Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Willow]

Success! Got my makeup off and changed my clothes without being seen. No fight about that tonight.

[Jani]

8 hours ago, Linda Marie said:

It feels like the last wall has finally collapsed.

@Linda Marie This is good news and a load off your mind I am certain.  Obviously its off your wife's mind too!  You look so happy.

 

Jani

[Linda Marie]

The security we needed when I retired. All done now, even the house paid off. I built it, I was a union carpenter

back then. I taught union carpentry in a federal program. Retired from the union and went to work for the

Forest Service in the same program but now a federal employee. I retired from that and life has changed. My wife and I are both at ease now. To understand what I was doing with the feds, I taught at Job Corps, 12 years with a federal contractor teaching carpentry, then 8+2 years with the forest service as a residential advisor on campus.  

Before all that I was a deep in the closet union construction carpenter.

Married with children...yep...

 

[Linda Marie]

When I came out 21 years ago, I was working for the feds, and had protection finally.

I went to my union reps about my life style outside of work. I mean like gosh, my students were from 16-25 years old, what if they found out about me.

So everything went okay, all that needed to know knew and the rest were don't ask don't tell.

I continued to work as male, woman by night...

When I retired from that I went right back in only this time a forest service employee, most all knew about me

and the same thing continued until I retired, I worked as male all the admin. staff knew about me, and rest,

don't ask don't tell. 

Once I was retired, I texted all my former co workers with pictures of me as Linda, and said, you never know

who you're really working with. All the replies were cheerful and wishing me the best.

Wow, these things one never forgets. 

LM.

[Linda Marie]

Oh yeah, texting my co workers. I didn't really think of that on my own.

Well, after I retired all the hush hush ended and I was the talk of all 3 centers that I had worked at.

So much for don't tell. Then my Facebook appears and my former co workers text me asking if it is true

and I texted them back with pictures and said yes. 

So the cat is finally out of the bag all around me now. Yes, I'm very happy now.

[Bri2020]

2 hours ago, Linda Marie said:

Yes, I'm very happy now.

Fabulous!  Enjoy being free to be you the way life is supposed to be.

 

[Elizabeth Star]

Just when I thought things were getting better....  The other night my wife told me I wear too much makeup and should give her a few days of me in guy mode. Other than a few remaining physical attributes there is no guy left, he never really existed. There were a few more things said but I'm drawing a blank right now. I ended up carrying the feeling with me today and it had me in a mood. At lunch today I did my customary check-in with her and she could tell I was hiding something. After a few minutes of a slightly heated discussion I flat out told her I can't give her what she wants. I am not nor was I ever a guy. She gets stuck on the idea that I never considered her feelings through out my journey but I always did. I think we've hit the point where we need to make some hard decisions about our relationship.

[Drayse]

I'm sorry to hear that things aren't getting better with your wife @ElizabethStar. Or at least not as well as you had hoped. Spousal support is so dreadfully missed when it's not provided, and not just in transitioning. My sympathies go out to you.

[Maddee]

Sounds like a real tough place.  Wish you peace today @ElizabethStar

 

Good morning

 

[KymmieL]

Right now everything is on the cool side. No tears or trying to knock one anthers teeth down the others throat.

 

Thursday she called and was all crying about things I can't really remember. But it was about family. I Texted her about I could be just a crossdresser let Kym out sometimes. With my wife's phone it can take hours before she gets a text. She didn't get it until about 6pm last night. After she got home. Yet she didn't say anything about proposal.

 

I got a email from the district manager in Spokane. That the store manager will be calling me. I haven't heard anything yet.

 

I am still confused about everything. She hasn't mentioned counseling anymore.

 

Kymmie

[Jackie C.]

9 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I think we've hit the point where we need to make some hard decisions about our relationship.

 

Oh ouch. I recommend counseling if you can. I mean a good one who is LGBT+ friendly. A third party can help make it seem less adversarial for both of you.

Though personally, I think your makeup looks fine.

 

3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I am still confused about everything. She hasn't mentioned counseling anymore.

 

I could see that. Communication is hard when only one party is talking.

Also, cross-dressing is different. You'd still be trans, just part-time. I have a friend who does that because of their job and a whole host of other reasons.

In any case, good luck with the job search. I know they can be maddeningly pokey about sharing information that you're prefer to have immediately. However when they're hiring, "right now" is like "in a week."

 

Hugs!

[Jamie68]

10 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Just when I thought things were getting better....  The other night my wife told me I wear too much makeup and should give her a few days of me in guy mode. Other than a few remaining physical attributes there is no guy left, he never really existed. There were a few more things said but I'm drawing a blank right now. I ended up carrying the feeling with me today and it had me in a mood. At lunch today I did my customary check-in with her and she could tell I was hiding something. After a few minutes of a slightly heated discussion I flat out told her I can't give her what she wants. I am not nor was I ever a guy. She gets stuck on the idea that I never considered her feelings through out my journey but I always did. I think we've hit the point where we need to make some hard decisions about our relationship.

I'm sorry things have turned. Hopefully she will come to her senses.

[Jamie68]

I came out to two of my sisters yesterday. It went really well. they are both supportive. They will spread the news to the rest of my siblings since they are much closer to them than I am. It feels really good to be out. I also talked to my 83 yr old neighbor for a few minutes about something unrelated. He hasn't seen me since before I got my ears pierced and started growing my hair out. My wife who was watching through our kitchen window said he gave me a kind of puzzled sideways look as I was walking away. LOL.

[Mmindy]

 

Good morning everyone, it’s been a full week since I was able to watch the sunrise over my many bird feeders and drink coffee as the spring migratory birds return, and the male plumage starts to transition to full color.#Ribins #GoldFenches

 

The coffee is HOT black and strong 

 

Hugs

 

Mindy???

 

[Elizabeth Star]

Morning everyone. Coffee's hot.

 

Thank you everyone. Maybe reality of the situation is starting to set in for her....again.

 

I had been pushing to get my name corrected since the end of last year. Yet it always seemed to get pushed out further and further. The recent plan was to get it done if/when we got another stimulus check. When the deal was made the idea of another check was still pretty iffy. Well not so much any more.

 

It's just silly that I've had to say it to her so many times. "This is happening." Maybe I'm lucky it's happening this way and she isn't seeing the big picture.

 

*time for another cup

 

She still wants to "have a talk" well, so do I. I'm tired of these games.

 

Things I think about,

We have plans next summer to renew our vows. We've already tried to talk about what I'm going to wear. She wants me in a men's tux, short hair, the whole nine yards. It's just not happening. I'm pushing for a dress of some sort but will probably settle with a lady's tux. Regardless of what I wear the reality is that she is going to be re-newing her vows with a woman name Elizabeth and not a man. Wait until she figures that out.

 

 

 

[LusciousTheLock]

@ElizebethStar Its a shame to hear that, and I've gone through the same conversation this morning when I picked my wife up from work at 6am. I was running late, so just threw on a pair of trackies and a jumper and ran to the car. My wife said she was more than happy to have James for the day. It made me feel terrible for not making more effort.

 

Maybe its the same in your case?  We wear the makeup to feminise ourselves as much as possible and blend in. I like to look perfect from 5:30 every morning for work , but had a lazy day today. I think my wife thinks this is just a phase, and at some point her Fred Flintstone husband will return. We share a bed, but there is no physical contact. We just take things one day at a time although I do crave the attention we once had for each other.

 

I don't know about you, but I tend not to poke the hornets nest too much, just try and let things settle for a bit, before the next stage of my transition hits.

[Elizabeth Star]

1 hour ago, LusciousTheLock said:

@ElizebethStar Its a shame to hear that, and I've gone through the same conversation this morning when I picked my wife up from work at 6am. I was running late, so just threw on a pair of trackies and a jumper and ran to the car. My wife said she was more than happy to have James for the day. It made me feel terrible for not making more effort.

 

Maybe its the same in your case?  We wear the makeup to feminise ourselves as much as possible and blend in. I like to look perfect from 5:30 every morning for work , but had a lazy day today. I think my wife thinks this is just a phase, and at some point her Fred Flintstone husband will return. We share a bed, but there is no physical contact. We just take things one day at a time although I do crave the attention we once had for each other.

 

I don't know about you, but I tend not to poke the hornets nest too much, just try and let things settle for a bit, before the next stage of my transition hits.

Yep, it's pretty much the same.

[LusciousTheLock]

How I like to think about it, is that my wife is mourning her husband and so I'm giving her time and being patient (although its been three years at this point). 

 

I have laid my cards on the table several times though, and said "If you want me to go, I'll go. I am doing this. I NEED to do this". She does understand its true, and admits I'm so much happier as Tamsyn. But I still see that look in her eyes...

 

You do need to talk, and have patience with each other. Its just a messy time and if your relationship is strong, you will get through this one way or another.  

[Linda Marie]

Not sure how to react to what I just popped into. All I know is that when I came out it was a big blow to my wife of 24 years at the time. I was so deep in the closet she never even had a clue until...after about 6 months with me as Linda part time of course but on my way. She started watching documentaries on married couples with the husband going M/F. By hearing the wife's side she recognized all the clues I thought I had covered up. Really. But it helped her to understand this is the real deal.

We did make a lot of concessions concerning where I go as Linda, straight to the point, please keep Linda out of our town.

Boy did that open up new doors for me. Another story. Anyway I really hope the best for those going through this right now.

 

[Aggie1]

On 3/9/2021 at 6:47 AM, Jamie68 said:

will be off the comp. till later. Pray for the nightmare to end please.

Jamie

 

I have been thinking about you and really hoping you are able to get the help your son needs. It sounds really dangerous. Can the people who are administering his treatment help?

[Heather Nicole]

@ElizabethStar Sorry to hear how things are going with your wife. It does sound like she's dealing with a sudden wave of mourning. I hope she can come through to accept it.

 

Well, time for my second cup of roasted bean juice...and something to eat...

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Jamie

 

I have been thinking about you and really hoping you are able to get the help your son needs. It sounds really dangerous. Can the people who are administering his treatment help?

Thank you for your concern. Things have calmed down here. He's had anger issues all his life. He doesn't get violent since he quit drinking. He can't control his mouth though. He is taking my transitioning really hard. He's really a caring person otherwise. He has genius level IQ and has always felt that people are out to get him. Has a difficult time even going into stores. I don't think he will ever change. If it ever got physical his emphazima would probably kill him. Also my 300 pound grandson is almost always ready to help. 

[Heather Nicole]

1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

He has genius level IQ

 

That can actually make life more difficult than most people realize. Gifts can very often come with downsides. They're packaged deals and we don't get to shop around or pick whether we think it's worth the price.

[Elizabeth Star]

4 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

That can actually make life more difficult than most people realize. Gifts can very often come with downsides. They're packaged deals and we don't get to shop around or pick whether we think it's worth the price.

Agreed

[Bri2020]

Happy daylight savings time . What an archaic system smh.

OK, off that sad subject to a bizarre one: Happiness

I know, Happiness isn't bizarre but I found myself in a completely new place in my head yesterday.  You see, I HATE dentists.  I've been so traumatized by them that I just don't go anymore unless it's emergent.  I get cold sweats just thinking about making an appointment. It takes valium to get me in their doors and I need sedation for any work.   So what does this have to do with Happiness?  Yesterday after taking a selfie in the convertible for the "what are you wearing today" thread I looked at myself smiling and realized I WANTED to go to the dentist. My teeth are not the best looking anymore and my smile shows it.  I never worried about it before because I never smiled and could hide my teeth. Not anymore. I looked back at my pictures lately and I'm smiling in almost all of them.  So there you go, my happiness has put me into the bizarre position of wanting to make an appointment for dental cleaning and maintenance that isn't driven from a severe pain motivation.  2021 is just sooo weird.

 

Hugs 

Bri

PS, damn this DST, I'm off to make a second pot of coffee.......