Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Willow said:

Liz and Jamie, in a personal setting it can be upsetting when people who know about you misgender you.  But don’t let it upset you.  Some may do it on purpose, some may just have trouble getting it right.  I have to admit I have a friend who I have never known as anything but female.  Yet I can’t count the number of times I have misgendered her, and I really don’t know why.

 

out in public, I’m sure I get questioned or down right clocked. But I pay no attention if I catch them looking at me, I just smile and keep walking.  I know I’m not a pretty or sexy woman.  But I look a lot better than a lot of women.  But I still have some male characteristics and I will until the day I die.  I have no intention to spend money on electrolysis.  I shave as close as I can and use make up to hide the rest.  
 

so expect to be misgendered by people but don’t ever let it get under your skin.  You are better then they are so don’t let them upset you.

 

Willow

I don't dress as a woman yet because of my wife. I'm going to start pushing her more about it soon. I can't get upset about getting misgendered if I don't look or sound like a woman. It's feeling more natural to walk like a woman. My old construction worker hips don't like it though. Come to think of it, they don't like male walking either. My deep voice always betrays me. At least my breasts are growing. I haven't seen many women anywhere near my age that I would consider sexy. I know who I am now and I like myself now. That's what really counts for me. If other people don't like it, Tough S__t for them.

 

[KymmieL]

Do I get clocked when I dress female, probably. Do I give 2 shites, not in the least. I still have to learn make up that my help. In dealing with people day in and day out. I have seen some sorry looking cis females. Sad to say. I believe I am more feminine that a lot of the female customers who walk in the door. We get in everything from supermodel looking ladies to ones that shouldn't be even driving.

 

Of, my soap box.

 

On to the regularly scheduled topic.

 

Kymmie

[MirandaB]

probably the most exciting thing that happened this weekend was I finished a bottle of "Men's" shampoo. Have been shampooing infrequently and mixed in better quality one...I am my mother's daughter so couldn't just throw it away. 

[Elizabeth Star]

Good morning everyone.  We're having a celebration of life for a coworker this evening.  My wife got me all worried about my hair color. As much as I love it, it may be a little too bright, really hope I don't stand out or get a talking-to about it. They said they'll be serving pizza and beer. I just happen to have 3 cases left over from this weekend. I'm bringing them 2 of them. The one I saved will last us months.

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

coffee is hot and good.  Provided by our daughter.  
 

So the car is at the dealership again.  They have been trying to find the problem to fix it but it’s elusive.  The forums for that particular engine all say the same thing.  A small percentage of them come out of the factory like this and various dealers have reported different fixes but they don’t seem to be consistent.  The tech needs it to fail while it’s hooked up to their computer then he’ll know precisely what to fix.

 

Had some really good steamed shrimp last night.  We all went out to dinner.  
 

I saw an article this morning indicating that Homeland Security is working on issuing passports with gender markers that will allow us to pick our gender under certain conditions.  No longer requiring that it match your birth certificate.  They won’t be available for a while so don’t everyone run out to your local passport office.  Just like MasterCard advertising cards issued in your chosen name not your legal name, you just have to use your legal name to apply.  True but not actually available until next year and only if the issuing bank agrees.  We often pay with my wife’s card for that reason.

 

well time to get working in my garage before it gets too hot.

 

have a great day everyone 

 

hugs

 

Willow

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, Willow said:

So the car is at the dealership again.  They have been trying to find the problem to fix it but it’s elusive.  The forums for that particular engine all say the same thing.  A small percentage of them come out of the factory like this and various dealers have reported different fixes but they don’t seem to be consistent.  The tech needs it to fail while it’s hooked up to their computer then he’ll know precisely what to fix.

Intermittent problems are the worst. Usually electrical, and a lot of times a bad ground somewhere the cause.

[Vidanjali]

On 7/10/2021 at 3:34 PM, KathyLauren said:

@Mmindy I love your outdoor movie setup!

 

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and prayers for our missing cat.  They worked!  He just showed up a few minutes ago, considerably the worse for wear, but alive. ?

 

That's wonderful news. Thank God. 

[KymmieL]

@Willowyeah, I hate those problems too. But I  have to say it. It is a Jeep. LOL. 

Work is a little slow so I am able to post. Been working on my voice.  A little bit every day. 

 

Hugs, 

 

Kymmie 

[Willow]

Well, @KymmieL my first car was a 59 Ford Galaxy.  Rusted out really bad. 3 in the tree and a 312 v8.  My next Ford (s) were an Escort Wagon and a Long Bed Ranger. Ranger was @ Masada 4 cylinder and 4 on the floor.  My orthopedic surgeon said the clutch was messing up my knee.  So, on to a E150 conversation van.  Really liked driving that until the Windsor 350 started giving me trouble and next the anti skid front brake controller went out.  That became my first Jeep.  I really liked my 2002 Jeep Liberty.  Now my beater is a 2004 Explorer Eddie Bauer.  Again, I like it but I had to replace the harmonic balancer. And now the alternator is out.  I know it needs a brake job, the rear pads rattle.  The computer constantly says the filler cap is off because it needs a replacement vent hose.  I’m concerned that a ball joint isn’t long for this world. Always something with a Fix or repair daily.  
 

our other car which we traded on the Jeep was a VW Passat.  It was just too uncomfortable to drive for 6000 plus miles.  
 

So, make fun of my Jeep now.  Maybe you’ll change your mind when you see it.  Over 30 mpg in mixed urban driving pulling a utility trailer.  250 hp, 480 lbs torque 3l v6.  8 speed automatic. Ford and GM can’t touch it.

[KymmieL]

My list of cars is way long. first was a 69 Chrysler Imperial LeBaron with all the options and I do mean all the options. 440 that thing would get up an move. But I was used to driving my next car 71 Buick Skylark. so I traded my dad.

 

My first brand new car was my 86 Ford Ranger 2.3 5sp. 4x4. now my latest is a brand new 2020 Ford Ranger Lariat FX-4 4x4 2.3 turbo 10sp. 280hp 315tq and many more in between.

 

Kymmie

[Ivy]

My first was a 49 Chevy pickup.  It had the foot pedal starter on the floor which was kinda cool once you learned how to pump the gas and starter at the same time.  Went next to a 63 Studabaker 3 speed with overdrive.  It was wore out but carried me and a friend to the west coast and back.  Then a Honda 350 that I rode back to California.  My butt was numb for a month even after I parted with it.  I went to hitchhiking for awhile and then bicycle.

After that a 53 Chevy pickup that I drove for 30 years until it rusted apart.  I won an ugly truck contest with that one.  I still like that body style tho.

Inherited a 69 Chevelle stationwagon.  It had a 350 with those nice heads and 4bl.  That gal would fly.

Ford truck with a 460 gas guzzling thing in it.  But it did have good torc.

Chevette station wagon that as my ex would say - had no guts.

Mazda 4x4 truck that was nice till the 2nd computer died.  I'll never have another Mazda.

Now it's just 03 Accord strait drive with a trailer hitch.

There was a Honda Shadow in there for awhile also.

Dang, that's a lot of vehicles.  I guess I've done my part for global warming.

[Jamie68]

Back between 1975 and 85 out in Tacoma I had a bunch of old cars. Buy cheap, fix and sell for a little more. Some of my weirdest ones were,

1/2 ton International metromite van with 4 cyl Austin engine, same eng. was in Nash Rambler.

1960 Saab with 3 cyl 2 stroke aircraft eng. tri power w/chrome rings and rollerbearing crank. Manual automatic trans. Only had to use clutch with 1st and reverse.

Chrysler Simca. Designed by a Fiat designer. Imported from France till 1962. Looked like a Fiat 128.

1965 Gm delivery wagon/window van. Had 10 feet behind seat. 305 v6 w/truck 4 spd.

1965 Gm 1 ton box truck w/305 v6 and 4 spd hydromatic trans. Torque converter doesn't slide out of trans like most do. Through a rod and found out there were 30 bolts holding flywheel to torqur conv. That was interesting trying to rotate eng. to undo bolts with a broken rod flopping around in eng. binding on block.

Had a lot of fun back then.

[Elizabeth Star]

Good morning. I'm not in a good mood today. We held a celebration of life at work yesterday for a coworker.  Although I've worked there for 20 years I expected things to be different this time around. Every time I tried to engage with anyone, as usual, they found an excuse to exit the area. There were two women from our other office I had though were friends (mostly because they said they were). One ignored me like I had the plague.  The other did give me a few minutes of her time but needed to get back to her transphobic husband. I feel using him as an excuse makers her slightly transphobic as well. I've always found myself hanging on the fringes in social situations. After an hour I showed myself the door. Honestly, I think very few  realized I left. Those who did were probably happy. I'm disgusted with people. At least cis hetero people. I don't care what it is, I will never go to another work event again. Maybe if the owner or VP insist but that's where I'm drawing the line.

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

I have to watch my time. I’ve got about 5 minutes before I have to log in to my speech appointment 

 

cars, we’ll I skipped a bunch, 71 duster, Vega kammback, fiat ( Fix it again Tony) x1/9 Plymouth volaria wagon! Plymouth fury, dodge horizon, Chrysler something that was all the bells and whistles company car, we had a Prius until the batteries went, had a MR2 auto stick shift convertible but the -transgender- "transmission" went out once a year.  
 

gotta go catch you later

 

Willow

Edited July 13, 2021 by Jani
A derogative term for TGs was used as slang for transmission. The system read this and corrected to transgender. EVERYONE: Please be mindful of using slang!

[Jackie C.]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning. I'm not in a good mood today. We held a celebration of life at work yesterday for a coworker.  Although I've worked there for 20 years I expected things to be different this time around. Every time I tried to engage with anyone, as usual, they found an excuse to exit the area. There were two women from our other office I had though were friends (mostly because they said they were). One ignored me like I had the plague.  The other did give me a few minutes of her time but needed to get back to her transphobic husband. I feel using him as an excuse makers her slightly transphobic as well. I've always found myself hanging on the fringes in social situations. After an hour I showed myself the door. Honestly, I think very few  realized I left. Those who did were probably happy. I'm disgusted with people. At least cis hetero people. I don't care what it is, I will never go to another work event again. Maybe if the owner or VP insist but that's where I'm drawing the line.

 

I'm sorry to hear the @Elizabeth Star. People can really suck sometimes.

 

Then again, most of the time in the past, I've never actually HAD any work friends so there's that. Work functions are just the worst anyway. I mean you already spend all day with these people, right? I mean if you make a friend and bond over things you have in common, that's great but most of the time? They're just people you work with.

If you're in IT, sometimes they're people you work with and you've seen what kind of porn they like. Or their mostly naked boyfriends... I've seen some terrible things.

 

Anyway, they're just work people. Do their opinions really matter all that much?

 

Hugs!

[Jamie68]

3 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning. I'm not in a good mood today. We held a celebration of life at work yesterday for a coworker.  Although I've worked there for 20 years I expected things to be different this time around. Every time I tried to engage with anyone, as usual, they found an excuse to exit the area. There were two women from our other office I had though were friends (mostly because they said they were). One ignored me like I had the plague.  The other did give me a few minutes of her time but needed to get back to her transphobic husband. I feel using him as an excuse makers her slightly transphobic as well. I've always found myself hanging on the fringes in social situations. After an hour I showed myself the door. Honestly, I think very few  realized I left. Those who did were probably happy. I'm disgusted with people. At least cis hetero people. I don't care what it is, I will never go to another work event again. Maybe if the owner or VP insist but that's where I'm drawing the line.

That sucks. Sorry to hear that your coworkers treated you that way. Real friends wouldn't treat you like that. When I was doing sheet metal, we did work that only about 5 % of the union was capable of. I worked with pretty much the same group of guys for over 30 yrs. For the last 18 they worked for me. I would order materials, draw parts in Autocad and input in burn software, then go out into shop and fabricate them the rest of the day. I've only told the owner who has been my best friend for 35 yrs and my right hand man. They took it really well. I really don't know how the rest would accept me. I suspect they would be the same as your coworkers. I keep feeling that this Dr Seuss saying is true with very few exceptions. 

[KymmieL]

Liz, I am so sorry that your work function went so bad. I agree about work functions. I hate them. Well most events in general. I usually just stay with my wife. You really learn about who you work with at these things.

 

Yesterday, I had a co-worker stand up for me. we had a customer (real b-witch) who I checked out. was all nice to my face. once she got outside. Where a co-worker was installing a battery. She ranting 'what the hell is that?' referring to me. going on and on, name nail polish etc. referring by my birth name. my co-worker stands up for me.  Saying shes(me) been like that for a while.  Even the guy he was putting the battery in for was like -what the heck-.

 

I will refuse to work with her ever again. I texted my manager to ask my co-worker about what happened.

 

Now I know why Garfield hates Mondays? LOL

 

Hugs

Kymmie

[Aggie1]

On 7/9/2021 at 2:54 AM, Elizabeth Star said:

She still has issue using new legal name, so I made a compromise that she is OK with since she will most likely dead name in front everyone. My dead name is now officially a nick-name, nothing more.

What a cool idea! 

[Aggie1]

Wow! Y’all are a bunch of gearheads! Hahahaha! I basically know how to change the oil! I check the sticker in the top left of the front window, and when the number matches the speedometer I take it into jiffy lube!!

 

Just spent the last 24 hours implementing two factor authentication on all my favorite apps and devices. My email got hacked by an IP address in Nigeria and I got 40 or 50 concerned calls, texts, emails, and messages from people I’ve emailed going back to the last century. I had no idea I had so many friends! Asking for money for someone who is dying of Covid is NOT RECOMMENDED but it is effective in getting peoples attention. Da##ed hackers! Fortunately most people were immediately suspicious because the email was signed by my formal first name which only my mother used and then only when I was in trouble!

 

I’m going to my first PRIDE event on Saturday. I was invited by the local PFLAG organization which I joined several months ago. I’m both excited and a bit nervous. What shall I wear?! LOL!
 

 

[Willow]

Continuing:

 

Liz I too am sorry about your work function.  I can’t emphasize because I was never female during my work life.  Still since I was usually tongue tied and shy I was mostly a wall flower.  The difference was when I was a senior manager and had to force myself to be outgoing.  That wasn’t easy.

 

Kymmie, I’ve been getting a bit of that myself this week but coming from my own family.  I thought everyone except my wife was cool about me.  Well now I know I embarrass them because I don’t meet their female standards.  Makes you want to crawl in a hole.

 

speech therapy went pretty good.  Thanks to the Botox my current voice is naturally in a female range it is currently a b sharp 4.  Last time it was clear at f sharp 3 but not natural.  The therapist did agree that in a couple weeks the Botox could relax and my voice drop again.

 

Willow

[Jamie68]

1 hour ago, AgnesBardsie said:

Wow! Y’all are a bunch of gearheads! Hahahaha! I basically know how to change the oil! I check the sticker in the top left of the front window, and when the number matches the speedometer I take it into jiffy lube!

I wasn't by choice. Was always too poor to have someone else do it.

[Aggie1]

6 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Although I've worked there for 20 years I expected things to be different this time around. Every time I tried to engage with anyone, as usual, they found an excuse to exit the area.

I know that feeling. It sucks! This used to happen to me all the time at church. I had been a member for 20 years and it was as if I was still an outsider, never allowed into the inner circle. I felt tolerated at best. It was like I was singing off key. Same thing at work. I could never put my finger on it.

 

now I think it’s because I was hiding my true identity behind a mask. Of course if I went back to that old church today the reception would be stone cold rather than Luke warm!

 

I’m much happier today because I’m keeping true friends closer and false friends at a distance. Of course I’m retired and I have the privilege of being able to select those I associate with on a daily basis.
 

Today I’m more willing to be authentic and embrace authenticity in others. I credit Toastmasters with some of my progress—Learning how to communicate more effectively, especially in difficult situations.
 

Retirement also helps a lot too!! For all you ladies who have had the courage to come out while you’re still working, I admire and salute you! 

 

 

[Alice_Sybilina]

@Bri2020I love that pic, with everyone around and you smashing it. Your an amazing person.

 

@Elizabeth StarI'm so glad everything went well. The parts that weren't top shelf don't matter. I think people just need time to come around.

 

I just came out as trans to the people at work that are in the same area as me, one of which I had already jumped his butt for saying stupid stuff about transgender. He didn't talk about it but he didn't treat me any different. He was talking about how media pushed agendas and he thought transgendered actors shouldn't be in media geared to children. I told him that it was important because people need more exposure to trans people or else they only know what their friends tell them. I told him that a lot of people would be surprised by the fact that they work with people who are trans, pass them in the street, and so beside them and they don't know. Then I told him I was transgender. I think sometimes we have to be uncomfortable with people because we are the strong ones, we trained our whole lives to be okay being uncomfortable. So that we can be the ones to help heal this world before our kids have to inherit it. 

[Aggie1]

1 hour ago, Alice_Sybilina said:

I think sometimes we have to be uncomfortable with people because we are the strong ones, we trained our whole lives to be okay being uncomfortable. So that we can be the ones to help heal this world before our kids have to inherit it. 

Words of wisdom!

[Confused1]

3 hours ago, Alice_Sybilina said:

I told him that a lot of people would be surprised by the fact that they work with people who are trans, pass them in the street, and so beside them and they don't know. Then I told him I was transgender. I think sometimes we have to be uncomfortable with people because we are the strong ones, we trained our whole lives to be okay being uncomfortable. So that we can be the ones to help heal this world before our kids have to inherit it. 

 

This is so true Alice. I have been doing much the same. We are the only ones that can teach them, just do it safely.

 

Hugs,

Mike