Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

Nice day everyone. Looks like we hit a couple of hot button.

 

I am 72 years old.  I’ve been married to the same woman for 49 years this month.  Apparently I am a woman.  I have been all my life, in spite of fighting it and feeling it was wrong.  After all, I’m a man.  Right? Wrong! When I was young, I wished I as a girl.  That was a true statement yesterday, today and tomorrow.  Like almost all girls I have grown into a woman.  But I still wish I had been a girl.  To experience all those things I wish I could have experienced growing into the woman I have become.

 

@KymmieL your oldest may want to talk to you, but with all of his words of not understanding and not wanting you around as Kymmie, it’s going to be a whole lot harder for him to initiate such a call.  Maybe it would be better if you stopped waiting and initiate a call to him.  A friendly every day type of call and see where it goes.  It may take more than one.  But it has to start somewhere and as the parent, I’m thinking you just got elected.

 

Everyone enjoy your day.

 

Willow

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2013

  • KymmieL

    1637

  • Mmindy

    1357

  • Ivy

    1173

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

  • Forum Moderator

@Willow are suggesting that I be  an adult.  I don't wanna be a dult.  LOL.  I do agree with you.  I should just call. 

 

Well good  new for my weekend.  My youngest is working days. So, its Kymmie time again.  Hopefully I will be able to get to my VA appointments. I will be going as Kymmie yeah.  Hope the stupid white crap stays away. 

 

Hugs, Kymmie 

Link to comment

Kymme,

 

I have to agree with Willow. Remember the neighbor on "Home Alone? As hard as it is, we have to be the ones that educate.

 

My daughters seemed good when I first came out to them, but then backed away. I had to initiate the conversation with one of them which caused the other one to come to me for much needed conversation/reconciliation.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment
23 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

Four years ago today, I told the world who I am, both in person and on Facebook.  It has been the best four years of my life.  The freedom not to hide who I am removed most of the stress from my life.

That's awesome! It's always good to hear of someone elses success.

Link to comment
17 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Happy Coming out anniversary!!!!!. Today is my 9 months!

That's great! 

Link to comment

I doubt I'll post here again, but thank you for this forum existing.

I've gone back to my masculine, bearded look but for having had the bit of crisis I did and having talked to people here and read the books I have I feel I've accepted the transgender community far, far more than I did before. (And I was staunchly supportive, in theory, before.)

I still present as female online in many places using 3D imagery and recently dreamed I were a woman, but I don't necessarily feel it's so much a part of my personality that I would consider myself transgender. Or, at least, to the context this forum would draw. I can't say I have a desire to dress as a woman nor to present that way in real life.

Having said that, having posted here and gotten to know the community I feel that I've come to accept transgendered people and their struggle far, far more than I had before. I wish you all well.

Link to comment

Good morning everyone! Hope you all have a great day. I'm going to get personal today. I'm planning to get a vaginoplasty in the future. I have my first appointment with the surgeon at the end of July. There's an apx. 2 year waiting list, so I got registered now. I'm 68 yrs old and married for 50 yrs. My wife is in poor health. She would never have sex with me as a woman. Because of her health we haven't had intercourse for 15 yrs. I was wanting to get a penile inversion. I want to have sex as a woman does before I die. This would never happen unless my wife passes before me. I don't even like thinking about that. I love her very much. In reality though, I will probably outlive her. Any thoughts on the subject? Am I totally out of my mind? Do people even have sex at 70? Is at worth all the work to have and maintain a functional vagina?

Link to comment
1 hour ago, HaraSurya said:

I doubt I'll post here again, but thank you for this forum existing.

I've gone back to my masculine, bearded look but for having had the bit of crisis I did and having talked to people here and read the books I have I feel I've accepted the transgender community far, far more than I did before. (And I was staunchly supportive, in theory, before.)

I still present as female online in many places using 3D imagery and recently dreamed I were a woman, but I don't necessarily feel it's so much a part of my personality that I would consider myself transgender. Or, at least, to the context this forum would draw. I can't say I have a desire to dress as a woman nor to present that way in real life.

Having said that, having posted here and gotten to know the community I feel that I've come to accept transgendered people and their struggle far, far more than I had before. I wish you all well.

Sorry to see you go. These are good people here. I'm sure they would welcome you back same as I would.

Link to comment

@Jamie68  I am 71 and I too have been celibate for many years due to my partner's health.  I have no plans for GRS because I have no doubt that I will never have intercourse again.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, LaurenA said:

@Jamie68  I am 71 and I too have been celibate for many years due to my partner's health.  I have no plans for GRS because I have no doubt that I will never have intercourse again.

Thank you for your input. I admit that chances of meeting someone and falling in love again would be remote, but I want to be able if it does happen. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Thank you for your input. I admit that chances of meeting someone and falling in love again would be remote, but I want to be able if it does happen. 

there are always toys.  My wife isn't sure about what we would do post vaginoplasty, she is figuring out if that's within the scope of her sexuality but like many, sex hasn't been a part of things for awhile due to a bad run of health issues for the two of us for about a 6 years.  We're finally in better health but I have no desire to use my boy parts now and she doesn't want to "get use to that again and then have it taken away.  She mentioned if she wasn't into sex with a girl that there was always adult toys for that.

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Do people even have sex at 70?

Well, I hear some do.  

As for myself, I'm 70 and certainly think about it.  Having no partner I sometimes take care of things on my own.  I've been on HRT for more than 2yrs, which has affected things.  It's different, but can be nice.  Unsurprisingly, I think of myself in a female role.

 I don't expect to get GCS for financial reasons and my age.  But If I were to find a suitable partner I would make the best of things.

 

Hope this is not TMI

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@HaraSurya While I am sorry to see you go I am happy that you have learned something by being here and have determined the path forward for you.  All my best. 

 

Jani 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

there are always toys.  My wife isn't sure about what we would do post vaginoplasty, she is figuring out if that's within the scope of her sexuality but like many, sex hasn't been a part of things for awhile due to a bad run of health issues for the two of us for about a 6 years.  We're finally in better health but I have no desire to use my boy parts now and she doesn't want to "get use to that again and then have it taken away.  She mentioned if she wasn't into sex with a girl that there was always adult toys for that.

Thanks. I'm in good health and plan to be that way for a long time. I have a lot of LIVING left in my life and want to make the most of it. I'm glad I'm not the only one. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jandi said:

Well, I hear some do.  

As for myself, I'm 70 and certainly think about it.  Having no partner I sometimes take care of things on my own.  I've been on HRT for more than 2yrs, which has affected things.  It's different, but can be nice.  Unsurprisingly, I think of myself in a female role.

 I don't expect to get GCS for financial reasons and my age.  But If I were to find a suitable partner I would make the best of things.

 

Hope this is not TMI

Thank you. I've been taking matters into my own hands so to speak for a long time now. Now that I've been on herbal and now medical HRT for about 8 months, the desire for that type of sex has gone away and a whole new type of sexual desire has replaced it. 

Link to comment

 

Good morning everyone.

 

@Jamie68 I think you need to do what you feel is necessary to make you happy. I know my wife will also have to make adjustments to the idea when I do bottom surgery. It will be a major adjustment for the both of us. Intimacy is an interesting topic I think when we have partners. There are adjustments required on both parts I imagine post bottom surgery.

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, AmberM said:

 

Good morning everyone.

 

@Jamie68 I think you need to do what you feel is necessary to make you happy. I know my wife will also have to make adjustments to the idea when I do bottom surgery. It will be a major adjustment for the both of us. Intimacy is an interesting topic I think when we have partners. There are adjustments required on both parts I imagine post bottom surgery.

 

I agree. Thanks 

Link to comment

Congrats Kathy. You are now 4 years old!!! That is a slang thing in my world for how many years out now.

That makes me 21, gosh I will never forget coming out, never been so scared in my life and yet so relieved. 

LM

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
12 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Do people even have sex at 70?

 

I hope so. Also, STD statistics in nursing homes point to yes.

 

12 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

Is at worth all the work to have and maintain a functional vagina?

 

In my opinion, yes. I rather enjoy the new accessory.

 

There is certainly a learning curve though. Both for me and my partner. I think I've got a handle on things, but I've always been a quick study.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
8 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

I hope so. Also, STD statistics in nursing homes point to yes.

 

 

In my opinion, yes. I rather enjoy the new accessory.

 

There is certainly a learning curve though. Both for me and my partner. I think I've got a handle on things, but I've always been a quick study.

 

Hugs!

Thanks. I appreciate all the input this group gives 

Link to comment

After having a breakdown with my therapist about my care team things seem to be changing.  Among other things, I felt like my endocrinologist only cared about whether E #s were "within therapeutic range" and not interested in whether they were making changes to my body. She hadn't responded to my concerns /inquiry about changing the regimen to get better results.  He made an appointment for me to get a second opinion on the spot and then later that day, low and behold, my endo messaged me a simple message "I ordered you progesterone, you can pick it up at the pharmacy". No discussion or explanation of the change or talk about what it will do, side effects, things to look for or anything.  I think she just got the word I wasn't happy and ordered P to "make me happy".   I'm obviously happy for the change but still not happy with her so I'm going to keep the second opinion appointment and see if I like him better.  So tonight starts my journey with Progesterone.  I hope it kick starts some breast developments/fat redistribution. I would rather not get a BA if I don't have to.  I hear weight gain is common so I have to kick into exercise mode and not eat a whole tub of cookies like last night ;)

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

After having a breakdown with my therapist about my care team things seem to be changing.  Among other things, I felt like my endocrinologist only cared about whether E #s were "within therapeutic range" and not interested in whether they were making changes to my body. She hadn't responded to my concerns /inquiry about changing the regimen to get better results.  He made an appointment for me to get a second opinion on the spot and then later that day, low and behold, my endo messaged me a simple message "I ordered you progesterone, you can pick it up at the pharmacy". No discussion or explanation of the change or talk about what it will do, side effects, things to look for or anything.  I think she just got the word I wasn't happy and ordered P to "make me happy".   I'm obviously happy for the change but still not happy with her so I'm going to keep the second opinion appointment and see if I like him better. 

The one thing I advise everyone when it comes to medical care " You have a say" and you need to advocate for yourself.  I used to be an RN and I can tell you, "the squeaky wheel does get attention". You know your body and if you aren't happy with your care- push for better care. This goes for things outside of transgender care too.

Link to comment

 

Good morning everyone, happy Thursday.

 

@Bri2020 I agree with you that we have to be our own advocates, which can be really hard at times.

 

I am now closing in on the one week away form coming out at work, and I am both nervous and excited. I think it is going to be really liberating when I remove the mantle of being the old me, and instead just be me.

 

My wife talked to one of my aunts yesterday, and she still isn’t fully on board. She sounds like she is going to take some time if and when she finally gets to a point of acceptance. She did have an odd opinion that I don’t agree with, she thinks I should tell my grandmother, even though she has fairly far progressed dementia. My aunt is considering it unfair that I don’t tell her, but I don’t want to trigger a reaction that makes my grandmother worse by upsetting her and causing an outburst. Not to mention, what is the likeliness that she is going to remember it between times that I talk to her?

 

Just a couple of things on my mind today. Hope you all have a manageable day ?

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Morning everyone.

 

Sorry to say things have gone south again with my wife. Last night she had taken her bath, starting at 10:45. She does this 95% of the time and gets up at aprox 5am. then she complains about being tired. Lets get back on topic.

 

I jump on the computer while she is bathing. I hear the tub drain. I finish up the story I was reading. a couple minutes later I hear, Tim/Kym (not sure which) are you coming up to bed."in an angry tone.  I finish that last paragraph. then head up stairs. I go in to tell her I will be right in just need to brush and potty.

 

Her "Do you hide in the back at work all the time?"

Me,"no, what are you talking about?"

Her, "Well a friend of ours has been in your store many times and haven't seen you."

Me, "Maybe I was at lunch or something."

Her, "I've had other friends go in and didn't see you. But your shirt says Kym(Kymbrill) not Tim. How do I explain? I still don't understand"

Me, (???)

Her, "So have you been on match?"

Me, "What?"

Her, "Looking for someone more transgender friendly?"

Me, "No, what makes you think that?"

Her, "It is on your old computer."

Me, "No, All I want is you." I go in for a kiss. She hides away. SO I do my brush and potty and take off my finger nail polish. I climb into bed. She doesn't say a word. I don't even try a cuddle. Figuring I would be rejected anyway. So, I put on my C-pap and go to sleep.

 

This morning as she is getting herself ready to head to the bathroom to changed etc. I say. I love you. nothing back. I am sure we will have an interesting therapy session this afternoon.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 115 Guests (See full list)

    • Karen Carey
    • VickySGV
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • April Marie
    • Jet McCartney
    • Birdie
    • MaeBe
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   1 member

    • Birdie

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
      Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
      Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
      Luke.S
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      Two words(?): Project 2025   Please provide links to the "political calculus" referred to, I'd be interested to know where this is coming from. It seems odd that anyone would be advocating to vote in a President that has stated that he will try to use the federal government to go after LGBTQ+ people because voting back Biden, that is not doing that, might cause some state legislatures to put forth more discriminatory laws.   LGBTQ+ people are not safe in a MAGA future.
    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I agree.  But sometimes unethical conduct must still be legal, because the cure would be worse than the disease.  One problem we have today with the internet is the trolls can gang up on someone and destroy them - we see the with school bullying as well.   He was in the Southern Baptist Convention, and maybe he should have moved his church over to say the American Baptists, who might have been able to help him. A Southern Baptist pastor is king in his church, peerless, which means he could not have gone for help in his church.  And he could not have gone for help from any other pastor in the SBC because they likely affirm the SBC statements on these matters.  I think he was stuck.    I read this when it came out in the news.  Very sad situation.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      One organization that I know of that is dedicated to assisting LGBT seniors is SAGE.  They advocate for, and have services for, all LGBT folks, not just trans folk.  You can find their website Here.  I am not sure what, if anything, they have in terms of financial assistance.  I'll let you know if I find anything else.   Carolyn Marie
    • Davie
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...