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KymmieL

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@LaurenA I know no words to express my sadness for your loss. May you find a bit of comfort in the memories of times spent with her. May the love you shared forever be in your heart.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

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@LaurenA, I am so sorry to hear that!  Please know that there is a virtual hug here for you any time you need it.

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11 hours ago, LaurenA said:

My partner of 45 years died today.  She was my biggest supporter in my transition.  I will miss her so much.

My thoughts are with you, hugs

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12 hours ago, LaurenA said:

My partner of 45 years died today.  She was my biggest supporter in my transition.  I will miss her so much.

I'm so sorry, @LaurenA. Hugs for you and blessings for you both.

For me, when friends or family have passed away and I've held their memories close to me in love,

their love remains with me.

love,

Davie 

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12 hours ago, LaurenA said:

My partner of 45 years died today.  She was my biggest supporter in my transition.  I will miss her so much.

 

This is tragic to read @LaurenA, I'm sorry for your loss.

 

Hugs

 

Cyndee

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12 hours ago, LaurenA said:

My partner of 45 years died today.  She was my biggest supporter in my transition.  I will miss her so much.

I am so sorry to hear that.  My heart goes out to you.

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13 hours ago, LaurenA said:

My partner of 45 years died today.  She was my biggest supporter in my transition.  I will miss her so much.

I am so sorry. My prayers are with you. When your time comes, your partner will be there waiting for you with much love.

Take care of yourself. You are not alone. Hugs

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Thank you to everybody for your kind thoughts.  I had a month of holding her hand to get used to the idea.  I am at piece with her passing and know it was the best thing for her.

 

What it has caused me to do is think more about how far I plan to transition.  I will be spending time rethinking my plans.  I think I may go further than I had originally thought.  Time will tell.

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19 hours ago, LaurenA said:

My partner of 45 years died today.  She was my biggest supporter in my transition.  I will miss her so much.

Oh no! @LaurenA I so sorry for your loss, please take this time to lean on family and friends as you work through the grieving process. In time I would suggest grief counseling. 
 

This is what I learned from my father’s passing. The pain of grief is equal to, but not greater than, the love you have for the deceased. 


Prayers for you and yours,

 

Mindy

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On 9/5/2021 at 5:48 PM, LaurenA said:

My partner of 45 years died today.  She was my biggest supporter in my transition.  I will miss her so much.

My deepest condolences, Lauren. She loved you very much to support you as she did. Those memories with her are priceless. You will always have her in that way.

 

*Big Hugs*

Susan R?

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@LaurenA  Sorry to hear. stay strong girl.

 

Well I have a little over 2 months to make up with my oldest. As directed by my middle daughter in law. She plans on inviting the whole family for Thanksgiving dinner at their house. Including my oldest and his family. I will make the effort to do so.  I know that she will be royally POed if my oldest doesn't come. Her, my middle son and grandson drove down in 2018 for Xmas with the family. So they can too.

 

While I would love to attend wearing a nice dress, I will not push it. and go more drab.

 

Kymmie

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Lauren I am so sorry for your loss. Hang in there.  She sounded like an amazing person and obviously loved you very much.

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10 hours ago, KymmieL said:

@LaurenA  Sorry to hear. stay strong girl.

 

Well I have a little over 2 months to make up with my oldest. As directed by my middle daughter in law. She plans on inviting the whole family for Thanksgiving dinner at their house. Including my oldest and his family. I will make the effort to do so.  I know that she will be royally POed if my oldest doesn't come. Her, my middle son and grandson drove down in 2018 for Xmas with the family. So they can too.

 

While I would love to attend wearing a nice dress, I will not push it. and go more drab.

 

Kymmie

I hope you can pull it off. family is important.

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My spouse and I just returned from a trip up north for a family wedding and seeing a few friends. The last stop was to visit with a queer couple I've been close friends with for many years, one of whom is a trans woman. We had a lovely visit and intimate conversation about gender; I've felt very safe and happy sharing with them about my journey as it progresses, and they likewise express to me how stimulating and validating they find conversations with me. They are like family to me. When my husband and I returned to our hotel, I could tell he was upset. It took some coaxing to get him to talk to me about it. One element was that it was the end of an eventful trip and he was tired. He also said he felt alienated listening to me share so much of how I have been feeling and discovering about my gender identity and expression. One thing that struck him was that I used the word queer to refer to myself. He said something that was potentially hurtful - that he thought I just wanted to be special. What's interesting is that when he said that, I felt practically no emotional reaction. My thoughts were mercifully slow and deliberate - I asked myself: Am I upset? Panicked? Inclined to defend myself? No to all those. Then, he said he himself felt stuck and that he felt he had very little idea how to express himself creatively - that he felt he just always did what was expected of him as a "straight white man". That's when I was struck by a few revelations. One, that just because he has the thought that my identifying as queer is motivated by my desire to be special doesn't mean he's right and doesn't mean that I am required to defend myself. I had the distinct feeling of security in my identity and acceptance of myself. I just did my best to comfort him and be close to him that night. Next day, I told him a few things for clarification. I told him that my exploration of queer identity was helping me to feel more NORMAL and not special in the sense that I have been learning better how to accept myself despite having felt very abnormal and unacceptable my whole life. Further, I feel that my expression of queerness is intrinsically tired to my sense of creativity in that I am becoming more myself. I feel freer and happier and that's what I have to say, for whatever it's worth. He didn't respond to that verbally, but he's been very lovey and sweet to me, so I hope he received what I hoped to impart.

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Sorry for your loss @LaurenA
I'm headed to your neck of the woods this morning for a couple appts.  Msgd you.

 

First is speech therapy.  I've been practicing her exercises daily so I feel good about the follow up.

 

The other is my mental health counselor.  Although I feel we don't really connect, he has been good about writing letters. This year I  reached out to a half dozen other therapists hoping to find a different connection, but no takers.  Considering where I am in my transition process, I'm grateful to have this healthcare relationship going for several solid years now.

 

My coffee is done.  Have a good day everyone ?

 

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11 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

I told him that my exploration of queer identity was helping me to feel more NORMAL and not special in the sense that I have been learning better how to accept myself despite having felt very abnormal and unacceptable my whole life. Further, I feel that my expression of queerness is intrinsically tired to my sense of creativity in that I am becoming more myself. I feel freer and happier and that's what I have to say, for whatever it's worth. He didn't respond to that verbally, but he's been very lovey and sweet to me, so I hope he received what I hoped to impart.

It sounds like he really loves you and is doing his best to understand and support you. that's great.

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I am trying to use my electrolysis machine to clear for bottom surgery. Doing the patch method. The thing I don't like is that you don't see imediate results. You have to wait for the next growth cycle to compare. This is almost impossible for me to do by myself because of how hard it is to see and reach this area. Thank goodness my wife saw how depressed I was with my first try that she offered to help me even though she is against my getting GCS. She must really love me. I'm a lucky woman.

Electrolysis treatment.jpg

Electrolysis patch method.jpg

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Well it's official. I start my new part time job Tuesday.  I run my own biz but it really isn't taking enough of my time and sitting around isn't good for my mental health. So...I am helping out at my favorite designer consignment shop for 2 days. I told her I don't care about the money (really small biz) but I am making $10/hr plus $70 in clothes a week!  Most items are under $20 so i am going to need a bigger closet. lol. I get to work with some really wonderful women who are giant allies. These are my new co-workers and me trying on a dress there from the summer (i bought it)

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5CD41D16-DDC0-4B89-B803-7589C7F54D41.jpeg

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