Good morning All. Coffees on.

[KathyLauren]

1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

ohhhh-that sounds miserable. Here's to hoping it is just residual swelling and just needs time.

They said residual swelling could last up to a year.  Well, it has been 364 days, literally.  So I am ready for this to be over tomorrow!  If there is still swelling, there has to be some pathology causing it.  That’s what I am hoping to find out today.

 

@KymmieL, definitely a good idea to talk to a divorce lawyer.  I don’t recommend throwing anything in your wife’s face, though.  When the time comes, just move out quietly and give her the papers.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

That is something to think about. Maybe I need to talk to a divorce lawyer about it. Good thing I have Law insurance through work.

 

I'd talk to a divorce lawyer, but I don't think the pastor's signature is the important bit. The part that matters is that you filed with the state down at city hall (I think). Your pastor isn't really a representative of the state. Ours was also a bit of an ass, but you find that in every field and that's the family church my spouse wanted to get married in so... I've set foot in it like twice since. Both for family funerals.

 

Anyway, there's no need to get nasty about it. I understand the temptation, but if she drags you down to her level, she'll beat you with experience. Be the bigger woman.

 

Hugs!

[KymmieL]

Jackie, I was Married in Redford. Had our reception at the Old Botsford Inn on Grand River.  The rehearsal and the wedding was the only time I stepped foot in that church. It was my wife's grandparents went to.

 

Well I am going to check with a couple of counselors that are transgender friendly. My wife agreed to telehealth appointment.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[Linda Marie]

Well shut my mouth. I came in here today to post something meaningless so to speak, but I started

reading the days post first. Wow. So far I'm following KymmieL's story. Amazing how cool she is about her whole situation. 

When the marriage is broke, it is broke. 

 

I hope it all works out for the best of both parties. 

As for me, today was an un-eventful one for me, just how I like it. 

I did paint my nails today, does that count as eventful? LOL...

LM... 

[Jackie C.]

4 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Jackie, I was Married in Redford. Had our reception at the Old Botsford Inn on Grand River.  The rehearsal and the wedding was the only time I stepped foot in that church. It was my wife's grandparents went to.

 

That's within spitting distance of my house... I'm not sure it's still there though (The Old Botsford Inn that is. The hospital takes up a good chunk of land). I'm not familiar with the church, but Susan and I were married in Birmingham. It's a nice, gothic-looking church with gargoyles and it's Baptist. That's about all I can say about it.

 

Hugs!

[KymmieL]

We were married at Grace Lutheran church.  On Grand River. About 2-3 blocks east of Beech Daly. One place she found that didn't require us to take classes.

Looks Like I will have 7 days off starting next Tuesday.  Then alone at least Thurs though Sunday. As my wife and  youngest son are going to visit my oldest son and family. I  was told by my son. That it would be better if I didn't come. As my him and his wife are upset with me.  

 

I contacted a family  counselor here in town. One that is LGBTQ friendly.  I told her what is happening.  She said it was intense. Just waiting on when we can see her. 

 

I am afraid it is all over for my marriage and my relationship with 2 sons and one daughter in law.  I guess when we were there in Jan. Was the last time I will be able to see my oldest  grandson and my granddaughter.  

 

Hugs, 

Kymmie 

 

[Drayse]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I am afraid it is all over for my marriage and my relationship with 2 sons and one daughter in law.  I guess when we were there in Jan. Was the last time I will be able to see my oldest  grandson and my granddaughter.  

My heart aches for you. But your grandchildren may someday seek you out and against their parents wishes. Sending much love. ♥️

[KymmieL]

14 hours ago, Drayse said:

But your grandchildren may someday seek you out and against their parents wishes. Sending much love. ♥️

I hope so. I know that my grandson will ask where is granpa? I just hope that my son and Daughter in law will be honest with them at some point and tell them what really happened to me. Nana still loves them to no end.

 

I hope and pray that I will hear something from Spokane. I need to get outta Dodge, like yesterday. Well the water works have started yet again. Hey a girl has the right to cry when she wants to. I'll be back later.

Hugs

Kymmie

[Jani]

22 hours ago, Linda Marie said:

As for me, today was an un-eventful one for me, just how I like it. 

I did paint my nails today, does that count as eventful? LOL...

Hi Linda!  Yes that sounds like an event to me!  I don't know if its warm enough where you are to wear sandals or open toed shoes.  Enjoy your day!!

 

Jani

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Hey a girl has the right to cry when she wants to. I'll be back later.

 

Absolutely right. Hopefully they'll call back sooner rather than later!

 

Hugs!

[Linda Marie]

Hi ladies and men, me again. I'm just lazing about the house today. I did take care of some business, but

nothing to really talk about. 

Where I am at in my transition at this point is at the top of the happy scale. A lot has to do with the fact that I'm totally

retired and it feels like another wall is behind me now. Also my wife finally came out to her friends about me and that was a mile stone. Gosh I went through 20 years of what will my friends think and out of the blue she tells them all, 

 

So that my friends is where I'm at today. I feel this freedom I've never felt before. Happy scale 10?  

[KymmieL]

Linda Marie,  good for you.  I hope every day is just as good.

 

Kymmie 

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, Linda Marie said:

A lot has to do with the fact that I'm totally

retired

So am I.  It is nice to not have to worry about things like loosing your job anymore.

[Linda Marie]

Yes, losing a job is not on the good list. Now all that is behind me and I can

go farther now in my transition. It feels like the last wall has finally collapsed.

 

This is me as I type this, really, I just took this snap...My smile, this is the brightest smile

I've ever had in the past 20 years. Worry Worry Worry. Now the road is finally cleared.

 

[SheenaT]

1 hour ago, Linda Marie said:

Yes, losing a job is not on the good list. Now all that is behind me and I can

go farther now in my transition. It feels like the last wall has finally collapsed.

 

This is me as I type this, really, I just took this snap...My smile, this is the brightest smile

I've ever had in the past 20 years. Worry Worry Worry. Now the road is finally cleared.

 

How exciting. I'M so happy for you!

[Linda Marie]

Yes, a road long traveled so to speak. Not just by me, many of us here have traveled this 

same road, and I think they would all agree with me...glad that part is over?  

[Jamie68]

On 3/10/2021 at 7:11 AM, KathyLauren said:

Coffee this morning came from one of those pod thingies.  I’ve never used one before; it made decent coffee.  Lest you think I have gone over to the dark side, the machine is in my hotel room.

 

I am in Montreal for a revision consultation with Dr. Brassard, later today.  I hope he can give me some hope for dealing with the ongoing pain and pressure, either an appointment for surgery or at least a diagnosis and assurance that it will heal on its own.  What I am afraid will happen is that he will give me the assurance without a diagnosis.  No diagnosis would mean that he had no idea what is going on.  I will find out later today.

 

It would be bad enough to have spent over $1000 and travelled from nice, relatively COVID-safe Nova Scotia to the Canadian epicentre of the virus for nothing.  But I really can’t imagine carrying on indefinitely with a clitoris that feels like a penis wrapped in duct tape.  Fingers crossed!

Ouch!  I hope it goes well for you. I'm looking forward to having bottom surgery. I have to talk to my therapist and doctor to see what is required, and get things going. 

[Jamie68]

19 hours ago, KymmieL said:

We were married at Grace Lutheran church.  On Grand River. About 2-3 blocks east of Beech Daly. One place she found that didn't require us to take classes.

Looks Like I will have 7 days off starting next Tuesday.  Then alone at least Thurs though Sunday. As my wife and  youngest son are going to visit my oldest son and family. I  was told by my son. That it would be better if I didn't come. As my him and his wife are upset with me.  

 

I contacted a family  counselor here in town. One that is LGBTQ friendly.  I told her what is happening.  She said it was intense. Just waiting on when we can see her. 

 

I am afraid it is all over for my marriage and my relationship with 2 sons and one daughter in law.  I guess when we were there in Jan. Was the last time I will be able to see my oldest  grandson and my granddaughter.  

 

Hugs, 

Kymmie 

 

I'm sorry. I will keep you in my prayers. 

[Willow]

@KymmieL did you live in Michigan after you were married or immediately move out of state?  I only ask because were you lived has a lot to do with whether common law applies.  Generally, I would suggest you are married and will eventually need a divorce. You held yourself out as married.  You had children as a married couple.  Presuming you were in the service after you were married the military would have needed proof to get the added pay and to ensure your wife got a portion of your pay.  There are likely more things showing you as married than you realize.

 

I went to Charleston to see my endocrinologist today.  He was happy with my blood work and progress.

[KymmieL]

Willow, I was actually stationed in South Dakota and went back to Michigan for the wedding. Then back  out to SD.

 

I am in so much turmoil right now it isn't funny. Sorry to say but I am looking to compromise with my wife so we can stay together. It will depend on her. Though I think she has gone for coffee with her christian friend  so who knows if she will discuss our problems or not. I guess I will see when she gets home.

 

Kymmie 

[MirandaB]

Sunday I'm off to see Mother who I haven't seen in person since early October (when her husband aka Dad passed). She's in her 80s and has to learn about a lot of things over the decades.  She will definitely comment on my longer hair but not sure any HRT changes will be obvious enough...so wondering if I should out myself or continue fibbing about why my hair is as long as it is. 

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

I am in so much turmoil right now it isn't funny. Sorry to say but I am looking to compromise with my wife so we can stay together. It will depend on her. Though I think she has gone for coffee with her Christian friend  so who knows if she will discuss our problems or not. I guess I will see when she gets home.

 

Sweetie, I'm sorry you're hurting but is compromise with your wife something you can even do? I know being cut off from your kids and grandkids is killing you, but is this really the way to go about fixing it? I can't speak for how bad your dysphoria is. I'm not feeling it personally. Ask yourself though: Is any compromise your spouse is likely to suggest something you'll be able to follow through on?

 

Dysphoria doesn't go away. Once the depression creeps back in, honestly, what is your plan going forward? I'm all for compromise. Marriage is about communication and compromise, but your spouse, as near as I can tell, hasn't budged so much as a millimeter since you've come out to her. What kind of compromise would even work for you? Stopping the HRT? Spending all your time pretending to be a dude? You've got a better idea of what she's going to ask of you than I do obviously, but in all seriousness, what can you live with?

 

I support you in whatever you choose, but I also encourage you to think things through.

 

Hugs!

[Stefi]

This is just what I am afraid of if I proceed with transitioning.

 

Stefi

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Stefi said:

This is just what I am afraid of if I proceed with transitioning.

 

Stefi

 

Friends begging you to think with your head and not with your heart?

 

Hugs!

[Willow]

@KymmieL I don’t know what your marital status is since the marriage doesn’t seen to be lawfully endorsed but I can tell you you don’t have a common law marriage.  Neither Michigan, or South Dakota have recognized common law marriages since the 1950s.

 

Now let me suggest this, since you left Michigan and returned to South Dakota, how do you know that one of your wife’s family members didn’t handle this after you left?  My wife’s mother took our original signed copy of our marriage license to the courthouse while we were on our honeymoon with an unsigned copy.  And yes I was still in the AF on active duty when we got married.  Of course that was a few years ahead of you. Ok a lot of years lol.  I’m guessing you were about 7 when we got married.

 

I am sorry your situation has hit a recent low.  You know what I was hit with last weekend.  I got a small gut punch today on the way home from the endocrinologist.  He asked me about skin softness hair growth rate and breast growth satisfaction.  My wife brought that up as a broken promise on our drive home.  I reminded her that the discussion included her saying about body hair and softer skin when we first talked to the endocrinologist and my statement that I didn’t care if I had breast growth.  The endocrinologist stated he didn’t believe I would considering my age.  
 

Anyway, I didn’t let it get to me this time.  We are still on eggshells kind of talking around the elephant in the room.  Tonight could be interesting since when I get ready for bed I’ll have to hide to avoid being seen in my underwear.

 

Willow