Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

I'm sorry.  I know you'll miss her.

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2008

  • KymmieL

    1636

  • Mmindy

    1351

  • Ivy

    1169

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

31 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

I need to find that machine. I think somebody needs to build one. I am sure it would get its usage.

I need this !

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you everyone. Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

So sorry to hear this. 😥

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
21 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Hey everyone. Not a good day for me. Things have gotten a lot worse for my partner. 😭😭😭

Prayers of comfort and recovery for you and your partner. 🙏🏼💔🙏🏼❤️🩹🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
 

Minndy

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
4 hours ago, Roxiee said:

Evening all, I'm new!

Good evening Roxie.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment

Guilt free milkshakes! Not even bothering with a glass. lol.

This one is Ben and Jerrys fudge brownie with mango and strawberries thrown in.

IMG_3303.jpeg

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you everyone. Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

I’m so sorry Lizzy,

 

 I can only imagine your sadness and broken heart. Please take this time to lean on family and friends closest to you. We’re all here praying for you as you work through the pain and confusion of your life. 
 

My only comparison to your grief is when my father died. That’s when I really started to study grief and grieving. To date the loss of my father is the deepest I’ve grieved. With that being said, it’s natural for a young adult to witness the passing of the previous generations. You lover your Mother, Father, and Siblings, but you didn’t get to pick them.
 

The love you have for a life partner is different, because you chose this partner as the person to share your life, and love. You gave her your love and heart to share a lifetime together. You picked her, she opened her heart and she shared that new love. As the two of you grew, your love became stronger, and the tough times were easier because you shared the struggle together. Change in your life continued to build on that love, even during disagreements your love endures, because you’re debating with the person who holds you like no other. As the two of you mature the relationship strengthens more, even when you faced her physical health challenges. You stayed supportive, reassuring her (the team) would get through it as a team, a couple, or one family against whatever it was. You did it for the shared love you have. Then life challenged your love even more as you chose to become the caregiver in your relationship. Even though you were going through a secret struggle of your own, you always put her first. That’s what caregivers do. Through thick and thin, ups and downs you worked it out. Love held you as a couple, because a shared burden lightens the load. Once you choose to be the caregiving partner, love helped you carry the greater portion of the family load, you did it.

 

“When someone helps another person, even though they themselves are struggling/hurting… That is Love.”-Unknown 

 

Lizzy, the pain of grief is equal to, but not greater than, the love you have for your partner. The pain is so deep, because you loved so deep. We’re all here to support one another,  and suggesting that if the current therapist is you’re seeing isn’t helpful. Finding one that is a gender therapist may be better. The same is true about grief, please lean on your family, friends, and a therapist who specializes in grief counseling. 
 

Love and Support,

 

Mindy.

Link to comment

I’m very sorry, Liz. I’m not sure there are any words that can console you. It’s okay to feel numb. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to just feel. It’s hard letting go that way. The hardest part is doing the things you shared and loves with her. Please be strong. I know you have a good therapist now but you have all us crazy ladies too. 
 

Much Love to You 🤪

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
34 minutes ago, Bri2020 said:

Guilt free milkshakes! Not even bothering with a glass. lol.

This one is Ben and Jerrys fudge brownie with mango and strawberries thrown in.

IMG_3303.jpeg

Bri, I’m with you on the guilt free, straight from the blender chocolate shake. You know more than anyone, that it’s the long game that will pay off. I hope you manage your pain, bruising, and follow up therapy with the same advice you give to your own clients.

 

Thank you for sharing.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Roxiee said:

Evening all, I'm new!

Welcome to the group. I think you will find friends here. 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you everyone. Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

Oh, I'm so sorry 😭. I know it has to feel like the world is coming to an end right now. I'm praying 🙏 for you. Remember you have friends here. 💜

Link to comment
3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I need to find that machine. I think somebody needs to build one. I am sure it would get its usage. LOL

 

Kymmie

Count me in👍

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you everyone. Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

 

I am so very sorry Liz. Again, anything I can do. Just let me know. You and Alison are very much in my thoughts right now. Just know that you are loved.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end.

 

I'm so sorry. That can't be easy, grief never is. But I'm glad you were able to be there.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Guilt free milkshakes! Not even bothering with a glass. lol.

This one is Ben and Jerrys fudge brownie with mango and strawberries thrown in.

IMG_3303.jpeg

 

Wow, both FFS and a fudge brownie mango strawberry smoothie? You lucky duck! 😁

Link to comment

So sorry Liz and I feel for you having to go thru all that.

Her pain and suffering are over and now its your time to heal.

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

 

Life is a Team Event. 
Life is an open book test. 
You can always ask for help. 
You can even be the help.

 

#OldFolkAdvice

 

Love one another.

Link to comment

I am so sorry for your loss @Elizabeth Star, I have been there and felt your pain. Right now it feels like the world is falling apart, but time and grief will heal your wounds. Be strong dear Liz lots of love from all of us. ❤️🫂

 

Big Canadian Hugs

JoniSteph

Link to comment

I really needed coffee this morning but my lower lip has swelled to the point that I couldn't even slurp from a cup. I WILL NOT BE DETERRED!  Just needed to cool it off a little and use a straw.  

Understatement of the day "I have a headache".  I tried to go through the night with just advil for pain relief. I hate and fear narcotics.  Woke up at 4am miserable.  I think I'm probably dehydrated as well which could factor in. So- Narcs, caffeine and fluids is the order of the morning.

After rush hour I'm heading back to my apartment. I had spent the last three nights recovering in a hotel next to my doctor/hospital rather than home since that's a little over an hour away. It will be good to be home.  

Side note, I've lost all faith in the security of apple's facial recognition. It recognized my face to open my banking app this morning.

Link to comment

Liz, I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep you both in my prayers. Jesus said that faith, hope and love are the three greatest gifts we've been given, snf the greatest of these is love.  it's clear you and your partner were given that gift and you should cherish the memories. Remember too that's it's okay to grieve; it's a big part of healing. I know this from my own experiences. God bless you and give you peace.

 

Marcie

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Side note, I've lost all faith in the security of apple's facial recognition. It recognized my face to open my banking app this morning.

You gotta laugh! Just be careful not to pull any stitches though. Hmm. In Stitches. Metaphor for humor?

Link to comment

Good morning everyone. I am holding together. My brother came down to stay with me for a few days so I'm not alone. Last night was the first time in well over a years I really felt the need for a drink. My brother did offer to go get a bottle but I felt it would have been a bad idea so we went out instead. we stared off at the bar I met my partner at so many years ago. Had a drink and left. We drove around for a little while and stumbled across one of our local venues and Tiffany was playing. Remember Tiffany from the 80's? Alison would have loved it so we stay for the show. I know I still have a lot of grieving to do but it was a nice distraction for the night.

 

Today I have to pull myself together and start making final arrangements for her. I always thought I would have more time.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
19 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning everyone. I am holding together. My brother came down to stay with me for a few days so I'm not alone. Last night was the first time in well over a years I really felt the need for a drink. My brother did offer to go get a bottle but I felt it would have been a bad idea so we went out instead. we stared off at the bar I met my partner at so many years ago. Had a drink and left. We drove around for a little while and stumbled across one of our local venues and Tiffany was playing. Remember Tiffany from the 80's? Alison would have loved it so we stay for the show. I know I still have a lot of grieving to do but it was a nice distraction for the night.

 

Today I have to pull myself together and start making final arrangements for her. I always thought I would have more time.

 

I'd glad you're holding it together sweetie and I'm extra glad you're not alone. Give your brother a hug for me.

 

Again, if you need anything, PM me and we'll work something out. You are very much in my thoughts right now.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 120 Guests (See full list)

    • Susan R
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...