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KymmieL

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9 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Well bored here at work.  Off in 45 minutes.  I actually have a friend at work.  Who doesn't care if I am trans or normal.  (Well I'm not that either)

 

Bup bup bup. Trans or cis. Both are perfectly normal. Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie.

 

Hugs!

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Good morning everyone, 

 

Today’s coffee is brought to us by Bryan, OH fire department. Today is “A” shift, and “C” shift wanted us to earn the coffee, by duct tapping the lid on. It’s never a dull day at a fire house where everyone is your Brother/Sister. 
 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🏳️‍⚧️🐛🦋

FC0B4CF1-D7D4-4B90-9966-6C1D7851E386.jpeg

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Good morning coffee readers and drinkers


My Botox injections were a bit abnormal yesterday.  The doctor got the first one no issues but the second one took several tries. Before she got it in the correct location. She wants me to do a swallow test because of some issues I’m having.  Dry food like dry biscuits or over cooked meat gets stuck and I struggle to clear it.

 

After the injections I got me Covid booster and picked up my patches at the pharmacy.

 

We stopped at our favorite pizza place, Gramaldi’s , for a late lunch.  If you are unfamiliar with them, they are from Brooklyn and use a coal fired oven.  then we went to Chicos for a little fall shopping.

 

I don’t expect to try for a name change.  Even though Ohio, where I was born, was finally forced to allow name and gender changes by Lamda legal, it’s still a sticky process from what I’ve heard.

 

not worth it.  I’ve looked into legalizing an alias but that doesn’t seem to be possible.

 

You know, one of my wife’s concerns, her biggest at this point is that I will get attacked, or get into trouble using the womens restroom.  But she also knows using the mens would automatically be worse.  I try to use family restrooms but they aren’t always provided or are occupied.

 

Anybody have similar concerns?  What’s your response?

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

 

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@Willow I used womens restrooms, presenting as  as female, in 48 states while working  on the road.  
 

Had some uncomfortable situations and even saw signs posted on womens rooms (graphically describing what would be done to men/trans women using them.)

 

but nothing was as hairy as when I chickened out of the womens room and entered a busy mens room at an isolated truck stop,  Ong I was scared cold sweat by what seemed imminent with the men in that particular situation.  . 

Follow my gut all my life, use sixth sense as an alarm to move on with no delay.  


Just posting this I’ve thought of like a dozen examples of this in my transition.  I’ll never really know what would’ve transpired if I didn’t act,. But you have to trust your angels and your gut.

Accept no drink you don’t trust. 

 

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3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Bup bup bup. Trans or cis. Both are perfectly normal. Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie.

 

Hugs!

AMEN! One of my ex-wife's favorite sayings is "normal is a setting on the dryer." There's a lot of truth in that.

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2 hours ago, Willow said:

You know, one of my wife’s concerns, her biggest at this point is that I will get attacked, or get into trouble using the womens restroom.  But she also knows using the mens would automatically be worse.  I try to use family restrooms but they aren’t always provided or are occupied.

 

Anybody have similar concerns?  What’s your response?

 

I was nervous at first about using the women's restroom.  But, in 6 years, I have had only one questionable experience, and no truly bad experiences.  I am a woman, and the women's room is where I belong.  I don't act furtive; I don't try to hide; I smile if someone catches my eye.  I speak if spoken to (paying attention to how my voice comes out, of course).

 

On the other hand, using the men's room is simply not an option.  I would visibly not belong there, and I would feel very unsafe.  The only way I would use the men's room would be at a large concert or sporting event where a group (for self-protection) of women sometimes will invade the men's room because the lineups for the women's are too long.  I wouldn't dare on my own.

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2 hours ago, Willow said:

After the injections I got me Covid booster and picked up my patches at the pharmacy.

 

I got my booster yesterday, too! [highfive!]

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On 9/16/2022 at 10:08 AM, Mmindy said:

That’s great Rhonda. Congratulations 

 

Hugs, 

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Yay!

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9 hours ago, Willow said:

Anybody have similar concerns?  What’s your response?

When I first came out, my safety was something that my ex was concerned about.  

 

I use women's restrooms if they're single occupancy.  I have used the larger ones, but I try to avoid them.  I'd be scared to use a men's one.  I have mentioned that I keep a "Pee Jar" in my car for times I don't feel safe.

 

There have been times I didn't go somewhere, or attend an event because of this issue because it will come up.  I kinda know the places in town where I feel safe, or the facilities are non-gendered.

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4 minutes ago, Ivy said:

When I first came out, my safety was something that my ex was concerned about.  

 

I use women's restrooms if they're single occupancy.  I have used the larger ones, but I try to avoid them.  I'd be scared to use a men's one.  I have mentioned that I keep a "Pee Jar" in my car for times I don't feel safe.

 

There have been times I didn't go somewhere, or attend an event because of this issue because it will come up.  I kinda know the places in town where I feel safe, or the facilities are non-gendered.

When I went on my first date about 2 and half years ago I used the women's room and have never gone back to a male room. I will take unisex if it's like Starbucks. I used to go in and out, but now that I pass very well. I stop at the mirror and check my look. I guess I'm somewhat vain 

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While I still mostly use the male restroom. When I am with my wife. When I do use the ladies room if I ever have a problem. I just pull out my license, in the eyes of the state of WY. I am a female.  

 

Kymmie 

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I am less concerned than my wife but I thought it was worth raising the question. Knock on wood I have not run into a problem in a women’s room. But I can see that in the wrong place it could become an issue. Like others said I get in and out as quietly as I can. I smile and do the things that all women do but the less visible the better. 

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For about a year, I was a volunteer in the office of a hospice organization that had a very strong pro-transgender policy. All they asked was that I be consistent in my presentation as female. The person with whom I worked constantly encouraged me to use the ladies' restroom, but I never did.

 

It wasn't a matter of being fearful. I had done so previously in public venues without a problem. In this case, the overriding feeling was that I didn't want to create an awkward situation for any of the employees. Everyone was always so nice to me, and I thought (wrongly, I'm sure) that I might somehow jeopardize some of those wonderful relationships.

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Good morning 

 

I avoid truck stops but last year on our coast to coast trip I used the interstate reststops then on the way home after my breakdown it didn’t matter since I wasn’t dressed.  
 

We are going to a farmers market today and then my wife wants to go to Chicos.  She’s lost weight and needs some smaller fall clothes.  She started on a diet plan and it’s working for her.  Personally I’m struggling but I think is HRT related. I was doing pretty good up until I went to only E.

 

I listed my boat for sale yesterday and got a response rather quickly. It involves cash plus a trade.  I’m considering taking it.

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14 hours ago, StephieGurl said:

I stop at the mirror and check my look. I guess I'm somewhat vain 

I don't feel it's being vain. A lot of women use the opportunity to check and fix their look. I know I do it.

 

On 9/17/2022 at 8:05 AM, Willow said:

You know, one of my wife’s concerns, her biggest at this point is that I will get attacked, or get into trouble using the womens restroom.  But she also knows using the mens would automatically be worse.  I try to use family restrooms but they aren’t always provided or are occupied.

That was my wife's concern too but I have yet to have any issues. If I ever do, I'd do what Kymmie said and just show my ID.

 

The last time I used a men's room I was washing my hands and had a guy walk in on me. He took a double take at me and then double checked the sign on the door. He made a comment about thinking he had gone into the wrong one. That was the last time I used a men's room.

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Last Friday on my way home from work my company car started to make a lot of crazy noises. It sounded like valves rattling and a rod knock. I was able to get back to the office on Monday. Later I was pulled in to talk with our VP. We had a chat about how I'm not doing much if any field work these days and don't need the company car anymore. Thought this was going to suck since I haven't had to drive my own car in 20 years. Where thing made a turn is, the owner gave me one of the other cars they have. Like I own it, gave to me. I don't think he'll ever know how much that means to me especially since I have no other way to get to work if I have car problems. Now I have a back up.

 

Today is the big day. I get to go bra shopping. As of tomorrow I can start wearing regular bras again. I was told I need a supportive one for during the day but I could wear a lighter one to sleep in. I want something cute and comfy so I'm heading to VS first.

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5 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

That was my wife's concern too but I have yet to have any issues. If I ever do, I'd do what Kymmie said and just show my ID.

It is a official government ID. So legally I am "F"

 

It was comical when we were closing. I had to fill in and sign a form about my gender. They must have seen my license and were confused. Unfortunately I put down M.

 

Hugs

Kymmie

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Hi, back from our day out. The farmers market was a bit disappointing although we bought some really good honey.  Comes from a farm not far from our home.  The at Chicos, my wife got two pairs of slacks and a blouse for $100 after coupons applied.  That’s a good deal.

 

@KymmieL sounds like you missed an opportunity there.

 

Lizzy sounds like a great day/weekend a car and bra shopping.  A week or two ago I walked into a ladies room and I thought there was a man in there, I backed out enough to check the door I was right. But it wasn’t a man either.  How embarrassing.

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I was able to get two bras from VS. After I tried on a couple, I resigned to ask for help and to be measured. I'm officially a 36DD. I got a black one with the PINK logo, a light blue (Yes, not black) wire-free one and a roll-on perfume. VS Bombshell is one of my favorites. I spent a bit more than I intended but I'll have these bras for quite a while and they're super comfy.

 

Found out my BFF's youngest has COVID so hopefully I don't get it. I really, really don't want to get it again. She must have known I was talking about her. Just got a message, no one else in her family has it.

 

I'm still drained from yesterday so I'm calling it an early night.

 

 

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Up early to get to 9 month blood work done. Drinking coffee from yesterday. This blood draw before I dose E, because I told my Endo I was doing sublingual and it might have thrown the numbers off so soon after taking it. She said doing oral is fine, sublingual and patches and injections are more for pre-existing conditions I guess. The biggest thing is if I am progressing, and I am, and staying clear of dangerous levels. 

Finally ran into a fellow woman coworker in the women's restroom but she was one of the ones i would have chosen anyway, but I admit I did get a little paranoid because I really didn't get the official "green light" and as far as it was discussed, i was using the coed bathroom. But I figure it's just time to fully step into my womanhood and generally, my employer is really professional and the whole work transition has gone without a hitch.

I been wanting to bra shop but in the meantime I got some Nipppy's and actually they work just as advertised. A little different, but an alternative to wearing a bra with a top with thin fabric, or something that requires strapless. They just stay on, even when I was hot and sweaty one time. You just have to keep them clean.  

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On 9/17/2022 at 7:07 PM, Ivy said:

When I first came out, my safety was something that my ex was concerned about.  

 

I use women's restrooms if they're single occupancy.  I have used the larger ones, but I try to avoid them.  I'd be scared to use a men's one.  I have mentioned that I keep a "Pee Jar" in my car for times I don't feel safe.

 

There have been times I didn't go somewhere, or attend an event because of this issue because it will come up.  I kinda know the places in town where I feel safe, or the facilities are non-gendered.

When I went on my first date about 2 and half years ago I used the women's room and have never gone back to a male room. I will take unisex if it's like Starbucks. I used to go in and out, but now that I pass very well. I stop at the mirror and check my look. I guess I'm somewhat vain 

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14 minutes ago, StephieGurl said:

Well, I hope I'm not thrown out of here because instead of coffee, I'm drinking Dr. Pepper. 

You'll be fine. Welcome to the coffee clutch.

 

Kymmie

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1 minute ago, Hannah Renee said:

You're not alone. The last time coffee ever touched my lips was about 30 years ago - and that was only because I was told it was hot chocolate. That's what I get for trying to drink while distracted.

I do drink coffee, but it is usually cold with a dash of heavy cream. But not this morning.

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1 hour ago, Hannah Renee said:

OMG! Does that mean I'm alone?😯 Actually, I don't do hot liquids at all, including soup. The last time I intentionally drank something hot was like the winter of 1980, at a ski resort on Mt Charleston, outside of Vegas. Hot apple cider.

There days I go without coffee more often not, so your not totally alone🙃

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      My wife's nurse was just here.  It is a whole lot easier to relate to her as another woman than to negotiate m/f dynamics and feel like I have to watch myself as a male around her.  It dropped a lot of the tension off, tension that I thought entirely internal to myself, but it made interactions a whole lot better.     I read your post, so I thought I would go look.   In the mirror I did not see a woman; instead I saw all these male features.  In the past that has been enough for me to flip and say 'this is all stupid ridiculous why do I do this I am never going to do this again I am going to the basement RIGHT NOW to get men's stuff and I feel like purging'.  Instead I smiled, shrugged my shoulders and came back here.  Panties fit, women's jeans fit.  My T shirt says DAD on it, something I do not want to give up, but a woman might crazily steal hubby's t-shirt and wear it.  I steal my own clothes all the time.    But she is here, this woman I liked it when I saw her yesterday. and her day will come.  I hope to see her again.
    • April Marie
      So many things become easier when you finally turn that corner and see "you" in the mirror. Shedding the guilt, the fear, the questioning becomes possible - as does self-love - when that person looking back at you, irrespective of what you're wearing, is the real you.   I am so happy for you!! Enjoy the journey and where it leads you.
    • MaeBe
      I'm sure even the most transphobic parents would, too. What does it hurt if a child socializes outside of their family in a way that allows them to understand themselves better? I have encountered a handful of kids do the binary, non-binary, back to binary route and they got to learn about themselves. In the end, there may have been some social self-harm but kids are so darned accepting these days. And really, schools aren't policing pronouns, but the laws that are coming out are making them do so--and in turn requiring a report to a parent that may cause some form of harm to the child.   If the kid wants to lie to, or keep secrets from, their parents about their gender expressions, what does it say about the parents? Perhaps a little socialization of their thoughts will give them the personal information to have those conversations with them? So when they do want to have that conversation they can do so with some self-awareness. This isn't a parent's rights issue, it's about forcing a "moral code" onto schools that they must now enforce--in a way that doesn't appreciably assist parents or provide benefit to children.   So, a child that transitioned at 5 and now in middle/high school that is by all rights female must now go into a bathroom full of dudes? What about trans men, how will the be treated in the girl's restroom? I see a lot of fantasy predator fearmongering in this kind of comment. All a trans kid wants to do in a bathroom is to handle their bodily functions in peace. Ideally there would be no gendered restrooms or, at least, a valid option for people to choose a non-gendered restroom. However, where is the actual harm happening? A trans girl in a boy's room is going experience more harm than a girl being uncomfortable about a trans girl going into and out of a stall.   How about we teach our children that trans people aren't predators who are trying to game the system to eek out some sexual deviancy via loophole? How about we treat gender in a way that doesn't enforce the idea that girls are prey and boys are  predators? How about we teach them trans kids are just kids who want to get on with their day like everyone else?
    • Adrianna Danielle
      I hope so and glad he loves and accepts me for who I am

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