Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

Wow, there must be a full moon. I'm sorry to hear about all the pain recently. I hope it gets better. I've been going through horrible experiences yesterday and the night before myself. Hopefully the nightmare has subsided now. I have an abusive 45 yr old son and his wife and 3 adult children living with us. The night before last my wife was upset with me and called our daughter in law for support. I was on computer in other room. I heard a bunch of noise in the hallway. I went to see. There my wife was almost hysterical and crying. Almost fainting. My son had boxed up a bunch of sex toys that I had hidden above bathroom ceiling and threw it in front of my wife to show her how bad I am. I have been abusive to myself in the past, but since coming out I've stopped all that. I would have beaten the crap out of my son for doing that to my wife, but she blocked me from doing it. My wife had known about a little of what I had but mostly not. I was already going to get rid of that stuff, so I Bagged up everything and threw it away just before garbage truck came the next morning. Later in the morning I had to take my wife to the hospital because of a pancreas flareup brought on by stress I believe. She was already battling this but now it's worse. Later in the day after I got my wife back home and settled into bed, I went to talk to my son and his wife about this. I calmly said to them that we need to talk about what happened the night before. My son immediately blew up and said a lot of vile and hurtful things to me. I told him he owed my wife an apology and yeah, I had problems and I'm getting help. He jumped up and stood right up next to me goading me to hit him so he could call the cops. He said a bunch more vile things to me while his wife was yelling at him to stop. She also said to him, "That's not how it's done." I really hope she wasn't referring to a sinister plan against me. I told them they should move out. My wife came downstairs and pleaded with me to come upstairs with her, which I did. It was a long night with little sleep. When we woke up she asked me to stay away from them for a few days and she will talk to our son then. I reluctantly agreed. I am really concerned about this. My son is a recovering alcoholic who always got violent at a certain stage. When he was younger he threatened to kill my wife and tried to stab me with a knife. I slept with our bedroom door locked and a gun under my pillow for a year. The last time he got violent here, he tried to choke his wife to death. My 24 yr old grandson pulled him off of her and I helped hold him down for a couple hours till he settled down. Later he tried to attack my grandson. My grandson punched him knocking him out, and left him laying on our kitchen floor for about 4 hours. This was a couple years ago. He's been sober since. My son and his wife are both disabled, and cannot afford to live on their own. I actually have to give them $200 a week for their methadone treatments because they got hooked on heroin and spent 2 years in prison because of it. I'm in a tough spot. I know something needs to be done, but my wife won't let it happen. 

 

Sorry about this being so long. I had to tell someone.

 

I will be off the comp. till later. Pray for the nightmare to end please.

 

Jamie

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2013

  • KymmieL

    1637

  • Mmindy

    1357

  • Ivy

    1173

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Pray for the nightmare to end please.

I'm so sorry.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Pray for the nightmare to end please.

 

Wow. I have no words sweetie. Is there somebody you can call for help? You and your wife shouldn't have to deal with that... at all really, but you especially shouldn't have to deal with that alone.

 

Blessings of the Goddess upon you and your house.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

@jamie68 So sorry for what you are going through. What we deal with everyday is hard enough, let alone all of this stuff. Be strong I hope things calm down for you. Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Tasha Marie said:

I guess I should proof read what I send I can’t spell anyway, missing words. Opps

 

Really? It looks fine to me.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Tasha Marie said:

I can’t spell anyway,

You're not alone with this- LOL

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Jandi said:

You're not alone with this- LOL

 

That's why we have spell-check. Spell-check is your friend. Also dictionary.com if I'm stumped.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

That's why we have spell-check. Spell-check is your friend.

Sometimes spell-check can't even figure out what I'm saying.  I end up using a thesaurus to look for the word I want… sheesh.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Jandi said:

I end up using a thesaurus to look for the word I want… sheesh.

 

My favorite dinosaur!

 

I own a thesaurus that's older than some of my friends.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

I've seen some suggestions that this might be a form of dyslexia, which is somewhat common in certain groups.

Link to comment

I hate to butt in but it was tax day for me. Have you ever noticed that when they smile at you

and push that dreaded package towards your trembling hands.....YOUR SCREWED......

Well I really wasn't screwed, but I thought a jump scare was in order. 

So my coffee day was actually a pleasant one so far, but gosh the day is not over.

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

That's why we have spell-check. Spell-check is your friend. Also dictionary.com if I'm stumped.

Jackie, when someone looks at my Google Search History, it's all words I need to spell correctly. I know in many programs just pushing F7 will spell check, but my iPhone and iPad don't have F7.

 

Auto-correct is another issue for me. I sent my wife a text from one of my business trips that read:

 

"Having a great time, wish you were here"

 

She got: "Having a great time, wish you were her"

 

Joking it really didn't happen...

 

@Jamie68 I'm praying for you and wishing for you to see your way through this troubled time.

 

@Linda Marie I own my business, and Taxes are never a good thing for me. Even in retirement I'm still going to be taxed on some income streams.

 

Hugs for y'all,

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Oh, autocorrect is my bane. I was talking to my placement agent today for a new job while dilating. We were texting back and forth. I'm texting one handed because, well, I'm dilating. I don't have another hand right now. I'm lucky she didn't think I was having a stroke.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

I'm lucky she didn't think I was having a stroke.

I do okay texting with my right thumb, however with I text with my left thumb, I have a text impediment... I st stt sttutter.

 

Ha! I'll be here all night, Try the meatloaf.

 

Big hook pulls me from the stage.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

 

 

@Linda Marie I own my business, and Taxes are never a good thing for me. Even in retirement I'm still going to be taxed on some income streams.

 

Hugs for y'all,

 

Mindy???

Normally I'm in the same boat but with covid shutdowns I lost $174K this year at my clinic- I won't be paying taxes for about 5 years carrying that loss. lol

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

I won't be paying taxes for about 5 years carrying that loss. lol

Wow Bri, that would be a business closing event for us. I’m glad you are staying afloat, and can carry the loss forward. 

 

Hugs,

Link to comment

Thank you all for your support. My wife just wants me to talk to her only. She has always been a big enabler when it comes to our son. I talked a little bit with my oldest grandson of 27 yrs old who lives in town. That helped some. I've always been quick to temper, but I learned to control it years ago. A person can only stuff so much though. Eventually you have to let it out and deal with it.

 

Jamie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Coffee this morning came from one of those pod thingies.  I’ve never used one before; it made decent coffee.  Lest you think I have gone over to the dark side, the machine is in my hotel room.

 

I am in Montreal for a revision consultation with Dr. Brassard, later today.  I hope he can give me some hope for dealing with the ongoing pain and pressure, either an appointment for surgery or at least a diagnosis and assurance that it will heal on its own.  What I am afraid will happen is that he will give me the assurance without a diagnosis.  No diagnosis would mean that he had no idea what is going on.  I will find out later today.

 

It would be bad enough to have spent over $1000 and travelled from nice, relatively COVID-safe Nova Scotia to the Canadian epicentre of the virus for nothing.  But I really can’t imagine carrying on indefinitely with a clitoris that feels like a penis wrapped in duct tape.  Fingers crossed!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Best of luck @KathyLauren.  I have a friend who is overseas that has a similar issue that she is hoping to have resolved when she can travel to the US.  I hope the doctor can give you a good diagnosis and prognosis.  

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Remember speel chack is your feind.

 

Well since yesterday it has gotten really cool around here. The warmth I felt from my wife has gone out the window. I get maybe a dying ember. I am almost ready to start sleeping  in the spare room. Asked her this morning if the plans to go to my oldest son's for a visit is still a go. almost reluctantly she said yes. I think it is all over but the move out. Then this morning about 5 minutes after the wife's alarm went off. Our youngest came to our room to make sure my wife was up.

 

The district manager in Spokane will be talking to the store manager this week when he visits the store. SO I am hoping by Friday I will know something.

 

Does anyone know about marriage licenses?  We were married in Michigan. I looked at it and the pastor never signed it. and we never took it back to the county/city after the date. Could it be null and void?

I do know that being together for over 35 we still would be considered common law.

 

(Moderators if the above is too sensitive feel free to remove it.)

 

That is something to think about. Maybe I need to talk to a divorce lawyer about it. Good thing I have Law insurance through work. 

 

Then I could throw it in her face. Ha we were never legally married in the first place.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

 But I really can’t imagine carrying on indefinitely with a clitoris that feels like a penis wrapped in duct tape.  Fingers crossed!

ohhhh-that sounds miserable. Here's to hoping it is just residual swelling and just needs time.

Link to comment

 @KymmieLquick google search showed Wyoming requires normal divorce rules must be followed even if it is a "common law" marriage although Wyoming doesn't have Common law marriage in the state.  Good luck.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 209 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Ivy
    • MaryEllen
    • MaybeRob
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Mmindy
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   1 member

    • Mmindy

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alscully
      Alscully
      (35 years old)
    2. floruisse
      floruisse
      (40 years old)
    3. Jasmine25
      Jasmine25
      (22 years old)
    4. Trev0rK
      Trev0rK
      (26 years old)
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      I'm certain that there are some, if not many, but you would be hard pressed to find them willing to speak up on this forum.  There are many trans folk who are conservative, and believe that Biden's non-trans related policies are terrible.  Those include his economic, foreign policy, border security, and environmental policies.  I'm a lifelong Democrat, and even I don't like all of Biden's policies.  It comes down to who would do the most damage to the most people, and the most damage to America as a going democratic nation which has respect for the rule of law.   Carolyn Marie
    • MaeBe
      Thank you for continuing to share your story, Sally!   Willa sounded like a grand friend, I'm sorry for your loss. :(
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Not all conservatives are for Trump.  I am far from thrilled he is running.  Just wanted to make that clear.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Anybody willing to present the case for Trump? Any conservatives out there?
    • MaeBe
      Two words(?): Project 2025   Please provide links to the "political calculus" referred to, I'd be interested to know where this is coming from. It seems odd that anyone would be advocating to vote in a President that has stated that he will try to use the federal government to go after LGBTQ+ people because voting back Biden, that is not doing that, might cause some state legislatures to put forth more discriminatory laws.   LGBTQ+ people are not safe in a MAGA future.
    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...