Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Jamie68]

I'm going to start electrolysis for bottom surgery soon. I don't want to have any body odors. What worked for you? 

[Becoming Diana]

Liz, I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's good that you have your brother with you at this difficult time.  I'm very spiritual and I'm sure what you described was a message.  Our loved ones have a way of letting us know they are ok. 

[Ivy]

7 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

for awhile lately I've been getting the impression she's been privately dealing with some difficult things

Same

[Willow]

Good morning,

 

coffee was a definite need this morning.  I have some projects to take care of today. Take the alternator out of my Ford and have it tested.  Then if it’s bad I’ll replace it.  If it isn’t the alternator then it’s going to get expensive to fix and that’s not going to happen. Not going to put significant money into an 18 year old beater.

 

The boat I salvaged my engine and air conditioner out of was hauled away yesterday.  Glad to be rid of the responsibility for it.  SCDNR took it off my hands and had it scrapped.  I am so thankful that they started this program.

 

boat projects include getting power to my new helm.  Adding support to the underside so no one pushes on it and accidentally breaks it. Right now it’s rather vulnerable, and where it’s located someone WILL grab it to steady themselves.  I also want to add duplicate warning lights for engine issues.  Overheat, low oil pressure, charging etc.  Lastly I am going to install a second VHF radio at the helm.  The primary is below and I can’t hear it or anything else so having one where I’ll be when sailing is important to me.  It won’t have the range of the main one.  I have a main antenna on top of the mast for it, 43 feet above the water.  This one will only be ten feet above the water so the range will be reduced.  
 

I have an appointment Friday for a Botox injection in my throat.  My wife won’t go into the procedure room with me.  For her seeing a needle being pushed into my vocal cords gets to her.  For me it’s just something that has to be done.  I’m going to ask if the frequency can be increased.  Three months is too long, for a month now ive been having frequent spasms.  Two months would have been perfect.

 

sorry about the length of this, I know not everyone likes to read long posts.

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

 

[Willow]

for awhile lately I've been getting the impression she's been privately dealing with some difficult things
 

i think if you read some of her posts around the time that she went too far for this site, she had a lot going on.  It was never clear to me if her wife had kicked her out (banished to the basement) or not.  Then there was the proposed sale of land.  Lots of things going on there.  We will never know beyond her final rant.  I hope she’s ok.

[MaryEllen]

We suspect it may have been an alcohol problem. At times she'd be ok and at other times, she'd be off the wall. We try to keep this site a safe and friendly place for all of our members. Whatever the cause of her behavior, we couldn't allow her to continue. 

 

MaryEllen

[Jackie C.]

5 hours ago, Willow said:

have an appointment Friday for a Botox injection in my throat.  My wife won’t go into the procedure room with me.  For her seeing a needle being pushed into my vocal cords gets to her.  For me it’s just something that has to be done.  I’m going to ask if the frequency can be increased.  Three months is too long, for a month now ive been having frequent spasms.  Two months would have been perfect.

 

In all fairness to your wife, there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I could watch that either. I'm shuddering just thinking about it. Nope. Nope. Nope.

 

Hugs!

[KymmieL]

Anymore things like that make me squeamish.  Where it never did before. Same with heights,  used to never bother me now. My stomach reacts to some heights on pictures/videos. 

 

Kymmie 

[Jackie C.]

38 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

Anymore things like that make me squeamish.  Where it never did before. Same with heights,  used to never bother me now. My stomach reacts to some heights on pictures/videos. 

 

Kymmie 

 

I've always been afraid of heights too. Weirdly, I am no longer afraid of spiders.

 

Hugs!

[Willow]

Well @Jackie C. and @KymmieL no worries.  The doctors office called and canceled.  The doctor is ill.  What you have to understand is that this is all related to my throat cancer. She injects lidocaine first so while I feel the pushing I don’t actually feel the needle or the injections and I can’t see it.  So to be not only is it no big deal, but it brings me relief so bring it on!

 

But, I can understand someone being squeamish but these days I’m past that.  If my 6 year old granddaughter could go through what she went through with no complaints, who am I to complain.  Is all relevant.

 

live you girls

 

Willow

[Jamie68]

12 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

I'm going to start electrolysis for bottom surgery soon. I don't want to have any body odors. What worked for you? 

No one responded to this. May have been too personal. If so, I'm sorry. I found this at Walmart. Think I'll try it. I don't have an abnormal problem by the way, just don't want to offend anyone working on me. Kind of like what your mom told you when you were little, "always wear clean underwear when you go to the doctor"

[Guest]

35 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

No one responded to this. May have been too personal. If so, I'm sorry. I found this at Walmart. Think I'll try it. I don't have an abnormal problem by the way, just don't want to offend anyone working on me. Kind of like what your mom told you when you were little, "always wear clean underwear when you go to the doctor"

My electrologist lady complains about smelly cracks. This looks like a good product.

[Jamie68]

9 minutes ago, Erica Gabriel said:

My electrologist lady complains about smelly cracks. This looks like a good product.

Thanks 👍

[Jamie68]

11 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

Thanks 👍

You know, if I had to work on that area for a living, I would have an exhaust fan inlet right under the area kind of what we used for welding. 

[Aggie1]

5 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

I don't have an abnormal problem by the way, just don't want to offend anyone working on me. Kind of like what your mom told you when you were little, "always wear clean underwear when you go to the doctor"

My electrologist told us about a lady who keeps ferrets as pets and said she has a gag response whenever she has to work on her because the smell clings to her clothes! I hope she wasn’t trying to tell me something! I was wearing clean underwear!

[Aggie1]

Putting this on my watch list.

 

Jan. 25, 2022, 2:37 PM PST

By Variety

Barbara Gordon has officially found her roommate.

Ivory Aquino (“Tales of the City,” “When We Rise”) has been cast in the HBO Max feature film “Batgirl” as Alysia Yeoh, the best friend of the titular superhero, a.k.a. Barbara Gordon (Leslie Grace).

 

Both Aquino and Yeoh are transgender, marking the first time a live-action feature film adaptation of a DC Comics title will feature an openly trans character. Yeoh first appeared in a 2011 issue of “Batgirl” written by Gail Simone and penciled by Ardian Syaf.

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Aggie1 said:

My electrologist told us about a lady who keeps ferrets as pets and said she has a gag response whenever she has to work on her because the smell clings to her clothes! I hope she wasn’t trying to tell me something! I was wearing clean underwear!

That's BAD. People get used to their own smells. I didn't realize I had any kind of smell "down there" till I was on HRT. I know a retired massage therapist who would light sage in the room to assure a good atmosphere in both senses of the word.

[Jamie68]

Well, the 24 hour odor block didn't work. I used it before bed last night and woke up this morning with a chemical smell, like the cottinelle personal wipes do. The Vagisil personal cleansing wipes works better. (Lilac) scent. I guess I'll have to Google it. 

[Jackie C.]

57 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

Well, the 24 hour odor block didn't work. I used it before bed last night and woke up this morning with a chemical smell, like the cottinelle personal wipes do. The Vagisil personal cleansing wipes works better. (Lilac) scent. I guess I'll have to Google it. 

 

I've used summer breeze, but that's mostly because it's what my surgeon gave me after GCS.

 

Hugs!

[Elizabeth Star]

Good morning everyone.

Every day I get better and things get easier. Having my brother here for the last few days has really helped but I know I have to move forward. I don't know what to do with myself now that I have a lot of free time. I did run into an issue with our bank account that created the need for me to open a new one. Since our bank was so small and we had been with them for so long they know a lot of what has been going on in our lives. Although they seem ok knowing I'm trans, I still have the desire to only be seen as just another woman. Yesterday I ended up opening a new account elsewhere.

 

The personal banker I met with asked me some basic yet friendly questions about what brings me there. Not really wanting to go into detail I just explained that my partner passed away and I was struggling with seeing her name on the account. That opened the door for idle chit-chat while she worked. Honestly, it was really nice. If I was working with a guy it probably would have been done 10 minutes; it ended up taking around 45. When she was enter my name into the system she noticed that my middle name is Star and asked if I prefer that over Elizabeth. All I could say is that I'd never been asked that before. I'm sure I got clocked as a lesbian pretty quick since I got to hear about how she dated a woman for five years but is now pregnant and with a man. Apparently her and a close friend have a thing with talking about how dumb guys can be. the small talk just went on for so long. I loved every minute of it and doubt it would have been nearly as engaging if I was a guy.

 

In the evening my brother and I decided to go out for dinner. It took a while to find a place with an open dining room. we ended up at a local Italian restaurant. A dimly lit dining area with a candle on the table, I thought OMG this feels like I'm on a date. As we ate I realized that although we knew what was really going on our sever probably ha her own thoughts. So when the bill came she put it in front of my brother. I quickly snatched it up, looked at the server and said  can buy my brother dinner once in a while. Even though she didn't say anything I could see that 'now I get it' look on her face.

 

I know it's only been a few days but I do feel the need to start trying to get back to a normal life. Well..., as normal as it can be at least. The world doesn't stop turning and I know I'll have my moments but I'll work through the feelings and pick up the pieces as I go. I'm going to try getting back to work tomorrow. Even if I only make it a few hours it's still a step forward.

 

I need something to do with my time so I'm going to look for a local lgbt group to meet with.  Just somewhere I can go to meet and hang out with people.

 

[Jackie C.]

That sounds really healthy @Elizabeth Star. I'm glad you're making an effort to move along. I highly recommend finding a lesbian group or three to hook up with. I'm part of several and I've never felt more accepted or at peace.

 

Hugs!

[Elizabeth Star]

3 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

That sounds really healthy @Elizabeth Star. I'm glad you're making an effort to move along. I highly recommend finding a lesbian group or three to hook up with. I'm part of several and I've never felt more accepted or at peace.

 

Hugs!

I'm gonna be honest. I have no idea how to find a lesbian specific group. Google is not being very helpful.

[Jackie C.]

Just now, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm gonna be honest. I have no idea how to find a lesbian specific group. Google is not being very helpful.

 

My suggestion is to try either Meetups or hit up your local LGBTQ+ center. Both have been very helpful.

 

Hugs!

[Jamie68]

33 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Good morning everyone.

Every day I get better and things get easier. Having my brother here for the last few days has really helped but I know I have to move forward. I don't know what to do with myself now that I have a lot of free time. I did run into an issue with our bank account that created the need for me to open a new one. Since our bank was so small and we had been with them for so long they know a lot of what has been going on in our lives. Although they seem ok knowing I'm trans, I still have the desire to only be seen as just another woman. Yesterday I ended up opening a new account elsewhere.

 

The personal banker I met with asked me some basic yet friendly questions about what brings me there. Not really wanting to go into detail I just explained that my partner passed away and I was struggling with seeing her name on the account. That opened the door for idle chit-chat while she worked. Honestly, it was really nice. If I was working with a guy it probably would have been done 10 minutes; it ended up taking around 45. When she was enter my name into the system she noticed that my middle name is Star and asked if I prefer that over Elizabeth. All I could say is that I'd never been asked that before. I'm sure I got clocked as a lesbian pretty quick since I got to hear about how she dated a woman for five years but is now pregnant and with a man. Apparently her and a close friend have a thing with talking about how dumb guys can be. the small talk just went on for so long. I loved every minute of it and doubt it would have been nearly as engaging if I was a guy.

 

In the evening my brother and I decided to go out for dinner. It took a while to find a place with an open dining room. we ended up at a local Italian restaurant. A dimly lit dining area with a candle on the table, I thought OMG this feels like I'm on a date. As we ate I realized that although we knew what was really going on our sever probably ha her own thoughts. So when the bill came she put it in front of my brother. I quickly snatched it up, looked at the server and said  can buy my brother dinner once in a while. Even though she didn't say anything I could see that 'now I get it' look on her face.

 

I know it's only been a few days but I do feel the need to start trying to get back to a normal life. Well..., as normal as it can be at least. The world doesn't stop turning and I know I'll have my moments but I'll work through the feelings and pick up the pieces as I go. I'm going to try getting back to work tomorrow. Even if I only make it a few hours it's still a step forward.

 

I need something to do with my time so I'm going to look for a local lgbt group to meet with.  Just somewhere I can go to meet and hang out with people.

 

Sounds to me like you're handling this pretty well. I hope you really are. I wish I had advice for you other than to keep busy. Please be safe. Might be a good time to take a class or start a new hobby. Hang in there. We're here for you. 💜

[Elizabeth Star]

7 minutes ago, Jamie68 said:

Sounds to me like you're handling this pretty well. I hope you really are. I wish I had advice for you other than to keep busy. Please be safe. Might be a good time to take a class or start a new hobby. Hang in there. We're here for you. 💜

I am honestly doing better. Losing her didn't come as a surprise to anyone. She had been sick with PAH for many years. She was initially diagnosed with Group 5: (Pulmonary Hypertension Due to Unknown Causes) at the end of 2018 and it wasn't until last year that it was determined that she was actually group 1 and lung transplant would fix it. By this point she was so tired. Tired of the meds making her sick, tired of not being able to go out and have fun, tired of hiding from covid and just tired of not having a life. We cried so much over the years knowing the end was relatively near and even if she got the transplant it would have been a constant battle to survive for a minimal gain. she's finally at peace, no more pain and suffering.

 

As far as hobbies and stuff. I'm still trying to figure out what I actually do and don't like. I've realized that a lot of what I did was nothing more than a hyper-masculine cover. For now I'm exploring my new world.