Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

It's been a pretty good day for me.  Although I am trying to live full time these days, I still have a hard time with some things- example, bathrooms…  And pictures.  I finally got up the nerve to post a profile pix.

It was a big deal for me.

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2007

  • KymmieL

    1636

  • Mmindy

    1351

  • Ivy

    1169

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

  • Forum Moderator

Hey there @Jandiyou are light years ahead of me and I would proudly sit with you for a ️ coffee or ️ tea. I'm 64 and just out to my wife, grown children, and their spouses. 

 

Hugs, 

 

Mindy???

Link to comment

I feel for my wife and the other wives mentioned here, really. But I also feel like once I contemplated actually going through with transitioning I pretty much decided that if my marriage had to end then I was willing to pay that price. Really don't want to lose her, but also could see how resentful I would be having to put the genie back in the bottle.

 

Still together, going on five months of her learning of it. Things are ok, not great, not awful. 

 

But I really can't imagine starting this and then contemplating ending my life. I know that death will always be there waiting for me and really hope to get in some time as my true self before that happens!

Link to comment

I already mentioned it's been a pretty good day.

 And then to make it even better - my new shoes came!

I might even blow my diet and go for a bowl of ice cream.

IMG_1889.thumb.jpeg.a4f2d876f2e6c16089943e8ab12f953b.jpeg

Link to comment

@JandiI love the new shoes.

 

@KymmieLtake it one day at a time and work towards your goals and you will get there.  You are a lot stronger than what you think you are right now. HUGS

 

I know I don't post often but will try to get out of my shell more.

 

I had a good day as I have been trying to present more often in public when ever I have a brave and confident day. Today was such a day. I visited one of the local pet fish stores for some feed for my pets and some new plants for the aquariums. Rob, who has never met me, only the male (one) was very complimentary and accepting. We chatted for a while then I came home and then went for a short walk in the neighbourhood.

 

All in all it was good - chilly but sunny.

 

Big Canadian Hug to all

JoniSteph

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Other than the my middle son and Daughter in Law and the guys at work. no acceptance in the rest of my family.  nor my former best Friend  who talked me into staying with my wife after her 2nd DUI. As I have read that if they cannot support you through thick and thin they weren't really your friend. I still need to come out to my mom and my sister. Not worrying about my brother in law and my Father in law, the hell with them, the same with my wife. I'll let my wife tell her twisted truth. Once I get a job I am out of here. I cannot stay were I am no longer wanted.

 

I put in for Evidence specialist with a PD in OR. So I am expanding my searches.

 

I have mellowed some. Still upset. The big S hasn't crossed my mind. I am doing OK. Trying not to get on the computer too much not wanting to get my wife upset at me for not staying in the living room. And watching her fall a sleep. Only to Blame me for not talking to her.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment

Tonight’s adventure. I’m at the emergency vet. My little 35lb Border Collie got into it with one of my brother in law’s dogs, a 90lb Irish Setter. I tell you my little boy’s got spirit but unfortunately he didn’t get out unscathed this time. He got a piece of skin about the size of a dime filleted off his face.    So here I am, it’s bedtime and I’m out getting someone patched up again. I’m also going to have to learn how to do acrylic nails on myself. I managed to break one, separating the kids, a good 1/8 inch of the nail bed is exposed. I’ve worked too hard to get them this long and refuse to cut the others to match. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good Monday morning 

 

Yesterday started with tension in the air but my wife still said about going to church with me. We walked in to the Quad and she was greeted but a number of friends.  But she felt they were all wanting to know who was with her.  I left to work on the boat.  She went to see a friend that knows about me and greeted us at church.  She came home like everything was normal again.

 

Going to do some shopping today.  We need to decide on a panel for our tub surround so I can finish it. Take back a bra that is way too small.  Either mismarked or something.  And last, stop at the grocery store for some food and last minute Thanksgiving items.  Just the two of us, but it’s been that way most years for at least the last 10.  Covid or not.

 

enjoy your day

 

Willow

Link to comment

Finally having drug myself from bed, I have put coffee on to brew. I suppose it's a quiet morning of playing with my aussie and boxer before I head to work. I'm feeling a green tank dress.

 

Cheers to all, and good morning!

Link to comment
16 hours ago, CallMeKeira said:

Finally having drug myself from bed, I have put coffee on to brew. I suppose it's a quiet morning of playing with my aussie and boxer before I head to work. I'm feeling a green tank dress.

 

I love a nice tank dress :)

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi everyone 

 

Bad night last night. Kept waking up. When I actually got to rem or deep sleep I had a bad dream.  It’s the kind of dream I’m sure we all live at times.

 

in my dream:

 

I was rejected by my friends and family

 

i was alone wishing I had someone 

 

I went to the store to try to get sanitizer, turned out to be Costco.  I found the sanitizer got yelled at by a woman whom I was apparently blocking.  Looked at the price, couldn’t afford it left the store and thought to myself, I ought to walkout in front of a car.  Woke up.

 

now you have to understand I haven’t been completely rejected by family. My children talk to me but don’t acknowledge my situation.  They did yell at me for not keeping them informed.

 

My wife was laying next to me in bed although she is not always accepting.  The dog doesn’t seem to mind.  
 

I hate the holidays.

 

hugs

 

Willow

Link to comment

I’ll join ya’ll on the no sleep train. I’m fighting a virus that may or may not be the dreaded Covid. I’m eagerly awaiting my test result. I hate missing work, but I now have more time to practice with makeup.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Willow @Erica Gabriel I suffer from both lack of sleep and strange dreams often. Luckily most of the dreams I can't remember. Just that I had a weird one.

 

Well I got it. I am the proud owner of a 2020 Ford Ranger Lariat FX-4. Shadow black with black leather interior. I finally got my get away vehicle. I am taking it with me when I leave. MY wife had already told me that she'd turn in my MKZ if we split up. not expecting anything less with the Ranger.

I am thinking she was not 100% into getting the truck. She loved the comfort of the Lincoln. a couple times she teared up while we were waiting.

Oh, Well.

 

Have a great day everyone.

Kymmie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning everyone,

 

It's rainy and cold by Indianapolis norms. The coffee was Dark Roast Hot, Strong, and Black.

 

@WillowI'm taking Primidone for my central tremors and the side effects make you drowsy in the early doses until your body adjusts to the medication, as well as weird dreams. I use to only dream if I laid down for a nap or fell asleep while watching baseball or football on TV. That all changed when I started the Primidone, now I dream some of the weirdest dreams in the early AM after my routine 05:00 need to go potty. They are never frightful but very weird involving my wife most of the time, or my business partner on occasion.

 

My wife and I are attending Thanksgiving Day at our Son's house less than a half mile from our home. It's the smallest Thanksgiving gathering my family has ever seen. My late mother's birthday is Nov. 24th, and was cause for my four siblings all of their offspring and my own to gather in a reception hall for Thanksgiving and mom's birthday. Non of my siblings are gathering with each other this year.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
On 11/21/2020 at 9:03 PM, KymmieL said:

Right now I am still on the verge of water works. And yes the S came to mind. It was fleeting but it was there.

 

You are better than this. You need better than this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with demanding better than this. What good does catering to someone else's desire provide you, if there can be no hope of getting the same in return. Look at all the grief you have over how this is affecting her, when you seem to clearly see that you are not being respected. If it was me, which it is not, I would already have told her to figure herself out while she packs. That's just me and I know that is hard. I've done it. I have my days, when I'm sitting here alone, that I wish none of this had ever happened. It's easy to fall into the same old rut of blaming myself for all of the things that went wrong. Then I remember those times where I was minding my own business and doing chores around the house and she just would suddenly start yelling at me over nothing or cussing at our kids for being in the room while she watched television. I eventually said to myself that if I was going to ever find my own happiness, that I would have to stop putting everyone else's first. It's been a little over a year and things aren't perfect but, I am happier knowing my ex has to actually take responsibility for herself now and it's no longer my problem. I get to live the best I can for me now. Hopefully you will get that too, whatever shape that takes is your choice.

Link to comment
On 11/22/2020 at 7:23 PM, ElizabethStar said:

I managed to break one, separating the kids, a good 1/8 inch of the nail bed is exposed. I’ve worked too hard to get them this long and refuse to cut the others to match. 

I break my nails from time to time and I never cut the rest back to match my short one. I just keep working on my cuticles and generally file the rest to keep them neat and smooth until the other one catches up. I doubt acrylic would make me very happy and if they are not done by a professional they tend to fall off pretty easy. If a pro does do them then I would imagine they last longer but the cost seems outrageous for normal day to day life. Maybe if it was a special occasion or something. For anyone that doesn't mind doing their own nail polish, I recently got an led dryer and it makes a world of difference for sure. The polish dries to a hard enough shell within a minute and a half that I can touch something and not feel like I'm going to ruin the finish, plus the polish seems to dry in a smoother coat so they look so much better. Just an fyi. The one I got was only $25 and worth every penny.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Mmindy said:

My wife and I are attending Thanksgiving Day at our Son's house less than a half mile from our home. It's the smallest Thanksgiving gathering my family has ever seen.

My Daughter in law invited my to their place.  It's about an hour and half drive.  But I'll be driving by myself.  And they are pretty far out in the country.

 I reluctantly turned down a ride with one of my daughters to visit the other son and new grandchild.  But that would have been a much longer trip, northern Virginia - a good day's drive one way.

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Mmindy said:

Primidone

I was prescribed this medicine and I lost track of several weeks in time. I was forgetting when or if I even took the medicine and eventually I fell asleep behind the wheel of my car. I almost killed myself and lost one of my jobs when that happened. Be very careful with this. I refuse to take it now. I'd rather have the tremors than how that almost went.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I told my wife about my dream and we talked about it particularly the no friends or family part.  She said about all the friends I have here and on Facebook.  I value all my friends here but no offense it’s not the same as having a friend I can call up and go have a coffee or beer with.  I don’t have friends that live near us that know about me.  I pointed out she too has face book friends but more importantly she has friends that live here and that she can go out to lunch with and talk face to face.

 

well thanks all of you for being here and being my friends.  We should meet up for coffee.

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Abi said:

I recently got an led dryer and it makes a world of difference for sure.

 

Those are for gel polishes, right? Or it is also for any liquid polish?

 

3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Well I got it. I am the proud owner of a 2020 Ford Ranger Lariat FX-4. Shadow black with black leather interior. I finally got my get away vehicle. I am taking it with me when I leave. MY wife had already told me that she'd turn in my MKZ if we split up. not expecting anything less with the Ranger.

I am thinking she was not 100% into getting the truck. She loved the comfort of the Lincoln. a couple times she teared up while we were waiting.

 

I know things are difficult, but I'm very glad to see you taking steps to have some much deserved freedom on the horizon. I'd be the last person to feel I have room to give anyone relationship advice, but everyone deserves to be surrounded by people who accept them, not by frenemies, and I'm glad that you're working to have a much less toxic environment in your future. You deserve that.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

Those are for gel polishes, right? Or it is also for any liquid polish?

Yes, for gels and gel base or top coats. The majority of polishes are gel so it works real well for me.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@KymmieLI'm glad you'll have a reliable vehicle once you're out on your own.

 

@AbiWow, I'm glad you survived the Primidone events. I've been on it for a year now and other than the late AM dreams, I'm pleased with the results. I take a large dose in the morning with my other daily meds. and breakfast, later in the early evening I take a small dose to carry me through to bedtime. My tremors are now under control enough that I can eat soup with a spoon in public again.

 

@Willow, I feel your pain of not having anyone to talk to other than your wife and counselors. While my daughter is a supporter of my transition, she's unavailable to visit with because of how strict she is with COVID compliance. She and her husband have two boy that we haven't seen other than through their picture window since June.

 

Hugs for y'all,

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi all,

Just put my tiny holiday tree up in the window, have my (electric) stove on with a fireplace scented candle burning which smells sooo good, and am watching the snow fall outside my window. 

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

My tremors are now under control enough that I can eat soup with a spoon in public again.

I am really glad that your experience has helped you. I think it actually made me have them worse at the time but I've been off of it for month's now. Still having tremor's and happy I don't dream much.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 121 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Avra
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • violet r
    • MaryEllen
    • Ashley0616
    • Maddee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob was on his way home from the dojo and he "just happened" to driver by her place. It was 10:30.  Her light was still on.  He knew exactly where she was sitting.  He saw her in his mind.   A fierce wave of desire that took his breath away suddenly showed up. All he had to do was stop, get out of the car, walk to the door and knock.  She would answer, glad to see him.  She would know why he was there and what he wanted. She would invite him in, maybe get him something to drink, disappear for a moment and return in "something more comfortable."  She would lead him back. Oh, joy.   And never, ever speak to him again afterwards.  Or she would not let him in but be angry about it.  In no way, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, was she ready for this, and he knew it, if he was honest with himself, and she knew he knew it.  She would look upon it as another assault and their relationship would be irretrievably broken.  He would have to leave town. It would devastate her. It would devastate him.    He fought himself.  He was frozen to his seat as his reason and his body fought. He was twenty four years old, a full-blooded male with normal desires; he had just worked out and he was ready.  All he had to do now was open the car door. No one would know. He held his hands, one in the other, to keep one from moving, against his reason and will, to open that door.  He did not want to be a slave of his desires.   He looked across the street.  Mrs. McCarthy, sister of his landlord, was peeking though her window.  She knew his car.  Everyone in town would know by noon the next day if he got out of the car.  Taylor did not need that, either, and she would know, if he came to the door now, what a selfish thing it would be: in his own eyes, in the eyes of Taylor, in the eyes of the town, and worst of all, in the eyes of God.   He sat there a moment longer.  He was, as he reflected, entering into her sufferings in a small way that she would be made whole, healthy and happy: what he wanted more than anything.  But this hurt.  Why had all this come on her?  He asked God again, but there was only silence. He drove home in that silence. He chided himself for even going on her street and for driving on it other nights.  He would stop that, he told himself.   ------------------------------------------   The next morning Taylor went out to her car to go to work.  Mrs. McCarthy met her before she got to it. "I thought you were going to get lucky last night, dearie," she said. Taylor was puzzled. "Why, what do you mean?" "That young fellow - you know, Bob - he's been driving around here, going up and down the street some nights, not stopping.  Well, last night he parked and sat in his car for a while.   I think he was staring at your window.  I think he was trying to get up the courage to knock on the door. I was rooting for him.   But then he drove away.  Faint heart never won fair lady, as they say. What a shame. You two are a lovely couple.  Well, have a good day!" "Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy."  Taylor knew Bob extremely well and knew what had been going through his mind.  She was more than grateful he had not gotten out of the car. Better for him, better for her, better for everybody.  Surgery "down there" sooner than later.  This was driving the poor boy crazy. It was driving her crazy, too.  But she had a lot to work through. Surgery "up here" she said, pointing to her head.  She woke up her therapist on the way to work.  They were still talking when she pulled into her designated parking spot.  That was a perk that had happened yesterday.  She took a deep breath and headed into work. It would be another wild day.
    • Ashley0616
      bittersweet: especially : pleasure accompanied by suffering or regret
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I'm thinking about some interactions yesterday I did, while presenting as male but acting as female, that were far better than I did when I was presenting as male and acting as male.  #girlunderhood. I do a crappy job at acting as male and I am giving it up.  I am not talking about feminine gestures or presentation but just relating as a woman.  People don't realize I am doing it but it is a whole lot easier to do.   You don't just put on a dress and BOOM you are a girl.  You are a girl and you put on a dress.  Or not. Whether I am in jeans or a skirt (I wish, wife would have lots to say) I am a girl.  I don't need $250 in makeup and heels and hose and all that.  I don't need surgery. Honey, I have arrived.  Now I have to work out how that best works in my life, causing the minimal damage and creating the maximum good, but I have more working room.   Oh, and I am still pissed off at everyone and everything. #Contradictory.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Willow it is certainly possible that my husband planned it. Placing me in the path of an opportunity....he certainly does things like that. GF has done some work for the company as an outside consultant, so I'm sure the company owner knows what potential resources are around.    It could also have just happened randomly. He has taken me to work with him before, just because he likes to have me around. I remember one time that I fell asleep with my head in his lap, and he held a meeting with his subordinates without waking me and making me move.  The company culture is family oriented and relaxed.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The photo is great.  Software is phenomenal but it also is sort of a promise of things to come. Years ago this sort of thing took a photographer and Photoshop and all sorts of things and you would say, "I can look like THIS??"   Me, I am a duck.  That's from my driver's license.  Just kidding.
    • MaeBe
      I lucked into that picture. I took like 10 before that, which appropriately make me look like a donkey. ;)   Thank you so much for the compliment!
    • Mmindy
      You're welcome Sally,   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      This is a great analogy. The statement is true as it relates to the tree. The analogy fits because we as a LGBTQIA community are stronger when we stand together. It also work here on Transgender Pulse Forums. The support I feel from so many others has made me comfortable with my stance, because I'm in a beautiful forest of friends. So when I'm out alone and confronted. I can respond and act like the single tree in the field, surviving whatever comes my way. My roots reach back and communicate with others like me.    Standing Strong,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Sally Stone
      Mindy, that would be so awesome of you.  Please make the edit for me, and thank you so much!
    • Sally Stone
      M.   The term bigender works for me because after taking the time to explore my feelings, I kept coming to the same conclusion, that while I felt an overpowering need to express my inner woman, I also enjoyed being a man.  I realized that my personality was equal parts man and woman and to be happy and fulfilled, I needed to express both sides.  There are challenges living a life of two-gender expression, but I'll expand on some of those in future posts.     Hugs,   Sally
    • Ashley0616
    • Mmindy
      Sally, a moderator can edit the post adding "Post 3" if you would like. Let me know and I'll be glad to take care of it. That way your numbering system is in tact.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • mattie22
      I thought Hey, I can't be experiencing Gender destroyer because it doesn't fit the narrative, but Hey I can. I am experiencing mild discomfort in relation to my gender. Because and that can be a form of mild form of it this forum because their elements of my gender that are out of alignment with my sign gender at birth. There are elements of my gender I have been holding back on some I did not even know for fear it did not fit was told was not very manly or in some other way not correct for someone who is an amab. I tried embracing and expressing some of these parts of me even for just a little bit every once in a while and it feels like a relief to me like a weight has been lifted.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...