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KymmieL

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13 hours ago, Davie said:

I never heard of a male getting tested for that, but maybe we do too.

 

Actually yeah, men get breast cancer. It's not as common, but you should get tested occasionally or at least do at-home exams.

 

Hugs!

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Also still waiting for the letter from my therapist. She said she would get it to me by next Friday.  Part of me wants to say I'm being impatient and I probably am.

I know this feeling. I waited 3 weeks for my therapist to finally get the letter to me. Make sure that if you want a vaginoplasty that it actually mentions that in the letter for insurance to cover it.

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Hi,

 

off to get a Covid test for our cruise this morning.  I’ll have to get another one after we get back because of being out of the country.  
 

I think getting mammograms is something of a right of passage, squash or not.  I asked about when I would have to get one and my doctor said not for at least 5 years.  Everyone has a different opinion.

 

depending on the measurement you go by or if you actually have a bra that fits, I would say I am a 38B. That’s the bra and cup that actually fits me even though the chart says I am bigger..

 

I think the change in my hormones is messing with me.  With no T production I reduced progesterone by a third and today is an estrogen shot day.  But I have a headache every morning and feel hot.  It does go away after some Tylenol.  No I don’t actually have a fever.  
 

time to get moving.  I’ll check back later.  
 

Willow

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Well the SHTF  with the wife again, at 210am. Last night to not keep secrets I told her I was going to dress today for my appointment. Her cheerful mood dropped some. then last night I get up to use the restroom and turn up the heat a little. I meet her at the bedroom door. As she makes her way to the bathroom too. She says, we need to talk.

 

So she joins me back in bed. she starts by saying that she thought my gender identity was a midlife crisis. That it had passed. she went on to say that our oldest just let me back into his life and that I may have blew the chance to see my grandkids.  that it hasn't even been a year. My daughter in law may have wanted to let me wait 18 month to 2 years of me not dressing for me to visit them. The she won't lie to him and if asked she will tell him. Oh, Dad has been alright but last Thursday he dressed. I mostly remain silent, I did however tell her that sometimes crossdressers dress.

 

So I have decided not to dress today. but will stick it to my wife in another way. Since it is forecast to be in the 60s here and 70s in Cheyenne. I plan on taking the bike over for my appointment. Then when she asks me for a ride. I'll just say NO.

 

I get a text first thing this morning from her. Please finish decorating the tree and put away the tree box, I love you. I haven't decided if it will be still sitting in the living room when she gets home or not.

 

Hope everyone had a better start to their day than I have. Shortly I will be heading over to get the bike fired up. I think I need to time behind the bars.

 

Kymmie

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31 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Well the SHTF  with the wife again, at 210am. Last night to not keep secrets I told her I was going to dress today for my appointment. Her cheerful mood dropped some. then last night I get up to use the restroom and turn up the heat a little. I meet her at the bedroom door. As she makes her way to the bathroom too. She says, we need to talk.

So she joins me back in bed. she starts by saying that she thought my gender identity was a midlife crisis. That it had passed. she went on to say that our oldest just let me back into his life and that I may have blew the chance to see my grandkids.  that it hasn't even been a year. My daughter in law may have wanted to let me wait 18 month to 2 years of me not dressing for me to visit them. The she won't lie to him and if asked she will tell him. Oh, Dad has been alright but last Thursday he dressed. I mostly remain silent, I did however tell her that sometimes crossdressers dress.

So I have decided not to dress today. but will stick it to my wife in another way. Since it is forecast to be in the 60s here and 70s in Cheyenne. I plan on taking the bike over for my appointment. Then when she asks me for a ride. I'll just say NO.

I get a text first thing this morning from her. Please finish decorating the tree and put away the tree box, I love you. I haven't decided if it will be still sitting in the living room when she gets home or not.

Hope everyone had a better start to their day than I have. Shortly I will be heading over to get the bike fired up. I think I need to time behind the bars.

Kymmie

I'm sorry to hear this. Being open brings pain sometimes, but if you aren't nothing will change. My therapist tells me to go slow, but to keep gently pushing forward. It's really hard to know when to push and when to hold back. Every situation is different. I hope it gets better for you.❤️

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12 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Scotch eggs be the bomb. I roll them in oats and bake. If you are being traditional you would fry them. 

Well, I am all moved into my apartment. I had a girl friend come over the first night and made her dinner. She kept me distracted and did a little unpacking with me. It was rather nice to have someone here my first night by myself.  It is really an adjustment. 55 years on this earth and while I've spent nights on my own, I've never lived on my own.  I always knew I was an extravert but this really hammers it home. I am just so used to having some human around pretty much all the time. The quiet is deafening. 

@Bri2020 I hear you girl on being alone. When the Ex and step daughter moved to Cali it was hard being in the house alone but I soon realized as I started transition that being on my own was nice in that I didnt have to explain or defend what I was doing in my transition. So a little light in the tunnel.

 

Hugs

Billie.

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3 minutes ago, Billie75B said:

@Bri2020 I hear you girl on being alone. When the Ex and step daughter moved to Cali it was hard being in the house alone but I soon realized as I started transition that being on my own was nice in that I didnt have to explain or defend what I was doing in my transition. So a little light in the tunnel.

Hugs

Billie.

Thanks.  Opportunity for personal growth I guess. I'm lucky in that I've never had to defend my transition, quite the opposite in fact,it's been quite pleasant all around.

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Well the SHTF  with the wife again, at 210am. Last night to not keep secrets I told her I was going to dress today for my appointment. Her cheerful mood dropped some. then last night I get up to use the restroom and turn up the heat a little. I meet her at the bedroom door. As she makes her way to the bathroom too. She says, we need to talk.

So she joins me back in bed. she starts by saying that she thought my gender identity was a midlife crisis. That it had passed. she went on to say that our oldest just let me back into his life and that I may have blew the chance to see my grandkids.  that it hasn't even been a year. My daughter in law may have wanted to let me wait 18 month to 2 years of me not dressing for me to visit them. The she won't lie to him and if asked she will tell him. Oh, Dad has been alright but last Thursday he dressed. I mostly remain silent, I did however tell her that sometimes crossdressers dress.

So I have decided not to dress today. but will stick it to my wife in another way. Since it is forecast to be in the 60s here and 70s in Cheyenne. I plan on taking the bike over for my appointment. Then when she asks me for a ride. I'll just say NO.

I get a text first thing this morning from her. Please finish decorating the tree and put away the tree box, I love you. I haven't decided if it will be still sitting in the living room when she gets home or not.

Hope everyone had a better start to their day than I have. Shortly I will be heading over to get the bike fired up. I think I need to time behind the bars.

Kymmie

I'm really tired of our children (or grandchildren) being used as a means to manipulate us into succumbing to how others want us to be. I am screaming on the inside as I read her words to you and feel them resonate with situations with my spouse and own children. I'm just so sorry Kymmie that they are doing this to you, I hope you can, like I have started to, realize that we just need to push on, let whatever pain is going to happen....happen, so that we can start to heal and be our true authentic selves.  Maybe i'm a little more emotional than I should be replying to this, but I'm gonna hit the submit reply button anyways.

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Hope everyone had a better start to their day than I have. Shortly I will be heading over to get the bike fired up. I think I need to time behind the bars.

So sorry to hear about this. Blew your chances!? Wow. That’s twisting a knife. Don’t lose sight in all this that you have needs too. You’re feelings are important too. You need to be yourself in flesh and blood not some artificial plastic image in someone’s mind. If the grandkids go to a decent school they will learn there is a broad spectrum and may end up educating your son! Who knows!?

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4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Actually yeah, men get breast cancer. It's not as common, but you should get tested occasionally or at least do at-home exams.

Hugs!

Thanks, @Jackie C. I'll take it seriously, as I should.

-- Davie

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My wife says to me today, “I think you took no nut  November a bit too far this year.”   
 

At least she still has her sense of humor. 

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Kymmie I am sorry you are still being manipulated. I went through a lot of the same. I still get it once in a while but at this time she gives me the annoyed look but doesn’t say much. 
 

Good luck

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25 minutes ago, Willow said:

My wife says to me today, “I think you took no nut  November a bit too far this year.”   
 

At least she still has her sense of humor. 

 

Oh, that's FUNNY!

 

Hugs!

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3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

So I have decided not to dress today. but will stick it to my wife in another way. Since it is forecast to be in the 60s here and 70s in Cheyenne. I plan on taking the bike over for my appointment. Then when she asks me for a ride. I'll just say NO.

 

That's not healthy sweetie. We do not indulge in passive-aggressive battles with our spouse. The fact that she started it isn't important. Sniping back and forth like this isn't good for either of you.

 

She is absolutely in the wrong here. There's no doubt about that. She's taken hostages and is using them against you. There is no reason to sink to her level though. In your shoes, I'd dress like I need to and be done with it. She can accept me or not. If she doesn't, I can find someone who will.

The point being that you cannot live your life for other people. You need to love yourself first. That's your foundation. Everything else flows outward from that. Until you fully love and accept yourself, you can't fully love and accept others. Your spouse sounds like she needs to learn that lesson too. What she's doing to you isn't love.

 

All the love. Hugs!

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47 minutes ago, Willow said:

My wife says to me today, “I think you took no nut  November a bit too far this year.”   
 

At least she still has her sense of humor. 

She's funny, and I hope you're doing well.

 

HUGS,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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10 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

The point being that you cannot live your life for other people. You need to love yourself first. That's your foundation. Everything else flows outward from that. Until you fully love and accept yourself, you can't fully love and accept others. Your spouse sounds like she needs to learn that lesson too. What she's doing to you isn't love.

All the love. Hugs!

@KymmieLyou know you're in the hearts of everyone here, and @Jackie C. has so gently pointed out that we need to take the high road when dealing with our family. You know who you are, and what you need to do, to be that person.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Until you fully love and accept yourself, you can't fully love and accept others. 

That is my biggest problem. While I do accept myself I can care less about myself,  right now.   I know this is not a good thing to do. 

I am in the waiting room at the VA womans clinic. Which feels good.  One place I know I am accepted.  While the ride was a little chilly  this morning it was great to ride. 

 

Will post up when I get home. 

Hugs to all.

 

Kymmie 

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6 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

That's not healthy sweetie. We do not indulge in passive-aggressive battles with our spouse. The fact that she started it isn't important. Sniping back and forth like this isn't good for either of you.

She is absolutely in the wrong here. There's no doubt about that. She's taken hostages and is using them against you. There is no reason to sink to her level though. In your shoes, I'd dress like I need to and be done with it. She can accept me or not. If she doesn't, I can find someone who will.

The point being that you cannot live your life for other people. You need to love yourself first. That's your foundation. Everything else flows outward from that. Until you fully love and accept yourself, you can't fully love and accept others. Your spouse sounds like she needs to learn that lesson too. What she's doing to you isn't love.

All the love. Hugs!

^ What she said^

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Today was a surprise. Cherry, the president of the Carolina Transgender Society(formally the Kappa Betta) contacted me.

I'm looking forward to meeting her. 

Gosh I'm so looking forward to getting out again. 

 

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When I got home last night my partner needed me to go with her to the dispensary. There’s some regulation that you have to have you ID on the counter when working with the associates. This was the first time we ever had them side by side. My partner noticed and commented about how we look pretty similar. The cashier overheard, stopped for a moment and also looked at the pictures. Without hesitation (probably because we have the same last name) he asked if we were sisters. She just casually replied “no, we’re married”. The poor guy looked so confused. 🤣🤣

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26 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

She just casually replied “no, we’re married”. The poor guy looked so confused.

Fun times

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Oh dear me, I just found out I can pop the Christmas bulbs. Gosh it is more fun than popping those bubble wraps.

 

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43 minutes ago, LindaMarie said:

Oh dear me, I just found out I can pop the Christmas bulbs. Gosh it is more fun than popping those bubble wraps.

so that's what everyone meant when they were talking about smashing the bulbs! Now it makes sense! That is fun!!

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Good news! Got a great lab test result on my diabetes just now. It had gone up quite a bit due to many factors: stress, diet, exercise . . . stress. And with a  new plan and new meds, it's back down to (not exactly normal) but it's a great improvement for only three months and means no long-term problems from it. Long-term good news—give me more of that! Sigh.

hugs,

Davie

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      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
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