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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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I have as well. Having problems accessing the site.

 

Well came out on Classmates. Since then I have had 6 people look at my profile. Most of them from the class or two behind mine. Nothing said though, yet. Speaking of classmates, I sent my RSVP for the reunion. Now I am making plans. Have made a hair appointment for about a week before. Want to get a gel mani-pedi. Toe nails will be blue/gold our school colors and the finger nails will be clear. but will do a possible blue/gold on them in normal polish. I am also shopping for a nice casual dress and sandals to possibly wear. Right now time will tell.

 

Well I have a free weekend as my wife and youngest are heading to Lincoln, NE to visit our oldest and family. Leave tomorrow, However I work Fri and Sat. but have a 3 day weekend. Of course, I cannot get over time so I am only working 32hrs. plus holiday pay is my 40.

 

Have a good evening everyone.

 

Kymmie

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3 hours ago, April Marie said:

Ugh. Sorry for the double post. I’ve had problems connecting to the forum the past few days. I assume it’s my ISP, as usual.

 

3 hours ago, EasyE said:

I've had problems connecting as well... it times me out and tells me there is a problem with the server hosting these forums... I, too, always assume it's something on my end...

 

E

'Fraid not, our server is under attack and our server gurus are working hard to rectify this issue.

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3 hours ago, Petra Jane said:

 

'Fraid not, our server is under attack and our server gurus are working hard to rectify this issue.

Ugh. I had hoped that it was just on my end. Seems we are "under attack" at all levels. Stand tall, all of us.

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Good morning, everyone!! First cup of coffee is in my system and bringing me back to life. Looks to be another beautiful weather day here so we plan to work out in the yard completing the Spring refresh. The weekend weather looks warm enough that we'll be in the pool and getting some sun.

 

My wife and I decided to have our Happy Hour tonight in dresses instead of casual clothes - now I just have to figure out which to wear. Oh, and which earrings, too, now that I finally have that new dimension of fashion open to me.

 

Be safe, everyone. Enjoy this day - look for the goodness and find a reason to smile. You are all beautiful and loved.

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3 hours ago, April Marie said:

Be safe, everyone. Enjoy this day - look for the goodness and find a reason to smile. You are all beautiful and loved.

🥰

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Yeah, I've had problems as well.   I had recently up dated my OS and was suspecting that.

It's been working for me this morning.

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11 hours ago, Petra Jane said:

'Fraid not, our server is under attack and our server gurus are working hard to rectify this issue.

Thank you @Petra Janeand server gurus.

I love you to death. Can't say enough about how beneficial this site is to me, and my coping mechanism.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋💖

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Well I've been having some pain in my left wrist. Even a prescription Hydrocodone wouldn't help. So, Headed out to the Cheyenne VA. Got in quickly. Diagnosis carpel tunnel, I've got a wrist brace to wear at night and some topical treatment. When I finished seeing the DR. They gave me my after visit summery, which had all my prescriptions on it. Including, my new E script, which I have been waiting for.  SO I asked the pharmacist about it. 15min later I find out the review group in Minnesota turned it over to our medical center to work out dosage vs anti-coagulant. 

 

So, I am just waiting for my topical treatment. I get called to the window. OH, they are not done with your yet they are adding other things. I wind up getting my months worth of E shots. Now I become a pin cushion.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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Good morning 

 

I too have had intermittent issues getting on but I trust the server team.  They’ve always fixed it before.

 

Got my Botox injections into my larynx yesterday.  Good thing too as I have been having lots of muscle spasms causing me to be unable to speak.  I finally got a better schedule.  More morning shifts less late shifts.  I work all weekend but at least it is 7am to 2 pm so I get the better part of my day off.  As a matter of fact, I need to finish my coffee and go get ready for my shift.

 

Remember those friends we lost, regardless of which action it was.  For me, it was Vietnam.  Several friends lost to fighting and one to agent Orange.  He would help load it on to the planes dispersing it.  Not his job but he had nothing better to do on his time off from regular duties.

 

very rainy here 3 to 5 inches expected before it’s done.

 

Willow

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Good morning, everyone! The sun is shining....and I was finally able to get back into the forum so my smile is shining. At one point this morning, I couldn't even access through my cell phone which routes thru Verizon's servers. You've all become such a part of my sanity and support system that I worried that I'd not be able to get back here. I know the admins have to do whatever is needed to protect us all - and the forum - and I'm very thankful to have a chance to check back in.

 

Hopefully, whatever they come up with will allow me to maintain access. But, thinking that I might not get back on made me realize that I needed to thank all of you who have helped me, encouraged me, consoled me and laughed with me over these past 4 months. Your encouragement made me stronger and saved me early on. Please know that I will always be thankful for that.

 

In the meantime, I'm going to relish every moment I have here with you all.

 

Smiles, happiness....and a skort with a t-shirt and flip flops...is the order of the day.

 

Be safe and find the goodness in this beautiful day. Believe me, it's there.

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39 minutes ago, April Marie said:

At one point this morning, I couldn't even access through my cell phone which routes thru Verizon's servers. You've all become such a part of my sanity and support system that I worried that I'd not be able to get back here. I know the admins have to do whatever is needed to protect us all - and the forum - and I'm very thankful to have a chance to check back in.

I had the same problem.  I was really bummed out.  Y'all here are my main support these days.  I live in a very red area, and while most people around here are not personally hostile, they are don't understand being transgender at all.  I've heard there may be a couple trans folks in the area, but I have no contact with them - and they are much younger.

I was so happy when I was able to get in here this morning.

 

I have gotten the impression that the site has been under an attack of some sort?  IDK, not a computer geek myself.  But I would hate to completely lose contact with people I depend on to maintain what's left of my sanity.  If anyone would like to exchange emails or something, in case worse comes to worse, they can DM me.

 

There seems to be a concerted effort to attack LGBT+ people and supporters now, and transgender people in particular.  I don't like the feeling of being isolated.  I wonder if that is the intent.

 

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

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When I couldn't get access yesterday. I worried some, however I knew that Petra Jane would come through and get us up again.

 

All of you are my family. I can be open and my true self here. Something that I can't even be in my own home.

 

I just wonder how many of these haters have dealt with a trans person and never knew it. We, like everyone else in the world come in all shapes and sizes. What I look at is there are CIS females that are pure and simple ugly. Some manly some ugly and feminine CIS males. Do I make an ugly woman, probably. so do some other females. Would I want to look like a 20 something Hottie. Yes. Daily, I see a woman and wish I looked like them. Alas I am just me. I don't have the disposable income to look like that. I wish. but I am me.

 

I am that young cute girl when I write. I am the person I writing about. In my stories, I can be beautiful, talented, rich, even deadly. Anything I can think of. The only limit is my imagination.

 

Off my soap box and headed for the kitchen for coffee.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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Hi everyone

 

We (30 of our friends and neighbors) had a cook out/eat in yesterday evening in celebration of Memorial Day.  They honored the four of us who are Vets and were there.  Hot dogs with chili, meatballs, potato and macaroni salad, deserts and wine.

 

Yes, this is important to all of us to be able to talk to each other even about things you can’t really share with family.  I know my family doesn’t really fully understand.  It’s nice being able to open up here.

 

Unfortunately, we are going through a period of intense hatred.  Just look at all the people who are shooting kids just for going after a ball the is in their yard or being killed just for pulling into a wrong driveway.  Or police officers shooting a child with his wants up after his mother’s boyfriend was fighting with her and the boy called 911.  Way too many people have become killers of innocent people.  Yes, I am aware of transgender friends beginning to arm themselves for self defense.  
 

Certainly, we are being challenged by people who are buying into the hatred and lies.  If they find us and our website there are a lot of ways they can attack even a denial of service attack.  
 

Willow

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21 minutes ago, ShawnaB said:

Mom did order me 3 new maxi dresses,she knows I love Maxi dresses 

I love it!!! My wife ordered me a LBD, yesterday. She's known I've wanted one and found a nice one while looking at JJill online.

 

I just got out of the pool for the day, watered the flower beds and as soon as I feed the dogs I'm going to get ready for our Happy Hour - planning on wearing my light blue crop pants with a new navy popover with embroidered flowers on the sleeves.

 

Heaven on Earth.

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Still struggling with the fact that my daughter (18 yo) isn't talking to me at all these days ... My wife and I haven't been doing well at all (after I told her I like to wear women's clothes), and she outed me to the kids. My daughter apparently blames me completely for the marriage going south. We were so close up until all of this. I just can't believe how much I am being vilified while my wife just ignores all of her issues because they are much less sensational...

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My nephew Johnathan was the first to call me Aunt Ashley. I didn't know to cry or be extremely happy to finally see a family member recognize who I actually am. My second ex and I have become friends but I think it was only because we have kids together. She had her top layer of her right eye damaged really badly. They removed it and at first didn't give her any narcotics. They just gave her ibprophen. A couple days later they finally gave her some good pain medicine. Last Friday the doctor gave her his personal cell phone number because he was concerned about it. Saturday came around and it didn't get any better so they removed the lens that was protecting her eye and gave more eye drops. I don't remember any of the technical terms but I do know that she is in a lot of pain because I had eye surgery too. It was kind of nice because I was able to spend more time with the kids on Saturday while she went to the appointment. I'm just now on my second cup of coffee because I forgot to clean out the reusable k-cups. Which I am thinking about just using regular k-cups instead after I finish up my coffee grounds. Church service was great I'm glad I changed to an affirming church and they even remember me. I'm not just a number. I do like the modern Christian music but the old hymns are nice too. Thank you @April Marie I'm definitely glad to get going and can't wait to see what the good Lord has planned out for me. I sure was wondering what happened the server. I did a check up on the internet and it wasn't on my side. It said that it was the site that was the problem. 

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Oh I forgot to mention that I might have a female partner. We are currently just friends but we do love each other. It can't be anything more since by law I'm considered separated so still married. Which I can't wait to take things to the next step. She lives in Colorado and I live in Mississippi. This is my second attempt at long distance relationship so hopefully it works out. Her name is Cindy. We met on Plenty of Fish dating site. She did have a relationship where the other girl was in Germany so this is no where near as long distance. I get to talk to her grandma since her parents died. I can't wait for that. I'm hoping that she will like me. 

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@EasyE it's going to take time and hopefully they'll come around. I understand how you feel. I lost my third wife over it. We are getting a divorce. Then again I didn't tell her I was trans. I don't get to see her boy anymore. The good thing is that my second wife hasn't put in hate in our kids. Which I think she doesn't do that because she knows that she relies on me a lot. Just keep praying and it will work in God's time. I think another thing that your 18 year old is struggling with is why didn't you tell her earlier. It's not easy finding something big happening when you get to that age. Also hopefully in time you won't be stressed out because you were living in secret. 

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36 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

@EasyE it's going to take time and hopefully they'll come around. I understand how you feel. I lost my third wife over it. We are getting a divorce. Then again I didn't tell her I was trans. I don't get to see her boy anymore. The good thing is that my second wife hasn't put in hate in our kids. Which I think she doesn't do that because she knows that she relies on me a lot. Just keep praying and it will work in God's time. I think another thing that your 18 year old is struggling with is why didn't you tell her earlier. It's not easy finding something big happening when you get to that age. Also hopefully in time you won't be stressed out because you were living in secret. 

Thanks for the encouragement. Down deep I think my daughter is mad at me more because she sees my marriage with her mom disintegrating and not so much because of the clothes thing (she has trans friends for goodness sakes!)

 

Ironically, she and her mom fight like cats and dogs EVERY DAY. I have always been the peacemaker. I have always been the one defending my daughter because her mom is very strict with her. Yet, she has chosen to abandon me completely. I don't get it. She won't even hear my side of things -- we haven't talked since my wife outed me to her... 🙁😞

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17 minutes ago, EasyE said:

Thanks for the encouragement. Down deep I think my daughter is mad at me more because she sees my marriage with her mom disintegrating and not so much because of the clothes thing (she has trans friends for goodness sakes!)

 

Ironically, she and her mom fight like cats and dogs EVERY DAY. I have always been the peacemaker. I have always been the one defending my daughter because her mom is very strict with her. Yet, she has chosen to abandon me completely. I don't get it. She won't even hear my side of things -- we haven't talked since my wife outed me to her... 🙁😞

She needs time to process like I said. It's rough because all she has known is you two. She is going to quickly find someone or something to blame. I don't I would take it personally yet. She'll give you a chance. 

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@Ivy 

 

Hi Ivy

 

I am trying to help a mother who needs an endocrinologist for her teenage daughter, Bella.  The endocrinologist they were talking to has decided to no longer treat teens.  That seems to be a growing problem.  Do you know of any endocrinologist in or near Ashland that might be willing to take a teen patient?  
 

thank you.  Willow 

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3 hours ago, Willow said:

Do you know of any endocrinologist in or near Ashland that might be willing to take a teen patient?

I'm afraid not.  I would suggest Asheville, but even that is a pretty good drive.  What about Boone?  It is a university town.  

I get my HRT from the VA  in Asheville.

I'm actually in Cleveland County, close to the SC border myself.

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Good morning, everyone!!! It was so refreshing to sit down at the computer and find you all here this morning - thanks again to our Admin team!!!

 

Yesterday was a beautiful day spent at our pool followed by Happy Hour and a light dinner with my wife out on our patio. I decided to wear the new popover I got recently - Navy Blue with embroidered flowers on the sleeves. I changed my avatar picture to one wearing the top - I think it's just gorgeous...the top...I'm just the old grandmother wearing it. 🙂  We ended the evening sitting out drinking wine and watching the sun set. I am so very blessed.

 

I always struggle with Memorial Day here in the US. While it's become a day of BBQ's and fun for most, it is a somber day for me as I remember The Fallen in our militaries including some friends lost along the way. I, ultimately, have decided to make it a celebration of their lives and sacrifices. I'm here because of their sacrifice - and I have been given this opportunity to explore and become because of them, as well. Salute to all those who made that ultimate sacrifice for us.

 

So, today I will spend some more time working on my tan by the pool. We plan on making burgers on the grill for dinner...and, perhaps, another evening of watching the sun set with a glass of wine and the woman I love so dearly.

 

Be safe, everyone, and find the goodness in this day we've been given.

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Good morning y'all!

 

I'll be home all day, but maybe some friends might come by to visit.  I don't get out much anymore, so it is what it is. 

I have plenty to keep me busy if I really wanted to, but sometimes a lazy day around the house with a warm cup of coffee is rewarding as well. 

I just looked in the mirror and I can't believe that just a year ago I was pretending to be a man dressing in bib overalls to hide my breasts. Those overalls weren't working anymore (growing spree) so they went on a shelf, and I let my hair grow. Now I look like a completely different person.  I have always felt more female than male, so now I'm just letting my body lead the way. I do hope my body decides to stop soon, my breasts are large enough already and big breasts do get in the way. 🙄

 

Have a good Memorial day y'all!

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  • Posts

    • April Marie
      Loving this woman I am becoming.
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!! I was up early again - already on my third cup of coffee having walked/fed the dog and read the local paper.   We have a birthday party for a friend to go to this afternoon but no real plans otherwise.   I hope to be able to attend tonight's TGP Zoom session. It's been weeks since I've been able to participate with the illness/loss of our dog, two horrible colds in succession and our trip to chase the solar eclipse.   Have a wonderful day and look for the goodness in it.
    • April Marie
      I think we tend to be overly critical of our looks, whether we're trying to express ourselves as masculine, feminine or anywhere along the gender spectrum. For me, I use photos as a way to track my progress, to help me find my style and look and to help me find ways to improve myself in posture, looks, make-up, style......   I didn't really think about our FB avatar being public but then realized that when people search they do see it.   Since I'm not out to anyone but my wife, therapist, priest and people here, my FB page remains "that guy." I have created a Bitmoji that is relatively androgynous moving slowly towards the feminine. Long gray hair, earrings, softer features...I'm transitioning it along with myself. :-)
    • April Marie
      I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career.   This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it.    Thank you for sharing your story, Sally.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7   The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year.  But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits.   Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Group Zoom Meeting Times: April 20, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time April 20, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time April 21, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend.   *Hugs* Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
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