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KymmieL

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3 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I heard songs that I thought I would never hear live. 

Isn’t it cool to reminisce with the bands of you youth? I’m glad you got to see them, and hope you had fun. 
 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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On 7/8/2022 at 9:32 AM, NashySlashy said:

Or maybe it'll be a nice sweet picnic—not sure which.

My back told me to leave the picnic early, but as I walked away, I burst into happy tears to picture your faces.

— Davie

 

IMG_1263.heic.jpeg

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Went to my 25th high school reunion yesterday and went good.My friends accepted the changes and called me Holly and are there for support.Teachers I had took it well.Asked about my later plans knowing I am on the feminizing hormones.Told them having the GRS when it comes time.I recently changed my decision to have the GRS which I have support for.

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It's been so long since I let my facial hair grow like this. With my local electro person, she only wants 2.5-3 days growth and only in the small area we are working on that day. So it's almost non visible or something I'm aware of. However, for these large clearings in Chicago they want 4-5 days growth and it's the whole face.  Most of my cheeks are cleared but the areas around the corners of the mouth and my whole jaw line down the neck are still pretty full.  I'm am so triggered and dysphoric right now. To boot, my plan was to stay home Sat- Monday morning and just do some working from home and chores but I've been pulled into being in public the whole weekend.  A friend needed consoling and wanted to get a drink last night at a bar and another friend broke her foot this morning so I took her to the doctors and then she took me to lunch. All nice but with my full lower beard going it made me so uncomfortable. :(.   I haven't had to do this since last December before my FFS.  I seriously hope they can clear most of the hair off my jaw and neck this time so that it's not very noticable next time I have to do this.

 

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@Bri2020 you should be proud of yourself. I could feel my 5 o’clock shadow at a kids birthday party after being told the night before my dress was to short and that so totally triggered my it took me two months and therapy to start again.  
 

now with no T at all and normal female levels of E even when I do have a little fuzz you can’t see it only feel it.

 

and you got to help some friends.  I’d say it was worth it.

 

Willow

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2 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

That's awesome. So happy it went so well for you.

Plans are the GRS going to be done next year or in 2024

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Good morning, everyone.

It's Monday so back to the grind. My nails had gotten so long that basic tasks, even typing was such a struggle. Sadly, they're a lot shorter then I wanted. I tried to to tell the tech to only keep two of them short but due to the language barrier things went astray. What's weird is that it's still hard to type. I feel like I have to reach extra far to hit the right keys.

 

I went on my date with my friend but so far nothing has really come of it except I'm literally part of the family now. Which I still take as a win.

to be continued....

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26 minutes ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I'm literally part of the family now. Which I still take as a win.

Sounds like it to me

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Good Monday morning everyone.  
 

We had a lot of rain yesterday afternoon but that’s okay since we had indoor tasks to handle.  We are starting to get back into a routine.  Who is doing which task.  Today is traditional laundry day and we tend to follow that.
 

Yesterday morning I made waffles while my wife made bacon, so a pretty good Sunday breakfast.  Last night we had a nice pork chop dinner.  We bought an economy pack of meat.  When we got home I took them out and vacuum packed and froze all but what we were preparing.  Add to that a vegetable and rice.  We ate for less than $10 total.  And my wife made a cake for desert.  A rare thing but it sure was good.

 

I messed up the coffee this morning.  Spilled some and had to clean that up and selected the wrong size pot, so it’s a little weak, but we have plenty.  Still dark and black.  But my sponsor is a little disappointed I didn’t use more of their coffee today.

 

speaking of laundry, I’ve never been great at folding shirts.  So I bought a shirt folder on line.  I’ve been using it for the last couple of weeks.  For me it does a much better job than I do without it and it’s faster.  Well worth the price which was about $15.  They had less expensive ones but I thought this one was better.  
 

Each day more boxes get brought over and this becomes more and more like home.  I will need to buy some shelves for our storage room and some closet organizing items, like shoe racks and more shelves.

 

 

 

But, easy does it.

 

 

I went on my date with my friend but so far nothing has really come of it except I'm literally part of the family now. Which I still take as a win.
 

Liz you are definitely a more out going person than I ever was or will be.  Enjoy your new friendships.

 

Hugs to all

 

Willow

 

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2 minutes ago, Willow said:

speaking of laundry, I’ve never been great at folding shirts.  So I bought a shirt folder on line.  I’ve been using it for the last couple of weeks.  For me it does a much better job than I do without it and it’s faster.  Well worth the price which was about $15.  They had less expensive ones but I thought this one was better.  

 

Oh hey! I got one of those too! I'm TERRIBLE at folding shirts. At least if I want them to look pretty. The folders help a TON and the "pile of t-shirts" section of my wardrobe looks SO much neater.

 

Great news @Elizabeth Star! While I have yet to have a date... mostly because I'm still married... the wealth of friends I've made since I came out has been absolutely amazing. I wish you the same.

 

Over here, I've got my exam for Group Training in a couple of hours. Assuming I pass, I'm going to be qualified to do group fitness classes. Wish me luck!

 

Hugs!

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Been having more drama with my youngest (mid 20's).  She came to visit, but her car tore up.  She doesn't have a job (does some art stuff on commision) and she and her boyfriend frequently fall out, so she ends up here.  Then they kinda make up, and she goes back.  I mean… it sucks.  I think he's mentally abusive, but what do I know?

 

She's the youngest of 8 and 6yrs younger than her closest sibling.  So she has issues with being the baby of the family, and does not get along with her mother.  It's partly politics but they're just too much alike.  She probably would benefit from therapy, but no insurance and all… this is America after all.

 

I paid to fix her car… (I know, I know, but I had the $ and I am her dad and do care about her).

She's back with her boyfriend for now.   I don't have AC and this is NC in July, LOL.  I'm used to it myself.

 

Lot's of her stuff is still here, and she'll no doubt be back - it's only a 20 min drive.  It's just so emotionally draining.  She has anxiety issues, and I have to try and talk her down at times.  I'm not the most stable person myself, going through 2nd puberty. LOL.

 

Got a text from her yesterday, and things seem to be okay for now.

 

Anyway, Just had to talk about it.  And it's not something I like to bring up with the rest of the family.  I expect they think she takes advantage of me.  She probably does, but hey…

 

On the plus side, I did make it up to the small demonstration on the Court Square protesting the RvW decision.  I seem to be getting more political these days.

 

It's been an interesting week.

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Hi again

 

so on msn.com this morning they had a poll with questions regarding transgenders and mostly youth.  Now these are not scientific polls so you decide the validity.  The first few questions were about transgenders in sports.  Needless to say, overwhelming negative response.  Then they switched to medical questions.  One was something like should Medicaid be used, no.  But here’s where it got really interesting.  Should under 18 be allowed blockers, yes, surgeries, yes. The switch from no to yes really surprised me.  And you have to answer the questions and not skip so it was apparently the same people who were negative about sports suddenly shifting to being ok with surgeries and medications.

 

Willow

 

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Willow said:

The switch from no to yes really surprised me.  And you have to answer the questions and not skip so it was apparently the same people who were negative about sports suddenly shifting to being ok with surgeries and medications.

 

Both questions address fairness. Is it "fair" to compete against cis-women post-transition? That's the hot button question. My personal opinion is "absolutely" because I train women for a living and if you look at naturally athletic women, they're all built just like me. Without that perspective though? The media portrays us as NFL linebackers with 5 o'clock shadow stuffed into a pretty dress. That's where their mind goes.

 

At the same time, "do people with a medical condition deserve access to life-saving medical procedures?" That's the other question. They answer yes. Why would ANYBODY deny you a procedure that's going to save your life? Most of those kids probably know a trans person and know (at least second-hand) how hard it is. ESPECIALLY doing puberty when your body is doing things that you absolutely do not want. Nobody wants that.

 

So, not that surprising. It comes down to asking, "Do you want somebody to suffer?" Most people are going to answer, "Of course not."

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1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Over here, I've got my exam for Group Training in a couple of hours. Assuming I pass, I'm going to be qualified to do group fitness classes. Wish me luck! 

 

GOOD LUCK!!! You will do great! 

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good luck to u @Jackie C.

and feeling your face situation @Bri2020 that kinda thing still would keep me from being outside

 

My relationship with E. is become very close yet aromantic.... last trip we went shopping trying on and suggesting clothes for each other, her giving me rec's at Ulta, and then we went back to her place and she died our hair, and even washed mine for me prior.

I am not getting too worried about where else it could go. I feel like I am living a trans girl's dream, especially for a gay trans girl like me. The feelings are deep and almost sister-like. Nothing like I have ever experienced. 

My girl stuff is pretty stocked now aand with the costs of everything going up I am cutting out any unnecessary purchases as I had to dip into my savings to make payments.

I came out to my boss and it was very professional, and I got a new ID and name change started for records. So social transing is pretty much coming to a close and focusing on the medical part and finishing up hair removal are the next goals. 

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Oh oh, I just noticed the page number.  I won’t mention the number in case you are superstitious.  But check it out if you dare.  lol

 

i checked and I’m not the first to bring up this topic in this forum, religion and the LGBTQI+.

 

My wife and I are both believers.  I have taught Adult Sunday School which we have been going through Paul’s letters.

 

The first book I read was about a gay minister who started his own church in California after getting kicked out of a church. I’ve researched on line on the topic and another member of this group invited me to be a contributor in another forum.

 

For those of you who may be struggling with the concept that being part of the so called Alphabet goes against the word in the Bible, I am in the middle of a book called Unclobber.  It is written by a minister who is CIS, but supports us.  His journey includes being fired by a mega church because on Facebook he cheered when “don’t ask, don’t tell” came out.  He had a revelation about all of us as not being outcasts in the Bible.  His book tells his story AND the so called “Clobber” passages and his journey to debunk them.  He offers compelling evidence that the passages used to deny us are not literally what they say.  He uses newer translations of Hebrew and explanations of key phrases that he believes were not translated correctly back in the 1600s and have yet to be corrected.

 

if you are interested you can find this book on the UPC bookstore or John Knox Press.  Just search for Unclobber”

 

Willow

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12 minutes ago, Willow said:

Oh oh, I just noticed the page number.  I won’t mention the number in case you are superstitious.  But check it out if you dare.  lol

 

 

 

Screenshot_2022-07-11-10-30-43-1.png

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Still feeling euphoria over the picnic we had. Since breaking my egg, I'd not spent much time in person with any trans folks—not counting on Zoom, of course. I found it easier recognizing folks from their voices that these strangers with actual legs. Everyone just as friendly as ever. It's now easier to accept myself to have this kind of loving support. Nothing beats a good memory like that. Another picture: 1965197932_transPicnicclose-up.png.47dc2e45b66f5d2aa7f7a9cea3855600.png

That's me in the bowler hat . . . losing my religion.

Cheers,

Davie

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Good Morning Everyone.

 

Your friendly neighborhood weather girl. Right now cloudy and overcast fencometer showing 60. Forecast in the low 80s but I am not sure but it is Wyoming so anything from blue clouds to snow is possible. 

 

@Willow you do remember basic, were your t-shirts had to be folded just right and be like plywood.

 

I took the same poll yesterday. IMHO, I believe that trans athletes should be able to participate in any sport. I see it that is a good way to make cis-gender athletes push that much harder if they feel out done by a trans person.

 

Off today and tomorrow. Planned on continuing hooking up the compressor in the truck. But not sure with the weather.

 

So far everything is OK with me. Yet, that little monster depression still lingers waiting to rear its ugly head. And it can in a nano second. I am almost pretty much at its mercy.

 

OH, well the earth continues to turn. and Life goes on.

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie

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Good morning everyone, 

 

I’m still travel training, Saturday/Sunday in Butler Co. PA. Now on my way to Westampton, NJ to teach Tuesday/Wednesday for the fire department and county hazmat team. I’ll be back home in Westfield, IN on Thursday, starting Vacation on Friday. Camping with the two youngest grandsons in Peru, IN for Circus Week. 
 

Hotel Coffee and Breakfast in the lobby area. 💁🏼‍♀️

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6 hours ago, Davie said:

Still feeling euphoria over the picnic we had.

 

@Davie that is great! I am so glad you had a good time there!!!

 

It has been about a week since I last was here. Had a lot of reading to do to catch up.

 

I had a good weekend, went dancing up at the Rainbow Mountain. Had two different guys hitting on me. The one was too handsy. He was also throwing around the flattery way too much. I guess a guy will tell you almost anything if he thinks he has a chance with you. LOL but I was a little put off by that.

 

The second guy I met after the first had left and he was rather shy in a cute kinda way. We danced and he told me he is a local artist. I may see him again. I was even dancing a little with the bartender when things got slow she came over and we chatted a bit and then we were dancing with the bar between us. It was fun.

 

At one point near the end of the night a couple approached me and the one guy told me he just wanted to tell me that he thought I was a great dancer!! I was shocked but very flattered as I though that he and his partner were both very good dancers. I went home that night (Ahhheeemmmm, sorry morning) feeling rather warm and happy. I think that living as Rachel suits me much better than life as (Deadname). Being on the other side of the hunter / prey, was a very different dynamic. It felt nice to have someone pursuing me for a change. I can get used to that......

 

Planning a get away on July 23 weekend with another trans woman. We have been chatting a lot online and we want to have some girl time together so we will go down to New Hope enjoy some shopping and then partying that night. I can't imagine this trip to New Hope being better than my last one but a girl can dream Right?

 

Peace to all of you my friends i hope you have a wonderful week.

~Rachel

 

 

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......I'm back.

 

On our way back from the movie she assumed I was going to stay for dinner. Which is absolutely fine with me but I needed to change. There's no way I was going to sit outside in a partially white dress. Yes, I wore a dress with white on it. OK, so it's off-white with black rose silhouettes. Big surprise I changed into an all black outfit. When we got back to her house, she realized that she had left her water bottle at the movies. Her daughter is a new driver, trying to get her hours in so there was debate over which car she would drive. I was the last car in the driveway so offered to let her drive mine. She was so happy and excited, I loved it. My friend is a bit of a pistol giving driving lessons so I was grateful I was up front, giving kind words of encouragement. We also stopped at the store she works at. Her coworkers seemed a bit surprised that we were hanging out together and one of them made a comment suggesting we were related but then he also made the comment to her "I really like his outfits" referring to me. She quickly corrected him but for a moment I though she was going to punch him in the throat. Thankfully, it didn't come to that but wouldn't put it past her.

 

When we got back her BF grilled outside while we stayed inside cooking. Before it was time to leave she made it a point to tell me she was off again on Wednesday and I am coming over for dinner. So apparently I now have plans for Wednesday night.

 

It's really interesting watching things progress. There was a lot more that happened but isn't forum appropriate. There's always more to the story.

 

I'm going to cut this off here before it becomes another book.

 

Note: I have noticed lately that I have been pulling away from all the cis-heteronormative people I know. I just don't have anything to offer them anymore and they just don't want/try to understand my life, love and relationships.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Good evening

 

laundry is done and all put away.  No new boxes but I got my Mac up and running again.  I have three external drives I need to get out of storage and attach them and get a printer up and running as well.

 

I’ve made a fair amount of progress in Unclobber today.  The toughest section to comprehend has been read but I still have to go back and check some of the specific passages.

 

@KymmieL I was very fortunate in basic.  Our flight had a TI that had been around long enough that he wasn’t out to show the ABs how tough he could be.  Not to say he didn’t have his requirements.  Our beds had to be according to his expectations, very tight and perfect 45 degree hospital corners.  Our foot lockers had to have everything in an exact location and look brand new.  That was easy, he told us one person was to supply the shaving cream, razor and soap each night.  It was to be tossed out when everyone was done, and the supplier placed new in his footlocker.  Clothing had to be perfect and hours were spent getting enough lawyer of shoe polish on three pairs to get them sufficiently shined.  Only the top undershirt had to be starched, same with boxers.  The rest had to be perfectly folded.  The starched were never worn.  Same way with fatigues one pair could stand up by itself and would break if they were bent too much, but was never worn the rest were starched and pressed but were able to be worn.

 

My basic was mid December through the end of January.  We ran in chucka boots, and did not have any PT clothing issued.  6 weeks we never missed PT for any reason.  I must say, I pitied the guys that stayed in Lackland for AP or SP training.  I went to Lowery, Denver for the next year.  From night one there, I was treated like a real human being.  We got Class A passes the first morning I was there.  Both at Lackland and Lowery I was in old WWII barracks but I didn’t care.

 

Willow

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Our TI was a Cop. So he was to regulations all the way. I was at Lackland for basic from Nov through Jan. Spent T-day, My B-day, Xmas and NewYears in basic. Had town pass on new years eve day. but then I just moved about a 1/2 mile to the SP academy. Then to Camp Bullis about 30 miles west of Lackland off I-10. SO spent 6 months in San Antonio. Luckily, my parents where moving while I was in the academy. My dad came down for graduation and drive my car. So all through Air Base Ground Defense I had my car.

 

Well, I broke into the piggy bank and took some $$$ out of retirement. For closing. I should be able to scrape up the rest. So as of right now, we are going to be moving in Aug.  

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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9 hours ago, Willow said:

Only the top undershirt had to be starched, same with boxers.  The rest had to be perfectly folded.  The starched were never worn.  Same way with fatigues one pair could stand up by itself and would break if they were bent too much, but was never worn the rest were starched and pressed but were able to be worn.

 

LOL!  That brings back memories of my Basic.  Our lockers had five drawers.  Only the top two were inspected.  So everyone bought extra socks to keep in the top drawer, perfectly rolled, never worn.  (I don't remember what else was in the top drawers, but it was all for display only. :) )  *Sigh*  Spit-shining my boots while watching Nixon's resignation speech...  The memories!

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      Shameless plug for my "Taylor" story down in Stories You Write.  I am not Taylor and the experiences she goes through are not what has happened to me, but there is an emotional expression that I think is the best way to say some things that I don't know how to say otherwise.  I am not Bob, either.  But you might find out some things about me by reading it.  And I hope it is a good read and you enjoy it.  I am not done with it.  If you would like to comment on it, I would appreciate it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
    • Sally Stone
      That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.   However, you look terrific in that selfie! 
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