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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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On 2/9/2023 at 12:24 PM, Hannah Renee said:

DO KNOW HARM - DO NO HARM.

Hannah, the heart longs for the love of others, even after they've passed, and we thought we had grieved enough. Hugs.

 

On 2/9/2023 at 3:02 PM, Jamie68 said:

Just checking in with an update. Surgery went awesome. (Zero depth vaginoplasty). Took 6 hours. They were amazed that I didn't need any pain meds during recovery. Healing quickly. Rush University is a great place.

Jamie68, thanks for checking in, and I'm so happy for you and your results. Hugs.

 

10 hours ago, Ivy said:

That is one thing about being retired.  It kinda takes some getting used to.  "3 Day Weekends" mean nothing to me anymore.

I have my phone set up to remind me when to change my titty tape.  I would forget otherwise

@Willow, and @Ivy, retirement is a good thing. I'm still in a semi-retirement situation. I no longer have a busy travel schedule, but I am building training equipment in my small shop. Like you I still need to set reminders on my phone so that I don't forget them. Hugs for you both.

 

19 hours ago, KymmieL said:

My GYN had me get one. Almost to show that even trans woman need one. clean and green.

Glean & Green as a PSA for all women including trans-women that you need to have a Mammogram.

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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@Jackie C. Hugs, and thank you for the update on @Bri2020. Like you I think @Elizabeth Star is just to busy with her life, and I'm happy for her.

 

Good morning everyone,

 

I was up early making physical visits to a couple of manufacturing vendors with Coffee on the run.:coffee:

I have a few follow up emails to make, then I'm on vacation heading out tomorrow showing the wife, what the historical south.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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1 minute ago, Mmindy said:

@Jackie C. Hugs, and thank you for the update on @Bri2020. Like you I think @Elizabeth Star is just to busy with her life, and I'm happy for her.

 

I feel that. My life has kind of taken off and I'm a BUSY little thing so I'm not on as long as I used to be, but I still try and make time to check in a couple of times a day.

 

Hugs!

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Hi again,

 

We have mentioned several tests recently that we “need”.   We are told that because we take female hormones we need to check for breast cancer and get mammograms.  I’m good with that.  Breast cancer doesn’t follow my family, however, some cancer does and sometimes you develop cancer as a reaction to medication as I did or as a result of the application of simple things like antiperspirant and even talcum powder.  
 

As for a PSA test, absolutely a big yes from me, but there is an end point.  If you get rid of the old walnuts, there is nothing making T.  Add to that a dose of E which is often used to slow or stop the prostate cancer and needing a PSA goes away.  
 

But here’s one no one told you about, a CA125.  This is just another marker that can be used to identify a cancer, very similar to a PSA in that regard.  And clearly your pcp or even your gynecologist if you have one will say, you don’t need that.  Why not?  Because they only use it for cis women with a family history of ovarian cancer.  But it also detects other abdominal cancers such as  paratinial cancer.  That is a cancer men or women can get. It’s the membrane that holds your intestines etal in place.  If you get that, you won’t know until it’s too late.  So consider getting that checked especially if you are on female hormones and are post surgery.  
 

So, just take care of yourself and have the best life you can

 

Willow

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Good afternoon everyone,

 

@WillowThank you for updating the types of cancer tests we should be looking for.

In my reply to @KymmieL I used PSA as a short for Public Safety Announcement, not even thinking about the PSA that folk should have completed. On my Twitter account I'm constantly looking up modern abbreviations. W = wining, FTK = for the kill, T4T = Trans for Trans support or relationship. These keep my google busy.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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@Mmindy I admit I am not up on modern lingo and don’t even think about it most of the time.  I knew Prostate Antigen didn’t exactly fit what you were saying but to me that was what a PSA test means so oops, my bad.  My sister knew that ovarian cancer ran in my mothers side show she always got one. The very unexpectedly one year her test number jumped up.  Must be a mistake, retook the test two weeks later, even higher 6 weeks later they went in through her belly button and discovered not only ovarian but paratenial cancer and that was the real problem.

 

it can’t be surgically treated, it can’t be treated by radiation, and chemotherapy has limited success.  Because they found it early she was able to fight it for several years, but in the end, the chemotherapy killed her.  Paratenial cancer is hundreds of rice sized tumors.

 

She suggested I should also get tested.  I got a baseline so I know what would be elevated, but then thought, if it can’t be cured, do I really want to know I have it.  I still don’t have a good answer.

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4 hours ago, Willow said:

if it can’t be cured, do I really want to know I have it.

Yeah.  We have some DNA stuff in my family for ALS.  I lost a  cousin, brother, and sister to it.  Has it been passed on?  I don't know.  I have 8 kids.  Should they get tested?  It's up to them.  I don't plan on getting tested, what's the point?

For myself, I was the oldest sibling.  I'm the only one still living.  Going by my father and grandfather, I fully expected to be dead 3 years ago.  But here I am.  I didn't have any plans to live this long.  I don't know what to do.  It's messing with my head, to be honest.

I wonder, will I be deadnamed when I'm gone?

Life is so weird sometimes.

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Good morning everyone,

 

The trip South to New Orleans, LA starts today. We just have to pack and toss the suitcases in the Explorer and go. This will be the last home brewed coffee, until we return in a week.

 

Indy to Birmingham, AL today.

Birmingham, Al to Laurel, MS on Sunday. Going to see the HGTV Hometown Shop and houses.

Laurel, MS to New Orleans, LA on Monday. Three days in and around historical sites.

New Orleans, LA to Vicksburg, MS Thursday to see Civil War sites.

Vicksburg, MS to Nashville, TN for the Grand Ole Opry Saturday Night.

Nashville, TN back home in Indy on Sunday.

Coffee reports in the AM daily.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

 

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@Mmindy, Sounds like a fun trip. Be safe in the road. 

 

If you haven't been before, I think you'll enjoy the Vicksburg Civil War sites. It's been a while since I was here, but if memory serves, there is a partial reconstruction of a Union ironclad on display that is amazing.

 

And the stop at Laurel sounds like fun.

 

Enjoy!

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Good morning 

 

saw this one and felt it was good for everyone here.

 

image.png.04396d21640f78d720d953bd40a9f6b1.png

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Well it rained all night.  Hard at times, but it’s not raining right now.  I woke up to being the filling I. A sandwich I was in the middle of the bed and our dog had decided to lay beside me on my pillow.  I had no idea she was there until I woke up.  Even 60 pound dogs can be gentle and like softness.

 

I had a great time at strength and stretch Friday.  I was enjoying the music and putting some extra into it.  Play a joke on the leader.  And got told by two women the wig I was wearing looked good on me.  We use 6” air filled balls for some of the workout. We were early to class so another woman and I got her equipment for her.  I went to get her a ball and thought it was stuck.  Turns out it was the one ball filled with shot.  Half way through the class we grabbed the balls and she was like oh, you got me the weighted ball.  But she used it.  After class we talked and she said I was putting some extra into it.

 

except we are going to miss a few days to doctors, I do intend to go to her aqua fitness starting next week.

 

Willow

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30 minutes ago, Hannah Renee said:

I've never had plans or desires to live beyond a certain point.

Of course I never expected to realize I was transgender either.  It's kinda like I really didn't expect to be where I am these days. 

On the other hand, it's kinda like starting a new life.  I'm trying to make a new life that I never planned on.  I mean, I like it and all.  It's just strange and so different.

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5 minutes ago, Ivy said:

It's kinda like I really didn't expect to be where I am these days. 

 

LOL!  None of us did.  There is an ancient Yiddish saying: "Man plans; God laughs."  That about sums up everyone's life, not just us trans folks.  The secret to a happy life is just to hang on and enjoy the ride.

 

I didn't plan almost anything of where I am now.  It has been an interesting life.  But planned?  😄😄😄

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I think a lot of life's enjoyment comes from living in the moment.  I have any plans for the future....none whatsoever.  My life has already turned out so different from what I might have expected. 

 

I spent this morning with my GF in the kitchen making cookies, and putting meat in a big vat to marinate.  Tomorrow evening is the Super Bowl, so gotta have snacks for the party.  None of us are really avid football fans, but it is a good excuse to get together with others from our community.  GF used to live in Kansas City, so sometimes she likes to watch a Chiefs game, especially the big ones like this.  We've got a projector and a huge screen at the social hall, so plenty of room.  I'll be spending most of my time with food and monitoring the kids as they run around. 

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2 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

I didn't plan almost anything of where I am now.  It has been an interesting life.  But planned? 

I'm certain had we known, the lead up would have been much different.  Probably much less stressful.

 

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3 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I think a lot of life's enjoyment comes from living in the moment.  I have any plans for the future....none whatsoever.  My life has already turned out so different from what I might have expected. 

 

I spent this morning with my GF in the kitchen making cookies, and putting meat in a big vat to marinate.  Tomorrow evening is the Super Bowl, so gotta have snacks for the party.  None of us are really avid football fans, but it is a good excuse to get together with others from our community.  GF used to live in Kansas City, so sometimes she likes to watch a Chiefs game, especially the big ones like this.  We've got a projector and a huge screen at the social hall, so plenty of room.  I'll be spending most of my time with food and monitoring the kids as they run around. 

I couldn't agree more about living in the moment.

 

Ax a Kansas City native who remembers when the Chiefs moved there, I'm all in for the Chiefs. I'm also going to Sedona later today since I live about a mile from the stadium and don't want to cope with the noise, crowds etc.  

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Hello, I'm Lelouch. I enjoy coffee every morning when I wake up. It's afternoon but I'm about ready to have my second cup. Hope everybody reading this is doing well. Even if you're not, hang in there, things will get better. ❤️

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2 hours ago, Marcie Jensen said:

I'm also going to Sedona later today since I live about a mile from the stadium and don't want to cope with the noise, crowds etc.  

I'm jealous 😉 Sedona is lovely during the cool time of year.  I'd love to go camping out there sometime.  My GF likes it there too, but going with her means staying at a resort hotel on the top floor.  Gotta have a soft nest with silky sheets and plenty of room service for my spoiled Russian.  

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@WillowI love the meme 

 

Good evening everyone, 

 

We’re off the road safe and sound in Birmingham, AL it was an uneventful drive. 
 

Goodnight,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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12 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I'm jealous 😉 Sedona is lovely during the cool time of year.  I'd love to go camping out there sometime.  My GF likes it there too, but going with her means staying at a resort hotel on the top floor.  Gotta have a soft nest with silky sheets and plenty of room service for my spoiled Russian.  

Sedona is a beautiful place. Especially this time of year. And, the camping is phenomenal. I don't have a hotel, though. One of the girls in my local support group owns property there and several of us are getting together for a Superbowl party away from Phoenix. We're even BBQing a whole hog. 

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Hi everyone, remember me? lol.  Sorry life pulled me away from you all for a bit. It's been crazy busy but that's not an excuse.

Some really deep conversations going on here. My thoughts on some it are: You have no idea what your life expectancy is going to be. All my grandparents died from different things, some very young, others late. My mom passed from cancer in her early 60s.  However, most of out grandparents and even siblings had different lifestyles and risk exposures.  We live differently now.  Disease detection is far more advanced, diets are generally healthier, etc etc.  For example, every one of my parents and grandparents smoked like chimneys and never did. I stopped eating fried foods and heavy steak and potatoes with lots of butter decades ago. I have no idea what my life expectancy will be, but I do know that now that I've started my new life in the right body, I am excited to make the most of it.  So with that in mind, my parting thought on this topic is, why not pursue your best life every day no matter how close or far away from your "life expectancy date" is?

 

Besides just working myself to the bone lately (in a fun way) I decided to get back to the gym and start the process of getting back to better health.  From Sept 2022 to Nov 2023 I had four significant surgeries and that took a big toll on my general fitness, weight, etc etc.  I missed going swimming and hitting the saunas. I stopped going to the gym at the beginning of Covid and then started transitioning so I didn't feel comfortable in a womens or mens locker room/sauna situation. Now that I've recovered from bottom surgery I felt it was time to get back.

I was a little nervous at first but within a few days felt right at home.  I haven't had any negative experiences except a potentially minor one. I was in the sauna (towelled appropriately) very early on a Sunday morning and an older Middle Eastern woman came in, looked at me for a moment then sat down down as far away as possible. She glanced at me again. Within a minute she decided to leave.  Was she just hoping to have the sauna to herself or was she uncomfortable. I will never know but that's the closest it has been to there being any issue. I've even clocked ( I think) two other trans women there. 

I picked up pickleball and am now addicted. So much fun!  I'm having to slow my roll on that a bit though because 4-6 days a week was killing my knees. Now I only play twice a week.

Transition related thoughts: It's been so nice to not be doing all the interventions for a couple of months.  I was fast tracking my transition over the last 2.5 years to the point of sheer exhaustion. That break is coming to an end though. My big scar alone my forehead from FFS is going to be dealt with. Kaiser finally got an FFS surgeon in house who also specializes in scar revisions. SHe suggested an aggressive microneedling for a couple session to see if the scar will remodel. If that fails I will have is surgically revised.  Ugh.  I'm also starting back on facial electrolysis out in Chicago in March.  Hopefully only need 2 more of their marathon sessions. about 80% of my facial hair is gone but the neck is still at about 50%.  On a positive side, after 2 plus years of little to no T, my back and chest hair has finally thinned out enough that I don't deal with the back and only deal with the chest every 2-3 weeks verses more than once a week.

My vaginoplasty is now 4 months post op. Most of it has healed nicely. Dilations are down to 2 times a day. There is a bit of a granuloma formed over the clitoral hood which I may have revised but waiting a bit on that. On a deep personal level, while my neoclitoris has sensation i have yet to manage anything close to an arousal state. My surgeon said that's not unusual. He's confident that things will work with a little more time.  I think there is a mental aspect to all of this since my libido has been really low and dilations are such a chore to me the idea of playing down there hasn't been something I get excited about so a lot of this may be a mental issue.

I am however finally feeling like it might be time to look into dating again. Not that I have time  haha. 

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Good morning, breakfast, then it’s on the road to Laurel, MS 
 

I remember @Bri2020 Thanks for the update. Hugs.

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Good morning

 

Plan is to go to a new to us church today.  A couple of neighbors and friends have invited us.  We are looking for a congregation that will be transgender friendly.

 

@awkward-yet-sweet when we went to Sedona we also thought it was a beautiful place.  Wished we’d had a Jeep to drive off into the desert, but alas we had an airport rental.

 

Taliesson West outside Phoenix was quite interesting too.

 

@bri2020 welcome back.  Good to see you again.  Certainly life has been keeping you busy.  Glad to see you are happy.

 

@Marcie Jensen your whole hog bbq sounds great.  Are you burying it Hawaiian style or doing it on a spit western style?  Both are great of course.

 

Well, I guess I need to start getting ready.  I messed up my nail polish yesterday so that’s going to take some extra time.

 

hugs

 

Willow

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1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

the idea of playing down there hasn't been something I get excited about

 

Hi, @Bri2020, good to see you.

 

I am 3 years post-op.  My clitoris has sensation and some mild arousal is possible, but I have heard that 90% of the "big O" is mental.  With no libido, I just haven't gotten there.  Like you, I just can't get excited about making the effort. 

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      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
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