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KymmieL

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

I'm sorry.  I know you'll miss her.

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31 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

I need to find that machine. I think somebody needs to build one. I am sure it would get its usage.

I need this !

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2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you everyone. Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

So sorry to hear this. 😥

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21 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Hey everyone. Not a good day for me. Things have gotten a lot worse for my partner. 😭😭😭

Prayers of comfort and recovery for you and your partner. 🙏🏼💔🙏🏼❤️🩹🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
 

Minndy

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4 hours ago, Roxiee said:

Evening all, I'm new!

Good evening Roxie.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Guilt free milkshakes! Not even bothering with a glass. lol.

This one is Ben and Jerrys fudge brownie with mango and strawberries thrown in.

IMG_3303.jpeg

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2 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you everyone. Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

I’m so sorry Lizzy,

 

 I can only imagine your sadness and broken heart. Please take this time to lean on family and friends closest to you. We’re all here praying for you as you work through the pain and confusion of your life. 
 

My only comparison to your grief is when my father died. That’s when I really started to study grief and grieving. To date the loss of my father is the deepest I’ve grieved. With that being said, it’s natural for a young adult to witness the passing of the previous generations. You lover your Mother, Father, and Siblings, but you didn’t get to pick them.
 

The love you have for a life partner is different, because you chose this partner as the person to share your life, and love. You gave her your love and heart to share a lifetime together. You picked her, she opened her heart and she shared that new love. As the two of you grew, your love became stronger, and the tough times were easier because you shared the struggle together. Change in your life continued to build on that love, even during disagreements your love endures, because you’re debating with the person who holds you like no other. As the two of you mature the relationship strengthens more, even when you faced her physical health challenges. You stayed supportive, reassuring her (the team) would get through it as a team, a couple, or one family against whatever it was. You did it for the shared love you have. Then life challenged your love even more as you chose to become the caregiver in your relationship. Even though you were going through a secret struggle of your own, you always put her first. That’s what caregivers do. Through thick and thin, ups and downs you worked it out. Love held you as a couple, because a shared burden lightens the load. Once you choose to be the caregiving partner, love helped you carry the greater portion of the family load, you did it.

 

“When someone helps another person, even though they themselves are struggling/hurting… That is Love.”-Unknown 

 

Lizzy, the pain of grief is equal to, but not greater than, the love you have for your partner. The pain is so deep, because you loved so deep. We’re all here to support one another,  and suggesting that if the current therapist is you’re seeing isn’t helpful. Finding one that is a gender therapist may be better. The same is true about grief, please lean on your family, friends, and a therapist who specializes in grief counseling. 
 

Love and Support,

 

Mindy.

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I’m very sorry, Liz. I’m not sure there are any words that can console you. It’s okay to feel numb. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to just feel. It’s hard letting go that way. The hardest part is doing the things you shared and loves with her. Please be strong. I know you have a good therapist now but you have all us crazy ladies too. 
 

Much Love to You 🤪

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34 minutes ago, Bri2020 said:

Guilt free milkshakes! Not even bothering with a glass. lol.

This one is Ben and Jerrys fudge brownie with mango and strawberries thrown in.

IMG_3303.jpeg

Bri, I’m with you on the guilt free, straight from the blender chocolate shake. You know more than anyone, that it’s the long game that will pay off. I hope you manage your pain, bruising, and follow up therapy with the same advice you give to your own clients.

 

Thank you for sharing.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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6 hours ago, Roxiee said:

Evening all, I'm new!

Welcome to the group. I think you will find friends here. 

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4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you everyone. Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

Oh, I'm so sorry 😭. I know it has to feel like the world is coming to an end right now. I'm praying 🙏 for you. Remember you have friends here. 💜

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3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I need to find that machine. I think somebody needs to build one. I am sure it would get its usage. LOL

 

Kymmie

Count me in👍

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4 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Thank you everyone. Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end. Her name was Alison and I will never forget her. 

 

I am so very sorry Liz. Again, anything I can do. Just let me know. You and Alison are very much in my thoughts right now. Just know that you are loved.

 

Hugs!

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5 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Today I had to say goodbye to my partner. She wasn’t in any pain and passed within minutes after the machines were turned off. I held her hand through to the end.

 

I'm so sorry. That can't be easy, grief never is. But I'm glad you were able to be there.

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2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Guilt free milkshakes! Not even bothering with a glass. lol.

This one is Ben and Jerrys fudge brownie with mango and strawberries thrown in.

IMG_3303.jpeg

 

Wow, both FFS and a fudge brownie mango strawberry smoothie? You lucky duck! 😁

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So sorry Liz and I feel for you having to go thru all that.

Her pain and suffering are over and now its your time to heal.

 

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Life is a Team Event. 
Life is an open book test. 
You can always ask for help. 
You can even be the help.

 

#OldFolkAdvice

 

Love one another.

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I am so sorry for your loss @Elizabeth Star, I have been there and felt your pain. Right now it feels like the world is falling apart, but time and grief will heal your wounds. Be strong dear Liz lots of love from all of us. ❤️🫂

 

Big Canadian Hugs

JoniSteph

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I really needed coffee this morning but my lower lip has swelled to the point that I couldn't even slurp from a cup. I WILL NOT BE DETERRED!  Just needed to cool it off a little and use a straw.  

Understatement of the day "I have a headache".  I tried to go through the night with just advil for pain relief. I hate and fear narcotics.  Woke up at 4am miserable.  I think I'm probably dehydrated as well which could factor in. So- Narcs, caffeine and fluids is the order of the morning.

After rush hour I'm heading back to my apartment. I had spent the last three nights recovering in a hotel next to my doctor/hospital rather than home since that's a little over an hour away. It will be good to be home.  

Side note, I've lost all faith in the security of apple's facial recognition. It recognized my face to open my banking app this morning.

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Liz, I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep you both in my prayers. Jesus said that faith, hope and love are the three greatest gifts we've been given, snf the greatest of these is love.  it's clear you and your partner were given that gift and you should cherish the memories. Remember too that's it's okay to grieve; it's a big part of healing. I know this from my own experiences. God bless you and give you peace.

 

Marcie

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1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

Side note, I've lost all faith in the security of apple's facial recognition. It recognized my face to open my banking app this morning.

You gotta laugh! Just be careful not to pull any stitches though. Hmm. In Stitches. Metaphor for humor?

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Good morning everyone. I am holding together. My brother came down to stay with me for a few days so I'm not alone. Last night was the first time in well over a years I really felt the need for a drink. My brother did offer to go get a bottle but I felt it would have been a bad idea so we went out instead. we stared off at the bar I met my partner at so many years ago. Had a drink and left. We drove around for a little while and stumbled across one of our local venues and Tiffany was playing. Remember Tiffany from the 80's? Alison would have loved it so we stay for the show. I know I still have a lot of grieving to do but it was a nice distraction for the night.

 

Today I have to pull myself together and start making final arrangements for her. I always thought I would have more time.

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19 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning everyone. I am holding together. My brother came down to stay with me for a few days so I'm not alone. Last night was the first time in well over a years I really felt the need for a drink. My brother did offer to go get a bottle but I felt it would have been a bad idea so we went out instead. we stared off at the bar I met my partner at so many years ago. Had a drink and left. We drove around for a little while and stumbled across one of our local venues and Tiffany was playing. Remember Tiffany from the 80's? Alison would have loved it so we stay for the show. I know I still have a lot of grieving to do but it was a nice distraction for the night.

 

Today I have to pull myself together and start making final arrangements for her. I always thought I would have more time.

 

I'd glad you're holding it together sweetie and I'm extra glad you're not alone. Give your brother a hug for me.

 

Again, if you need anything, PM me and we'll work something out. You are very much in my thoughts right now.

 

Hugs!

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