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KymmieL

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Good morning everyone, I hope you have a great day, and wonderful week.


Today I prepared Bob Evan’s real pork patties, two Texas-toast slices as egg-in-the-middle, served with Red Plum jelly on the side, black coffee and small glass of apple juice. #Fall #Brunch 

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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All I have to add right now is my smile. My battles are finally over.

So where do I go from here? Hmmmm... a new adventure is beckoning.

LM❤️

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today98C.jpg

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I hope everyone is doing better than I am right now. So, Friday I was feeling a little icky. But me and my wife took off for Rock Springs, WY to enjoy a pre-anniversery weekend. It is Tuesday. Hit the Harley Dealer out there. Then around dinner time things stared going down hill. I had body aches, head ache, chill, congestion. Friday night I was sweating my tail off one minute freezing the next. We headed home early.

 

Since our store manager was positive for Covid I got tested. Guess what low and behold. I am positive too. Yeppy. So I am off work for the next 10 days. My wife and youngest got tested today. The rapid test for them was negative. So, they are isolating themselves up stair. (nothing abnormal there).

 

Kymmie

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Since our store manager was positive for Covid I got tested. Guess what low and behold. I am positive too. Yeppy. So I am off work for the next 10 days

Oh no! Take good care! This bug is a real crapshoot. Some people shrug it off and some struggle on a ventilator for a month, or worse. 


my wife is terrified of catching it. Me, not too worried. I got my booster. I turned down a job driving a school bus after my wife reemphasized her concerns. It feels like a prison sentence sometimes, being super cautious around crowds, but it does bring a measure of peace-of-mind on the home front.

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Since our store manager was positive for Covid I got tested. Guess what low and behold. I am positive too. Yeppy. So I am off work for the next 10 days. My wife and youngest got tested today. The rapid test for them was negative. So, they are isolating themselves up stair. (nothing abnormal there).

 

Oh YIKES! On the plus side, studies show that women tend to weather the virus better so go estrogen! May you come out the other side unscathed and with none of those stupid slow-COVID side effects.

 

Hugs!

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I finally had a consult for "genetic" freezing the other day. Progress on things has been feeling glacial because this year's caused other priorities, but I feel like I'm finally getting a little closer to HRT (Can't believe it's been nearly a full year already since I started seeing a GT). Paying for the freezing and storage is still a big question mark, but the urologist I talked to was pretty adamant that the infertility effects of feminizing hormones is pretty reliably reversible by temporarily going off the hormones. Not that I expect I'd be happy to have to go off them, but in any case hopefully that may provide a path forward to hrt if I can't make the cryo storage work financially right now. Feel like I've shelved moving forward with transition plently long enough.

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Random deep thoughts today. About 6 years ago my family and I escap… er moved out of Illinois and up to Wisconsin. After moving here I had more exposure to the LGBT+ community. Maybe a year or 2 after the move is when I started understanding what transgender really was. I wonder if we had stayed in Illinois, would I have ever figured out what I was feeling? Or would I have attempted to go through life as miserable as I was never really understanding or acknowledging my situation. 

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I think sometimes it takes a major change in our lives to free our minds and break a pattern we've been trapped in for most of our lives.

It did for me.

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6 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

@Mmindy that brunch sounds super hearty! Yummm... 

 

Oh dear, @KymmieL. I also hope you weather it well and have a complete and rapid recovery. You'll be in my prayers. 

@Vidanjalithank you. It was so hearty, we didn’t eat anything until late evening. I haven’t been commenting much lately, but I do have to say, I love reading your posts. It’s like you’re writing about my life feelings.

 

@KymmieLtake care of yourself and rest. My COVID experience in December 2020 lasted into late January.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy??️‍⚧️?

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@KymmieLI'm not sure of your vaccination status, but if you were vaccinated then hopefully that means you've seen the worst of the symptoms. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts for a speedy recovery HUGS

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I am actually starting to feel better. Congestion is lightening up. Not much of a headache. Still gonna sleep in the lazyboy tonight. Maybe the couch.

 

I have been fully vaccinated.

 

Kymmie

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Good morning!

 

Came out to a cousin's kid yesterday (she came out to me with her variety of being human too). At first she thought it was a joke, so cross that off the bingo card. She did say I seem happier, but wish a year in it would be clearer that I wasn't kidding!

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18 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I hope everyone is doing better than I am right now. So, Friday I was feeling a little icky. But me and my wife took off for Rock Springs, WY to enjoy a pre-anniversery weekend. It is Tuesday. Hit the Harley Dealer out there. Then around dinner time things stared going down hill. I had body aches, head ache, chill, congestion. Friday night I was sweating my tail off one minute freezing the next. We headed home early.

 

Since our store manager was positive for Covid I got tested. Guess what low and behold. I am positive too. Yeppy. So I am off work for the next 10 days. My wife and youngest got tested today. The rapid test for them was negative. So, they are isolating themselves up stair. (nothing abnormal there).

 

Kymmie

Hope you get better quickly. Hugs

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14 hours ago, JustineM said:

Random deep thoughts today. About 6 years ago my family and I escap… er moved out of Illinois and up to Wisconsin. After moving here I had more exposure to the LGBT+ community. Maybe a year or 2 after the move is when I started understanding what transgender really was. I wonder if we had stayed in Illinois, would I have ever figured out what I was feeling? Or would I have attempted to go through life as miserable as I was never really understanding or acknowledging my situation. 

I'm glad you escaped from Illinois and found your true self. Sometimes it takes a change of envirement. I was away from Illinois for 11 years in Tacoma. It was awesome. Had to move back though. Wish I could have stayed there. It wouldn't have worked out.

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4 hours ago, RhondaS said:

Good morning!

 

Came out to a cousin's kid yesterday (she came out to me with her variety of being human too). At first she thought it was a joke, so cross that off the bingo card. She did say I seem happier, but wish a year in it would be clearer that I wasn't kidding!

It's nice to be accepted. Being transgender is definitely no joke. It's a lot of hard work and teaches us patience and budgeting, but in most cases much happier with who you are. I know I am.

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@Mmindy I'm gratified that you find my posts relatable. One way of getting outside of ourselves (that is, to abate any tenancy to get sucked into the drama of suffering, for example) is to share. Realizing there's nothing new under the sun in the sense that what one person experiences or feels is likewise experienced and felt by others (albeit with varying nuances) is soothing, as it cultivates the impression that we're never truly alone. So, thank you for sharing that. ❤️?

 

@KymmieL so glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. Let the upswing continue. 

 

@RhondaS consider the possibility that your cousin's kid's perspective is based on (presumably) having known you for a long time. That is, when we know someone for a long time, we usually think of them in the gestalt and may not notice specific things that would indicate this or that. No one I've come out to as trans nonbinary has thought I was joking, but whereas some people were immediately able to comprehend as in "oh, of course you are", others were more incredulous as in, "but I've always seen you as so feminine". Note, THEY see me as this or that, not YOU ARE this or that. Some people, even people of varied ways of being human (as you put it), just aren't as keen at seeing things in another person. And sometimes it takes someone time to process that information and their immediate reaction may not reflect their potential for full compression. Even though you're a year into transition, she may need time to put the puzzle pieces together to realize, oh yeah! Suffice to say that her immediate perception of you does not equal who you are. So, please try not to be discouraged about the progress you've made. Much love! 

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Well darn. My dreams of surgery has been squashed. Not because of my age, but do to the fact I'm in bad physical

shape. If only I took better care of myself. My wife is terrified I won't survive the surgery, my doctor feels the same way

and I have the doctor anyone like us could have, he is gay and has a husband. 

Well to make a long story short, I'm not upset about this, I knew this would be the out come so I'm just moving forward 

with the best I can work with.

LM❤️

Today99.jpg

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19 hours ago, JustineM said:

Random deep thoughts today. About 6 years ago my family and I escap… er moved out of Illinois and up to Wisconsin. After moving here I had more exposure to the LGBT+ community. Maybe a year or 2 after the move is when I started understanding what transgender really was. I wonder if we had stayed in Illinois, would I have ever figured out what I was feeling? Or would I have attempted to go through life as miserable as I was never really understanding or acknowledging my situation. 

Hmmm. I didn’t start to understand and accept myself  until after I moved back to Illinois. Of course my only alternative was to stay in Arkansas. 

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3 hours ago, LindaMarie said:

I'm just moving forward 

with the best I can work with.

That's the best attitude Linda Marie.  

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Today was interesting. I didn't expect this to happen, visitors of the best kind, my

son and his girl friend came over to visit.

So I'm all dressed up and thinking...I should have checked my make up, but thank goodness

I have brushes to take care of that in a pinch.

Anyway it was a happy day, 

This is what I was wearing, 

How did it turn out? Well I'm just happy he found a girlfriend that won't take his beef, and straighten him up.

And she loves me?

 

Today99B.jpg

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But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
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