Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

14 hours ago, Willow said:

@ElizabethStar @KymmieL @Lexa83   Liz I think that is great the progress made at your wife’s birthday.  I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

Wow I'm so sorry. I'm sure I will face a similar fate.

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2012

  • KymmieL

    1637

  • Mmindy

    1357

  • Ivy

    1172

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Make sure you find a counselor that works for both of you. You don't need a counselor that's going to gang up on you with her. Ask me how I know. ?

 

Hugs!

That is my fear if I let her choose the counselor 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

That is my fear if I let her choose the counselor 

Ideally, she would have her own counselor, you would have yours and a 3rd would do couples work with you all.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Ideally, she would have her own counselor, you would have yours and a 3rd would do couples work with you all.

??

Link to comment
On 3/7/2021 at 2:28 AM, QuestioningAmber said:

 

*sips coffee*

Good morning all, I know it’s been a while since I posted. I thought I would say hello and check in. I have been busy at work, but that has dropped off the face of the Earth again, so now slowness has started again. I decided to add in a new therapist that specializes in supporting those with Gender Identity concerns, which would be great except my emotional life has been shaken on its head. I have come to realize some of my emotional issues are triggered by my “parents” and their lack of interest in my life, even before the discussion of transition and the years of neglect and possible abuse. This has kind of destabilized me again, along with increasing the estrogen about a month and half ago.

*sips coffee*

I am just trying to stay afloat I guess right now, which is partially why I took a step back. We are trying to work through the trauma of the neglect and various events, while also keeping me out of the hospital, as we don’t feel like that would be a safe place for me (it would be non-gender affirming and also with COVID, just seems like a poor choice).

*sips coffee*

So yeah, that’s what has been going on. I am trying to work on a plan to start up a local LGBTQ+ Social Group, because there isn’t one that already exists, and I think something like this would be really nice for a place where I can find like minded individuals to do board game nights, coffee hour, and other social things without it being just solely about support groups. That at least is the pie in the sky dream with it.

 

? its lonely being trans.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

? its lonely being trans.

 

It's lonely being ANYBODY right now. I just want to hibernate for a month or three. Preferably while glommed onto my spouse like a tick.

 

Exhausted this morning for no good reason. Imma take a nap. ?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

It's lonely being ANYBODY right now. I just want to hibernate for a month or three. Preferably while glommed onto my spouse like a tick.

 

Exhausted this morning for no good reason. Imma take a nap. ?

 

Hugs!

I hear that but I have to work.?

Link to comment
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

its lonely being trans.

It does feel like it can be isolating at times. I had a tough therapy session yesterday in which we talked a lot about transition planning. One thing he did notice and say is a concern is I don't have much in the way of affirmative support in my life. I have a few people who are more passive, where they accept me for me, but not a lot of people who boost my self-esteem or help me build self-worth with the nice statements commenting on what I am wearing when I try to wear something cute. His concern is that without this positive support, I won't have the support to outweigh the negative detractors to me when I am out in public or starting to transition at work.

 

I have been kicking around the idea of starting a Queer Social Group locally, but I do partially feel like I am in a chicken and egg problem. I need to have confidence to start the group because there will be people who say negative things, but I need a group of people to help support me to back up my confidence.

 

This is when my mental health begins to suffer because I don't see a way out (or it is because my mental health, not sure which to be honest).

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

It's lonely being ANYBODY right now.

Indeed.

I hope when I get my second dose of the vax I'll be able to get out and about more.  We'll see.

 

Just found out my ex son-in-law passed.  He was suffering with a brain tumor for years.  I always liked him.  I kinda feel their split was due more to my daughter than him, but…

They have one child, my granddaughter, about 7 now.  She loved her daddy.

Sigh.

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, QuestioningAmber said:

It does feel like it can be isolating at times. I had a tough therapy session yesterday in which we talked a lot about transition planning. One thing he did notice and say is a concern is I don't have much in the way of affirmative support in my life. I have a few people who are more passive, where they accept me for me, but not a lot of people who boost my self-esteem or help me build self-worth with the nice statements commenting on what I am wearing when I try to wear something cute. His concern is that without this positive support, I won't have the support to outweigh the negative detractors to me when I am out in public or starting to transition at work.

 

I have been kicking around the idea of starting a Queer Social Group locally, but I do partially feel like I am in a chicken and egg problem. I need to have confidence to start the group because there will be people who say negative things, but I need a group of people to help support me to back up my confidence.

 

This is when my mental health begins to suffer because I don't see a way out (or it is because my mental health, not sure which to be honest).

I only have one cis girlfriend who loves and accepts me. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jandi said:

Indeed.

I hope when I get my second dose of the vax I'll be able to get out and about more.  We'll see.

 

Just found out my ex son-in-law passed.  He was suffering with a brain tumor for years.  I always liked him.  I kinda feel their split was due more to my daughter than him, but…

They have one child, my granddaughter, about 7 now.  She loved her daddy.

Sigh.

 

?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

I only have one cis girlfriend who loves and accepts me. 

 

For now.

 

Personally, I've found that as I transitioned and love myself more, I attract more supportive friends. My circle of friends is at least twice as large as it was before I started... which makes sense, I'm much more pleasant to be around... and I only attract positive people. Which also makes sense, because I've become a positive and supportive person myself.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

For now.

 

Personally, I've found that as I transitioned and love myself more, I attract more supportive friends. My circle of friends is at least twice as large as it was before I started... which makes sense, I'm much more pleasant to be around... and I only attract positive people. Which also makes sense, because I've become a positive and supportive person myself.

 

Hugs!

?

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

For now.

 

Personally, I've found that as I transitioned and love myself more, I attract more supportive friends. My circle of friends is at least twice as large as it was before I started... which makes sense, I'm much more pleasant to be around... and I only attract positive people. Which also makes sense, because I've become a positive and supportive person myself.

 

Hugs!

I find even in the little things, growing out my hair, piercing my ears etc. I am a bit happier.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, QuestioningAmber said:

 

I have been kicking around the idea of starting a Queer Social Group locally, but I do partially feel like I am in a chicken and egg problem. I need to have confidence to start the group because there will be people who say negative things, but I need a group of people to help support me to back up my confidence.

 

This is when my mental health begins to suffer because I don't see a way out (or it is because my mental health, not sure which to be honest).

The UU church in Columbus has LGBT group. Contact them about facilitating or just asking if they do any kind of TG support/fellowship.  The UU church pastor in my area is actually trans and leads support groups.  

Screen Shot 2021-03-09 at 10.13.26 AM.png

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

? its lonely being trans.

Yeah, even in your own home. So it started when my wife came to get the computer to use for her AA meeting. Then my son shows up He leaves in a huff. Then the texts start. My wife is going to bring home boxes to start packing. I messaged back don't bother I am the one moving. Then my son calls I'm busy so it goes to voice mail. He leaves me a vulgar voice mail. I finally ask the boss if I can head home because the SHTF. I get home my wife is on the phone with her AA friend (the more liberal one) I wait patently. My son is on the phone to a friends mom. 

 

Me and my son go at it. almost a cat fight. My wife is POed about me bringing up the past. Her 3 alcohol  related incidents. We finally calm do Actually joke a little. I go back to work.

 

Kymmie

 

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Yeah, even in your own home. So it started when my wife came to get the computer to use for her AA meeting. Then my son shows up He leaves in a huff. Then the texts start. My wife is going to bring home boxes to start packing. I messaged back don't bother I am the one moving. Then my son calls I'm busy so it goes to voice mail. He leaves me a vulgar voice mail. I finally ask the boss if I can head home because the SHTF. I get home my wife is on the phone with her AA friend (the more liberal one) I wait patently. My son is on the phone to a friends mom. 

 

Me and my son go at it. almost a cat fight. My wife is POed about me bringing up the past. Her 3 alcohol  related incidents. We finally calm do Actually joke a little. I go back to work.

 

Kymmie

 

 

?

Link to comment

@Bri2020 Thanks for the info, I will reach out to see what they offer as far as Groups. I know I am hoping to find more of a social group because that's how I ease my anxiety in the form of playing games and things like that. I will see maybe if they hold a support group or something like that because I have found typically those don't hurt me to have more of (I know a local Medical Provider Equitas holds one, as well as one other).

Link to comment
1 hour ago, QuestioningAmber said:

@Bri2020 Thanks for the info, I will reach out to see what they offer as far as Groups. I know I am hoping to find more of a social group because that's how I ease my anxiety in the form of playing games and things like that. I will see maybe if they hold a support group or something like that because I have found typically those don't hurt me to have more of (I know a local Medical Provider Equitas holds one, as well as one other).

Ours in the area usually have a "speaker" at the group/meeting, more often than not someone from the group that presents a topic and then a "social" afterwards

Link to comment
2 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

I have been kicking around the idea of starting a Queer Social Group locally, but I do partially feel like I am in a chicken and egg problem. I need to have confidence to start the group because there will be people who say negative things, but I need a group of people to help support me to back up my confidence.

 

Often, queer groups guard their publicity and meetings, for safety and security reasons, and figure out how and when to be public facing. For example, our church hosted a city wide trans chorus for weekly rehearsals for some years. The church didn't list it in its public bulletin of activities, but plenty of LGBTQ publications did.  In appreciation for our space, the chorus then performed at one of our Sunday morning services for everyone, to the delight of all.  

 

For Zoom meetings of any kind, we use a waiting room, so that the host can screen anyone unfamiliar before admitting them.  This eliminates issues with "Zoom bombing" from unfriendly/hostile individuals.

 

In these ways, we can isolate negative folks while, as you say so well, keeping the group of supporters to back up your confidence.  

 

I applaud your thinking about doing this.  Tangible support is vital for so many of us!

 

Astrid

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Willow& @KymmieL 

 

I’m sorry you had such negative experiences with family. 

 

Like everyone else I can’t wait for this pandemic to be over and in our past. My Suzie got to visit with our daughter and two youngest grandchildren yesterday evening. That’s a break through because our daughter has been deep underground hiding from COVID.

 

 I’m on a road trip to teach for Hilton Head Fire Department this week. 

 

Hugs (masked) 

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@QuestioningAmber I applaud your efforts and recognizing your own self so well and knowing and DOING - to move beyond your fears and issues and taking control of your own destiny. HUGS.

Link to comment

We humans are surely social creatures. I agree with Vicky, this COVID isolation affects us all. I see it in my family, sometimes just getting them out for a walk seems to help a bit.

 

Hugs,

Delcina

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   10 Members, 0 Anonymous, 121 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • MaeBe
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Petra Jane
    • April Marie
    • Jet McCartney
    • VickySGV
    • Delaney
    • Ivy
    • Adrianna Danielle
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,023
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Delaney
    Newest Member
    Delaney
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      No.  You are getting stuck on one statement and pulling it out of context.   Trans kids have rights, but so do non-trans kids.  That conflict is best worked out in the individual situation. 
    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
    • April Marie
      You look wonderful!!! A rose among the roses.
    • Ashley0616
      Mine would be SHEIN as much as I have bought from them lol.
    • MaeBe
      This is the persistence in thinking of trans girls as predators and, as if, they are the only kind of predation that happens in locker rooms. This is strikingly close to the dangerous myth that anatomy corresponds with sexuality and equates to gender.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      At the same time there might be mtf boys who transitioned post-puberty who really belong on the girls' teams because they have more similarities there than with the boys, would perform at the same level, and might get injured playing with the bigger, stronger boys.   I well remember being an androgynous shrimp in gym class that I shared with seniors who played on the football team.  When PE was no longer mandatory, I was no longer in PE. They started some mixed PE classes the second semester, where we played volleyball and learned bowling and no longer mixed with those seniors, boys and girls together.
    • Timi
      Leggings and gym shorts, sweatshirt, Handker wild rag. Listening to new Taylor Swift album while strolling through the rose garden in the park. 
    • Ivy
      Grey short sleeved dress under a beige pinafore-type dress.  Black thigh highs (probably look like tights).  It was cool this morning so a light black colored sweater.  
    • Abigail Genevieve
      People love bureaucracy.  It makes everything cut and dried, black and white, and often unjust, unmerciful, wasteful and downright stupid.
    • Ivy
      This is why a blanket policy can never be fair.  Everything is not black and white.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...