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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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Thankyou @Shay, @ElizabethStar and @Jacqui for your kind words. I felt really good today ... having one of those "I know I dont cis-pass but feel pretty anyway"  kind of days. Besides, I think some men are just stupid.

 

Elizabeth, the double-think involved in what you are going through sounds like hard work. Hopefully things will settle down soon.

 

And Shay, you too are such a gorgeous person. Take care.

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4 hours ago, Erikka said:

After explaining she didn't respond.

It takes a modicum of intelligence to rise above stupidity....

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3 hours ago, Berni said:

Besides, I think some men are just stupid.

 

If either my adult OR high school experience is anything to go by, a LOT of men are just stupid! ;) (No offense intended to our F2M brothers, If you're even at the point of questioning, you're clearly highly evolved and enlightened if you ask me. And hey, it goes for just as many women, too.)

 

Seriously, from both an insider AND outsider point of view, I think masculinity is in desperate need of a similar "refresh" and "reawakening" as femininity got a few decades ago. In far too many cases, masculinity is still stuck in the same cro-magnon swamp that femininity was stuck in up until the 1960's.

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Yippee!!  Sixty-six years ago, a girl named Kathleen Lauren ______ was born.  Officially.  My new birth certificate arrived in the mail!  Woo-hoo!  I'm me!! ?

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My wife letting me go through a pile clothes before she gets rid of them.Cleaned out her closet and lets me pick out what I like in the pile.Picked out a few nice dresses,skirts and tops including  couple pairs of jeans

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Hi Willow I actually had a drive sprocket off an excavator fall on my foot past the steel toe. 
 

Excited for my laser appointment tonight.

 

My boss told me yesterday I have one week to cut my hair if I don’t he said I will be held down and he is going to cut it himself. I’m really tired of hearing about my hair.

 

Bernie you look gorgeous.

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@Emily michelle That is terrible on both accounts. I know on my vacation with family I got comments about how long my hair is too and it didn't feel good at all. It's really a shame that your boss is able to get away with that behavior, but I also know that calling harassment on a boss isn't a good thing either in many places.

 

I decided to try the Starbucks Nitro Cold Brew this morning, and fail to see what all the hype is about. I enjoy cold brew coffee, just the Nitro doesn't taste special to me or any better than what I normally get which is larger and the same price I would have paid (thank you stars). I keep toying around with the idea of doing my makeup before therapy at Noon (Eastern Time), it just feels really intimidating to me. I have thought about maybe just doing my eyes as a starting point (maybe that will be easier).

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@KathyLauren congratulations big smiles girl.

 

@Emily michelle that sucks...i hope you find a better paying and people place. Sounds like ACLU time.

 

@QuestioningAmber wonder thought doing make up. I wear ear studs all the time and eye brow make up and Lady shirts to therapist but I still suck on full make up application. If you feel better DO IT GIRL.

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@Emily michelle good morning sorry to hear about your foot.  That can be quite painful now and in the future.  Since when does a boss have the right to dictate the length of your hair?  I know that in restaurants they dictate hair nets for sanitary reasons but unless your hair has gotten a lot longer than your picture it isn’t going to get caught in any machinery.  And if it’s longer there are ways to keep it and you out of danger.  That just doesn’t sound right on any score and if he tried I would think he could be arrested for assault.

 

Willow

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Emily, as long as your hair isn't a hazard and kept by company policy. they have no grounds to bitch about. 

 

Well to work again. Luckily now working with the new guy today he has it off. The new transfer starts today.

 

Things have been feeling cold with my wife. Of course asking what is wrong only get nothing as a response . Her almost uncaring attitude is getting to me. Like yesterday, She makes dinner, homemade pizza and salad. She puts both in the fridge and grabs her worms and walks out the door. Not saying a word, to me or my son.

I just wish I could find a position so I could move. Now since the car I planned on taking is laid up. I don't really know what to do.

 

I need a friend and mentor in the worse way.

 

ShawnaL were are you LOL

 

Hugs, Kymmie

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Good morning 

 

made my coffee. Sun is up, partly cloudy and cool.  IT’s been a really strange year.  Stuck inside due to COVID-19,  hotter and way more humid than I recall.  And now it’s actually cooler than normal. Hurricane season isn’t over yet but that’s been strange too.  We have been fortunate in that we haven’t been hit but we’ve had two come pretty close.

 

it’s been really wet this year too. I suppose a result of the unusual weather around us.

 

well, I’ll continue to enjoy my coffee.  Hope you all have a great day.

 

Willow

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@KymmieL my heart goes out to you and I hope counselling is happening. I feel for your son but hope you are understanding and making him know the issues happening are not his fault. I hope the job and wife situations get better. I have the wife issues and understand the egg shells you are walking on. All you can do is accept that she is going through a tough situation for her and keep your cool and keep planting?good seeds. You didn't ask to be trans nor did any of us but we have to deal with what has been given to us. We are special in that way and we have been given the task of teaching others the ability to understand others who are different from them.

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@KendraMLit always nice when you can wear your wife’s clothes, IF she lets you.  My wife and I can share tops but that’s it. I an nearly a foot taller and without a butt, so I’m at least a size smaller and talls verses petites.  
 

unfortunately, some recent purchases didn’t fit her so I got them. She playfully gets mad when her clothes fit me better or look better on me.

 

Willow 

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@KymmieL I know how difficult things must be right now.  Many of us have experienced this or something close.  Another member has left the site and is dealing with nearly the same issues with her wife. 
 

getting away when it becomes necessary isn’t easy that’s for sure, especially when you’ve built a life together before you realized what you needed.  
 

hang in there, good luck job hunting.  I hope you find something sooner rather than later.

 

we are here for you and will all try to help.

 

Williw

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As far as I know there is no rules saying I can’t have long hair other people have long hair. I’m just sick of hearing about my hair. Apparently we don’t enough to do at work besides worry about my hair. I could only imagine what will happen after I come out to them.

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15 hours ago, Berni said:

"Good morning sir .. "

 

Honestly, some days this is absolutely exhausting!

 

Having my morning coffee at the local mall. Despite the misgendering, I refuse to feel anything but radiant today.

 

Hope everyone has a great one.20200930_100047.thumb.jpg.9ff6394368ec0667e8acfbfd5374dd3f.jpg

OMG- you look FAB!

I need to up my scarf game

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Congrats Kathy!, I just mailed my birth certificate change requests off to NYC.  No documentation needed for gender change so I should have my new name and gender on there soon! Can't wait.

So my big today revolves around my first solo attempt at makeup. It made me late as hell for work but I'm really happy with how I did and I feel wonderful. Of course I have to wear a mask most of the day but whatever, I feel great under it.

 

IMG_9146.JPG

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Morna alle sammen,

I can relate Emily michelle. I spent 40 years working in a male dominated,  mysoginistic, industry. The first 20 years they harassed me for being a hippie, commie freak. In the last 20, their pathetic little minds were working overtime to understand my hair that now was tied up in a high pony tail, sometimes in braids on neither side and sometimes (shock) done up in a French braid and when I got both ears pierced, well....there were whispers.  I was tired of hiding. And I got lots of -crap- for that hair, but by that time a few brave women had come to be part of the work force. The company had instituted a hair policy for the women and I just followed those guidelines. I also had the advantage of having a friend in HR who held the company and my fellow workers to the intent of the working contract. Unless your hair is in violation of written company rules, your supervisor is on veeeery thin ice and would be liable to violation of first amendment rights. Be strong.

Velsignelser

Erikka

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6 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

Yippee!!  Sixty-six years ago, a girl named Kathleen Lauren ______ was born.  Officially.  My new birth certificate arrived in the mail!  Woo-hoo!  I'm me!! ?

 

Congratulations Kathy!

 

Hugs, Mike

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@Emily michelle So sorry to hear about your foot! I hope it heals up quickly. That is kind of irritating about your boss, so what if your hair is long. As long as it doesn’t affect your job performance he shouldn’t mention it. 
 

@KymmieL I am sorry to hear about the strain you and your wife are having. I know it has been such a battle for you during this time, may you have peace soon. 
 

@Bri2020 You look fabulous!! I am jealous of your hair too! I have curls and ringlets, but yours beats mine in beauty! 
 

Hope all have a good Wednesday. I am waiting on my counselor to join our virtual session currently. Hoping to unload my worries on her. I couldn’t make it to the office this morning because of some bleeding so I changed to online. 
 

Be wonderful today!

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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      The usual social ways, of course.  Taking care of my partners and stepkids, being involved in my community.  That makes me feel good about my role.   As for physical validation and gender... probably the most euphoric experience is sex.  I grew up with my mother telling me that my flat and boyish body was strange, that my intersex anatomy was shameful, that no man would want me. So experiencing what I was told I could never have is physical proof that I'm actually worth something.  
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    • Abigail Genevieve
      People who have no understanding of transgender conditions should not be making policy for people dealing with it. Since it is such a small percentage of the population, and each individual is unique, and their circumstances are also unique, each situation needs to be worked with individually to see that the best possible solution is implemented for those involved. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      No.  You are getting stuck on one statement and pulling it out of context.   Trans kids have rights, but so do non-trans kids.  That conflict is best worked out in the individual situation. 
    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
    • April Marie
      You look wonderful!!! A rose among the roses.
    • Ashley0616
      Mine would be SHEIN as much as I have bought from them lol.
    • MaeBe
      This is the persistence in thinking of trans girls as predators and, as if, they are the only kind of predation that happens in locker rooms. This is strikingly close to the dangerous myth that anatomy corresponds with sexuality and equates to gender.
    • Abigail Genevieve
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    • Timi
      Leggings and gym shorts, sweatshirt, Handker wild rag. Listening to new Taylor Swift album while strolling through the rose garden in the park. 
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