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KymmieL

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Good afternoon

 

couldnt sleep last night so when I did I slept in. 
 

@Mmindy you’ve been a very prolific writer this morning.

 

@Hannah Renee I’m in the group that figures certain changes are unnecessary.  I won’t bother with legal name change or gender change on my documents.  When offered I will chose sex or gender X.  I do meet the legal requirements I just don’t see the point.  I believe I am in as good if not better physically and mentally than the average person of mid 70s but then I expect to live another 20 years.  I can only hope that things get better for us with the passing of each year.  Especially for the kids.  They don’t deserve all of the untrue statements that are being made about them, their health care and what anyone is trying to do to them.

 

Raining today and cool along the coast.  I guess fall is waning and winter is coming.

 

it’s official there aren’t any storm systems in the Atlantic with a chance of becoming a hurricane.  The seaso is over early this year.

 

Willow

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@Willow, I had time on my hands, waiting for an IT person to fix the communication between my computer and the printer. Yesterday morning I was able to scan and e-mail documents. Microsoft 365 did an update, and now I can only print documents. The scan and fax features are gone. This is a software issue beyond my skill level. 
 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Great to be up early AND be well-rested. Back is healing (and so is my heart?) I read a good article online or find a fine poem or a song? They make me cry these days--in a good way. Maybe that's part of becoming more feminine, if that's not sexist. Anyway, it feels alive. Alive! Love you folks. 

— Davie    

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26 minutes ago, Davie said:

Anyway, it feels alive. Alive! Love you folks. 

Good morning Davie, I'm glad you're back pain is easing. I too believe and understand feeling more alive, and feeling love for the people here on TransPulseForums. Since I started allowing myself to view the World, and the things I read as my true self. I do experience emotions, and crying more than I use to.

 

Hugs and Love,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Good Wednesday morning everyone 

 

not much going on today.  I think I’ll try a different recipe for yeast rolls.  The last one was a little flat, certainly not one I’d care to put on the table with guests.  That’s the thing about baking, if one recipe doesn’t suit, there are lots more to try.  
 

@Mmindy software updates are always a challenge. You never know for sure when one will work seamlessly and when your configuration is the one they didn’t check and will break.

 

The welding/fabrication company told my granddaughter yesterday that they will hire her but are waiting on final approval from an engineer and that could take several weeks.  I know that’s a thing about trades, when there is work, it’s great and good pay but when things are slow you can be out of work for a while, especially if you are Union.

 

she is taking a class on blueprint reading right now and will be taking another welding class next term at tech college.  After about 18 months she can take her certification license exam and move on from her apprenticeship.  
 

Just had my monthly health assessment.  They call from my healthcare group to survey us every month.

 

hugs

 

Willow

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Hi, all. Going back to the grind tomorrow. Will be good to be out and about some. However I am still working on getting that lung coughed up. My sides are so sore from all the hacking.

 

Haven't wanted to do anything lately. With the way I have been feeling, plus the cold arse weather.

 

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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2 minutes ago, KymmieL said:

My sides are so sore from all the hacking.

Oh my Kymmiel,

 

I hope you start feeling better soon, my business partner, and I both picked up some kind of a chest cold during our last travel training together. I definitely don't recommend coughing as a way to build up your diaphragm, abs, or rib muscles.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Hello every one   well I am recovering good from my blood clots in my lungs, went in to work on wednesday took thur. off only 2 days next week. they took me off my E but when i can get things straightened out go back on a different dose o well, one thing about this journey its a never a dull moment,  I no being in the hos. for 5 days has really opened my eyes life is more clear. every one take care be well watch that cough mine turned out to be 3 blood clots.It has been a year and half  and I finely feel like I can conquer the world and it feels really good  have a awesome day be safe it is nice to be here.

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2 minutes ago, rachel w said:

 every one take care be well watch that cough mine turned out to be 3 blood clots.

It's good to hear that you're on the mend.

 

I had the same lung issue twice, but there was never any cough. For me, the only symptom was suddenly not being able to walk more than a couple of steps without sitting down. It took forever just to get to the car and drive myself to an ER. I'm on a blood thinner for life now.

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TG for this new day

 

Did you think I was going to say TGIF?

 

Well, yesterday was a wasted day.  Well sorta.  Drove 70+ miles to Charleston for a doctors appointment.  Sat around and finally a nurse came out to talk to me.  Scheduling messed up and never scheduled the swallow test.  She was expecting me to make a scene and be really upset.  Why do that?  It is t her fault.  Yes it was annoying but what is the point of getting angry?  So we left the office with a real appointment this time.

 

But the day wasn’t really a bust.  We went shopping!  We each Bought two sets of winter jammies.  Wife bought some sweaters and I got a red sweater and black slacks for a dinner we are going to tomorrow.

 

Speaking of sweaters, it was 31 degrees when we got up.  It was a perfect night for the new winter pjs.  Definitely January like temperatures in mid November.  @KymmieL please keep this weather back there.  At least we didn’t get 4’ of snow.  If we ever got 4’ of snow here nothing would move until it melted.  At least I could get out my front door, it’s well protected.  Back door? Forget it!

 

say, for everyone hacking up a lung, have you had a pneumatic vaccine?  If not I suggest you do.  I realize not everyone is a vaxer.  But they’ve done well for me.  Oh and the worst “cold” I ever had was actually a bought with bronchitis.  Another reason we moved south.  So take care of your selves and don’t be afraid to get treated.

 

Willow

 

 

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3 minutes ago, Willow said:

Did you think I was going to say TGIF?

Good morning Willow,

 

Now that I'm actually semi retired, I only keep track of what day of the week it is so I can converse with vendors. No matter the day, I wake and pray. I'm also like you in that I don't get mad at the messenger, if they're not the cause of a mix up. I don't short the wait staff, if the kitchen messed up my order or is taking a long time to prepare my meal. It took me along time to realize that my getting angry didn't help me with a problem.

 

I have had pneumonia, and without a doubt it the sickest I've ever been. I do get my vaccines.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋   

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Work yesterday was brutal. tiring and caused my right foot to hurt. Plus the cold and white crap didn't help. Zero out now.

 

I think the worse was when I got home. Wife didn't say one word to me. How was your day? anything? I think she finally said 5 words to me before I went to bed. I don't know what is going on.

 

Try and have a good Friday.

Hugs

 

Kymmie

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2 hours ago, Willow said:

TG for this new day

 

Did you think I was going to say TGIF?

 

Well, yesterday was a wasted day.  Well sorta.  Drove 70+ miles to Charleston for a doctors appointment.  Sat around and finally a nurse came out to talk to me.  Scheduling messed up and never scheduled the swallow test.  She was expecting me to make a scene and be really upset.  Why do that?  It is t her fault.  Yes it was annoying but what is the point of getting angry?  So we left the office with a real appointment this time.

 

But the day wasn’t really a bust.  We went shopping!  We each Bought two sets of winter jammies.  Wife bought some sweaters and I got a red sweater and black slacks for a dinner we are going to tomorrow.

 

Speaking of sweaters, it was 31 degrees when we got up.  It was a perfect night for the new winter pjs.  Definitely January like temperatures in mid November.  @KymmieL please keep this weather back there.  At least we didn’t get 4’ of snow.  If we ever got 4’ of snow here nothing would move until it melted.  At least I could get out my front door, it’s well protected.  Back door? Forget it!

 

say, for everyone hacking up a lung, have you had a pneumatic vaccine?  If not I suggest you do.  I realize not everyone is a vaxer.  But they’ve done well for me.  Oh and the worst “cold” I ever had was actually a bought with bronchitis.  Another reason we moved south.  So take care of your selves and don’t be afraid to get treated.

 

Willow

 

 

Totally agree with the pneumonia vaccine, @Willow. I got an awful case once, but not since vccination. I feel safer now. AND my back's taken a turn for the better--no pain at all when I lie down. Now I'm addicted to laziness--I don't want to move at all. Oh well, maybe I just need rest. I can do that. Patience heals a lot of things.

— Davie

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Hope you liked that .  Yes my coffee is good but we’ll on it’s way to activating.  We had a very interactive teen meeting last night.  The moderator was late getting the reminder out so it was pretty a small group.  One raised the topic off blockers or maybe getting to start T since blockers are expensive.  He is seeing a different counselor so that he can get a letter for the prescribing doctor.

 

another is only 11 and can’t do either yet.  In his case he is upset because of breast growth and confusion with other kids over his gender.  There is also a 12 y o girl who was able to start young.  There is no mistaking her gender.  
 

well, I need to get baking.

 

willow

 

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Good morning all. 

@Willow, I loved the snoopy picture! I needed to see something happy after the excitement here this morning. RIght now, I'm on my second pot of coffee as I've been ups since shortly after two AM. 

 

I was awakened by the police helicopter hovering over the apartment complex, and the shouted commands through a bull horn. THat went on for about half an hour and triggered my PTSD. Then, about four o'clock, some knucklehead fired off about 15 rounds from what sounded like a 9mm pistol. This was followed by sirens, shouted commands and (I hope) an arrest. More PTSD triggers... I could tell what type of pistol was used by the sound of the reports; sharp, flat cracks in rapid succession that were not deep enough for a .45 nor loud enough for something like a .357.  I'm not sure it's a good thing that I can still tell the difference since I left the military in 2003. Still, it was enough to make me start searching for a new place to live this morning.

 

Where I live is a so-called bedroom community, so this was unexpected. In al, this was a heck of a way to begin the weekend.

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Come to find out that my wife may have been upset about a piece of mail from the VA. Were my first and middle name was whited out and someone wrote Kymmie in its place. How petty can she get. She knows that I am Kymmie at the VA.

 

slowly feeling better.

 

Hugs

Kymmie

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1 hour ago, Marcie Jensen said:

this was a heck of a way to begin the weekend.

Guess it started off with a bang.

I'm kinda out in the country here, and we hear frequent gunfire.  But it doesn't trigger me per se. Sometimes I wonder though.  Sometimes it sounds like they're shooting full auto.  I don't see how they can afford the ammo, or why they would even need that.

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@Marcie Jensen@Ivy  I think there's a big difference between gunfire in an urban area vs rural.  Urban...definitely scary.  Rural gunfire is normal, at least where I live.  Especially on Saturdays, there's a lot of practicing going on.  GF was out making some noise of her own this morning.  Even at night, you'll hear it when somebody dispatches a possum or armadillo in the yard.  There's full auto, big cannons, pretty much anything you can think of.  I can't really tell the difference between the smaller kinds like y'all can, but the biggest ones stand out.

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Thank you for your words, @awkward-yet-sweetand @Ivy. Yes, there is a difference between urban and rural gunfire. I was raised in a rural locale and know the difference between hunting, target practice, etc. Where I live is pretty much suburban and I admit I prefer rural areas. That said, gunshots at 4 in the morning are not typical for my area.

 

As to the differences, well, courtesy of a number of combat zones through the years, I've been shot at with small arms, machine guns and grenaded. I've also been mortared, shelled and had RPGs fired at me. Being mortared is the worst. Luckily, I always remembered to duck. What triggered me at first was the chopper. It has to do stuff from years ago that I don't like to think about. The pistol fire was just icing on the cake, so to speak. I never know what will trigger my PTSD; it just happens. My therapist and I are working on it.

 

I remember after the first Gulf War, I'd come home on leave and was talking to my late father. He was a veteran of both WW2 and Korea. He'd been in some pretty heavy stuff, especially in Korea. He told me then, and this was the only time he ever discussed combat with me, that you never get rid of the ghosts--you can only make friends with them. I guess I haven't made friends with them yet.

 

Frankly, I didn't expect to be awakened the way I was. That may have been the triggering moment. It's also the reason I feel the need to relocate to a rural setting. Generally speaking, folks there save their shooting for more civilized hours. 

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@Marcie Jensen I get that the military experience adds a whole new level to it.  My husband and GF grew up together in a very unpleasant urban location.  He was also in the National Guard, although he never talks about it.  GF told me that before I joined the family, there was an incident in a Walmart parking lot.  Somebody set off really loud firecrackers, and it wasn't the 4th of July.  Like the fireworks stands had just opened in June, and people weren't used to the noise yet.  When they went off, my husband dragged GF down to the asphalt, using a vehicle for cover until he figured out what was going on.  Not sure if that's a PTSD-related instinct, or he's just really alert.  Its a shame that people do foolish, alarming things in crowded areas 🙄

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Hi,

 

yes it’s late.  We went to bed early as my wife was already asleep in the chair, and I was tired too.  Unfortunately, I woke up and now I’m wide awake.

 

@Marcie Jensen and @awkward-yet-sweet while I was in the Air Force and stationed in Thailand during 1970 & 1971, I was never in combat.  I thank you Marcie for what you endured and I’m sorry it left you with PTSD.  I’ve been to Phoenix a few times. My bosses from the 90s and early 2k owned real estate in several places and I would go check on it and check on the management companies that were keeping them rented and in good repair.  Unfortunately, they had hired a company in Raleigh that took the position of rent them high, and do no maintenance.  I had to fire him and find a new manager, then get the properties repaired.  The Phoenix properties were north of Camelback.  
 

Around here, we’ll where I used to live near here, there were a lot of old rice paddies across the river.  I think wild boar hunters must be crazy.  They were allowed to hunt after sundown with spotlights.  Anyway, all of a sudden you’d think toy were in a war zone.  They’d see one (maybe more) and open up with everything they had.  If they were good enough to be hitting the poor animal, there could be much good meat left.  Sounded like fully auto m16s were shooting at them.  
 

Wiilow

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Changing the subject, we had a community thanksgiving potluck tonight.  I made yeast bread dinner rolls.  My wife had made a few different types of breads.

 

my rolls were pretty good.  Even our friend Franky who has been to baking school thought they were good.  He is getting ready to start a sourdough to make breads of some sort.

 

Here is how I was dressed, with black slacks and heels to complete the look.

 

44753CCD-A6FB-4A8C-A431-75A5C67C590C.thumb.jpeg.8ba530e0c70f831eb582ad67ccc296aa.jpeg

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@willow i love the necklace! It sounds like you had a wonderful time.

 

Well, my big weekend is behind me. I am almost recovered from my Vaginabration party.  It was physically demanding which I knew it would be. It's only been 7 weeks since my vaginaplasty. The coochy is still rather sensitive and swollen so I wondered how I would get through the party. Plus, I'm just plain out of shape from post op rest requirements.  My trick was to use numbing cream on the girl parts (externally) and plenty of advil.  It worked pretty well for the first 4 hours. I was able to dance and socialize for most of the night but when it wore off around 10pm I was so swollen and miserable I needed help just to get things into the car and get home. When I went to dilate I was shocked at how badly the lady parts had swollen. I spent Sunday basically horizontal and resting to recover. It was totally worth it though.  

Being a business woman, I have a very large social circle. I invited around 80 people to the party. I only wanted women there that had an impact on me during my transition. It may have been just a one time statement or action that had an outsized effect or someone who was there every step of the way. 50 or so showed up. 95% were cisgendered straight women. I've mentioned this before on this forum but I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to go out and find and surround yourself with non queer girlfriends. (or male friends if you are transmasculine)  I know a fair number of queer women, and a number were invited but honestly, it's the straight cis women who have been the most supportive. 

What was also fun about this event was that my circle of friends is actually a number of different circles that intersect with my life so almost everyone at the party were unfamiliar with at least a third of the other guests.  Some didn't know anyone else.  But here was the cool thing.  A lot of them came up to me and thanked me for creating a space for them to meet new people and everyone commented on how there were so many amazing people that they got to meet and make new connections/friendships with.  

 

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On 11/20/2022 at 12:05 AM, Willow said:

Here is how I was dressed, with black slacks and heels to complete the look

Good morning everyone,:coffee:

 

@Willow, I love the happy vibes this picture gives off. I also agree with @Bri2020that necklace is amazing.

2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

But here was the cool thing.  A lot of them came up to me and thanked me for creating a space for them to meet new people and everyone commented on how there were so many amazing people that they got to meet and make new connections/friendships with.  

@Bri2020That is cool, and I'm glad you're taking time to recuperate.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
    • Sally Stone
      That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.   However, you look terrific in that selfie! 
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