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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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I really need to make sure I check in more often, it took me an hour to catch up.  Wow, a lot has happened. 

Not much to report.  I've decided to try and really learn to sew.  Been a bit of a struggle. It seems like something I should be good at with all my other crafty type skills but so far I've been frustrated by all the mistakes.  I will get it eventually.  

Happy belated Bday @ElizabethStar

Congrats on getting on E soon @KymmieL

@WillowI'm happy surgery went well.  Good luck with recovery.

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Just got my first makeup from the Lip Bar.  How in the world do you open their lipstick?  The pictures look like there;s little dimples on the base holding the top on but when I try to pull the top off using my full strength it doesn't come off.  Is the a trick?

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Morning (rough typical tired voice)

 

omg this hurts a lot more than my left foot did.  I ve had joint surgery when I didn’t take any pain meds.  This time I’m all is it time yet?   More gruel please (gruel, aka pain meds). Cant hardly see either. So grammatical and spelling errors forgiven please.

 

no hugs please, can’t risk an accidental stepping on my foot. 
 

Willow ?

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Good morning,

@WillowHope you foot heals quickly. Although I've never had surgery on a foot I can only imagine how hard it is to get around. It's probably similar to a broken ankle.

 

@KymmieLI'm praying for you to get your meds soon. I would have lost it by now.

 

I only have enough coffee for one cup left. I took today off in observance on of my birthday. I had plans for myself  today but they were superseded by "More important" things.

I did it. I spent the entire gift card on much needed clothing. I'll do a mini fashion show and post pictures in the what are you wearing today thread when I get them in a couple/few of weeks. @AudreyDo I want to wear a dress? that's really a good question. I don't know for sure. I know I've never been able to stomach wearing a suit and tie but will need something for special occasions. When the time comes I'll see how it goes.

 

The new plans I had for today got thrown in the trash. We bought (on line) a whole house water filter system to remove the sulfur smell. I came home yesterday to the filter tank part waiting in our driveway but no pump or hoses. I was very disappointed having parts missing. I ended up spending about 45 minutes on the phone trying to get it resolved. My wife and I were very proud of me, I never got upset or raised my voice while on the phone. I was able to express my frustration without hurting anyone in the process. We eventually reached a resolution. I was refunded 30% and should have my missing parts next weeks.

 

As late as it was I made chicken tempura with rice for dinner. Since I found the recipe it's the only one we use for fried foods. It's a bit of a process but always so good.

 

Time to get dressed and get stuff done. Have a great day everyone.

 

 

 

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@ElizabethStarI hate when that happens. you order something and comes missing parts. The spend an eternity on the phone to resolve the problem that they(the company) made. yet it is never there fault.

 

Better yet. Years ago I ordered a performance exhaust for my 95 Explorer. It came in all the pieces were there. I go to put it on. Muffler and mid pipe go on like nothing. go to put on the tail pipe. Hook it to the mount above the rear axle. couldn't the manufacturer positioned the mount in the wrong place.  So I call the national online shop I got it from one of the places in Ohio. They tell me to send it back for a replacement kit. Of course on my dime.

I marked where the mount should be, took it to a local welding shop. Cost me $5.

 

Still waiting on that phone call I was waiting on yesterday. On pins and needles. Have my appointments this afternoon.

 

TTFN all

 

Kymmie

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Good morning everyone,

 

The coffee was quite, the bird feeders busy, and Suzie spent a little extra time fixing up her hair, as well as putting on some makeup to work at home. She did get some sad news from one of her coworkers who had an uncle pass away from COVID, and the son (her cousin) is now in the hospital with COVID.

 

Hugs for all,   (@Willow they're digital hugs, so you're toes are safe.)

 

Mindy???

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Hi everyone 

 

if I start slurring my speargun, it’s the drugs.  OMG what a mess Siri can make.  Or did I slur that.  Hmm we’ll never know. 
 

@Mmindy thanks for the digital hug.  Here is a hug back.

 

I know I’m not thinking strate. No strite. Oh gee wiz straight.  Lol just having a little fun.  
 

My wife is being very good to me.  Tried to make a secret breakfast for me but unfortunately I was awake and needed meds and coffee.  I ruined her surprise.  But it was very good.  Pillsbury cinnamon rolls mixed with scrambled eggs and cook it in a crockpot. Add apple slices to taste. When done serve with maple or other syrup to your liking.

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

 

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1 hour ago, Willow said:

if I start slurring my speargun, it’s the drugs.

 

You should absolutely not operate your spear gun in your current state. ?

 

That breakfast sounds delicious though. WAY too much sugar for my diet right now, but I want some.

 

Hugs!

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5 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I know I've never been able to stomach wearing a suit and tie

 

I had to wear those for years at work. It was absolute torture. I still have almost all of them and they're in the closet I wanted to clean out last weekend. I feel like purging them is going to be a powerfully healing experience and will help me find the motivation I need to risk kicking up dust and finding years-old dead bugs or live spiders (or worse!) in the process.

 

1 hour ago, Willow said:

Pillsbury cinnamon rolls mixed with scrambled eggs and cook it in a crockpot. Add apple slices to taste. When done serve with maple or other syrup to your liking.

Is it too late for breakfast? I'll bring coffee, I think I need some of that. Glad to hear you're home and on the path to recovery from your surgery yesterday. So sweet of your wife to try to surprise you!

 

I'm so glad it's Friday. This has felt like an excruciating long week and I need a weekend. I have to finish the grant application today, and not to mention, I've been thrown headlong into the disaster of a vaccine rollout here in NYC. The system is buckling from the extreme demand and yet the powers-that-be expect I have a magic wand to make appointments appear. It's been nonstop expectations management, and besides, if I had a magic wand, that's not what I'd use it to do.

 

Hoping everyone has a lovely day. @KymmieL I hope you get that call!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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Well my Endo got my message and was going to see about getting a hold of my Pharmacist. NO word yet. Hurry up and wait is the thing.

 

Still no word on the job front. No call back on the evidence specialist and no call for an interview for the analyst position. I am starting to get disheartened. I know I can't. I guess I will keep plugging along. On day at a time.

 

I am dreading going back to work tomorrow. I know half way though my shift my back will be killing me. Anyone know a way I can have  my brain put in the body of a 23yr old female but she has to be hot.

 

Kymmie

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T

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Anyone know a way I can have  my brain put in the body of a 23yr old female but she has to be hot.

 

 I think Audrey might have a magic wand.

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It's too late for coffee but.......

 

For some reason I was compelled to check the mail today. Not surprising there was a birthday card from my mother. I just figured it was the normal everyday card but it wasn't. The first word I read, in a big scripted font was "Daughter". Right there in front of me, a card from my mother, to her daughter. Honestly I didn't really know if my mother would ever truly accept me. Now...I do. I really wanted to cry (not in front of the wife) but I will cherish that card forever.

 

Before dinner I found myself out getting lottery tickets. The jackpot is somewhere around 6-700mil. The ATM is broken at the first store I went to (closest to my house) and won't let you pay for 'em with a debt card. A random customer piped-up and suggested where I could go. I headed out. The cashier there was extremely friendly, very helpful and kind of cute. When I was checking out he looked at me, in a sweet little voice, said "I know *****'s no your name, what is it? I just replied "Elizabeth". He then tells me what beautiful name I have. After he said that I did hear anything else. Holy crap! Did I just get hit on? or was he just flirting with me? When I told my wife she used what is becoming her standard reply, "This is what you asked for". What I asked for? Yeah...well, we'll talk about that at a later time. If it's what she has to do to settle with my transition so be it.

 

After dinner I got another happy surprise. For kicks I checked my work email. There was a message from HR. He asked me if I wanted my new insurance and benefits cards to have Elizabeth on them. We can do that? I'd love that.

There have been a few things getting to me lately and I needed some love.

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3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Anyone know a way I can have  my brain put in the body of a 23yr old female but she has to be hot.

 

(I know I'm nerding myself out with this answer, and most won't get the reference, but...) Major Kusonagi has a way via advanced prosthetic shell, but you have to live in a futuristic cyberpunk fiction. Upside though, is you also get invisibility. I'm on the waiting list.

 

In other news...I've now joined the trans-ranks and decided that face masks are seriously awesome :) ...I was just at the grocery store earlier this evening, I wasn't even trying to pass, but I still got accidentally correctly-gendered!!! I guess my long wavy hair (definitely my favorite feature right now by far...heeehee), zircon earrings, overweight "moobs", and face mask covering up most of my beard must've been enough to tip the scales. Considering I've been feeling rather self-doubty/impostor syndrome this week, that surprise just absolutely made my day!

 

I was in the checkout line, nobody behind me, just one guy ahead of me but he had already paid and was putting his bags in his cart. As the cashier (a really adorable college-aged young gal) was scanning my items, another employee came by to start bagging my items. I guess the bagger must've gotten confused and started trying to hand my bags to the previous customer because as I was going through my wallet, I heard the cashier girl say "Oh, those are his"...but then she quickly stopped and corrected herself..."Er, I mean hers".

 

"Hers"??!?!?

 

There was nobody else around she could've been talking about except me. My heart just about leapt out of my chest and I was just on cloud nine all the way out to the car, like I'd just won the lottery or something. Of course, all of a sudden I couldn't bring myself to use my voice any more than absolutely necessary. Instant voice dysphoria, but you know what, in this case, I'll take it!

 

@ElizabethStar OMG, congrats so much on all that validation!!! ?  And also on your birthday, too! ?

 

I may be technically "out" to my mom, but I still haven't felt like I'm at a point yet where I'd feel right asking her to switch pronouns for me. So I can imagine just how special getting a card like must be. So happy for you!!!

 

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It's great to hear those uplifting stories. Thank you for sharing :) 

 

@KymmieL You're in a rough place, but these pass too. Keep going and you'll get where you want to be.

 

My tea is delicious this morning. It must be the whack I gave yesterday to my insidious self-doubt. Feeling good today.

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"This is what you asked for"

 

I get a version of that..."this is what you wanted". If the mood is right I reply that it's what I needed. 

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Good Monday morning. well my Monday anyway. Up 20 min before my alarm was set. don't know why. Waiting on the coffee to brew.  hope today is fairly slow at the store.

 

Kymmie

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8 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

(I know I'm nerding myself out with this answer, and most won't get the reference, but...) Major Kusonagi has a way via advanced prosthetic shell, but you have to live in a futuristic cyberpunk fiction. Upside though, is you also get invisibility. I'm on the waiting list.

So what you're saying is that I can look like Scarlett Johansson.

 

8 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

In other news...I've now joined the trans-ranks and decided that face masks are seriously awesome :)

*chorus "One of us....One of us". Movie references pop in my head to often.

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Good morning ladies,

I think it's the because it's the depths of winter but I've been needing twice the coffee volume to get my day going lately.

Well, gotta get ready for a busy day at work.

Have a lovely day

Bri

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Good morning 

 

well hopefully you are having a better start to your day than I have.  My foot decided that 4am was a good time to wake me up, and wake me up it did!  It really did.  I slept through the time I should have taken it so my pain took an hour to react and during that hour it was easily a 10 out of 10.  Coming up on 8 am so time for the next dose.  
 

I will say my gray matter isn’t reacting well. Cant even read for any length of time.  So, I am going to sign out 

 

Willow

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10 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

For some reason I was compelled to check the mail today. Not surprising there was a birthday card from my mother. I just figured it was the normal everyday card but it wasn't. The first word I read, in a big scripted font was "Daughter". Right there in front of me, a card from my mother, to her daughter. Honestly I didn't really know if my mother would ever truly accept me. Now...I do. I really wanted to cry (not in front of the wife) but I will cherish that card forever.

 

Ahem. SQUEEE!

 

I am so very happy for you! That's GREAT news!

 

12 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Still no word on the job front. No call back on the evidence specialist and no call for an interview for the analyst position. I am starting to get disheartened. I know I can't. I guess I will keep plugging along. On day at a time.

 

Try not to get disheartened. There's roughly ten million qualified candidates for every job outside food service, Walmart or temporary employment in this country. Getting a good job is HARD. I've been looking for, oh, about ten years now. Since my last employer went out of business. Still no luck. You'll get it. It just takes a ton of patience. Especially for us older gals.

 

9 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

(I know I'm nerding myself out with this answer, and most won't get the reference, but...) Major Kusonagi has a way via advanced prosthetic shell, but you have to live in a futuristic cyberpunk fiction. Upside though, is you also get invisibility. I'm on the waiting list.

 

You only get the invisibility if you're naked though. I'm not sure that works for me. You've also got to deal with those creepy spider/kid AIs.

 

Hugs!

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It's so wonderful to wake up and read these stories of affirmation this morning! @ElizabethStarand @Heather Nicole, I'm really happy for you both. Moments like these are so important and keep us in a positive and hopeful state of mind, and help us through the challenges along the way. I had a feel-good moment yesterday, when my electrologist's office called and left me a message about my appointment on Monday ("this message is for Audrey confirming her appointment for Monday, Jan. 18"). Ever since I started working with them, they've been wonderfully validating and haven't missed a beat with my name or pronouns.

p.s. the "This is what you asked for" comment. There's so much to unpack there, it's making my head spin.

 

I slept well last night, and feel super rested this morning. I must have really needed it after the exhausting week I had. Today I really want to get to the second closet and clean it out, but if I'm being honest with myself, my motivation is low at the moment so it probably won't happen. Instead, I'm sipping coffee and thinking about painting my nails. That's one thing my partner doesn't mind, if I use her nail polish. Looking through the colors, she has a shade called "first kiss" that's a cream color but is also subtly pink, I think I'll wear that one!

 

Oh, and about my magic wand - I think I broke it. One too many Patronus Charms, probably. I need a replacement!

Everyone have a fabulous day!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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Good morning all.  It's been a very very long weeks.  Happy belated birthday @ElizabethStar.  Sounds like you had a pretty good day.  

@Willowhope your foot starts feeling better  quickly. 

 

This past week was a busy week teaching 8 newly hired employees all the basics of their new job. I was in early each day and out late. Had to be my guy self the whole time.  It was very hard on me.  Almost outed myself a few times.  I'm not ready to be out yet at work.  I know that will be a very tough thing to go through and my current position demands I am the guys guy that can be part of everyone's friend circle. 

 

10 days till I get a follow-up about blood tests and hopefully be able to start hrt.  Seems like time has been dragging between appointments. 

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      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
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