Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Astrid]

2 hours ago, heatherd said:

I decided to take in a transgender teen and she is much happier.Came out in December and mom said out of her house.A good friend of mine introduced her to me.14 years old and I told her my story,there for her.My family even has accepted her in.

 

Thank you, Heather, for making a positive difference for a young woman in real need.  How a biological mother can reject their own child is unfathomable to me.  Was just reading a news feed this morning that young school children in Denmark have empathy as one of the things they study -- would that we had such subject matter.  It would, I'm sure, increase acceptance in society as these kids age and become parents themselves.

 

Astrid

[heatherd]

41 minutes ago, Katie23 said:

Heather, what you did is very special. I can only imagine the level of hate that child had to endure all at the age of 14.

Mom said live with it being a boy to her.It angered me that her mom did this to her.I plan on taking her shopping for clothes and shoes this weekend

[heatherd]

56 minutes ago, Astrid said:

 

Thank you, Heather, for making a positive difference for a young woman in real need.  How a biological mother can reject their own child is unfathomable to me.  Was just reading a news feed this morning that young school children in Denmark have empathy as one of the things they study -- would that we had such subject matter.  It would, I'm sure, increase acceptance in society as these kids age and become parents themselves.

 

Astrid

She knew as early at the age of 6,was different knowing she was a girl from the inside

[KymmieL]

Thank you, @heatherd For taking in this young lady. It is so sweet of you doing this, with her mom rejecting her.

 

I often wondered what my wife would do/say if one of our boys or grandsons came out as trans.

 

Kymmie

[awkward-yet-sweet]

3 hours ago, Davie said:

Thanks for the vibes. Spent many hours the last two days getting to clinics and labs and doctors, but I still don't know. I do know I'm lucky to have good and available medicine.   Still have to wait for results and another endoscope exam in two weeks, but I'm happy I showed up for all of it. That is a success in itself, with my history with doctors I fight a lot of anxiety to rise to the occasion. It is more likely it's not serious—the hematuria has stopped since I gave up NSAIDs—that may be it right there. But then I'll know I'm clear of cancer, too. It made a huge test of my back and walking and I passed with flying colors. Lots of good this week after all. Now back to work. 

NSAIDs cause all kinds of issues.  My husband took so much naproxen at one point that he got bleeding ulcers.  

 

I understand white coat anxiety.  I'm the same...to the point that I can't go to an appointment solo.  I have to be in constant physical contact with one of my partners to stay remotely calm.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

@heatherd. Good on you for taking in a teen.  I can't imagine a parent kicking out a 14-year-old.  That's nuts.  Probably better than her being forced into conversion therapy or prolonged abuse.  Any plans/ability to become a legal guardian?  

[Davie]

7 hours ago, heatherd said:

I decided to take in a transgender teen and she is much happier.Came out in December and mom said out of her house.A good friend of mine introduced her to me.14 years old and I told her my story,there for her.My family even has accepted her in.

God bless you, heatherd. What a wonderful story to read. Makes me cry for joy. I lived for 18 years with a father who wouldn't accept me—you've saved her a lot of suffering, I'm sure. You're taking her shopping for clothes . . . a simple sounding thing to do, but now I'm crying again. Beautiful.  Love to you both. — Davie

[Josnn]

6 hours ago, heatherd said:

She knew as early at the age of 6,was different knowing she was a girl from the inside

I can completely relate, as I have known since I was about that age as well. Having a parental figure who wasn't accepting as, in my opinion, largely ruined my life. I am always happy to see people taking care of others in a similar predicament, and also themselves for being brave enough to come out. 

 

I don't really know how to describe some of the disdain I feel when I listened to or read people saying it's a "phase", and maybe it is for some kids, or maybe I am not educated enough on the topic, but I know it wasn't a "phase" for me. 

[heatherd]

7 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

@heatherd. Good on you for taking in a teen.  I can't imagine a parent kicking out a 14-year-old.  That's nuts.  Probably better than her being forced into conversion therapy or prolonged abuse.  Any plans/ability to become a legal guardian?  

Yes,going to court and is looking good

[KathyLauren]

15 hours ago, heatherd said:

I decided to take in a transgender teen and she is much happier.Came out in December and mom said out of her house.A good friend of mine introduced her to me.14 years old and I told her my story,there for her.My family even has accepted her in.

 

Heather, that is such a beautiful thing to do.  Thank you for being there for her.

 

And thank you on my own behalf, too.  After some of the headlines I have seen in the last few days, I needed a shot of radical niceness. ❤️

[Colleen Henderson]

4 hours ago, Josnn said:

I don't really know how to describe some of the disdain I feel when I listened to or read people saying it's a "phase", and maybe it is for some kids, or maybe I am not educated enough on the topic, but I know it wasn't a "phase" for me. 

I knew at age six and still do, so my "phase" has lasted 76 years.

[Willow]

@KymmieL you failed in your plan to send snow my way, a few flurries expected shortly.  Yes it’s below average temperatures but hang on, 60s and 70s later this week.  However, North Carolina western mountain peaks are getting two feet.

 

@heatherd unfortunately there are too many parents out there that refuse to accept that there child is special.  I’ll never know, but I’m certain my father would not have accepted me and for sure I would have been bullied.  I knew I was different from other boys but I continued to try.  I know help with a group of transgender teenagers and their parents or guardians.  Our youngest is 11 and oldest is 19.  We didn’t have a December meeting but will next Friday.  These kids are all over the spectrum.  Parents meet at the same time, different room.  I spoke to the parents a few months back about my journey. I think it helped some to understand hearing about it from an adult.  Some of our teens have had to move in with friends or relatives but your are the first I’ve known to take someone in and request legal guardianship.  Good for you.  I hate it when I hear about kids being kicked out, but especially at such a tender age.

 

We are going to the mall today.  Wife needs some workout clothes and I need a stand for my keyboard.  I know you get what you pay for and I didn’t spend a lot of money on mine but Ii am disappointed that there are notes that are not clear tones but a combination of frequencies from the emulator.  Yes the result is the correct note but in my headphones I can hear it.

 

@Davie I had a lot of tests done recently.  Things that I had put off during the pandemic but knew I needed to do.  I hate colonoscopies with a passion but I finally did it.  Good thing, they found tw polyps that were precancerous.  Now my follow-ups will be every three years instead of five.  When I follow-up with my gastroenterologist I need to ask about my stomach. My heartburn has been pretty bad lately.  February is going to be a busy month medically.  
 

How about these egg prices?  Between breakfast and baking we go through a lot of eggs every month.  We’ve been buying them at Costco lately.  Even their price has shot up plus the limit how many you can get in consumer packages.  I bought a 5 dozen box of eggs and figure I’ll still need more. If you buy smaller packs you are limited to two, so a max of 36 eggs.  Milk is limited to two gallons as well.

 

hope y’all have a good weekend and stay warm.

 

🥶nice try @KymmieL

 

Willow

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

After some of the headlines I have seen in the last few days, I needed a shot of radical niceness

Likewise.

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

breakfast is on the counter, coffee is nearly finished.

 

I hope everyone is surviving the weather.  @KymmieL we got your cold weather though I never saw any snowflakes.  Now the warmup begins.  At least the wind was quieted so it won’t feel as cold.

 

I hope you have a pleasant Sunday.  And that your favorite teams win.  We don’t have any real favorites but we were routing for the Jags because of Trevor Lawrence.  
 

Willow

 

 

[Mmindy]

12 minutes ago, Willow said:

routing for the Jags because of Trevor Lawrence.  

Good morning everyone,

 

I'm halfway through my pot of coffee, Suzie has breakfast on the stove. Today is our last day in cold weather for a week. We're flying to Daytona Beach, FL tomorrow morning, and will be there through Saturday. I'm teaching at a Hazmat Symposium for 4 hours on Thursday. The conference runs Wednesday to Saturday. We're using the extra days for a Winter Break.

 

Since the Colts sucked this year, and I was born in Missouri. Kansas City Chiefs have always been my second favorite team. I worked in the Buffalo, NY area a lot in the 1990s, and really fell in love with Jim Kelly and his story, so the Buffalo Bills are another are on my good side. Then add in the Damar Hamlin story... Then you bring in Trevor Lawrence and his total football career. I really won't be disappointed by football this year.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

 

P.S. Did I break the Trans Flag emoji?

[Colleen Henderson]

19 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

Today is our last day in cold weather for a week. We're flying to Daytona Beach, FL tomorrow morning, and will be there through Saturday.

 

Good timing. We're coming out of a cold spell, but it's going to be 70s and 80s every day this coming week.

[Mmindy]

@WillowI use to have a shop where I did all the fabrication. Now I have vendors do the primary work. I paint and add all the tank truck components as well as the logos. I love building/making things. 
 

Here’s that breakfast I mentioned. Two poached eggs, bacon, and English muffins. Oh, and berries.
 

Hugs

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Willow]

@Mmindy I would have to pass on the English Muffin but otherwise your breakfast looks good.  It been many years since I had a poached egg.  Why pass on the English muffin?  I have to be very careful about breads.  I have a very hard time swallowing breads.

 

I haven’t been to Daytona Beach since 2007.  From ‘97 to 2000, Our son went to Embry Riddle Aeronautical University and we made several trips per year.  2007 my son in law and I rode our Harleys to Biketoberfest. 1200 miles each way.  He had it rough, he was riding my daughter’s Sportster 880.  I was on my tripped out Ultra Classic.  I was planning on retiring there or near there but when the time came that area was pretty depressed..

 

I grew up a Browns fan, became a ‘Skins’ fan.  At least until Schneider bought the team.  When we moved here, the main team was the Panthers.  But I just couldn’t watch the antics of Can Newton. Now that he’s gone for good I can watch.  
 

Enjoy the games.

 

Willow

 

[Colleen Henderson]

21 minutes ago, Willow said:

 I was planning on retiring there or near there but when the time came that area was pretty depressed..

 

It still is, relative to the surrounding areas. Ormond Beach to the north of it is very nice if you have the money. We rented there for a year and then moved to another of the landlord's houses on the beach side of Daytona. Turns out there was a drug den two doors away, and when I walked my dog I could see deals transpiring on the side streets. The annual special events that are the lifeblood of the city's income snarl traffic terribly. When I worked in adjacent Holly Hill, we would see undercover police gearing up for prostitution stings.

 

Further inland, Deland has a lot of character but has become very high-crime in the last couple of years. We live across I-4 in Deltona, a Mackle planned community that drew a lot of people to the area back in the 60s and has grown to a population of nearly 100K. Our ocean getaway of choice is New Smyrna Beach, about 25 miles away. 

[Willow]

@Colleen Henderson I had considered renting a unit in one of the Oceans high rises for 6 months to a year to find a place.  My wife liked Ormond Beach.  Neither of us were truly interested in Daytona or Daytona Beach.  I liked Port Orange,  but anywhere from St Augustine south to Stuart was within our zone.  Glad now I didn’t buy in Oceans.

 

Our son’s first roommate owns a house in Ormond and another in Atlanta which is where he lives now.  They are both Captains with Delta.

 

Willow

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

I took two classes at the Y yesterday, an aqua fitness class and a senior stretch and tone.  I left the aqua class a bit early as I’d had as much as I could do.  I hadn’t done one of those since before Covid.  I’m going to have to work up to it without hurting myself.  The instructor for the water class was the same one for the second class.  When she walked in she saw me and commented,”I wondered if you would be here” referring to my knowing when to quit.  I would have gone to her chair yoga class today but my wife had an appointment, and right now we only have one car available.

 

I’m not too sure we will make it through another year together.  I’m getting more and more annoyed with her and I know she doesn’t respect my needs.  She does help with makeup and skin care so sometimes it is hard to tell.  If we don’t make it, I suspected I’ll be the one to leave.  And I will move somewhere more friendly towards us.  I know that means colder and snowy but I can deal with that.

 

Willow

[Marcie Jensen]

2 hours ago, Willow said:

I’m not too sure we will make it through another year together.  I’m getting more and more annoyed with her and I know she doesn’t respect my needs.  She does help with makeup and skin care so sometimes it is hard to tell.  If we don’t make it, I suspected I’ll be the one to leave.  And I will move somewhere more friendly towards us.  I know that means colder and snowy but I can deal with that.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this, Willow. Marriage is hard work, and it takes full commitment from all parties--including the children. Remember that the folks here will be supportive regardless of the outcome.

Hugs.

[Ivy]

3 hours ago, Willow said:

I suspected I’ll be the one to leave.

This is kinda what happened to me - although the situation was different.  My egg had not cracked yet, but there were already signs.

 

Our kids were grown, and we had been moving on diverging spiritual paths for awhile.  I was not living up to her standards, and there were too many accusations - separate rooms for a year.  There were still a few good times but they were infrequent.  Finally after another incident I realized it was over, and left.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done.  I'll admit I was suicidal.

 

But on the plus side, I was finally able to pick up my self exploration that had been paused by the relationship.  I used my new freedom to look into my past, and what I found was Ivy.  She had been there all the time waiting for me to free her.

 

Sure, I was heartbroken over losing the relationship - I still am to an extant.  But now I have the freedom of not trying to live up to someone else's expectations.

 

Also in the plus column, with the tension gone, we are still friends.  I sometimes joke that we still like each other, we just can't live together.  She has remarried.  I'm… well, I'm trying to rebuild my life as this woman I am.  

 

I sometimes wonder how things could have been different for me if…   But if Ivy had come out back then, '72, I doubt she would have survived.  And I do have a supportive family now.  And having lived as two different genders is I think, a rare privilege.

 

Sorry if this got a bit long, LOL

[Willow]

Thanks @Marcie Jensen and @Ivy and no it wasn’t too long of a post.  Somethings just take a lot of words.  I appreciate the support I need to pay off some bills and build up some savings.  I really hate the idea of getting a part-time job but I guess that’s in the cards.  Once we would split I’m sorry to say but I’m pretty sure I will have it a lot easier that she will.  My next home will either be another sailboat or a piece of bare ground and a travel trailer while I slowly build a building on the lot.  Likely a pole building that I eventually build into a home.  I can use my VA loan for that. 
 

on the other hand, if I get bills paid down, maybe things will get better between us.  It’s all up in the air right now but I can’t give up everything I need anymore.

 

 

[heatherd]

I was offered to tell my story to a group of transgender kids and teens and said yes.Going to be on Saturday.The bond between the transgender teen I took in and I very tight.We have a guardianship hearing next week and I know she will be staying with me.Knows I love her for who she is and deserves a much better loving parent in her life.Her therapist says she is doing a whole lot better now