Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

5 minutes ago, SheenaT said:

Just popping in to say hello. Surgery recovery went well. As for the rest just following the status quo. 

I'm SO glad your surgery recovery went well. YAY!

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2012

  • KymmieL

    1637

  • Mmindy

    1357

  • Ivy

    1172

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

1 minute ago, Marcie Jensen said:

I'm SO glad your surgery recovery went well. YAY!

I don't know why but not having a prostate anymore is kind of exciting. It may just be a coincidence but some of my desires/feelings have lessened. I feel a bit more myself. Is that weird?

Link to comment
On 6/22/2022 at 11:10 AM, Mmindy said:

Good morning everyone,

 

My coffee maker has no filter. May be a cartoon of text that says 'νου look tired! Mind you, you look tired all the time... and that hair sure doesn't help! That car't be the look youre going far... THE COFFEE HAS No FILTER M ST A Lanere PeN № HA G000'

 

Behold, the power of suggestion. This is how I read the first bubble for a second. 😆

 

image.thumb.png.e442d46f42c54a59c1b777440fd834f5.png

Link to comment

Today is my Transpulse-iversary! One year ago today, I joined this community. In the last year, my life has drastically changed for the better, and this community has been absolutely pivotal in that. I am happier & more confident, my relationship with my spouse is better and freer than I could have dreamed. I am a more integrated, expressive and genuine individual because of your friendship and support. I love you and appreciate you all more than I am able to express. Bless you all. 

Link to comment
44 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

Today is my Transpulse-iversary! One year ago today, I joined this community. In the last year, my life has drastically changed for the better, and this community has been absolutely pivotal in that. I am happier & more confident, my relationship with my spouse is better and freer than I could have dreamed. I am a more integrated, expressive and genuine individual because of your friendship and support. I love you and appreciate you all more than I am able to express. Bless you all. 

Hey @Vidanjali Happy Anniversary! Great to hear. In community we find strength.

— Davie

Link to comment

So I was going to sign a contract today and make a significant purchase but ever since around 3 months HRT, my intuition has seemed to be heightened, or I am more aware of it. It happened my last relationship with red flags early on and I didn't listen. Seems only takes me about a day to meditate on something and my gut pretty much knows what decision i will make.

 

So I just kinda felt like i was PMSing or something this morning as I went to check out a school. The admissions woman actually asked me when I started transing during interview which was a plus. Cool, that's out of the way. Affirmed.

But she was really pressuring a fast, hard sell. I got three texts within 2 days about confirming my appt. And I was thinking if she was that concerned about getting my signature, she would at least use proper pronouns and use my preferred name.. I understand not everyone has gender training, but it also made me reappraise if i wanted to commit right now.

So that reminded me of what they say in the 12 step program about avoiding major decisions in the first year of sobriety if you can because your body is going through changes and not to put yourself in an unnecessary crisis. It feels more natural to me to go slow and take my time with things. When things are rushed, it usually has to do with impatience, and impatience is rooted in fear.

The school's possible fear is interest rate hike, costs going up and keeping that cashflow positive.

 

I already feel better now by putting it behind me. So I guess I am not ready for the extra load right now.

There was another thing I was thinking of doing which would be fairly major and permanent and it came down to giving it time and patience. I really feel and see the HRT changes happening. I am holding on to these 12 hour shifts as long as I can then I guess i will decide where to go next if I can't do it anymore. 

Link to comment

Hey all, 

 

I hate it when I'm off site for a while, come back and have NO idea what's going on with the y'all.  I hope pride month has been joyous all around.

 

It's been a month on my end.  My girlfriend, who coincidentally is my oldest friend, has come to the conclusion that she is straight, which though disappointing was oddly validating.  It was expected and in no way came as a shock, I have a feeling she couldn't help but see her old friend "dead name" in women's clothes and for a long while couldn't separate the "man" she'd known for almost 20 year from the woman I am...  until she did and I think I know the moment too.  We were talking about past relationships and experiences and she just went on this tangent (a very complementary tangent) about how I'm not like "other guys" and all the ways I'm not like "other guys", rattling off a laundry list differences, emotional availability, openness, communication style,  consent and reaffirming consent...  All the while misgendering me (to be clear, I've never specifically asked her to gender me properly) and there I am in women's clothes,  nail polish and a touch of make-up, just waiting.  Then it happened... she looked up at me, we locked eyes, I cocked my head, she nodded silently and everything changed. 

 

I didn't hear from her for a couple weeks then got a kindly worded "dear jane" text explaining that she isn't gay.  I replied that I knew this was coming, that there were no hard feelings and that when she got things sorted and separated in her head that I'm still in the market for "girlfriends".  She responded that I was right, that she would need time to sort things out.  It's been months now and nothing... ghosted.  I really didn't expect that, I know it's not my transness (is that a word?) As she dated a trans man in her youth and is both progressiveand an ally.  

 

I miss my friend, not only is she my oldest friend, she is the only friend I have in the area.

 

On the bright side, I'm visiting my sister for pride in NYC!  YIPPEE!!!  The one down side is, and I'm quoting her here.  "I'm going to have to ditch you Saturday night for a girls party."  Ouch!  My fault for lying to her but I'm just not ready.  Why do I feel like the most important person to me will be one of the last to know?

 

I'm sure these ramblings belong elsewhere on the forum but I'm not really looking for advice, I just wanted to share.  Besides, I always feel like I'm doing something wrong/bad when I create a new topic.

 

much luv

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jandi said:

If you're not comfortable with something, there's usually a reason.

Too true! Wisdom for the ages there.

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

Today is my Transpulse-iversary! One year ago today, I joined this community.

Congrats. Another milestone.

 

1 hour ago, Ticket For Epic said:

went on this tangent (a very complementary tangent) about how I'm not like "other guys" and all the ways I'm not like "other guys", rattling off a laundry list differences, emotional availability, openness, communication style,  consent and reaffirming consent...

I can relate. I've had some exes and friends show up in life over the last couple years and they were all like "well, now it all makes sense."

 

1 hour ago, Ticket For Epic said:

It's been months now and nothing... ghosted. 

I've also had a lot of this happen. I can think of five friends off the top of my head but I'm sure there's more.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
10 hours ago, SheenaT said:

Surgery recovery went well. As for the rest just following the status quo. 

That’s great Sheena, 

 

Listen to your body, as you recover.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

 

Behold, the power of suggestion. This is how I read the first bubble for a second. 😆

 

image.thumb.png.e442d46f42c54a59c1b777440fd834f5.png

😄😂🤣😆😁❤️

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning?


I had store brand dark roast, black coffee this morning..  we e had it before.  I need to find our remote controls. I am very limited in my ability to control our devices.  We want to get hooked up to a streaming service but my Apple TV is not able to properly connect without its remote.  Frustrating to say the least.  I also need to get the bottom half of our China hutch over here.  If I do that, the dining area would be pretty close to done.not being able to put away the kitchen is a killer.  I can’t believe how many boxes say kitchen on them.

 

I finally slept all night.  Not sure about my wife, but she is still asleep.  I don’t want to wake her up.  She’s had a few pretty rough nights.

 

I suppose I could find a few things to do in the meantime.  
 

I’ll check back later.

 

Willow

Link to comment

@Elizabeth Star & @Davie thanks!! 

 

@SheenaT glad you're recovering so well. 

 

@Jaycie always beautiful to hear a cheer of euphoria! It boosts us all, I believe. 

 

@Ticket For Epic perhaps your ex needs time to process. Doesn't feel so good, the ghosting - obviously any communication would be preferable. I hope you have super fun at pride! So, your sister will be your companion at pride, but you are not out to her? What is her interest in attending pride? Doesn't it feel like the stakes are soooo much higher when considering telling people you're close to? I've had an easier time mentioning it casually and spontaneously to people I barely know or see. But those who are closer to me? Very few know. Who knows - maybe pride will inspire you. I was struck by your comment that you feel wrong/bad for starting a new thread. In doing so, you assert yourself to some extent. I just want to affirm that you are assertable (a word I made up just for you, lol). We WANT to see you & hear from you; you are worthy, valid & beautiful. 

 

Related to coming out, I was discussing, via text, my top dysphoria with my friend, T, whom I recently came out to. She said she completely understood how it relates to gender ID. I asked, you do??? She said that when I told her I'm trans, she'd actually known that about me for a long time & it was no surprise to her when I told her. She validated how stressful and potentially devastating ordinary things like putting oneself together to leave the house could be. I was like, wow. It's a beautiful thing when someone really sees you. I told her that for years while I was trying my darndest to be a "normal" woman, that I tried to convince myself that all women routinely had complete borderline psychotic meltdowns while fixing their hair or getting dressed, but I didn't really believe it - I always felt like an imposter, alien, monster. I mean, I did have some hideous PMS, but these instances were not necessarily "periodic". Live and learn. Last night, I was telling my husband that these days, I care much much less what others think about the way I look, but that the key to that is increasingly accepting and liking how I look, myself. I'm no longer trying to squeeze myself into a ill-fitting mold. 

 

 

Link to comment
20 hours ago, Mmindy said:

That’s great Sheena, 

 

Listen to your body, as you recover.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

🤗👍

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Gooooood eeevenning

 

Well, we got the bottom of the china hutch here and set it up.  Brought over a number of boxes, bathroom things, wife’s clothes, shoes and purses and more kitchen boxes.  I found some remote controls but not all  still haven’t found the Apple TV remote.  Guest room is just missing one item.  Oldest granddaughter has asked to come down the first week of August.  We have some family heirlooms that really need to find new homes.  I have a spinning wheel that has been passed down since the early 1800s.  My wife has a beautiful secretary  that is around 100 years old.  We want to keep both going in the family.  Our daughter has requested the secretary and I’m hoping our oldest granddaughter will want the spinning wheel.  We have other antiques in the 100 year old range that will go to someone someday but not yet.

 

Politically speaking we all could be in for some rough times.  It would seem that the SCOTUS isn’t done with taking away rights and freedom we currently enjoy.  Which ever side you are on the next two elections could be extremely important so be sure to vote.

 

Personally I don’t know when I’ve been so relaxed and happy as I am now.  Living here seems like a long vacation.  And being myself all the time makes it that much better.  Yes I have gotten some pushback but nothing that I think will ruin this.  
 

time to take the dog for a walk.  See you tomorrow.

 

hugs

 

Willow

Link to comment
2 minutes ago, Willow said:

Personally I don’t know when I’ve been so relaxed and happy as I am now.  

Glad to hear your life is getting settled down a bit.

Link to comment
8 minutes ago, Willow said:

Personally I don’t know when I’ve been so relaxed and happy as I am now.  Living here seems like a long vacation.

 

You deserve it, especially after all that boat-living time and work you put in!

 

It's so nice to hear about you finally being in the new place! I'm sure the process of moving in is quite a lot of work (it always is), but it sounds like it must be very satisfying for you at this point.

Link to comment

I was on the fence about telling my new friend that I'm trans but did it anyway. Turns out she's an allie and supporter which is why she never said or did anything to make me suspect she knew. We're planning to meet up for lunch on Sunday.

 

Today is also my name change anniversary but it's hard to be happy about it considering that other thing that happened today.

 

I'm still chipping away at purse project. I had to, yet again, redesign some parts but now it's just endless hours of printing out and assembling the pieces. As long as my supply of filament holds out I should have it done by next weekend.

Link to comment
23 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

@Elizabeth Star & @Davie thanks!! 

 

@SheenaT glad you're recovering so well. 

 

@Jaycie always beautiful to hear a cheer of euphoria! It boosts us all, I believe. 

 

@Ticket For Epic perhaps your ex needs time to process. Doesn't feel so good, the ghosting - obviously any communication would be preferable. I hope you have super fun at pride! So, your sister will be your companion at pride, but you are not out to her? What is her interest in attending pride? Doesn't it feel like the stakes are soooo much higher when considering telling people you're close to? I've had an easier time mentioning it casually and spontaneously to people I barely know or see. But those who are closer to me? Very few know. Who knows - maybe pride will inspire you. I was struck by your comment that you feel wrong/bad for starting a new thread. In doing so, you assert yourself to some extent. I just want to affirm that you are assertable (a word I made up just for you, lol). We WANT to see you & hear from you; you are worthy, valid & beautiful. 

 

Related to coming out, I was discussing, via text, my top dysphoria with my friend, T, whom I recently came out to. She said she completely understood how it relates to gender ID. I asked, you do??? She said that when I told her I'm trans, she'd actually known that about me for a long time & it was no surprise to her when I told her. She validated how stressful and potentially devastating ordinary things like putting oneself together to leave the house could be. I was like, wow. It's a beautiful thing when someone really sees you. I told her that for years while I was trying my darndest to be a "normal" woman, that I tried to convince myself that all women routinely had complete borderline psychotic meltdowns while fixing their hair or getting dressed, but I didn't really believe it - I always felt like an imposter, alien, monster. I mean, I did have some hideous PMS, but these instances were not necessarily "periodic". Live and learn. Last night, I was telling my husband that these days, I care much much less what others think about the way I look, but that the key to that is increasingly accepting and liking how I look, myself. I'm no longer trying to squeeze myself into a ill-fitting mold. 

 

 

Thank you! Just wish it had been GCS.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi

 

we took it easy today unpacked some previously moved boxes.  Bought a new coffee maker.  Choice of making a single cup or a pot.  I think that solves some issues we were having with either not enough or too much.  Also bought some pillows and a small teak table for the porch.  
 

it’s a beautiful evening on the porch  just cool enough to be comfortable but warm enough to enjoy.  Tomorrow we will have to bring some more things to the condo. I need to find my big iMac.  We have one more piece for the guest bedroom to bring and a 4 piece wall unit which will divide the dining room from the living room.  I will also use a desk that is part of it.  I do need to find my cords and cables. I brought over our printer but discovered it does no good without the power cord which wasn’t with it.  The number of not found things is becoming annoying.  
 

@SheenaT I still have my prostate but I’ve had two prostate surgeries.  I know they weren’t fun and you have to take it easy for a while to let things heal.  Yes, it’s too bad it’s couldn’t have just been combined with a GCS.  

 

@Hannah Renee whether you Don’t have to be at court or not, I would think it would be in your best interest to be there “just in case”. I’m learning things the hard way about courts and even though my attorney said I didn’t have to be there unless he tells me differently I’m pretty sure I’m going to go to each scheduled hearing.  Until it’s resolved.  
 

have a great evening and a good night.

 

hugs

 

Willow

Link to comment
24 minutes ago, Willow said:

The number of not found things is becoming annoying.

This describes my life.  Sigh.

Link to comment

Good morning!

 

Had my fifth cut and color (I think) since I started the coming out mode, second one at the place I found on strandsfortrans.com.  I kinda thought I'd be getting over the emotional reaction to getting the hair done, but nope.  A few tears again, and a hug from the stylist. Maybe next time it'll be just another hair cut. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 90 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • April Marie
    • EasyE
    • Stacie.H
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Jamey-Heather
    • Adrianna Danielle
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,020
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Tami
    Newest Member
    Tami
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • April Marie
      So many things become easier when you finally turn that corner and see "you" in the mirror. Shedding the guilt, the fear, the questioning becomes possible - as does self-love - when that person looking back at you, irrespective of what you're wearing, is the real you.   I am so happy for you!! Enjoy the journey and where it leads you.
    • MaeBe
      I'm sure even the most transphobic parents would, too. What does it hurt if a child socializes outside of their family in a way that allows them to understand themselves better? I have encountered a handful of kids do the binary, non-binary, back to binary route and they got to learn about themselves. In the end, there may have been some social self-harm but kids are so darned accepting these days. And really, schools aren't policing pronouns, but the laws that are coming out are making them do so--and in turn requiring a report to a parent that may cause some form of harm to the child.   If the kid wants to lie to, or keep secrets from, their parents about their gender expressions, what does it say about the parents? Perhaps a little socialization of their thoughts will give them the personal information to have those conversations with them? So when they do want to have that conversation they can do so with some self-awareness. This isn't a parent's rights issue, it's about forcing a "moral code" onto schools that they must now enforce--in a way that doesn't appreciably assist parents or provide benefit to children.   So, a child that transitioned at 5 and now in middle/high school that is by all rights female must now go into a bathroom full of dudes? What about trans men, how will the be treated in the girl's restroom? I see a lot of fantasy predator fearmongering in this kind of comment. All a trans kid wants to do in a bathroom is to handle their bodily functions in peace. Ideally there would be no gendered restrooms or, at least, a valid option for people to choose a non-gendered restroom. However, where is the actual harm happening? A trans girl in a boy's room is going experience more harm than a girl being uncomfortable about a trans girl going into and out of a stall.   How about we teach our children that trans people aren't predators who are trying to game the system to eek out some sexual deviancy via loophole? How about we treat gender in a way that doesn't enforce the idea that girls are prey and boys are  predators? How about we teach them trans kids are just kids who want to get on with their day like everyone else?
    • Adrianna Danielle
      I hope so and glad he loves and accepts me for who I am
    • EasyE
      It is sad that we can't have more open and honest dialogue on these types of topics because there is worthy debate for sure. But instead we have become a country where the only goal is to seize political power and then legislate our particular agenda and views of morality.   Remember as you read my thoughts below, that I am transgender. OK? I am pro-trans. I am trans.   But my middle school aged daughter would be extremely uncomfortable using a school bathroom also used by a biological male, as would nearly all of her friends. That side has to be considered. It's not invalidating to a trans youth's experience to take that into account and hash out what is for the common good of as many people as possible. This is reality - one person's gender expression makes others uncomfortable, in all directions. And there is disagreement on the best way to handle these types of things.   Why can't we talk about these things openly, without the inevitable name-calling that follows, and let all sides have their input and work up suitable solutions? (I bet the kids, if left alone, would work up the best solutions)... Instead, we go straight to trying to pass laws, as if we need more of those!   And why wouldn't we want parents to know if their child has decided to change their pronouns? That's a big deal and parents are right to raise that as a concern. I certainly would want to know. Not that we need to legislate this, but I would have a hard time with school administrators who try to hide this from me. They are out of line. This is my child. Whether you like my viewpoints or not, I am the parent. Not the school.    Again, I am pro-trans. I am trans. At the same point, I recognize that validating a transgender individual's gender identity doesn't trump everything else in society. And sometimes I see that creeping into these discussions. Plus, we fight a losing battle if we have to have others' validation. We are never going to get it from everybody. Ever. Not even Jesus got it and He is God himself!   This country can be very beautiful as we each exercise our freedom to be who we are and let others do the same. But my freedom ends where yours begins and vice-versa. That requires self-sacrifice. Sometimes we have to fall back out of respect for others. Sometimes we have to let the parent be the parent even if we disagree with their politics.   My cry in the wilderness is just can we please have more open, honest dialogue where both sides try take the other's views into consideration and quit automatically going the legislative route to criminalize the other side's viewpoints.   Sorry for the rant but sometimes all of this wears me out... deep sigh... 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Bite by bite, acrobatics in abdomen
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Yesterday when I put that shirt on I saw a woman looking back out of the mirror at me.  Usually I have looked and been very frustrated because I see a man where there should be a woman.  I was expecting to see a man wearing a woman's shirt, but it was a woman wearing a woman's shirt.   On the spectrum between intersex and trans, I am more thinking I am a lot more intersex than trans, and it is only a matter of time before my wife says "you need a bra" and then "you look like a woman!" She told me whatever I want to do is fine with her, she loves me no matter what, and I am thinking that there may be a lot more for her in this than she could possibly expect. I'm not pushing it with her.
    • Petra Jane
      We have been asked to post this study.   I'm an undergraduate university student in my third year completing a BSc in Anthropology. I'm working on my dissertation, looking at languages with grammatical gender (e.g. languages like Italian and Spanish, nouns are either masculine or feminine). I'm curious if this affects/bothers people with gender identities outside the typical binary of male and female, like non-binary or transgender identities. Using this forum, I would be very grateful if anyone could answer the 5 questions I have put together in a Google form, they are open-ended questions, and you can be as brief or detailed as you want/comfortable with! All responses will also be kept anonymous. As you can probably guess, I came to online forums because finding participants in person is difficult. Talking about gender identities, I understand, can be very personal, so this online anonymised format can be safer. :) If anyone is also particularly interested in this topic, it would be awesome to message one-on-one and do the Google form survey. Having one and one interviews would also be good research! But NONE of this is compulsory, and only if anyone is interested and doesn't mind helping me out and can do so. Institution Supervising Research Study University of Kent Web Address for Study Participation https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdS9zU_dt3RR1V8-3s_0EnDl6w-jsS6-WOZO41uWeqUP0q_YQ/viewform?usp=sf_link
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      @Mia MarieI found this    Here are critical resources to help transgender seniors face the challenges of growing older - LGBTQ Nation   As far as financial aid I came up empty. :( I'm sorry. I can only imagine what you are going through. 
    • Ashley0616
      @Adrianna Daniellecongratulations to you and your boyfriend! Hopefully a future wedding in the future!   @WillowI'm sorry about that he passed away. He sounded like a role model that others should follow.   @MmindyI'm sorry about your head cold! Hopefully it won't last too long and hope for good rest and recovery. 
    • Mmindy
      Good morning Mia,   This is a great question, and I'm looking forward to the input from others.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mia Marie
      I see more and more postings with what the LGBTQ support organizations are doing and I see less and less about helping the older generation of us. All I really see is them wanting to help transgender youths and no matter how many times I ask for help, they tell me they can't help or they tell me the office I contacted only works with the youth only. Is there an organization that helps older transgender people? All I find when I do a search turns out with nothing more than talking about trans youths. I feel as though us older trasn folks are being left out. I applied for financial help in a form of a grant, twice, and was turned down with no explanations of why. They did ask me to help go over applications which told me I was automatically denied. Really doesn't seem fair, does it?  
    • Ivy
      Require students to use bathrooms that align with the gender they were assigned at birth Prohibit transgender girls in seventh grade or older from participating in girls sports or other girls-only activities  Ban gender-affirming health care — including surgery or hormone treatment — for transgender students under age 18, even if parents consent or the treatment is recommended by a doctor Require schools to notify parents if students change their pronouns or otherwise signal they identify as a gender other than what’s on their official student records Doesn't look like it "protects" anybody.  It actually is about restricting trans kids rights.   The ways politicians name their bills etc. is a farce.  Most of the time they do the opposite of what they're called.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...