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KymmieL

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Out of the blue I get a call. I'm retired and have to go to a business meeting.

Do not know what this about, all I know is I text back and told them, I'm wearing polka dots.

They said please come as you are.

LM♥️

 

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When I carry my purse. I usually just have my wallet, some makeup, my keys, and maybe some protection. That is about all I can fit in my purse.

 

 

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Well… 

I kinda have an interest in historical clothing.  And since we were posting purses and stuff, I thought this was interesting in regard to historical women's pockets.

 

 

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7 hours ago, Linda Marie said:

Out of the blue I get a call. I'm retired and have to go to a business meeting.

Do not know what this about, all I know is I text back and told them, I'm wearing polka dots.

They said please come as you are.

LM♥️

 

Today31.jpg

And yet another lovely outfit...lookin good girl!?

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It seems universal that the depression mostly goes away when you come out. It was the same for me. I quit all my destructive habits. Feel much better about myself and want to live now. There will be moments of depression when we see how long it takes to accomplish all the stuff that needs to get done, and especially when you see how much you have turned upside down the lives of your loved ones. My wife tells me I'm being selfish. Well, I guess I am. It's my turn now to do something for myself. It's something that I MUST do if I'm going to survive.

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1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

It seems universal that the depression mostly goes away when you come out. It was the same for me. I quit all my destructive habits. Feel much better about myself and want to live now. There will be moments of depression when we see how long it takes to accomplish all the stuff that needs to get done, and especially when you see how much you have turned upside down the lives of your loved ones. My wife tells me I'm being selfish. Well, I guess I am. It's my turn now to do something for myself. It's something that I MUST do if I'm going to survive.

Pretty much sums up my life.

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I also agree with the above. The physical transition hasn't been the main cure. Its been letting people know that there is someone else in this shell. The real me that's been hiding and peering through my eye holes. The reason why I sometimes act odd (Well, feminine. I am odd though). Acceptance and the correct treatment of myself by others and the understanding that goes with it.  Being able to relax as myself, rather than putting on an act. Accepting myself for who I am.  

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I am pleased to hear that I am not alone in the depression lessening throughout your journeys. Not much happened on Sunday, was preparing to play some Final Fantasy XIV with a friend, but they never responded to me, hoping they are all right.

 

 I am preparing for another day at work, then I look at my calendar and it has one item on it, so that isn’t any good for my day normally. I was hoping to have more in the way of meetings and such to keep me busy. I am also (trying to be patient) waiting for the next touch base with HR, so I can get the answers that I am waiting for. Then I can setup the meeting with HR, my boss, and myself. I also need to call the clerk of courts I think to see if they can or have scheduled my hearing for the name change. Not work-related things to do, which makes me feel bad because well, I am being paid then to handle my personal life it would seem instead of doing something else. -shrug-

 

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On 4/9/2021 at 1:21 PM, Jandi said:

This is what we do when we get a few miles on us.

 

It's a trip.  I'm getting old, but HRT makes me feel like a teenager most of the time.

Jandi, this is so reassuring to hear. Congratulations on getting your court date set too.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

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magic brown elixir in hand. I am also like Jamie. I think that I have been neglecting me to be someone I am not. For the longest time I cared nothing for myself only my family. Then I changed to me being #1. then recently changed back. I am way down the list again. I know I shouldn't do that but I do.

 

I have read that most crossdressers have a great fear when they first go out dressed. My first time I had none of that. I was free finally being myself. Oh, I did have fear but I sucked it up and stepped out my head held high. If you don't like it, Screw all of you I am a woman.

 

Kymmie

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

I think that I have been neglecting me to be someone I am not. For the longest time I cared nothing for myself only my family. Then I changed to me being #1. then recently changed back. I am way down the list again. I know I shouldn't do that but I do.

 

 

This is a really hard habit to break. I have a friend who reminds me every day that you can only love others as much as you love yourself. She's not wrong, I've become a much more loving and caring individual since I've started looking after myself and, more importantly, started loving the girl looking back at me in the mirror.

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

This is a really hard habit to break. I have a friend who reminds me every day that you can only love others as much as you love yourself. She's not wrong, I've become a much more loving and caring individual since I've started looking after myself and, more importantly, started loving the girl looking back at me in the mirror.

 

Hugs!

^THIS!   I have been such a better spouse, friend, etc since I came to terms with who I am and loving myself for who I am.  The trick is to love your family and other, and prioritize them to, but not at your own expense.  There's a delicate balance if you want to be healthy, and have healthy relationships

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I was on the bottom of the list for the longest time. then slowly came up. but has since fallen again. Right this minute I am not important at all. right now no one is. It must be bad not even chocolate will bring it up. LOL.

 

Yesterday I had on pandora while I was playing Minecraft.  Bill Joe,l just the way you are. came on. My wife says that is how I like you. I said, I haven't changed. but I don't think she heard me. I know full well she is compromising just letting me be Kym at work.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I was on the bottom of the list for the longest time. then slowly came up. but has since fallen again. Right this minute I am not important at all. right now no one is. It must be bad not even chocolate will bring it up.

 

Was it good chocolate? I had a Hershey's Kiss this morning to see if it was as bad as I remember and I don't see how that waxy, nasty stuff could move ANYBODY up. Bleah.

 

Hugs!

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Well, my wife and marketing officer is pushing my "being out there" boundaries again and we are using this image in a direct mail hiring campaign. Nothing like "coming out" to thousands of strangers

923463959_ScreenShot2021-04-12at1_04_37PM.thumb.png.a65fdef129b8a0f56fa695e7ab25154c.png

 

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@Bri2020 I think you look great in that picture from the flyer! I think it will be a challenge to be out and proud for any of us at times, especially with complete strangers that you want to hopefully hire. I think you can use it as showing how you are welcoming and inclusive. Good Luck! :)

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9 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Was it good chocolate? 

Nah. Just a Hershey's mini dark. It is what I had. LOL I think that i would need a whole lot more than one  piece and much better too.

 

Kymmie 

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On 4/11/2021 at 7:43 AM, AmberM said:

 

Good morning everybody.

 

I hope everyone had a good first half of their weekend. After having a good interaction with HR on Friday, I made an appointment to have my ears pierced for the first time at a tattoo/piercing shop. First, I took a friend to get their hair done at a place that I went, and they remembered me after only one interaction which was great. After that, grabbed some lunch and then I had the piercing appointment. The shop was great, and shared in my excitement in doing my first ear lobe piercing. It didn’t really hurt, which was great. Then we went and played games for the rest of the day at the friend’s house.

 

We did have a conversation that was interesting. It is an observation that my depression has improved vastly since starting to come out. After years of suppressing the real me, that may have been a source of my depression, and how now that I have been leading depression groups, I kind of feel like an imposter. Not from a gender identity perspective, but as someone who identifies also having a mental health disorder. The more that I live authentically, the better I get, and it is also the more I can apply the coping skills I have learned over the years. I feel like I might be shedding a layer of my identity which is hard for me. Has anybody else experienced this phenomenon?

 

On 4/11/2021 at 7:43 AM, AmberM said:

Yes, AmberM. I agree about the connection to happiness coming from being authentic. I like to write and last year I wrote a story about authentic music. The story had two songwriters who pledged to do that instead of chasing hit songs. In the course of writing songs together, one character gradually came out as non-binary trans to the other. I fought against the idea, because it was too "left-field." However, this experience of writing the character (Him to Her) brought it out in me. And I resisted that until I found myself feeling happy whenever I wrote new dialog from Him/Her. I had to remind myself that the theme of the story was Authenticity, so I followed along to see where it would go. That led, of course, to breaking my egg and getting a therapist, joining a local trans community, and joining TransPulse. Happy to be here now.

Thanks,

Davie

 

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Good Morning Everyone!!!

I'm feeling so positive today, and I feel like today is such a great day for getting to the next level! I'm ready! We're ready!! For new waves of happiness and positivity~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

SO MUCH LOVE, 
BRIT

Brit_coffee1.jpg

Brit_GoodMorning.jpg

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Good Morning everybody!

 

Yesterday was fairly slow for me, I am still waiting for my HR Representative to have their meeting with their boss to see what the process is for my company. I am kind of at peace, kind of just wanting the answers. I did have an interesting session with my therapist, in which we talked about how to handle people that will try to invalidate my experience as a woman. His thoughts were two-fold. First is something that I am already doing with people who I know have issues, hold them at a bit of a distance. I don’t let my mom in close because she tries to invalidate my feelings in some way, so I know to keep her at a distance, so why not keep most people at a distance until they prove themselves first? The second layer is to remind myself I don’t need external validation that I am a woman. My therapist reminded me there are women that from many backgrounds, upbringings, and statuses. They are still women, so I am no different.

 

I thought bringing up therapy today would help someone else, because it is useful to share some insights gained through therapy when it is affirming. It was also helpful in adding to my toolbox for when something doesn’t go right.

 

I hope everybody has a manageable day.

 

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I had my second shingles shot yesterday.  At my age, it is a good one to have.  The nurse warned me that the second shot would hurt more than the first.  Holy @#$%!!  Was she ever right!

 

I got up in the night to pee, and I was freezing cold and shivering.  That never happens normally.  When I woke up this morning, all my joints and muscles hurt.  And I had the worst hangover that I have had in 40 years!

 

The good news is that a reaction means that my body is making antibodies.  I am taking it easy today.

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Balmy 21 degrees out. Getting cold weather all this week. I hope it warms up soon. I need to get some stuff done on the wagon less than a month before We head to Bowling Green.

 

Been in a low mood. I think since I stopped my blockers my T has come back with a vengeance. I can barely go a day before my facial hair is feelable. 

 

Oh, well. Still smile when I put my hand on my E patch.

 

Kymmie

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Yea it's Tuesday which means pain!  (insert sarcasm emoji here). It's my Lip electrolysis day so I am trying to get myself psyched up to deal with the excruciating prep of lidocaine injections under my nose and through my lips.  It's 10 minutes of hell but it makes 90 minutes of electrolysis completely pain free.  I swear I'm getting PTSD from these experiences ;)

Progress is being made however. 

@Britany_Relia great positive message, thank you.

@KathyLaurenugh-sounds like my second covid shot.  Worth the pain though because shingles SUCK

@KymmieLoof thats cold.  I seriously hope I don't have to stop blockers until I get things cut off, I never want T floating around in my system again.  

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Not much going on in my neck of the woods today. Spent the day installing a new dish washer.

Gosh I built my house 21 years ago, had to re-do the plumbing to fit the new one. 

 

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At least the one you had lasted that long @Linda Marie.   One that I installed in 2007 when I renovated our kitchen lasted only until 2011.   I've got ten years and counting on this one. 

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    • Mmindy
      My mother's maiden name is Schwinegruber, and to say that cabbage in all forms of use for our dinner table is an understatement.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Davie
    • EasyE
      So, I jumped on the "E" train last week and am about 10 days into my HRT journey. I have the tiniest patch available. I laughed when I opened it. "This little thing is supposed to give me more feminine characteristics?"   I haven't really felt much of anything so far, not that I expected to at this point. I am really, really tired but that may be other factors (like staying up too late to watch NCAA basketball every night). The one noticeable difference is that my libido seems to be a lot more subdued. Not that I am proud of this, but the big M was a practically a daily part of life for me. My daily comfort and way to get an endorphin hit or just deal with loneliness. The past week, though, has been, "meh." Is that the HRT tamping things down? Or just a normal down cycle for me? Not sure yet. Time will tell.   I have been very quiet about things overall. Only a few people know. No one in my immediate family. I fear the backlash I will get when they find out. Worst- case scenario, my daughters stop talking to me. That would kill me. I hope I can show them over time, "See, I am still me."   Met with my endo on Wednesday. He is good for me to up the dose when I feel comfortable. For now, I think I am going to stand pat and take things nice and slow. Of course, I could see myself tomorrow asking him to send in the script for the higher dose...   I keep asking myself, what is the end game with all of this. Unlike many on here, I don't have a concrete answer yet. I am not convinced I will "go all the way" and change my name and ID, etc. Part of me would love to soldier on just as I am but with a lot more feminine physical characteristics and a more distinctly feminine wardrobe. What does that make me? Non-binary? Not sure.  Again, I am just me, as unorthodox as that is...   All I know is that this is something I want to do. I am comfortable walking this path for now. Again, we'll see. As always, would appreciate any feedback the more experienced folks may have. Blessings to all!    EasyE
    • Ivy
      I grew up with it, my mother's side were Germans.  I still like cabbage.  I make a sweet/sour dish with vinegar and brown sugar, add some bacon if you have it.  And in warmer weather, slaw.  I like that better if it's a few days old, and has worked off a little.
    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
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