Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

14 hours ago, Willow said:

@ElizabethStar @KymmieL @Lexa83   Liz I think that is great the progress made at your wife’s birthday.  I thought my wife and I were moving in that direction too.  Signs and conversations were seeming to go in that direction.  Then this weekend hit.  First, she got upset because I changed for bed in front of her.  Then Saturday more SHTF.  I’ll never be ok, I’ve told you that!  I can’t look at you anymore.  And more.  This continued Sunday when I told her I wasn’t going to church.  We talked a lot on Sunday and today.  Things are better but this was my worst weekend in a long time.  Depression. Crying, fighting...  the whole gambit.

 

She did apologize.  I said it would be better for me if she didn’t suggest she was doing better about me and then explode.  She said sometimes she thought it be easier if I was full time but I pointed out I wasn’t because she didn’t want me out full time.

 

very difficult time.

 

Willow

Wow I'm so sorry. I'm sure I will face a similar fate.

Link to comment
  • Replies 23k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2006

  • KymmieL

    1634

  • Mmindy

    1349

  • Ivy

    1168

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Make sure you find a counselor that works for both of you. You don't need a counselor that's going to gang up on you with her. Ask me how I know. ?

 

Hugs!

That is my fear if I let her choose the counselor 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

That is my fear if I let her choose the counselor 

Ideally, she would have her own counselor, you would have yours and a 3rd would do couples work with you all.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Ideally, she would have her own counselor, you would have yours and a 3rd would do couples work with you all.

??

Link to comment
On 3/7/2021 at 2:28 AM, QuestioningAmber said:

 

*sips coffee*

Good morning all, I know it’s been a while since I posted. I thought I would say hello and check in. I have been busy at work, but that has dropped off the face of the Earth again, so now slowness has started again. I decided to add in a new therapist that specializes in supporting those with Gender Identity concerns, which would be great except my emotional life has been shaken on its head. I have come to realize some of my emotional issues are triggered by my “parents” and their lack of interest in my life, even before the discussion of transition and the years of neglect and possible abuse. This has kind of destabilized me again, along with increasing the estrogen about a month and half ago.

*sips coffee*

I am just trying to stay afloat I guess right now, which is partially why I took a step back. We are trying to work through the trauma of the neglect and various events, while also keeping me out of the hospital, as we don’t feel like that would be a safe place for me (it would be non-gender affirming and also with COVID, just seems like a poor choice).

*sips coffee*

So yeah, that’s what has been going on. I am trying to work on a plan to start up a local LGBTQ+ Social Group, because there isn’t one that already exists, and I think something like this would be really nice for a place where I can find like minded individuals to do board game nights, coffee hour, and other social things without it being just solely about support groups. That at least is the pie in the sky dream with it.

 

? its lonely being trans.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

? its lonely being trans.

 

It's lonely being ANYBODY right now. I just want to hibernate for a month or three. Preferably while glommed onto my spouse like a tick.

 

Exhausted this morning for no good reason. Imma take a nap. ?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

It's lonely being ANYBODY right now. I just want to hibernate for a month or three. Preferably while glommed onto my spouse like a tick.

 

Exhausted this morning for no good reason. Imma take a nap. ?

 

Hugs!

I hear that but I have to work.?

Link to comment
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

its lonely being trans.

It does feel like it can be isolating at times. I had a tough therapy session yesterday in which we talked a lot about transition planning. One thing he did notice and say is a concern is I don't have much in the way of affirmative support in my life. I have a few people who are more passive, where they accept me for me, but not a lot of people who boost my self-esteem or help me build self-worth with the nice statements commenting on what I am wearing when I try to wear something cute. His concern is that without this positive support, I won't have the support to outweigh the negative detractors to me when I am out in public or starting to transition at work.

 

I have been kicking around the idea of starting a Queer Social Group locally, but I do partially feel like I am in a chicken and egg problem. I need to have confidence to start the group because there will be people who say negative things, but I need a group of people to help support me to back up my confidence.

 

This is when my mental health begins to suffer because I don't see a way out (or it is because my mental health, not sure which to be honest).

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

It's lonely being ANYBODY right now.

Indeed.

I hope when I get my second dose of the vax I'll be able to get out and about more.  We'll see.

 

Just found out my ex son-in-law passed.  He was suffering with a brain tumor for years.  I always liked him.  I kinda feel their split was due more to my daughter than him, but…

They have one child, my granddaughter, about 7 now.  She loved her daddy.

Sigh.

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, QuestioningAmber said:

It does feel like it can be isolating at times. I had a tough therapy session yesterday in which we talked a lot about transition planning. One thing he did notice and say is a concern is I don't have much in the way of affirmative support in my life. I have a few people who are more passive, where they accept me for me, but not a lot of people who boost my self-esteem or help me build self-worth with the nice statements commenting on what I am wearing when I try to wear something cute. His concern is that without this positive support, I won't have the support to outweigh the negative detractors to me when I am out in public or starting to transition at work.

 

I have been kicking around the idea of starting a Queer Social Group locally, but I do partially feel like I am in a chicken and egg problem. I need to have confidence to start the group because there will be people who say negative things, but I need a group of people to help support me to back up my confidence.

 

This is when my mental health begins to suffer because I don't see a way out (or it is because my mental health, not sure which to be honest).

I only have one cis girlfriend who loves and accepts me. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jandi said:

Indeed.

I hope when I get my second dose of the vax I'll be able to get out and about more.  We'll see.

 

Just found out my ex son-in-law passed.  He was suffering with a brain tumor for years.  I always liked him.  I kinda feel their split was due more to my daughter than him, but…

They have one child, my granddaughter, about 7 now.  She loved her daddy.

Sigh.

 

?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

I only have one cis girlfriend who loves and accepts me. 

 

For now.

 

Personally, I've found that as I transitioned and love myself more, I attract more supportive friends. My circle of friends is at least twice as large as it was before I started... which makes sense, I'm much more pleasant to be around... and I only attract positive people. Which also makes sense, because I've become a positive and supportive person myself.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

For now.

 

Personally, I've found that as I transitioned and love myself more, I attract more supportive friends. My circle of friends is at least twice as large as it was before I started... which makes sense, I'm much more pleasant to be around... and I only attract positive people. Which also makes sense, because I've become a positive and supportive person myself.

 

Hugs!

?

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

For now.

 

Personally, I've found that as I transitioned and love myself more, I attract more supportive friends. My circle of friends is at least twice as large as it was before I started... which makes sense, I'm much more pleasant to be around... and I only attract positive people. Which also makes sense, because I've become a positive and supportive person myself.

 

Hugs!

I find even in the little things, growing out my hair, piercing my ears etc. I am a bit happier.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, QuestioningAmber said:

 

I have been kicking around the idea of starting a Queer Social Group locally, but I do partially feel like I am in a chicken and egg problem. I need to have confidence to start the group because there will be people who say negative things, but I need a group of people to help support me to back up my confidence.

 

This is when my mental health begins to suffer because I don't see a way out (or it is because my mental health, not sure which to be honest).

The UU church in Columbus has LGBT group. Contact them about facilitating or just asking if they do any kind of TG support/fellowship.  The UU church pastor in my area is actually trans and leads support groups.  

Screen Shot 2021-03-09 at 10.13.26 AM.png

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, SheenaT said:

? its lonely being trans.

Yeah, even in your own home. So it started when my wife came to get the computer to use for her AA meeting. Then my son shows up He leaves in a huff. Then the texts start. My wife is going to bring home boxes to start packing. I messaged back don't bother I am the one moving. Then my son calls I'm busy so it goes to voice mail. He leaves me a vulgar voice mail. I finally ask the boss if I can head home because the SHTF. I get home my wife is on the phone with her AA friend (the more liberal one) I wait patently. My son is on the phone to a friends mom. 

 

Me and my son go at it. almost a cat fight. My wife is POed about me bringing up the past. Her 3 alcohol  related incidents. We finally calm do Actually joke a little. I go back to work.

 

Kymmie

 

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Yeah, even in your own home. So it started when my wife came to get the computer to use for her AA meeting. Then my son shows up He leaves in a huff. Then the texts start. My wife is going to bring home boxes to start packing. I messaged back don't bother I am the one moving. Then my son calls I'm busy so it goes to voice mail. He leaves me a vulgar voice mail. I finally ask the boss if I can head home because the SHTF. I get home my wife is on the phone with her AA friend (the more liberal one) I wait patently. My son is on the phone to a friends mom. 

 

Me and my son go at it. almost a cat fight. My wife is POed about me bringing up the past. Her 3 alcohol  related incidents. We finally calm do Actually joke a little. I go back to work.

 

Kymmie

 

 

?

Link to comment

@Bri2020 Thanks for the info, I will reach out to see what they offer as far as Groups. I know I am hoping to find more of a social group because that's how I ease my anxiety in the form of playing games and things like that. I will see maybe if they hold a support group or something like that because I have found typically those don't hurt me to have more of (I know a local Medical Provider Equitas holds one, as well as one other).

Link to comment
1 hour ago, QuestioningAmber said:

@Bri2020 Thanks for the info, I will reach out to see what they offer as far as Groups. I know I am hoping to find more of a social group because that's how I ease my anxiety in the form of playing games and things like that. I will see maybe if they hold a support group or something like that because I have found typically those don't hurt me to have more of (I know a local Medical Provider Equitas holds one, as well as one other).

Ours in the area usually have a "speaker" at the group/meeting, more often than not someone from the group that presents a topic and then a "social" afterwards

Link to comment
2 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

I have been kicking around the idea of starting a Queer Social Group locally, but I do partially feel like I am in a chicken and egg problem. I need to have confidence to start the group because there will be people who say negative things, but I need a group of people to help support me to back up my confidence.

 

Often, queer groups guard their publicity and meetings, for safety and security reasons, and figure out how and when to be public facing. For example, our church hosted a city wide trans chorus for weekly rehearsals for some years. The church didn't list it in its public bulletin of activities, but plenty of LGBTQ publications did.  In appreciation for our space, the chorus then performed at one of our Sunday morning services for everyone, to the delight of all.  

 

For Zoom meetings of any kind, we use a waiting room, so that the host can screen anyone unfamiliar before admitting them.  This eliminates issues with "Zoom bombing" from unfriendly/hostile individuals.

 

In these ways, we can isolate negative folks while, as you say so well, keeping the group of supporters to back up your confidence.  

 

I applaud your thinking about doing this.  Tangible support is vital for so many of us!

 

Astrid

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Willow& @KymmieL 

 

I’m sorry you had such negative experiences with family. 

 

Like everyone else I can’t wait for this pandemic to be over and in our past. My Suzie got to visit with our daughter and two youngest grandchildren yesterday evening. That’s a break through because our daughter has been deep underground hiding from COVID.

 

 I’m on a road trip to teach for Hilton Head Fire Department this week. 

 

Hugs (masked) 

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@QuestioningAmber I applaud your efforts and recognizing your own self so well and knowing and DOING - to move beyond your fears and issues and taking control of your own destiny. HUGS.

Link to comment

We humans are surely social creatures. I agree with Vicky, this COVID isolation affects us all. I see it in my family, sometimes just getting them out for a walk seems to help a bit.

 

Hugs,

Delcina

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 120 Guests (See full list)

    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.8k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,011
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Zoe Denise
    Newest Member
    Zoe Denise
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. 777fleetleader777
      777fleetleader777
      (21 years old)
    2. ArinHallm3
      ArinHallm3
      (18 years old)
    3. ITakMyTime
      ITakMyTime
      (70 years old)
    4. Jess31
      Jess31
      (40 years old)
    5. Natalie71645
      Natalie71645
      (39 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mirrabooka
      I still do. 😉
    • Mirrabooka
      So do I! You look terrific, @MaeBe!
    • MaeBe
      Aww, shucks! Thank you, @Ashley0616 and @Timi! I find taking a picture of myself so difficult. 
    • Timi
    • Ashley0616
      You're pretty! It's nice to see a face.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm very glad that everything worked out even better than you thought. It's a tough spot to be in and I know the exact feelings. I'm still waiting to apply for divorce under abandonment so I officially can meet someone who one day I can call someone my prince or my queen. Although the desire for someone is fading because of everything. it's even more amazing that she was your high school sweetheart! Looking forward to the next entry.
    • Ivy
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been a good long day for me.Got everything done I worked on.Been getting customers that want me to work on their trucks only and my boss is cool about it.A construction company,seen I do good work and do not leave a grease mark in the interior.I keep tub o towels on my tool box.Had a good supper when I got home,a grilled pork steak with a potatoe and green beans
    • Betty K
      Awww thanks for listening everyone. I have another 5-6 songs in this style that I started recording at the same time, so hopefully I’ll finish the next release soon.   Yes, exactly. Everything was easier about this project, mainly because it felt authentic. The energy was very different, because it was such a pleasure to express myself without a filter. I laughed a lot. 
    • Betty K
      Thanks for listening @Mmindy.   You’re welcome @April Marie. I think Sally Can’t Dance is an underrated album.
    • KymmieL
      Well I had an interview with the local Ford Dealership for an opening in the parts dept. It sounded positive. I was told I would here by tomorrow morning.    Other than that just sticking around the house. I haven't done much, the weather is cold and yucky. Doesn't look like good weather till Sunday. Maybe tomorrow I'll fire up the heater in the garage and see about getting the other brake hose put on the Explorer.   Have a good rest of your day/evening.   Hugs, Kymmie
    • MaeBe
      Maybe they called me he/him at the dealership because I completely forgot my mascara! Eyeliner without mascara…a bold new trend among the helplessly lost! :)   Fixed that! 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Ah. Email from Gibson. [it was actually less legible than this, as he didn't use punctuation, it was all caps, and he ran all his words together. Taylor was used to it.   T - As everyone was under my super. this last year, don't worry about the evals. I will handle it. Send all email about new proposals to me, your unit handles work under way.  You will be involved but the first step is those go to me. Thanks   Here is an outline of what questions I want to see answered tomorrow.  Feel free to just jot down your thoughts.  If you don't know, say so and maybe point to how we can find that out............   Your new position will seem very challenging for a while but I am sure you can handle it.  Everyone has the utmost confidence in you.   PS your performance evaluation will be stellar, as reflected in your new position and compensation.  You get 100. One less thing to worry about.   Taylor sent him 45 emails right after that, gave some thought to the questions, and then had to turn to one of the proposals under way and review it.  That done, she read through the personnel files on her people so she would better understand them and what they could do. There was a very thin folder with her name on it.  It had one piece of paper on it. On it was written "the best!".  The others were thicker but didn't take long either, and she returned to answering the questions.   
    • Sally Stone
      Post 5 “Coming out to My Significant Other”   My wife and I were high school sweethearts and after 40 plus years of marriage we are still soulmates.  Yes, I consider myself lucky, but we also worked hard to stay sweethearts, and my transgender nature was one of the things that required a lot of hard work to reconcile.    Back when I realized she was the girl I was going to marry, I was still struggling with gender identity, and up to that point I had kept this guarded secret from her.  I wondered how I was going to tell her, and I pondered the timing.  I had already decided she needed to know before I would feel comfortable asking her to marry me.  I was absolutely terrified that when she learned about my gender identity issues, it would scare her off.  Despite my deep concern, I just knew in my heart, I couldn’t keep the truth from her.   In my case, I never thought a relationship with a girl, or marriage to a girl would somehow cure my gender dysphoria.  In fact, the blossoming of our relationship didn’t mute or minimize my gender confusion one bit, so my desire to keep dressing like a girl remained strong.  I actually considered not telling her at all, but I already knew this wasn’t a passing phase, so kicking the proverbial can down the road didn’t make sense to me.    Since I was committed to revealing my secret, I pondered how to initiate the conversation?  Obviously, I would tell her that I enjoyed dressing and looking like a girl, so part of the conversation would be about crossdressing.  The fact that I cross-dressed was the easier part of the conversation and it would make clear to her what I was doing, but the harder part would be explaining why; because, at that time in my life, I had no idea why I was feeling like I was a girl.  Still, I felt a partial explanation was better than none at all and if she could accept the crossdressing part initially, maybe she and I could explore the deeper meaning, together.    Telling my fiancé I was a crossdresser seemed the simplest explanation at the time.  All that remained was the timing and this is when a situation arose that I hoped would be the perfect setup for my big reveal.  She and I were going to a friend’s party, and on the weekend it was to take place, my fiancé’s parents were out of town.  I casually mentioned that I thought it would be a “goof” to show up at the party dressed like a girl.  Much to my joy and surprise, she thought it was a super idea.  In fact, her enthusiasm for the idea was more than I could have hoped for.  With her parents out of town, we had her house to use for my transformation.    At the time, I had my own stash of girl’s clothing, but admitting to this would have revealed too much.  Besides, she had already started planning my wardrobe for me and I was certain her efforts would be much better than anything my feeble stash might result in.  I couldn’t have been more correct and after she dressed me and did my makeup, I looked more like a girl than I ever had before.  In fact, my new appearance was so striking, I could barely contain my joy.  Of course, this was supposed to be a “goof” so, I did my level best to hide the excitement I was feeling inside.  While I was elated being dressed and out in public, I was absolutely terrified at the same time.  Consequently, showing up at the party was a lot more difficult for me than I had imagined.  Ultimately, everyone got a big kick out of me, and that did help to relax me a little.  However, I had vowed to come clean to my fiancé at some point during the evening, so I remained uncomfortably anxious.   Later, and after a few drinks, I had mustered up the courage to reveal my secret to my future wife.  I pulled her aside and had her follow me to a quiet room upstairs.  Alone together, I began trying to explain my feelings, which as I recall revolved mostly around my desire to dress like a girl.  I did tell her my feelings were more complex, but I think she latched onto the fact that I was a guy who enjoyed looking like a girl on occasion.  I was extremely emotional as we talked, but she comforted me and told me it didn’t change her feelings for me.   I have to say having that conversation with my fiancé that night was the best decision I ever made.  It ensured we would face the future together without secrets or deceit. I know it strengthened our relationship. Of course, my wife really didn’t have any idea what she was signing up for when she agreed to support my transgender nature.  It would be like riding a roller coaster, lots of ups and quite a few downs, but the fact that she knew about me before we got married, made the ride a lot smoother than it could have been.   Hugs,   Sally
    • Maddee
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...