looked through the Focus on the Family material and also the Southern Baptist Convention stuff, both highly influential, both rejecting transgenderism.  I found no hatred but an urge to treat people with love and compassion. I found some logical fallacies in both and nothing convinced me to change my position.  SBC assumes someone who is transgender is not saved and so is not allowed to join their congregations.    I have a certain affection for both.  FotF helped us with some material that helped us raise our kids and on most issues they are fellow travelers.  SBC seeks to conscientiously fight the good fight but I would never join a SBC church for reasons that are irrelevant here.  Not that I could now in good conscience.  I look like a guy? SURPRISE!  Left boot of fellowship.   The Nashville Statement is worse.  CBMW.org wrote it and it has been criticized heavily by some trans folk. . https://cbmw.org/nashville-statement#articles  I am saddened at some of who signed the thing. Articles 10 and 13 are of particular interest.  Other things can be found here that trans folk would take exception to. But they do not treat TG as something flippant.    I would not refer to any of these as transphobes.  I am not sure the term is useful in conceptualizing or interacting with those who object to the idea of transgender being something besides sin.  When all you have is a hammer, everything is a nail.    
    • Maddee
      Happy to see the rainbows again🌈🌈
    • Ashley0616
    • Vidanjali
      Nice to see you, dear and congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. Very well done!
    • Vidanjali
      It's estimated between 1-2% of the general population is transgender. This is based on a cursory web search of studies and stats. So apply that to all teachers and students in Florida. According to ballotpedia, in 2022 there was a total of about 3 million public school teachers and students combined. That does not include  higher ed institutions and private institutions. So let's tack on another million people which is a pretty conservative estimate. 1-2% of 4 million is 40,000-80,000 people.
    • Vidanjali
      Both. In the course of experience an individual will naturally go through periods of inquiry and seek to define their experiences for deeper personal insight. This potentially goes on and on, though some have greater curiosity than others.
    • Ashley0616
      Heck I would get rid of the left and right lower rib. I would love a narrower waist but I would still need to get rid of my gut. I guess I'll do liposuction and tummy tuck and while they are at they can remove those ribs. 
    • MaeBe
      What @Sally Stone wrote is what I think as well.   The flippancy they ascribe to trans people is to validate their position that trans people are given to whim and swayed by the "trans ideology" that is "poisoning" humanity. Projecting this narrative on trans people "wins them points" in the game of their own making and being loud about it gets others to listen. They get those, who likely don't have a personal stake in transgender rights, to nod their heads up and down to increase the volume of their rhetoric. The passive transphobe does this because they have never needed to comprehend gender as anything as what they've always assumed; the "easy" answer the loud ones project just seems "logical" when there is no comprehension or compassion.   Once a person looks past their own ignorance they can come to understand this isn't about what they fear (insert crass statement about what transphobes are actually afraid of). It's just too easy to be ignorant and state "all I've ever known are two genders, boys and girls, who have sex together to make babies" (conflating gender and sex, as usual...) instead of taking just a little bit of time to understand the world is more complex than a simple bible verse.   For those people, I have a rib or two they can have for making more women--that's just how they're made--I really want a narrower waist for dress season.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      St. Louis is a Cardinals town.  At least you have the right team!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The mindset seems to be: they are not crazy, we are.   Surveys indicate the majority of people are in favor of trans rights.  There is a minority that is influenced by the inner minority, the hard core "transphobes".  I think a lot of people simply need information.  But then they get two streams of information from opposite directions. 
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon everyone,   We're heading back to the St. Louis, MO metro area for my sister-in-laws retirement party. It appears that everyone on that side of the family now knows about my coming out & transition. So they will be looking at my androgynous manner of dress, in a totally different way. I'm wearing workout leggings, and a St. Louis Cardinals jersey. My leggings doesn't have pockets, so I'm carrying a cross body sling bag. My hair is held back with a white Cardinals visor, and my tennis shoes have Cardinal red lases.      Let the side eyes begin,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Sally Stone
      Abigail, I think this line of thinking comes mostly from the cis community, specifically, those with an anti-trans agenda.  These are the self-proclaimed experts ( who have no idea what it's like to be trans) trying to tell us they have a better understanding of being trans than we do.    
    • Ashley0616
    • Maddee
      You are so welcome 😊🦋 🌈🌈
  • Upcoming Events

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