Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

My wife and I went out to dinner for our anniversary last night. I thought I was in pretty good fem mode. Wig, dusty rose hat, nail polish, my new Muk Luk boots, black leggings with open laces on sides at bottom, fuzzy sweater, and purse. I thought it was going well till the waitress handed me the check saying "Here's your check sir". BAM!!! What a kick in the gut. I really thought this could be the night where I didn't get misgendered for the first time. What a buz killer. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to make a scene and ruin the evening for my wife. On the way home, my wife asked me what was wrong, so I told her. She totally didn't understand it saying, "I thought you didn't care about labels". I had to tell her that I just wanted to be treated like just another woman. She said, "You look trans. You will always look trans". OUCH!!! Again. I didn't expect it from her. I wrote her a long note about what it's like to look in the mirror and hope to see the woman I am, and the disappointment and pain when I see a man staring back at me. I didn't sleep at all last night. She slept like a baby.

Hopefully today will be better. I have an appointment at Hair Club to get my wig styled.

Jamie.jpg

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2011

  • KymmieL

    1637

  • Mmindy

    1356

  • Ivy

    1172

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

  • Forum Moderator
9 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

She slept like a baby.

 

She was up every hour or so screaming? That's appropriate. What she said to you was COMPLETELY out of line. We are not cruel to our significant others.

 

I'm sorry you had to hear that from someone you love sweetie. Give it time. You'll be just one of the girls before you know it.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
3 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

 

She was up every hour or so screaming? That's appropriate. What she said to you was COMPLETELY out of line. We are not cruel to our significant others.

 

I'm sorry you had to hear that from someone you love sweetie. Give it time. You'll be just one of the girls before you know it.

 

Hugs!

❤️

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning 

 

Jamie, some people just don’t have the sense to know when to either say nothing or try to be accommodating.  Especially wait staff.  They should realize that the tip size could change based on the greeting.  Yes it can certainly make for a buzz kill after an otherwise good meal.

 

congratulations on your anniversary.  Which one was it?

 

Willow

 

 

Link to comment

@Jamie68did the waitress misgender you intentionally? The last time I was misgendered was right before Xmas in a crowded store by the cashier. Talk about demoralizing. 
 

I’m sorry there was a disconnect with your wife. Sometimes it is hard for our loved ones to understand. 

Link to comment

@Jamie68I'm sorry you had to endure that. Especially from your wife. Being misgendered is never a good experience, intentional or not. It's even worse when a spouse doesn't understand or makes hurtful remarks. I agree with what Jackie said--she was completely out of line.

 

And, for what it's worth, you ARE one of the girls. The oustide wrapper is immaterial; it's what's inside us that matters.

 

Hugs

Link to comment

@Jamie68 I'm so sorry you were hurt this way by your wife. I hope she'll read your note and be touched by it so that you two can use this upset as an opportunity to communicate and come to greater understanding. Much love to you. Btw, I'm sure you looked very pretty on your date - I liked your description of your look for the evening. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

I wrote her a long note about what it's like to look in the mirror and hope to see the woman I am, and the disappointment and pain when I see a man staring back at me.

Jamie, I hope writing the long note to your wife was as therapeutic for you as they are for me. Did you give her the note? What was her reaction? Hopefully she will be more understanding in the future. It's one thing to be misgendered by a stranger, and more painful when the people who say they support us.

 

@Jackie C.you're since of humor and timing are on the same track as mine. Anytime I hear someone say they slept like a baby. Reply, "So you woke up every two hours, hungry and wet."

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment

Good morning all. Much love to yous. It was overcast and rainy last couple days as several monarch butterflies hatched. I think some had not fully dried their wings before sunset yesterday, because they were scattered here and there in the yard this morning. My husband and I collected the lingering ones and placed them on this wooly tea bush to dry and enjoy some nectar breakfast. 

20220113_092304.thumb.jpg.c83131fe2bc48fb30d60a5e840baf24f.jpg

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

She totally didn't understand it…

I doubt that a cis person really can.

 

1 hour ago, Willow said:

 Especially wait staff.  They should realize that the tip size could change based on the greeting.

Yup.   Could be a bad move.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, still sitting around in our pjs.  the coffee was good but the cups left something to be desired.  We use disposable cups because our kitchen sink is about 10” by 12”. And no hot water.  I’ll have to do something about that sometime.

 

I have things to do today, but they aren’t earth shattering and there is always tomorrow.  
 

I do realize I am one of the fortunate few.  I rarely get misgendered verbally anymore.  My wife is as understanding as I could ask for.  Last night I was on a high from having had a great day with her.  Told her so more than once.  Oh and all we did was do the laundry and grocery shop.  But we did it together and had no issues of any sort.  All around wonderful day.

 

you have to make the most of them when they occur, you never get enough of them.  And as Jamie expressed, it doesn’t take much to turn a celebration into the worst.

 

find a way to make the most of your day.

 

Hugs

 

Willow

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
42 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

 

@Jackie C.you're since of humor and timing are on the same track as mine. Anytime I hear someone say they slept like a baby. Reply, "So you woke up every two hours, hungry and wet."

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

ROTFLMAO, good one I need to remember that.

 

I think that would be something my wife would say. If I ever went out with her dressed. OH, well. Even if I asked her, I would get why do you need to. SO I don't even bother.

 

I often wonder if people who oppose us being who we are.  Know what we are giving up to become. No offense to anyone. Does anyone chose to be the claimed inferior sex. Chose to put ourselves through the humiliation to become who we need to be. Does anyone rationally chose this path? 

 

 

Hugs, Kymmie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
13 minutes ago, Willow said:

the coffee was good but the cups left something to be desired.  We use disposable cups because our kitchen sink is about 10” by 12”. And no hot water.

Willow,

I'm not from a military background, having served in public safety, with a large number of veterans. I learned not to wash one of the former Navy Chief's coffee cup. They evidently think it superstitious or unwise to wash the Chief's Coffee cup. Swabbing the deck or cleaning shoes.

 

I love to hear about the adventures on your boat, and will miss them once you move into the condo.

 

Hugs

 

image.jpeg.244dd34db23b62bc10cb81637ee150f0.jpeg

656fd48c5efa74af858c34bb3a459b92--navy-chief-military-humor.jpg

Tooth Foot.jpg

Link to comment

@Jamie68 I’m so sorry to hear that happened. I’m now convinced our spouses are related. I’ve been out in public with mine and got misgendered. Her response is always but you’re a guy. You look trans? Been there too. What exactly does trans look like? Judging by what the women around here wear all one needs to do to is put on a skirt to raise suspicion. 

Link to comment

I wear skirts and dresses. I wear make up. how others feel is their problem, I have a life also.

All I can say is don't sweat the small stuff. Bigger problems lay ahead. 

LM

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, LindaMarie said:

I wear skirts and dresses. I wear make up. how others feel is their problem, I have a life also.

Don't do the make-up, but skirts and dresses almost exclusively.  I had to wear britches most of my life.  Now I'll wear what I want, thank you.

Link to comment

Oh, and how many here have gone through this?

My wife and daughter are not dress wearers, so when daughter graduated college,

both went and bought dresses. No problem, right? Wrong. They forgot

pantyhose and came to me for them. New ones of course, I think they already

knew I had a stock pile. 

 

Link to comment
6 minutes ago, Jandi said:

Don't do the make-up, but skirts and dresses almost exclusively.  I had to wear britches most of my life.  Now I'll wear what I want, thank you.

I can relate closely. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

@Jamie68 I’m so sorry to hear that happened. I’m now convinced our spouses are related. I’ve been out in public with mine and got misgendered. Her response is always but you’re a guy. 

If I had a spouse who said that to me, as if they did not realize or accept or comprehend who I really was, I would consider this borderline abusive. 

 

And to be blunt, if you are tolerating this kind of stuff, some of the problem is in your court, too. 

I say this with a history of getting married because I was afraid no one would accept me  (I was still in the closet), and called it a "relationship".

What it really amounted to was a co-dependant business agreement, and I paid a heavy price for it: the lesson of self-love, which I would not fully grasp 20+ years later. 

There are people who are attracted to trans women because they think it's cute or something, but when it all boils down, they just see a vulnerable willing victim they can manipulate, a person who will always be unequal.

 

Link to comment

I pluck and trim my eyebrows also, I mean like why not? 

I live the life after all.

Going out is no problem, I just tend to my business. 

LM❤️

Today28B.jpg

Link to comment

Here's another story, when I was told my health won't allow elective surgery, I told

my wife, "I'm no longer transgendered, I'm a transvestite now".

She said, "no you are not, you are transgendered".

My reply was,

"What's wrong with being a transvestite?

LM❤️

Link to comment

I work with the best people. A little while ago my manager came into my office as said he needed to talk to me. He had a concerned look on his face. My first thought was uh-oh, someone finally noticed I've been wearing mini-skirt to work. I went into his office through the back door and he closed it behind me. Then turns to me and says, wait I need another manager, follow me. So now I'm getting really worried especially since I did plow my jeep into my company car last weekend. So I followed him into our warehouse to meet with another manager. As we approached far side of the warehouse I noticed a bunch of my coworkers congregating in an area. OMG! It was a birthday trap! It was so sweet of them. They sang me happy birthday and had bought cup cakes. That in itself would have been enough but they still went a step further by having the cupcakes made with pink, white and blue frosting to show their love and support. Honestly, I don't know if I could have made it this far without them.

Link to comment

Nice story Lizzy. Life can have its moments joy.

Speaking on joy,

Imagen you are a wait staff, serving and serving many people

and oops, you say the sir word to the wrong person?

How do you see yourself, after all this is what they see...

oh, and the tips? I have always left a nice tip. Part of that goes to the kitchen staff.

So which one would you want to serve?

"You talking to me"? or

"Thankyou for your service".

 

 

 

Today28C.jpg

Today28D.jpg

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 83 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
    • Heather Shay
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,020
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Tami
    Newest Member
    Tami
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • Heather Shay
      First mammogram Friday, looking forward, smiling
    • Heather Shay
      Satisfaction   Satisfaction. The feeling when something meets or exceeds your expectation. You feel satisfaction when you expected to get something, and then got it.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Wearing a dress is so freeing!
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone! I've finally pretty much finished with this head cold. I actually got 5.5 hours of straight sleep last night without taking any cold medication...or waking up to pee. I feel amazingly rested!!   Oh, @Willow, you are in my thoughts and prayers that your throat issue becomes less of a problem over time and not more.   I'm, hopefully, going to get our grass cut today. It takes me somewhere between 2.5 and 3 hours on the zero turn mower but the ground is still so wet that I'll have to slow down a bit. At least it's supposed to be sunny and around 60.   Have a wonderful day!!
    • April Marie
      This is all such wonderful news!!!! I can feel the happiness in your words.
    • VickySGV
      We have had some real dillies come out as the initiative sort of thing, but as @Carolyn Marie said, very few make it out of the petition signing seasons.  I am not surprised at the origin site of this thing, it is probably one of only 3 regressive leaning counties we have in the state. We actually had one of these initiatives started to make it mandatory for police to shoot dead on site any Gay behaving individuals wherever they found them.  For the most part the matters are poorly written in ways to be unenforceable even if enacted.  Thus most never become law or get to the voters.
    • Carolyn Marie
      You make some good points, AYS.  But there are usually already too many ballot propositions each election, so the proponents know it's best to wrap it all up into a nice package.  Plus, it's easier for the signature gatherers.  Otherwise they have to have a separate clipboard for each proposition.  Too much paperwork, dontcha know?   This kind of proposition is a loser in CA, so the only possible way the proponents can succeed is to give it the scariest title imaginable and try to put one over on the voters before they get wise.  Bottom line; an ice cube on a hot summer sidewalk has a better chance of success.   Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Reading that article, it seems like the attorney general gets to call it whatever unless its an outright lie.  Given the nature of politics in CA, it seems like one side has the bully pulpit for sure.  Labeling it "Restricts Rights" vs "Protects Kids" is very much a matter of perspective.  Unfortunately, that matters since many voters don't bother to read.  Perhaps a better (unbiased) way to handle it would be to simply give the ballot measure a number with no title, forcing folks to read it.    I think it would have been better to handle the various issues covered by the ballot measure separately, rather than all at once.  For example, issues relating to disclosure of medical and social information to parents.  That could be its own ballot measure, rather than lumped in with everything else.  Besides, shorter and more succinct measures are more likely to be read completely. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://calmatters.org/education/k-12-education/2024/04/trans-youth/     Yup, the existing title sound perfectly appropriate and accurate to me, too.   Carolyn Marie
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Seen my hrt specialist this morning and nothing but good news,estrogen levels looked good.Boyfriend was with me and I admit he has been learning well about my transition showing his support.Our relationship is going great and we both see each other much happier now.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This reminded me of an individual who, due to child sexual abuse, lived as a woman for 15 years, detransitioned and noisily insists that all trans people have his story.  His name comes up fairly often because it fits the narrative.   I don't know that anyone actually has been railroaded.  People may say it, they may look back at what happened and decide that happened.  It's a he said / she said, but it feeds a narrative that is useful for those who are already convinced that trans people are abuse victims first and foremost.  That the detransition rate is so low tells me that railroading is not actually a problem, and I regret giving the impression that I thought it was.  That so few detransition is a success story.   What is pertitent at heart is that people hear and believe all the stories out there, and the story we have to tell is not heard, because TG folk are, after all, untrustworthy in their view and unworthy of an audience.  Somehow it needs to get out there as to what the real situation is. 
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...