Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

The downside is that although my weight has stayed the same, my BMI (due to height change) puts me in the overweight category and according to the charts  I need to lose 15 pounds to get my bmi back to where it was. I find this all pretty fascinating.

Hmmmm….   Kinda makes me wonder about BMI.

[Bri2020]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

In another thread I mentioned how I'm almost 2 inches shorter then I was 2.5 years ago. Most likely from pelvic tilt and softening of ligaments and other connecting tissues. It think it was caused by two factors. One obviously is HRT but the other could easily be from excessively wearing heels. Rarely, these days, do I wear anything with less then a 3-4 inch heels. Sometimes up to 6 inch.  I did some quick research and found that when wearing high heels your pelvis has to tilt in order for you to stand up straight and keep proper balance. Since I almost exclusively wear heels it would make sense that my body it now adapted and kind of stuck that way . The downside is that although my weight has stayed the same, my BMI (due to height change) puts me in the overweight category and according to the charts  I need to lose 15 pounds to get my bmi back to where it was. I find this all pretty fascinating.

BMI is a 200 year old formula that was created to help the government determine rates of obesity in a population as a whole, it was never intended to be an individual assessment. Somehow, that notion got corrupted but it is absolutely bogus.  https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106268439#:~:text=The BMI was introduced in,the government in allocating resources.

As for heels and pelvic tilt.  Absolutely puts you body into an anterior pelvic tilt.  Eventually, after years of compensation, it will get "stuck" there. It can be corrected through physical therapy but you would also have to stop wearing heels ALL the time. Occasional would be ok.  Pelvic tilts (anterior or posterior) put an undo amount of pressure on one side of the lover vertebral disks which leads to deterioration of the spine (arthritis), and deterioration and or herniation of the disk.  If you don't want to have back issues, vary your shoe height regularly. Nothing wrong with stylish flats or 1/2" wedges.

 

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

well, maybe.  I didn’t get s lot of sleep last night. I slept until about 1:30 am, then it got rough after that.  Sweetie (our dog) kept snuggling which is ok, but if I stopped petting her she’d push my hand back and wake me up wanting more.  What do you tell a big dog that wants attention?  T told her several times to stop or rolled over but she just climbed over me.moved to the edge, she still managed to get to my face.  Oh well, she is the best dog we’ve ever had.

 

@Elizabeth Star at my last bone density check I’d shrunk 2 inches.  In my case it’s age related and arthritis.  I don’t wear heels.  Yes my bmi took a hit too.  I’m supposed to take calcium and vitamin D3 daily.

 

Living on the boat, my weight took a hit as well, 10 pounds up when I was trying to get 10 more off.  I’ll get it straightened out now that we have a real kitchen.  Now where did my wife hide the pots and pans?  

 

@Mary you mentioned more sophisticated ways dietitians use to measure body fat and gender based.  Well, how do they account for us?  What about pre and post surgery verses medically?  I'm just trying to get a better understanding since the medical profession seems to place an emphasis on BMI.  I’ve also seen age adjusted BMI charts that “aren’t considered official.”

 

Had my coffee in my Donald Duck mug today.  It’s always better in the Duck!

 

guess I should get moving.  Things aren’t going to move themselves.

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

 

[Jackie C.]

18 minutes ago, Willow said:

@Mary you mentioned more sophisticated ways dietitians use to measure body fat and gender based.  Well, how do they account for us?  What about pre and post surgery verses medically?  I'm just trying to get a better understanding since the medical profession seems to place an emphasis on BMI.  I’ve also seen age adjusted BMI charts that “aren’t considered official.”

 

BMI is honestly a terrible way to determine if you're a healthy weight. You're right that the medical profession emphasizes that, but it's because it's EASY. Really it's about body composition. The downside to that is that to calculate that, you need better equipment that most places don't actually have. The top of the line is a body scanner, like an MRI, that calculates your body composition. They're stupid expensive and take a lot of space so you won't see one very often. You can also do calculations based on weight vs. water displacement, X-Rays, etc... they all take up a lot of space and require special equipment though. It's way easier to run height, weight and sex through a formula and declare someone fat.

 

As an example of why this is flawed, my mom is 5'3" and 112 pounds. Her body fat is below 5% and she, frankly, looks like a super-hero. According to BMI, she's obese.

 

Hugs!

[Heather Nicole]

Not transition-related, but I think my height dropped by maybe as much as an inch a few years ago (probably actually less than an inch, but rounding out to the nearest inch, it went from 6'1" to 6'0 - or as I like to call it, 5'12"). Apparently, what happened was my ankles started turning inward. Arch support is now more important for me than ever, even if it does cancel out much of the height decrease.

 

It's interesting the ways a person's height can decrease. Too bad none of them seem to be healthy ways!

 

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

As an example of why this is flawed, my mom is 5'3" and 112 pounds. Her body fat is below 5% and she, frankly, looks like a super-hero. According to BMI, she's obese.

 

Based on what you've said about her workouts, I'm not surprised. BMI makes no distinction between weight from fat vs weight from muscle, so I'd imagine pretty much any body builder would be assumed "obese" going by BMI. If muscle weighs more than fat, that just makes the inaccuracy all the worse.

 

I have a scale that claims to tell you percentages of body fat vs muscle vs...something else I think, but I don't have much faith in its accuracy.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

Based on what you've said about her workouts, I'm not surprised. BMI makes no distinction between weight from fat vs weight from muscle, so I'd imagine pretty much any body builder would be assumed "obese" going by BMI. If muscle weighs more than fat, that just makes the inaccuracy all the worse.

 

Exactly. If you've put on some muscle, BMI reads it as fat and muscle is more dense than fat so...

 

1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

I have a scale that claims to tell you percentages of body fat vs muscle vs...something else I think, but I don't have much faith in its accuracy.

 

I don't see how it could do that unless it's exposing you to completely unacceptable levels of radiation every time you step on.

 

Hugs!

[Davie]

Perhaps the best device for measuring body fat content is a mirror, unless you're like me. I can spot fat on a toothpick. 💜

— Davie

[Marcie Jensen]

1 hour ago, Davie said:

Perhaps the best device for measuring body fat content is a mirror, unless you're like me. I can spot fat on a toothpick. 💜

— Davie

Back in the day, the Army had a pretty good test for body fat percentage. It involved measuring the circumference of the neck, followed by the waist at  the navel. Repeat this twice more, obtain the average of the the neck and waist measurements, some long division, and consulting a chart that they had based on height, followed by more long division, which somehow calculated body fat percentages accurately. Not sure if it really worked, but they used it for the entire 20+ years I was in...

[Ivy]

I'm pooped.  I just spent the entire afternoon rearranging my living room for the 3rd time this year.  I would have never done this a few years ago.

[KymmieL]

Well just got in from working on running the power wire for my air compressor. Big PITA.

 

I cannot help but feel good when I get some word on the purchase of the house. It is going to be a life long dream come true when it happens. owning my own house. I think the only thing that would top this would be me being able to continue my transition with the wife's blessing.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[Elizabeth Star]

I made a new friend today. It's someone who works at a local store. I had met her a couple of weeks ago and she seemed friendly enough so the few times I ran into her we would start up a conversation. Today I saw her again and out of the blue she gave me a hug and told me she was changing positions. It was interesting to say the least, she complimented me on my outfit and hair but then I realized due to the change in her job I might not see her again so I went out on a limb and asked if she wanted to trade numbers and she was super excited about it (the little things)  but it got me thinking. This women is definitely straight (married with kids) and almost certainly has no clue I'm trans. I'm torn whether I should tell her or not, I mean like ever bring it up. I don't think it'll be an issue since I have no intention of trying to date her or anything. For now I'm going to just let it be but it could possibly be an issue later on. I also don't know anything about her feeling on the LGBTQIA+ community.

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

It is going to be a life long dream come true when it happens. owning my own house.

Owning you home is a blessing.  My house is pretty rough, but it is mine.  Not having a landlord is extremely liberating.  

Of course you still have to deal with taxes etc.  But at least you can hang stuff on the walls.

 

This house was a candidate for the Fire Dept. to practice on when we got it.  (it was cheap). But it's been home for 40+yrs.  5 of my kids were born in it, and my mother died in it.  I will just say that they'll have to drag me out of it.

 

Maybe it's a bad thing to be tied to one place, I can't say.  But it is what it is.  Roots, I guess.

[Artpetal]

3 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

This women is definitely straight (married with kids) and almost certainly has no clue I'm trans. I'm torn whether I should tell her or not, I mean like ever bring it up. 

In my experience, ciswomen aren't interested in talking about trans struggles or emotions unless they bring it up first - she might be the first one to say something IF she knows. People can be VERY uncommunicative so I'm not sure if she will express her thoughts. Congrats on making a new friend.

[Heather Nicole]

1 hour ago, Jandi said:

Maybe it's a bad thing to be tied to one place, I can't say.  But it is what it is.  Roots, I guess.

 

It's only bad if it doesn't work for you. Certainly sounds like it's working for you. Nothing wrong with roots 👍

[Bri2020]

12 hours ago, KymmieL said:

It is going to be a life long dream come true when it happens. owning my own house. I think the only thing that would top this would be me being able to continue my transition with the wife's blessing.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

Obviously I believe almost everyone should pursue home ownership since I'm in real estate but I believed that even before. Name one wealthy (or upper middle class) person who doesn't own their home (or many more R.E. investments. ). Home ownership is the basis for acquire wealth. Paying rent is just making someone else wealthier.  A lot of people assume they can't get a home but with a little financial planning and creativity, plus first time buyers programs/VA/FHA therweays into it. Also, people get stuck saying they can't afford what they want. I tell them you have to start with what do I absolutely need. Get that smaller place and suck it up for 5 years and build equity then leverage that for a bigger place (and hopefully keep the first one to rent to someone).  I am absolutely miserable right now living in an apartment mostly because I HATE paying rent. Losing my house in a divorce just after posting Covid business losses was the worst timing and I just have to wait until my tax situation is cleaner (next spring) 

I'm so happy this finally came together for you Kymmie.  Make sure the whole fam takes some time to care for yourselves during the transition to a new place since it's one of life's most stressful events.  You're living the "American Dream"!!

9 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm torn whether I should tell her or not, I mean like ever bring it up. I don't think it'll be an issue since I have no intention of trying to date her or anything. For now I'm going to just let it be but it could possibly be an issue later on. I also don't know anything about her feeling on the LGBTQIA+ community.

I don't think you should worry about it. I'm sure she knows (or at least suspects). If your friendship develops it will come up naturally at some point.  Here's the thing with having women friends: They care about how you are, how you're feeling, what you're going through.  It natural to talk on a deeper level with girl friends.  Obviously, there is a lot of -crap- going on in our lives when we transition and true girl friends want to help and support.  I LOVE being part of the girls club for that reason. ....Also, I think you need more cis-hetero women in your life Lizzy .  Actually, I think we all do....

[Jackie C.]

12 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

This women is definitely straight (married with kids) and almost certainly has no clue I'm trans.

 

I feel like I should point out that she could be bi, pan or questioning too. I've got LOTS of bi/lesbian/pan friends who are/were married and have kids.

 

Hugs!

[stveee]

12 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I made a new friend today. It's someone who works at a local store. I had met her a couple of weeks ago and she seemed friendly enough so the few times I ran into her we would start up a conversation. Today I saw her again and out of the blue she gave me a hug and told me she was changing positions. It was interesting to say the least, she complimented me on my outfit and hair but then I realized due to the change in her job I might not see her again so I went out on a limb and asked if she wanted to trade numbers and she was super excited about it (the little things)  but it got me thinking. This women is definitely straight (married with kids) and almost certainly has no clue I'm trans. I'm torn whether I should tell her or not, I mean like ever bring it up. I don't think it'll be an issue since I have no intention of trying to date her or anything. For now I'm going to just let it be but it could possibly be an issue later on. I also don't know anything about her feeling on the LGBTQIA+ community.

That sounds pretty cool. Every relationship is different.

I have been sort of "dating" a cis woman for the past month that I immediately admired, and seems like if you vibe, that right person just sees you for YOU without all the categories. 

I am really feeling like I am getting hooked emotionally but what it all "means" I am learning not to worry about. It's like regular chess vs. 3D chess... I used to be very one-dimensional. Being involved with another female like her is very fluid, dynamic and intuitive. We never seem to be afraid of saying the "wrong" thing because we "get" each other I guess. I suppose there was some latent trauma bonding in the beginning as we had shared experiences. I talk about my trans stuff because eventually, the share is referring to common emotions we both have, not something that is especially unique in itself. 

I think after a time, if it nags at you and you feel like she may be missing out on getting you, thats right. I used to dump everything the first date but now it's very much a process of exploration. Perhaps because I am maturing?

[KymmieL]

4 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

  You're living the "American Dream"!!

It has been a long time coming. Just working on getting everything ironed out. then wait for closing. One of the biggest hurdle is that the current owners finding a place.

 

Kymmie

[Mmindy]

Good morning everyone,

 

My coffee maker has no filter.

[KathyLauren]

My wife and I are planning to move next year.  The plan is to spend this year getting the house ready to put on the market and show, and then to list it next spring.  We want to move down off the mountain and be closer to services.  Ideally, right in a small town so that we can walk places.

 

We took the first concrete step today: talking to the bank about a pre-approved mortgage.  We don't have a mortgage on our current house, and we plan on buying in the same price range.  But the market is over-heated right now, and might still be pretty warm next year.  Houses are selling in three days for $50,000 - $100,000 over asking price!  So if we see a place we like, we can't make an offer conditional on financing or on selling our current house.  We have to be able to move fast.  Hence the pre-approval.

 

The bank will come back to us in a few days with the amount they are willing to lend, in the form of a line of credit secured by our current house.  That way, when the time comes, we can write a cheque when we see a nice house.  The loan would hopefully only be for a few weeks until the current house sells.

[Elizabeth Star]

Everyone's brought up a lot of good points about my new friend. We ended up texting through out the day today. We've both been through a lot of similar things in life and come to find out, she literally lives across the lake from me. However, I did tell her I was married to a woman for many years but it didn't seem to phase her at all and the conversation kept moving along without incident. Although I don't feel a need to out myself to her since I have no intentions of even trying to take things past friendship my GF feels I might need to when (her words) things change. I'll tell ya, It's a strange feeling to be in a committed relationship with someone who encourages dating additional people.

 

One of my coworkers broke his silence today and told me how much he likes and more femme I look with blue hair vs the multi-color. I know it was hard for him to say with his red hat attitude and being at risk of possibly (in his mind) coming across as gay. His masculinity is so so fragile but I'm taking it as a genuine compliment. Maybe he trying to be better....

 

I also talked to my mother on my drive home from work. I've been trying to see if we can have a relationship after things that happened in the past and with my changes. I'm still on the fence with it but trying. She asked how my GF was doing. Mostly a  "standard" conversation but then out of the blue she asked me if my GF was also trans (I think someone's been stalking me on Face Book😆). I won't deny it so I said yes but also explained that I learned I like and love people for who, not what, they are. I feel trying to explain the term pansexual might be over her head for now. It's gonna be interesting to see how this goes.

 

[Mary]

Talking about houses. After 35 years in a large place we are finally down-sizing. Problem number one is we are collectors of note - we have got rid of a lot of stuff, but not nearly enough. Problem number 2 is that other than in the US, the market here is very much a buyer's market. Not only have we let the old one go for a low price, but now it seems that the buyers might not be able to get together enough to actually afford it. And we are moving on Monday, which means we are currently without curtains (they are being remade for the new place), in the middle of our winter! It's enough to make anyone miserable.

[SheenaT]

1 minute ago, Jaycie said:

Feeling lots of gender euphoria today, makes me feel so much more self loving and confident!!!
Hope you all have an amazing day!!!

🤗

[SheenaT]

Just popping in to say hello. Surgery recovery went well. As for the rest just following the status quo. 

[Vanessa Michelle]

@SheenaTYay! So glad to hear that!