Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Heather Nicole]

5 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

It has just dawned on me that I'm a carpenter, woodworker and general DIY'er and if I can't figure out how to make that pin sans the the trans colors, I might as well turn in my craftsman card.  (I know craftsman isn't actually gendered but that felt dirty to type...  eeewww!)

 

I'm not very handy with those sorts of things, but I know there are places online you can order non-bulk custom-designed items at reasonable prices (stickers, mugs, shirts, etc. Probably pins too I would think). I've been thinking of firing up the ol' image editor on the computer and come up with something simple to send in and order. I'm no graphic designer, but I've been able to muddle my way through things like Photoshop/Gimp/etc before...

 

5 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Just going to throw this out there for those facing name issues. You can get a court order for a name change but not use that name everywhere. You have the order to use in the places that you want to be addressed with your new name.  Tax people don't care what your name is, just your #.  banks can receive direct deposits with a different name, etc etc. The only place it will crop up is once you start changing legal IDs they kinda have to match for W-2/new job, passports, security clearances etc. People use alias in legitimate applications all the time.

 

 

You know, while logically I might have kinda known that, I have to admit it really hadn't fully sunk in. I'd been figuring I'd start my official name-change stuff once I'm already out everywhere and full-time, but maybe I'll find it might turn out better to do it more the other way around. That'll be a good option I'll have to keep in mind.

 

7 hours ago, CD Rachel said:

My mental and emotional state is very chaotic right now at best. I am flying high one minute and uncontrollably sobbing the next. Going to back down on the HRT for a couple days to see if I can stabilize this. The funny thing I have always been over emotional but I have always been able to clamp down on my feelings and chain them up in the corner. I am not sure if the wild emotions right now are just the HRT or if it is Rachel trying to learn how to deal with the things that I have been suppressing all of my life.

 

I've been wondering whether I might be getting a little bit of this, too, although admittedly to a lesser degree from the sound of it. I can definitely relate very much to the part about having always been a quite emotional, but always, as you said, kept it clamped firmly down. (As a teen, I saw Spock and the Vulcans as big role models!)

 

My dysphoria's been up a bit lately, but then it always does get worse for me when the winter's over and the weather, eventually...gets nicer. It's because of all the young women out in the lighter, comfier-looking (and more revealing) summer wardrobes. It's funny how imagery you've always found incredibly beautiful can be so incredibly painful at the same time (cue "Paint it Black"! lol!) Speaking of which, I may have to start avoiding Target - it seems to be the favored shopping place of attractive young women around here. Last time I was there I needed a bit of a cry break by the time I got back to the car. Took at least a couple more errands before I'd really started to shake that feeling. Maybe the E was part of it, but then I have had that happen even before the E, too.

 

That actually seems to be a fair summary of how I'm feeling on E so far - Very hard to put my emotional state into words simply because, I can't for the life of me tell whether or not I'm feeling any different. There are things that might be a little different (like the occasional "happy" or "content" maybe feeling a little more genuine and real). But they're soo subtle I could easily just be imagining the changes I'm expecting to feel. Well, luckily my next bloodtest is coming up in a couple weeks. I always look forward to that. And in this case maybe it might provide some insight into how likely these things may be one way or the other.

 

[KymmieL]

9 hours ago, Willow said:

I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t promised to not change my name. I can see that as being an issue with life.  For example I can’t use my credit or debit card without giving away my dead name.  I got called sir yesterday at the grocery store.  Fully dressed with makeup.  Why? Because the only thing she noticed was the name on my debit card.  I do admit I don’t always remember to use my female voice register.  I’ve got to be better about that.

 

Willow

What about getting an additional card issued to WIllow? I have thought about that.

 

Kymmie

[Willow]

Hi @KymmieL t tried to do that, they refused.  Master card said they were going to allow a card issued in another name but they haven’t worked it out yet.  Originally said this year but it’s not looking that good right now.  If they start offering it that’s our one hope.

 

Willow

 

[MirandaB]

Good morning!

 

Yesterday on a beautiful day on our trip to San Francisco i took a walk over to the Transgender District to allow some paint and some banners to make me feel proud to be me. 

[Guest]

11 hours ago, Willow said:

Hi @KymmieL t tried to do that, they refused.  Master card said they were going to allow a card issued in another name but they haven’t worked it out yet.  Originally said this year but it’s not looking that good right now.  If they start offering it that’s our one hope.

 

Willow

 

Wow, that's weird. I went into my bank account, pulled up the credit cards, added another user with "her" phone number, and the card was sent in a week. Katie now has the convenience of a new Visa credit card. I could do the same thing for my Mastercard account. They do not ask and you do not have to tell. You just add "another person" to your account. The merchants could care less. 

[Guest]

12 hours ago, KymmieL said:

What about getting an additional card issued to WIllow? I have thought about that.

 

Kymmie

Of all of the pronouns out there, I absolutely despise this "sir" crap. They could call me an expletive and I would be happier. Lately I have taken to just looking at them, cocking my head and saying "Really, do I look like a knight from old England with my earrings, makeup, nail polish, and female clothing, really?" Just love that bewildered look on their face. The other thing is if I am given the "sir" treatment, the tip is gone. 

[Guest]

I would add, if the server is particularly nice to me, they get a great tip. I was recently in Gillette Wyoming and ate at a steak place down town and the server was so nice and friendly. She asked me about my nails and eyelashes (she liked them a lot), and was really attentive. I had no problem dropping a 35% tip. 

[Ivy]

37 minutes ago, Katie23 said:

I absolutely despise this "sir" crap. They could call me an expletive and I would be happier.

Yeah.  "Sir" is particularly grating to hear.  

 

13 hours ago, KymmieL said:

What about getting an additional card issued to WIllow? I have thought about that.

I didn't know you could do this.  I was thinking you'd still need an ID…  But then, practically no one ever asks for one.  

[KymmieL]

43 minutes ago, Jandi said:

Yeah.  "Sir" is particularly grating to hear.  

like nails on a chalkboard. I get it all the time at work. Makes me cringe.

 

Fencometer is showing 40. quite a change from yesterday waking up in Lincoln, NE. shorts weather. 80s over the weekend there.

 

Was a great trip the wagon ran flawlessly. I however need to get the A/C put back in.

 

Another weird one, Friday night we hit the pool and hot tub to relax. We get back to our room after a shower. My wife asks me to braid her hair. Then she offers to braid mine.  mind you that she is 57 and never learned the proper way to braid hair. but she makes a half way decent attempt. I take that as another step forward in acceptance.

 

My son and daughter in law never said anything about transgender the whole weekend. 😁

 

Saturday evening, my son rents Sing 2. All through the movie I have a cuddle bug, my granddaughter cuddles right next to me the whole movie. It was fantastic.

 

Have a great holiday everyone. Remember the fallen.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[Marcie Jensen]

2 hours ago, Katie23 said:

Of all of the pronouns out there, I absolutely despise this "sir" crap. They could call me an expletive and I would be happier. Lately I have taken to just looking at them, cocking my head and saying "Really, do I look like a knight from old England with my earrings, makeup, nail polish, and female clothing, really?" Just love that bewildered look on their face. The other thing is if I am given the "sir" treatment, the tip is gone. 

Good for you! @Katie23that's the best response I've heard of. ANd, as to the whole "sir" thing, I agree with eveyone--being called sir while is awful. I simply refuse to respond to it.

[Vidanjali]

On 5/28/2022 at 11:33 AM, Ticket For Epic said:

 

 

On 5/28/2022 at 9:01 PM, Ticket For Epic said:

@Heather Nicole I sort of wish it didn't have the trans colors but I feel like only trans (is trans the plural for trans?  I feel like it should be.) and allies would recognize it and possibly rabid members of "team terf".

 

If you want to add layers of obscurity, may I interest you in a nice "John Dowland with lute" tee shirt? 

 

He penned the song from which the phrase is taken, I believe. Listen from 2:20 and you'll hear the verse. 

 

[Vidanjali]

On 5/28/2022 at 7:22 PM, Astrid said:

 

@Vidanjali--

 

Wait!  You're talented as an artist...and you're certainly a talented writer.  So...I've got a new career direction for you!

Drum roll...ART CRITIC!!

 

(Ducking to avoid the first object near to you that you're throwing at me when you read this 🤪)

 

Have fun as you discern what lies ahead!

 

Astrid

 

😳🤣 I'll be able to use such words as "pedantic!" "puerile!" "derivative!", or on the other hand, "scintillating!" and a particular fave, "TRANScendent!" LOL. Honestly, one thing I'll be glad to leave behind with the academic profession is the role of "judge".

[Vidanjali]

@JustineM I'm so sorry you had that upsetting experience. Such disgusting behavior. I wish you ever increasing peace of mind. 

 

@RhondaS beautiful picture! 😍

[Ticket For Epic]

3 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

He penned the song from which the phrase is taken, I believe. Listen from 2:20 and you'll hear the verse. 

Had to listen a couple to times to hear it but there it is!   Ha!

 

  Is this a well known reference in the community?    

[Astrid]

6 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

Honestly, one thing I'll be glad to leave behind with the academic profession is the role of "judge".

 

yes, Yes, YES!!!  And the stigma of being judged by department heads and committees who expect you to conform to their preferences and play by their rules of the tenure game (and/or have no intention of treating instructors and newly minted PhDs with fairness).

 

Also, it took me longer than I expected to rid myself of academic learned behaviors. In particular, it took me three years after leaving academia to be able to relearn the craft of writing with simplicity and clarity: to refrain from gratuitous buzzwords; to stop creating articles with too-long titles that contained colons 😏; and to take the time to craft something that was shorter (and therefore easier to digest and understand).

 

Pretentiousness is overrated🙂,

 

Astrid

 

 

[Mary]

19 hours ago, Katie23 said:

Of all of the pronouns out there, I absolutely despise this "sir" crap. They could call me an expletive and I would be happier. Lately I have taken to just looking at them, cocking my head and saying "Really, do I look like a knight from old England with my earrings, makeup, nail polish, and female clothing, really?" Just love that bewildered look on their face. The other thing is if I am given the "sir" treatment, the tip is gone. 

Even "Hey you!" is more acceptable! 😁 

[Mmindy]

Good morning, everyone, the coffee is strong, because I stayed up way past my normal bedtime to watch the Tau Herculid meteor shower. One real bright streaking meteor lit up early, 15 lessor ones kept me out there looking up for another hour. Several with long duration burns, the rest were quick streaks and gone.

 

So I hope everyone out there thinking today is Monday remembered to take their Tuesday meds.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

Today is walk trough day.  Yeah!

 

if you don’t like Sir and Ma’am, don’t move to the south.  If you don’t like slow check out lines as if you are old friends having a get together, don’t move to the south.  Culture shock!

 

Kymmie, I guess I went about it the wrong way, I asked, I didn’t just do it.

 

according to my equivalent to the fence-o-meter it’s 82 going to 95.  It’s still spring but summer is definitely here.

 

Walk-through today.  Finally, the light at the end of a very long tunnel.  When she signed our letter of intent, it was to be finished October 2021, but we were told realistically expect late November.  It’s June tomorrow, one year after we put up a deposit and still not in it.

 

I’m told next week maybe for closing.  But we have to go to Virginia at the end of the week, so if they’re aren’t ready by Wednesday it will be mid June. Very aggravating for sure.

 

Willow

[Ivy]

5 minutes ago, Willow said:

When she signed our letter of intent, it was to be finished October 2021, but we were told realistically expect late November.  It’s June tomorrow, one year after we put up a deposit and still not in it.

I know this has been frustrating to the max.

[Vidanjali]

17 hours ago, Ticket For Epic said:

Is this a well known reference in the community?    

 

I was not familiar with it - had to look it up, but then again, I'm not engaged in the variety of vocal training tailored to transition. In grad school, one of the vocal performance profs liked to warm us up with "how high the sky". I still use it to warm up my higher range. 

 

13 hours ago, Astrid said:

Also, it took me longer than I expected to rid myself of academic learned behaviors.

 

Pretentiousness is overrated🙂

 

Lol, I hear ya! And yes, it most certainly is - turns out the intellect is not where it's at...

 

2 hours ago, Willow said:

if you don’t like Sir and Ma’am, don’t move to the south.

 

Sooo much "ma'am-ing" even in South Florida which is south of the "South of the South" (i.e. North/Central Florida). It grates on me, but what can you do. I have no plans to relocate any time soon. 

 

So, dear friends. I hope you're all well today. I was about to write to say I have a re-evaluation with the physical therapist doctor today. I had written a few months ago (maybe in a different thread) that I had a meltdown last time I worked with her (have been working in the interim with a different PT on her staff) because of her (from my perspective) excessive use of gendered language. The meltdown culminated in her directing me to use "grown up girl posture" last time I worked with her. As I was about to write to y'all to share that I plan to come out to her today for my own sanity, she called me to ask me something. I took the opportunity to tell her I'm enby over the phone. She was totally cool about it. She asked for my pronouns and assured me that she wants me to correct her if she unwittingly says the wrong thing. Then, she said something like, "I'm here for you, girl!" I told her that's an example of something I'd like her not to say, and she was true to her word & thanked me for the correction. She changed my gender to X, and pronouns to they/them in my chart. So! Feeling a lot of relief. Now, I can arrive at my appt ready to work without worrying about addressing this. She is a brilliant PT doc who specializes in EDS (she herself has EDS and rehabbed herself out of a wheelchair). So, I really need to work with her - ppl actually travel from out of state to see her. Lucky for me, she's one town away & super lucky she is an ally. 

[Jackie C.]

55 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

Lucky for me, she's one town away & super lucky she is an ally. 

 

Super happy for you @Vidanjali! Most of my NB friends say, "any pronouns," but I think it's absolutely important to get it right. I'm glad your PT feels the same way.

 

Hugs!

[Betty_B]

afternoon everyone

 

i guess my nails are my girl strength ,,,, had a problem with cracking  had to cut them off, now im depressed and dont want to go out till i can grow them back , truth is i feel ugly now ,, 

 going to back to hiding now, dont want any one to see me ,,

 

                     so low

                          Betty

 

[Mmindy]

1 hour ago, Betty_B said:

my nails are my girl strength ,,,, had a problem with cracking 

Good afternoon Betty_B,

My wife had no idea what a monster she created when she set us up for mani/pedi appointments back in January. I started off with Jell Coats, and they did wonderfully until I started back in the shop building things. On my next visit to the nail salon, I asked about getting stronger coatings? They recommended having them dipped. I'm here to tell you that dipped nail coatings are shop tested, and shop approved. I still have jell coats put on my toes, but my nails are dipped. Regular drugstore cardboard nail files, won't touch these babies. You need to have salon quality files to trim them back and shape them.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋💅🏻

[Jackie C.]

28 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

Good afternoon Betty_B,

My wife had no idea what a monster she created when she set us up for mani/pedi appointments back in January. I started off with Jell Coats, and they did wonderfully until I started back in the shop building things. On my next visit to the nail salon, I asked about getting stronger coatings? They recommended having them dipped. I'm here to tell you that dipped nail coatings are shop tested, and shop approved. I still have jell coats put on my toes, but my nails are dipped. Regular drugstore cardboard nail files, won't touch these babies. You need to have salon quality files to trim them back and shape them.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋💅🏻

 

Oh! I wonder if those will hold up to the gym. I don't like my nails looking ratty either.

 

Hugs!

[Mmindy]

@Jackie C.and @Betty_B I promise you, no one is harder on nails than me in the metal shop. These dipped nails 💅🏻 hold up to wrenches, pipe threaders, and grinding wheels.