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KymmieL

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1 hour ago, Jandi said:

LOL. I first read this as "night driving" - I used to know a girl that drove a barracuda.

thats a good one

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22 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

So they're harassing you in particular? Charming.

 

Sorry to hear about your HRT though, that's going to be miserable in about two weeks. Hopefully you can get back on it soon.

 

As for poly relationships... so long as you're not everybody else's rock. I've got a poly friend who likes to save people. That's great and all, but it makes her a magnet for people that really ought to be working on themselves instead of relying on my friend. I met one of her new girlfriends yesterday and I was not impressed. She can definately do better.

 

Apparently the complaint was why I can wear them and others cannot?

*Because I know how to wear them and have the right attitude.*

And the high-neck tank I was wearing was showing too much shoulder but the sleeveless dress I wore the day before did not. It's a very fine line.  The shoulder on the high-neck tank are 2in wide but hug my neck, the dress they're 1-3/4in wide but out a lot further. So, it's not so much about the actual width as it is about the placement. this is why I was confused.

 

Ugh, I'm already miserable. I'd get back on it as soon as I get home but I don't trust myself with needles with under the influence of anesthetic.

 

From what I can tell most of my partners have they're stuff together and are looking for the same in their partners. I will help but will NOT be that rock. I did that for way too long. One of the things I tell everyone up front is that they must be making a effort to better themselves in one way or another. "Cause I am NOT going through that again.

 

11 days.....

 

 

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I did a Zoom presentation last night to a group of women astrophotographers.  I was a bit nervous that my voice would out me, but if it did, no one commented on it.  It was fun.  I was well-prepared and knew what points I wanted to cover, so it went smoothly.  I had some nice feedback afterwards that I told them exactly the kind of stuff they needed to hear.

 

I am not "stealth".  Being outed by my voice is not a disaster, just annoying.  I just don't like my being trans to be a factor when the subject under discussion is something else like photography.

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Star said:

From what I can tell most of my partners have they're stuff together and are looking for the same in their partners. I will help but will NOT be that rock. I did that for way too long. One of the things I tell everyone up front is that they must be making a effort to better themselves in one way or another. "Cause I am NOT going through that again.

 

I LOVE that for you. It's exhausting to have to drag your partner along with you while you're trying to move forward.

 

The place I worked before this had a rule that the straps had to be one hand-width. That absolutely wasn't happening so I just wore t-shirts. They also had a rule about skirts without leggings. Both made sense, but most of the time, I just wore jeans and a t-shirt with a flannel shirt on top of that for safety reasons. A tough/loose outer-layer that you can slip out of could save you from injury. I'm surprised most of my co-workers weren't so careful.

Now my uniform is plain black tights with a plain black racerback tank-top. A little boring, but functional and I can show my shoulders off.

 

Hugs!

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Morning, everyone! Friday yet again, somehow successfully survived my first week back to school. The first 3 days were frustrating! So many obstacles that limited my time to plan out the week/semester but now it is more calmed down. I hope that by this time next week, I would say that I am more in the zone. Wish me luck! 💀

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OK, so it happened, everything finally caught up with me. I woke up this feeling a little off. I don't if my Matrix didn't load right or maybe my surrogate's broken but something.....

 

By 10am I was little Miss Fumblelina and could barely function. My supervisor called it and told me to go home. *We had been extremely short handed for the last two weeks. I was carrying the department more-or-less by myself and It finally caught up with me*

 

Go home? Sure,  no problem...oh wait, there's no one there and I really needed me some cuddles. Thankfully, one of my 'local' partner doesn't start work until 8pm so I stopped over and cuddled with her. It was the best nap I had in a long, long time.

 

I have another friend on her way over. Sounds like she needs to get away from her family for the night. She says we're not girlfriends but..... This meme will explain.

 

tumblr_pku59hbrSI1vwueok_640.jpg

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Today was a morning I got up for work and looked in the mirror and had a bit of a shock seeing myself as it seems like the upped Spiro dosage is helping. Now that my hair is long and my face countours are showing and my skin has that glow. 

As far as relationships, I have to remember I really didn't have an ability to have an authentic partnership with anyone until now and to be patient with the emotional peaks and valleys. I have become aware some of my behavior tends toward codependancy. The first time I was introduced to the idea was when my sister was in early recovery and she was reading a book called "Women Who Love Too Much" IIRC. So I know the past abandonment and trauma is playing a part in my perceptions, almost like PTSD, where you are always on guard for perceived threats.

My relationship has had some inadvertent distancing past few weeks but it has been good in practicing being OK and loving myself despite whatever circumstances. To have good self esteem I need to have a sense of self respect, too.

 

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It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday…(yes I sometimes borrow song lyrics)

 

Hi

 

yesterday was interesting in a way.  We had prescriptions to pick up.  Our insurance has a preferred pharmacy chain, CVS.  And since we moved we have been going to a different one.  I was picking up and the pharmacist comes out from behind the work area and fumbles a little but comes out and asks me, what is my preferred name and pronouns.  Now I realize if anyone knows the pharmacist does since I get HRT medications that would not be prescribed to a cis male, I dress female, but my records all say male.  I told her my name and she/her.  She thanked me and said she would update my records.  They wanted to treat me with respect etc.  I told her the assistant always treated me with respect and I appreciate that they do.  I was really pleased about that AND they made certain no one else was within earshot!

 

@Jandi I can see how your mind would read night driving instead of night DIVING.  I’m surprised auto correct didn’t change it.  
 

@JJ Orange good luck with your studies.  Glad you are gettIng settled back into the routine.

 

well I’m hoping to get one last push today to get my boat ready for pictures. And get it up for sale.  I’ve got the tools I’ll need with me to make it happen.

 

Willow

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1 hour ago, Willow said:

It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday…(yes I sometimes borrow song lyrics)

 

Hi

 

Now I realize if anyone knows the pharmacist does since I get HRT medications that would not be prescribed to a cis male, I dress female, but my records all say male.  I told her my name and she/her.  She thanked me and said she would update my records.  They wanted to treat me with respect etc.  I told her the assistant always treated me with respect and I appreciate that they do.  I was really pleased about that AND they made certain no one else was within earshot!

 

I have had similar experiences with CVS. My local CVS where I live has been so helpful in procuring my estradiol, especially when it was constrained. I have never been questioned or misgendered by the staff at my local CVS or even the ones I have went to across the country. 

 

Now Walgreen's...A few months ago I ordered some perfume to pick up at one of their stores. I ordered online, used a credit card  with my new preferred name on it (perfectly legal, and accepted everywhere else). They terminated the purchase and said that their fraud department blocked the purchase. I called and complained. I got constantly misgendered with "sir", and a bunch of I do not knows. I was very irritated. I complained several times to now avail. I order the same product with my dead name and credit card with the same number, and the purchase went through without a hitch. So Walgreen's emails me a survey. I fill it out. I received an email back that due to the negative comments, they would not use it.

 

I do not use Walgreen's anymore.

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Willow I think Billy Joel meant PM not AM.

 

Well the wife started it again. Me not doing anything around the house.  She had just told me about the grandkids visiting this weekend.  She mentioned going to the park. Then she said that they could play in the yard. Then she had to mow the lawn.  She complained about it by text.  We went back and forth a couple times. When I tell her that I will be putting the storm door on.  She changed her tune. It is getting harder and harder to figure her out. 

 

What started the texting. I get a call from my mom. She complained about me to her. 

 

Who knows?

 

Hugs,

Kymmie 

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Going out today with Mark on our second date. We are going hiking on the Appalachian trail and then later dinner and dancing!!! I am very excited but right now I am having to decide my hiking outfit. I never would have thought that there would come a day that I had to decide on what to wear to go hiking!! LOL.

 

Jeans or yoga pants? Jeans are probably more practical but dam my a$$ looks good in the yoga pants!!!

 

Any advice??

 

Thanks

~Rachel

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@CD Rachel I hope you didn’t learn the hard way but I think skinny jeans would have been a better choice on the Appalachian Trail.  Where did you go?  Blue Ridge? Skyline Drive? Further south?  When the humidity is low you can see for miles.  It’s beautiful up there in the fall.  
 

My first date with my wife was on the Skyline Drive not too far off the Appalachian Trail.  And we’ve been back there hiking many many times until I just wasn’t physically able.  My son and I have back packed on sections in Virginia too.

 

@KymmieL it was 9 pm somewhere wasn’t it?  When I borrow a lyric I don’t always use it as originally intended.  But it’s usually better than my own dribble.  
 

regarding your wife, I think it must be the weather, or the alignment in the stars.  My wife has been quick to complain this week too.  This morning she admitted she has been grumpy.

 

who knows.  Maybe someday we will understand when we are fully indoctrinated into womanhood.

 

WILLOW

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@Willow I would hate to see our wives together. We'd never hear the end of complaints. They might even gang up on us.

 

It has to be something the angle of the sun in relationship to the position of the high tide.

 

I know what it is, We are both living in new houses. It has to be it. I don't think it is something in the water. LOL.

 

Kymmie

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Gooooood morning coffee readers.

 

well, I did manage to get the 160# outboard engine off the boat by myself.  Nothing like a chain hoist and some leverage.  But after that I clearly over did it and didn’t get anything else done.

 

Whether you are a Jeep lover of a Jeep hater, I have enjoyed having mine.  But I think that ship has sailed.  My wife, who I might add is the one who wanted a Jeep in the first place, can’t drive it.turns out she sits too low and can’t see safely past the huge rear view mirrors.  We are looking into trading it in to downsize it something she can drive.  I checked into all the makes we are willing to buy, then set out to look at each one.  One brand the closest vehicle to look at was 80 miles away.  Not going that far just to have a look.  One is about a stones throw away, we went there and liked what we saw.  And another was about 10 miles away.  That one was a definite NO!  Sure there are other brands out there but they were either outside the price range I had set or were a brand I’d owned before and have sworn, never again!.  We like the close by dealer, we’ve done business with them before.  We like the brand the sell, and they had a vehicle I would consider owning.  I need to prep the Jeep before we talk trade. But they were already salivating over the possibility of having it on there lot.

 

@KymmieL, you have a good point or two.  Yes we both have new or new to us homes.  My problem is we’ve been here 2 months and they still are working to fix the damage caused by the careless plumber.  And I agree, it would not be a good idea to get them together.  The rathe they might cook up would be impossible.

 

Our granddaughter will be here next Saturday.  We are really looking forward to having them here. (She is bringing a friend). They will be here about 10 or so days.  She wants to look at a school here and that’s ok with us.  Might even mean she’d live with us for a while.  We’d love to have her.  
 

Things aren’t getting done sitting around drinking coffee and writing to all of you, even though I can’t really think of anything more enjoyable.  I’ve got dishes to wash and a shower to take,  an Outboard to sell, and so many chores.  Life doesn’t end at retirement or at least not for me.

 

Willow

 

 

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Good morning, friends! 
Sunday and working on some school stuff. Ice coffee coming soon and I am ready to just sleep early later on today. 
I had a mental conversation with myself this week about surgery. I think that I am willing to do it, but the problem (aside from money) is the reactions of family members. My distant family does not mind their own business and once anything is brought up, better believe it that it spreads to every blood-relation. 
I have family who will find any little aspect of a person to ridicule/bully them. 
There are times, like these, where I want to live on Pluto..

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10 hours ago, JJ Orange said:

Good morning, friends! 
Sunday and working on some school stuff. Ice coffee coming soon and I am ready to just sleep early later on today. 
I had a mental conversation with myself this week about surgery. I think that I am willing to do it, but the problem (aside from money) is the reactions of family members. My distant family does not mind their own business and once anything is brought up, better believe it that it spreads to every blood-relation. 
I have family who will find any little aspect of a person to ridicule/bully them. 
There are times, like these, where I want to live on Pluto..

challenges (not problems).  $$$ I don't know where you live or go to school but there are many insurance plans that cover surgeries. In fact, I'm pretty sure they have to cover bottom surg at the least.  If you are on the west coast, CO, GA or the DC/MD/VA there is Kaiser which covers everything.  I know almost all non-religious schools cover the mental health and hrt.  But basically, you start to look at who do I choose to work for based on their insurance coverage.  Once you are done with surgeries, then look for a better job if needed.

Family is tough but you just have to bite the bullet. Most people over react in the beginning then things settle down. True, maybe they have a lifetime of not respecting you but they might at least settle into a place of ignoring it.  If your family becomes unbearable, then break off contact. No one needs that kinda streetment, nor should they tolerate it.  Transition at your own pace and do the things that you need to do, regardless of how others feel about it. 

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On 8/18/2022 at 7:01 AM, Elizabeth Star said:

@Bri202041 days, wow, congratulations. You're not going to forget about us afterwards are you?

 

Managing all those people isn't as hard as it might seem. It's not like I see each one of them every day. At the moment there's only 3 that I see with any regularity. The others, it's mostly we text or talk on messenger. It's the idea of having someone else in your life that cares and will listen that can make all the difference in the world. And I do care. They message me, I message back, immediately. Not hours later.

 

I got the official word on Tuesday to stop taking my HRT meds, That includes my Progesterone and sleep aids (no NSAIDs). I really need my Tylenol PM or NyQuil Z. I literally cannot sleep with out them so I'm back on the Ambien. I took that stuff every night for 15 years and was happy to get away from it at the beginning of the year. Thankfully it's only for a couple of weeks.

 

I got pulled into a meeting with the VP at work again. Something about my skirts being too short. It probably because I started wearing then up around my waist instead down at my hips. But, I found out, despite what my supervisory told me, there is no issue or policy with wearing dresses, skirts and open toed shoes.

 

 

I will continue to hang with you all even after my surgery never fear.  You all are like family to me.

Weird how every surgeon has different rules concerning hrt before surgery. My boob guy and the guy who did my ffs and will do my bottom surg don't care about the HRT and you can stay on them. 

On 8/18/2022 at 4:17 PM, Jandi said:

LOL. I first read this as "night driving" - I used to know a girl that drove a barracuda.

Ahh- those barracudas were the bomb. I always wanted a 71 roadrunner convertible with a 383 "six pack" setup. The cuda chassis was certainly tighter and a faster car but I just loved the stretched out body on the sateleights and RRs.

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My Friday didn't quit go as I predicted. My "not girlfriend" only stayed for a couple hours. Mostly she just wanted to eat her dinner, which she brought with, in peace. She was in my house so I waited on her hand and foot. After she left I headed out to the gaming lounge to kill some time and hang with my cuddle-buddy gf. When things started to slow down and I was thinking about heading home one of my other gf's messaged me. She was heading home from a fund-raiser and wanted to meet up so, off I went. We must of been quit the site walking into the bar arm-in-arm. I was in that super creep outfit I posted Friday in the what are you wearing thread and she was dressed to kill in a blue spaghetti strap, glitter having dress. We really do get know each other in little meetings. I found out she has been suppressing the U-Haul Lesbian feelings she has for me since our second date. We decided we'd get separate places since neither of us want to argue about where to out the toaster.

We stayed until closing, again. This time it was raining so I went for a walk down the block to pick  my car to drive her to hers. After an appropriate goodbye, I was headed home. And it all started again on Saturday.....same but different...

 

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Well, my wife and youngest son. Are getting more accepting. Yesterday, my wife was behind me running her hands across my chest. She clearly felt my bra. Nothing said. Today I was wearing a woman's T with a sports bra.  The straps clearly showed at times. Again nothing said. This is not the first time.

 

I am looking to push it in a couple weeks. I have an appointment to get my brows waxed and then my hair done. I am seriously looking to get my brows done with the proper womanly arch.

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I give up on all of humanity. I just give up. I hate this hypocritical species. I hate life

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Monday Morning 9 am.

 

ok I modified it a lot.  My apologies to Paul and Art.

 

We got a fair amount of rain yesterday but nothing like Friday and nothing like they are getting out west.  Too bad they can’t reroute the run off into lake Mead or the Great Salt Lake.  We are getting more today.  At least we aren’t getting the wind along with it.  
 

going with a single today, not a pot.  I’ll have to see later if that was a good choice.  
 

@Elizabeth Star your girl friends seem quite amazing. You certainly don’t seem to lack for friends who want to be with you.

 

Nothing really going on here, so I won’t bore anyone with dribble.

 

@Heather Nicole sounds like maybe you need to talk to someone.  Please!

 

Willow

 

 

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5 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

I give up on all of humanity. I just give up. I hate this hypocritical species. I hate life

I haven't completely given up.. I just don't expect much.

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Hang in there Heather Nicole. There are plenty of good humans out there but sometimes it's just hard to see them through all the -crap- in the world. 

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6 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

I give up on all of humanity. I just give up. I hate this hypocritical species. I hate life

 

@Heather Nicole I love you. Rest, but please don't give up. 

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Good morning everyone,

 

The coffee is my normal home brew of Folgers Black Silk, served HOT, strong and black.

My life is so busy right now that I'm not able to do much more that quick scans and readings of the forums.

 

@Heather Nicole You are worthy, valued, and loved. Hypocrisy is everywhere, and we're always meet face to face with double standards. It's okay to be down right now, disappointed with your current events going on. I do believe you're going to make it through this tough time, with a good out come. Just read the song titles you list in you attached signature.

 

"I'm...still...standing...after all this time" - Elton John

"It's my life and it's now or never"  - Bon Jovi

"What sparks joy?" - Kondo-sensei

Profile photo is heavily doctored by AI, realities may vary.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
    • Sally Stone
      That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.   However, you look terrific in that selfie! 
    • Sally Stone
      April, I'm so glad things went well when you came out to your spouse.  So often, things can go sideways.  It's a hurdle we all have to jump at some point.
    • violet r
      I totally understand what you just said. I can relate to this very well. I have a lot.of similar feelings.
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