Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Heather Nicole]

8 minutes ago, Marcie Jensen said:

I understand. The same thing happened to me this past year. My E levels went, in order, from 119 to 56 to 51 to 49. Then I got my doctor to up the prescription to 3 patches and add progesterone. That seemed to stabilize me, and I am now at a pretty consistent 149 E level. Keep in mind though that everyone is different, so I would suggest you have an open discussion with your doctor about what's going on and why.

 

I guess some weirdness with E levels isn't so uncommon then. I was really puzzled last time when, after increasing my E dosage (albiet a small increase) and starting on spiro, my E levels went down from about 63 to 47. I'd even been careful to get the blood drawn at the same point within my patch cycle. My doc didn't seem especially concerned either. So after that, I'm up to 2 patches now, but I have little doubt I'll be up to 3 of them next time I go back in, in December.

 

I have an Uncle who wears a blood sugar monitor that's constantly checking his blood sugar level all day and shows him a graph of how it's been fluctuating. It's inconvenient, for sure, but sometimes I can't help wishing I had something like that for estradiol! 😜

[Heather Nicole]

Well I'm kind of excited, a little bit nervous though. I finally managed to find a new potential therapist. She sounds good on paper. I have my first (virtual) meeting with her in...a little less than an hour. I've been looking forward to seeing how this goes, although any time I'm not sure what to expect there can be a bit of anxiety. Fingers crossed...

[KymmieL]

@Willow I bet this has happened to you

 

Well today finally got the screen door on the the back of the house done. Was my half day today, I got it mostly done before the wife got home from work. She is now painting the stairs. In mid 50 degree weather. I already got a thank you, don't think I will get a thank you kiss. Oh, well.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

[Mandy Jo]

New workplace being good to me,English teacher at a high school.Been there since August and learning about me being a crossdresser fulltime.Includes most of the students

[Willow]

@KymmieL yes that has happened to me more than once.  But it’s not the only thing.  
 

not feeling much like talking right now.

[Mandy Jo]

Was happy after seeing the lady that does my nails was there at the salon I go to after work.She was going through breast cancer treatments and found out she was cancer free yesterday.Knows me well,I love the blues and reds.Decided on cherry red color.She knows I am a crossdresser and loves working with the transgender people and crossdressers.

[Mmindy]

On 10/4/2022 at 10:25 AM, Jani said:

I love that one @Mmindy!  So tasty.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎💖💝

 

🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Maddee]

23 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Morning coffee in bed isn't quite as relaxing as it use to be #Dilationschedule. 

 

Suggest you commit to never missing a dilation.  Ever. 
I was laid up a couple days from another surgery and unable to dilate. Then when I got back to it, I didn’t use as much effort for depth for a few more days.  (It really was unbearable)

Missed 48hours

+ several days 1/2 effort

= Significant loss.  

V Surgery methods differ, but in my case it is most unforgiving.  
Going to be a lot of work, time, and pain to get it back.  I intend to😊
Enjoy your coffee ladies🌈🌈

[Billie75B]

23 hours ago, Marcie Jensen said:

I understand. The same thing happened to me this past year. My E levels went, in order, from 119 to 56 to 51 to 49. Then I got my doctor to up the prescription to 3 patches and add progesterone. That seemed to stabilize me, and I am now at a pretty consistent 149 E level. Keep in mind though that everyone is different, so I would suggest you have an open discussion with your doctor about what's going on and why.

Hugs,

Marcie

Marcie

That is exactly what I plan on doing this coming Monday when I have my appointment 

[Willow]

@Marcie Jensen @Billie75B my E levels tanked three months ago.  I just did blood work yesterday for new numbers. If they are still in the tank, we will change things but it’s been a fight with my endo and he’s the only one I can go to.  This state likes to make it very difficult for doctors to help transgenders.

[Mandy Jo]

This morning was stressful this morning,A couple kids in my first morning class disrupted class while I was teaching.Started with pulling on a female student's hair and then cussed me out.Both even threw a paper ball at me too.Did send them to the principal and both were suspended,Their moms were not too happy with them.Said they are going to be punished good and grounded

[Becoming Diana]

On 10/5/2022 at 8:38 AM, Bri2020 said:

When I was first transitioning I had to have a hemorrhoid dealt with. Mind you I had been on HRT for like 4 months at that point and had very little development and obviously still had incongruent bottom parts. My medical chart had already been updated to female.  I felt so vulnerable and exposed when they came in addressing me as female and I had to lay on a table naked to have my lower parts closely examined.  One of the worst feelings I experienced while transitioning. (plus, get that thing drained sucked). After my boob job I gained so much comfort and confidence though. I still tried to minimize the genital appearances but even during physical exams and such I no longer felt that vulnerability because I just became more comfortable with the fact that I was transitioning. I also sneaked a peak at my chart one day and noticed that there was a declaration that I was trans female which the healthcare providers could see but the records I saw and non-healthcare providers like lab techs and such would only see female. Knowing that, I didn't have to worry about surprising doctors or nurses.  

The only other time I felt really uncomfortable and vulnerable was when I had to go to a pelvic floor PT to be assessed prior to bottom surgery and she had to stick her finger up inside me and asking me to engage certain pelvic muscles.  I will be having to go back to her soon to help me develop better control of those post op . 

 

@Bri2020Thank you for sharing this with me.  I love what they have on your chart.  Hopefully they'll do the same with me.

[Davie]

Good morning. I' ve got two roofers at either end of my bedroom right now pounding away over my head where I lie in back pain—while I try to make lemonade out of it. Oh, well. Good to get it over with. I know they work fast so it won't be too long. Loud videos help. Good pain meds, too. I'll be all right—the ceiling hasn't caved in yet. See? Lemonade.

Hope your day is full of lemonade, too!

— Davie

[Mandy Jo]

Glad to have students know about me more.They have been great about me being a fulltime crossdresser.Also have one student like me,she grew up as a boy that liked wearing girl's clothes starting at age 12 and went fulltime at age 14 with both parents being supportive

[Ivy]

Sorry to hear of your situation Davie.  Back trouble is no joke.  I speak from painful experience.

 

Mandy Jo-  I'm surprised that you haven't had trouble being so open in an education environment.  Not that it a bad thing though.  But I doubt that you could get away with it around here.

[Mandy Jo]

29 minutes ago, Ivy said:

Sorry to hear of your situation Davie.  Back trouble is no joke.  I speak from painful experience.

 

Mandy Jo-  I'm surprised that you haven't had trouble being so open in an education environment.  Not that it a bad thing though.  But I doubt that you could get away with it around here.

I started there in August,co workers have been great about it and see me like any normal person

[Willow]

TGIF, first Friday of the month 

 

Why? Because it’s group day!

 

@Davie is your lemonade naturally sweet, sugar or artificially sweetened?  You seem like yours is always naturally sweet.  (That was a complement in case it didn’t come through 😀)

 

We are getting more used to living in a condo.  Noises coming from above or beside us are becoming less noticeable.  They still happen but now it’s not an immediate negative reaction.

 

Still waiting on test results from both my doctors appointment and my endocrinologist labs.  I got the floor of my dinghy repaired again.  I hope it’s good this time.  Next I need to do some cleaning and reattach some parts on the main portion of it.  Once it is clean and otherwise water ready again, I’m going to repaint it with flexible sealing paint made for inflatable dinghies.  No not a certain advertised on tv product.  This is specifically made for PVC dinghies and recoats the outer layer adding life and UV protection.

 

at least that will give me something to do for a while.  And give me a usable “boat”. 
 

I will have to get a few things for the dinghy but nothing urgent.

Well, Wishing everyone a Good Friday.

 

hugs

 

Willow

 

 

[Willow]

I have a friend (a sister to all of us) who had to take her some to the hospital today for a blood transfusion.  I do not know why at this time but if you are someone who prays, please keep TJ and his parents Tosh and Chrissy in your prayers.

 

I plan on leading a prayer at our group this evening.  Chrissy is part of that group.

 

Williw

[Bri2020]

The daily slog of recovery continues. I haven't had anyone come by the place in almost 2 days except a neighbor who drop off some indian food and only stayed for 10 minutes. It was clear to her I was toast.  Most of my support people aren't around during biz/school hours and by the time the late afternoon comes around I just don't have the energy to be social.  I have had a weird 24 hours.

Last night I was so swollen I seriously didn't want to dilate. Well, better to say I considered not dilating very seriously because of how sore it was already down there and my pain threshold had just about reached its limits.  My daily cycle of dilation leads to more swelling and pain which takes a while to recover from and then I have to repeat but it gets worse with each one as the day goes on.  I delayed the last one last night for 2 hours just to get the emotional strength to get through it.  The only saving grace to the last one is at the end, I just wipe up a little, throw an ice pack on a pass out for the night. 

This morning I woke up after a nightmare, more on that in a minute, and realized the coochy almost felt OK. Mind you, still swollen and full of sutures but the pain was just a trickle in the mind.  I didn't want to move. I knew as soon as I got up, made coffee, went to the toilet, brushed the teeth and got back for coffee in bed things would be inflamed and miserable and I would have to do my dilation.  I literally laid there for an hour refusing to start the process. Wasn't until 9am that I got my first cup of coffee.  

Nightmare:  So I don't remember the details but the gist of it was I was feeling somewhat "aroused" but it felt like and saw myself with an erection and my nightmare involved being confused and thinking my surgery was just a dream and I still had all of my man parts. I awoke crying and quickly turned on the lights and looked under the sheets because it still felt like I was aroused and everything was still there. Of course I was relieved to see that I did indeed have a vaginoplasty.  I think what is happening is a form of ghost pain. The nerves are relatively still intact but put into a different physical form but my brain can't tell the difference so things still feel like they did pre-op.  I'm sure my brain will reconfigure at some point but it is causing almost more dysphoria/emotional distress than when I had the old parts.  

This is going to be a longer and harder recovery than I think I anticipated.  

[Willow]

Update, TJ is ok.  Further tests by a pediatric hematologist showed it was an iron deficiency.  Thanks for prayers.

 

Willow 

[Davie]

Thanks @Willow@Mandy Jo @Ivyfor the good cheer.

Tough day in some ways but doing OK and scoring victories. Got Internet back on after roofers cut the cable through, so I'm here! Good to have when sick in bed. Pain not bad now, getting rest.

Great to be here. Hugs all!

— Davie

[KathyLauren]

3 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

The nerves are relatively still intact but put into a different physical form but my brain can't tell the difference so things still feel like they did pre-op.

 

Yes, that is normal.  It took me a year for my brain to remap the various nerve endings to where they ended up.  Even now, certain sensations are confusing because up can feel like up is down.

[Aggie1]

6 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

The daily slog of recovery continues. I haven't had anyone come by the place in almost 2 days except a neighbor who drop off some indian food and only stayed for 10 minutes. It was clear to her I was toast.  Most of my support people aren't around during biz/school hours and by the time the late afternoon comes around I just don't have the energy to be social.  I have had a weird 24 hours.

Last night I was so swollen I seriously didn't want to dilate. Well, better to say I considered not dilating very seriously because of how sore it was already down there and my pain threshold had just about reached its limits.  My daily cycle of dilation leads to more swelling and pain which takes a while to recover from and then I have to repeat but it gets worse with each one as the day goes on.  I delayed the last one last night for 2 hours just to get the emotional strength to get through it.  The only saving grace to the last one is at the end, I just wipe up a little, throw an ice pack on a pass out for the night. 

This morning I woke up after a nightmare, more on that in a minute, and realized the coochy almost felt OK. Mind you, still swollen and full of sutures but the pain was just a trickle in the mind.  I didn't want to move. I knew as soon as I got up, made coffee, went to the toilet, brushed the teeth and got back for coffee in bed things would be inflamed and miserable and I would have to do my dilation.  I literally laid there for an hour refusing to start the process. Wasn't until 9am that I got my first cup of coffee.  

Nightmare:  So I don't remember the details but the gist of it was I was feeling somewhat "aroused" but it felt like and saw myself with an erection and my nightmare involved being confused and thinking my surgery was just a dream and I still had all of my man parts. I awoke crying and quickly turned on the lights and looked under the sheets because it still felt like I was aroused and everything was still there. Of course I was relieved to see that I did indeed have a vaginoplasty.  I think what is happening is a form of ghost pain. The nerves are relatively still intact but put into a different physical form but my brain can't tell the difference so things still feel like they did pre-op.  I'm sure my brain will reconfigure at some point but it is causing almost more dysphoria/emotional distress than when I had the old parts.  

This is going to be a longer and harder recovery than I think I anticipated.  

Oh honey that sounds awful 😞 I’m on the fence about vulvo v vag. I talked to a social worker from Kaiser about it yesterday and said I thought it would be cool to go all the way but at my age not sure if I wanted all the maintenance that comes with it. She put me in for a vag in the letter. Consult won’t be a while so I have time to think about it. I’m pulling for you to come through this experience with flying colors! 
 

one of the questions the SW drilled on was a support system which I currently have. I can’t imagine the distress you must be feeling at this critical time. A tip she mentioned to me to get through it was to remember to breathe into the stomach. Not sure if that related in your case. 
 

you’ve got this! You can do it!

[Mandy Jo]

Found a great hair salon that actually treated me well and did a good job.The stylist that did mine said they get mtf crossdressers and transgender women in and listen which I saw right away

[KathyLauren]

1 hour ago, Aggie1 said:

I’m on the fence about vulvo v vag. I talked to a social worker from Kaiser about it yesterday and said I thought it would be cool to go all the way but at my age not sure if I wanted all the maintenance that comes with it.

 

I scheduled a couple of sessions with my therapist to talk about exactly that.  After talking about it for a while, she summarized by saying that the only reason for me to get the full vaginoplasty was (1) if my current marriage ended, and (2) if I met and dated another woman, and (3) if she wanted me to have a vagina to play in.  I agreed that that was an accurate summation, and that it was a very long shot.  It wasn't worth the more extensive surgery and the upkeep, just for that very specific long shot. 

 

So I got the vulvoplasty, and I am happy I did.  If that long-shot circumstances ever occurs, I'll have some 'splaining to do.  But then it wouldn't be the first thing I'd have to explain, so no big deal.

 

I'm not suggesting what you should do, just how I resolved the decision, in case it helps you.