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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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@Hannah Renee well first thank you  I’m glad you find things I share helpful or interesting.  I try to share things I feel are useful for others, and I try to inject some humor.  @KymmieL and I share some banter here because we started in the same place, and have a number of similarities in our lives.  And as friends with everyone here we enjoy reading about others and offering what has happened to us.  Also asking for help at times.  That to me is the biggest reason to be here.  Creating friendships and helping each other through sharing.  And if we can add some humor that just makes it all better..

 

sorry to hear you have chronic heart issues and are concerned about family history of the same.  I have some family history of death due to cancer, but the majority of my family have enjoyed long lives at least mid 80s.  I have recently submitted my dna to a medical research study that aledges it will tell me any number of things including health concern to watch for.

 

good luck

 

Willow 

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Got some bad news on my name changing today.  I had been told that since I have an original birth certificate, a notary could make a copy for me to use.  This is not the case.  And since it's from another state I'll need to get one from there… 90 - 100 business days.  So, I guess maybe sometime next year I might be able to start over… maybe?

Kinda depressed at the moment.  Oh well.  It was a nice idea I guess.

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Good morning, 


Today is my two year HRT-anniversary!  I will be celebrating by posting that here and elsewhere, it's like having a birthday that no one knows, just me celebrating in my own head. 

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13 hours ago, Ivy said:

So, I guess maybe sometime next year I might be able to start over… maybe?

I’m sorry you had a information setback Ivy. You may find that the 90 to 100 day response is a standard response, real time for the documents is much faster. Don’t give up, stay persistent, and focused. 
 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛😋🦋

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4 hours ago, RhondaS said:

Good morning, 


Today is my two year HRT-anniversary!  I will be celebrating by posting that here and elsewhere, it's like having a birthday that no one knows, just me celebrating in my own head. 

That’s great Rhonda. Congratulations 

 

Hugs, 

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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14 hours ago, Ivy said:

Got some bad news on my name changing today.  I had been told that since I have an original birth certificate, a notary could make a copy for me to use.  This is not the case.  And since it's from another state I'll need to get one from there… 90 - 100 business days.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I had a similar experience, and it's not fun. Hugs.

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Well bored here at work.  Off in 45 minutes.  I actually have a friend at work.  Who doesn't care if I am trans or normal.  (Well I'm not that either)

 

We have each other's backs. We had a great talk earlier.  I learned more about the so called supportive other's here at the store.  We each have our problems.  

 

Kymmie 

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9 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Well bored here at work.  Off in 45 minutes.  I actually have a friend at work.  Who doesn't care if I am trans or normal.  (Well I'm not that either)

 

Bup bup bup. Trans or cis. Both are perfectly normal. Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie.

 

Hugs!

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Good morning everyone, 

 

Today’s coffee is brought to us by Bryan, OH fire department. Today is “A” shift, and “C” shift wanted us to earn the coffee, by duct tapping the lid on. It’s never a dull day at a fire house where everyone is your Brother/Sister. 
 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🏳️‍⚧️🐛🦋

FC0B4CF1-D7D4-4B90-9966-6C1D7851E386.jpeg

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Good morning coffee readers and drinkers


My Botox injections were a bit abnormal yesterday.  The doctor got the first one no issues but the second one took several tries. Before she got it in the correct location. She wants me to do a swallow test because of some issues I’m having.  Dry food like dry biscuits or over cooked meat gets stuck and I struggle to clear it.

 

After the injections I got me Covid booster and picked up my patches at the pharmacy.

 

We stopped at our favorite pizza place, Gramaldi’s , for a late lunch.  If you are unfamiliar with them, they are from Brooklyn and use a coal fired oven.  then we went to Chicos for a little fall shopping.

 

I don’t expect to try for a name change.  Even though Ohio, where I was born, was finally forced to allow name and gender changes by Lamda legal, it’s still a sticky process from what I’ve heard.

 

not worth it.  I’ve looked into legalizing an alias but that doesn’t seem to be possible.

 

You know, one of my wife’s concerns, her biggest at this point is that I will get attacked, or get into trouble using the womens restroom.  But she also knows using the mens would automatically be worse.  I try to use family restrooms but they aren’t always provided or are occupied.

 

Anybody have similar concerns?  What’s your response?

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

 

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@Willow I used womens restrooms, presenting as  as female, in 48 states while working  on the road.  
 

Had some uncomfortable situations and even saw signs posted on womens rooms (graphically describing what would be done to men/trans women using them.)

 

but nothing was as hairy as when I chickened out of the womens room and entered a busy mens room at an isolated truck stop,  Ong I was scared cold sweat by what seemed imminent with the men in that particular situation.  . 

Follow my gut all my life, use sixth sense as an alarm to move on with no delay.  


Just posting this I’ve thought of like a dozen examples of this in my transition.  I’ll never really know what would’ve transpired if I didn’t act,. But you have to trust your angels and your gut.

Accept no drink you don’t trust. 

 

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3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Bup bup bup. Trans or cis. Both are perfectly normal. Don't be so hard on yourself sweetie.

 

Hugs!

AMEN! One of my ex-wife's favorite sayings is "normal is a setting on the dryer." There's a lot of truth in that.

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2 hours ago, Willow said:

You know, one of my wife’s concerns, her biggest at this point is that I will get attacked, or get into trouble using the womens restroom.  But she also knows using the mens would automatically be worse.  I try to use family restrooms but they aren’t always provided or are occupied.

 

Anybody have similar concerns?  What’s your response?

 

I was nervous at first about using the women's restroom.  But, in 6 years, I have had only one questionable experience, and no truly bad experiences.  I am a woman, and the women's room is where I belong.  I don't act furtive; I don't try to hide; I smile if someone catches my eye.  I speak if spoken to (paying attention to how my voice comes out, of course).

 

On the other hand, using the men's room is simply not an option.  I would visibly not belong there, and I would feel very unsafe.  The only way I would use the men's room would be at a large concert or sporting event where a group (for self-protection) of women sometimes will invade the men's room because the lineups for the women's are too long.  I wouldn't dare on my own.

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2 hours ago, Willow said:

After the injections I got me Covid booster and picked up my patches at the pharmacy.

 

I got my booster yesterday, too! [highfive!]

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On 9/16/2022 at 10:08 AM, Mmindy said:

That’s great Rhonda. Congratulations 

 

Hugs, 

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Yay!

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9 hours ago, Willow said:

Anybody have similar concerns?  What’s your response?

When I first came out, my safety was something that my ex was concerned about.  

 

I use women's restrooms if they're single occupancy.  I have used the larger ones, but I try to avoid them.  I'd be scared to use a men's one.  I have mentioned that I keep a "Pee Jar" in my car for times I don't feel safe.

 

There have been times I didn't go somewhere, or attend an event because of this issue because it will come up.  I kinda know the places in town where I feel safe, or the facilities are non-gendered.

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4 minutes ago, Ivy said:

When I first came out, my safety was something that my ex was concerned about.  

 

I use women's restrooms if they're single occupancy.  I have used the larger ones, but I try to avoid them.  I'd be scared to use a men's one.  I have mentioned that I keep a "Pee Jar" in my car for times I don't feel safe.

 

There have been times I didn't go somewhere, or attend an event because of this issue because it will come up.  I kinda know the places in town where I feel safe, or the facilities are non-gendered.

When I went on my first date about 2 and half years ago I used the women's room and have never gone back to a male room. I will take unisex if it's like Starbucks. I used to go in and out, but now that I pass very well. I stop at the mirror and check my look. I guess I'm somewhat vain 

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While I still mostly use the male restroom. When I am with my wife. When I do use the ladies room if I ever have a problem. I just pull out my license, in the eyes of the state of WY. I am a female.  

 

Kymmie 

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I am less concerned than my wife but I thought it was worth raising the question. Knock on wood I have not run into a problem in a women’s room. But I can see that in the wrong place it could become an issue. Like others said I get in and out as quietly as I can. I smile and do the things that all women do but the less visible the better. 

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The first time I used a multiple-stall ladies room was when @Elizabeth StaraND I attended that small venue concert a few months ago. At intermission, I just went with her and the crowd. I discovered that I just need to behave as if I belonged, and she was/is so confidence inspiring. Still haven't done Walmart, tho. I don't take road trips, so the rest stop scene is an experience I've yet to fret about.

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For about a year, I was a volunteer in the office of a hospice organization that had a very strong pro-transgender policy. All they asked was that I be consistent in my presentation as female. The person with whom I worked constantly encouraged me to use the ladies' restroom, but I never did.

 

It wasn't a matter of being fearful. I had done so previously in public venues without a problem. In this case, the overriding feeling was that I didn't want to create an awkward situation for any of the employees. Everyone was always so nice to me, and I thought (wrongly, I'm sure) that I might somehow jeopardize some of those wonderful relationships.

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Good morning 

 

I avoid truck stops but last year on our coast to coast trip I used the interstate reststops then on the way home after my breakdown it didn’t matter since I wasn’t dressed.  
 

We are going to a farmers market today and then my wife wants to go to Chicos.  She’s lost weight and needs some smaller fall clothes.  She started on a diet plan and it’s working for her.  Personally I’m struggling but I think is HRT related. I was doing pretty good up until I went to only E.

 

I listed my boat for sale yesterday and got a response rather quickly. It involves cash plus a trade.  I’m considering taking it.

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14 hours ago, StephieGurl said:

I stop at the mirror and check my look. I guess I'm somewhat vain 

I don't feel it's being vain. A lot of women use the opportunity to check and fix their look. I know I do it.

 

On 9/17/2022 at 8:05 AM, Willow said:

You know, one of my wife’s concerns, her biggest at this point is that I will get attacked, or get into trouble using the womens restroom.  But she also knows using the mens would automatically be worse.  I try to use family restrooms but they aren’t always provided or are occupied.

That was my wife's concern too but I have yet to have any issues. If I ever do, I'd do what Kymmie said and just show my ID.

 

The last time I used a men's room I was washing my hands and had a guy walk in on me. He took a double take at me and then double checked the sign on the door. He made a comment about thinking he had gone into the wrong one. That was the last time I used a men's room.

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