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I used to hit the Renaissance Festival here, but I really just liked to dress up for it.  A tunic is so much like a dress.  But there was lots of cool stuff to see and buy (if you had the funds).   Sadly the Corona has knocked that out for now.

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OHHHH more SCAdians and LARPers.  YAY!  I had to give it up due to pretty much wrecking my shoulder as a SCA heavy fighter.  But it was SO fun.  Best memory was my first Pennsic, fought with Atlantia in the front rank.  


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 New co worker this week,her name is Elizabeth and we get along.Plus she is supportive and said she has a 16 year old daughter, Tracy just like me,enjoys wearing girl's clothes although she has been happy as a boy.Found the boy's clothes boring to wear and loves the girl's clothes more living and dressing as a girl for a year now.Found out Elizabeth is supportive of her and her husband is coming closer to terms Tracy is finally happy


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"Excuse me miss ..."


I was called miss for the first time ever this evening. So happy I have to tell someone!


Just popped up to the shops for groceries and wasn't wearing anything special ... little bit of makeup.



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Emily michelle

You look great Berni! It makes my day when I’m called ma’am or lady!

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1 hour ago, Emily michelle said:

You look great Berni! It makes my day when I’m called ma’am or lady!

Thankyou Emily

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1 hour ago, Robin.C said:

"so happy i had to tell someone" ...

yay 🤩



Thanks Robin. So hard sometimes when you have no one to share the small victories with.

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Wow, @Robin.C that’s a lot of bikes.  Yes I know each one has its specialty and you were obviously into racing of various types.  I’ve never owned more than two and strictly recreational riding. My son has or had several, but not 15.  Mountain bikes, road bike and super light weight iron man bike.  He has completed in and finished several iron man events.  Me, I never had the endurance to run any distance events.


I’m up early for me.  As I expect most of you know October 11 (Sunday) is coming out day.  I plan on coming out to a gathering of people who know me, but don’t really KNOW me.  Obviously I’m a bit nervous about that.


That will be my first coming out beyond family and a couple of close friends.  I’ll let you know how that goes presuming I don’t back out.




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Up early because I couldn't sleep either. I know I am kind of excited and nervous for my HRT Appointment here in like an hour. I am sure it will go well. Today also getting the Flu shot, so I might feel kind of icky over the next couple days which is never any fun, but it beats the full blown Flu.


@Willow I pass as much of my positive vibes as I can your way for your coming out. I might hit up my brothers this weekend and then two of my Aunts who live in Virginia. I know it is going to be hard to come out as the true you, just know that their reactions don't make you, you make you.

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4 hours ago, Berni said:

"Excuse me miss ..."

It just makes my heart melt whenever I hear this.

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@Berni love your hair and from your photo I don't see how anyone couldn't be calling you a lady. Your look is so cute.... Ah some day I might have someone call me a lady.

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5 hours ago, Berni said:

So happy I have to tell someone!


I'm so happy for you, @Berni!


But not surprised.  You look lovely.  Even the way you hold yourself is sweet and proudly feminine.





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Like Amber I couldn't sleep. I guess that getting up a 4 something for the past 10 days has affected my mind. Oh, well I can take a nap later.


I have been Ma'amed a few times, it is a great feeling. Sometimes not trying to present as female. which was even better. I always get ma'amed when I walk into the woman's clinic at the VA. It is obvious why I am there. since I don't walk in with a female. 


Under a brown cloud this AM. about 35 degrees. So, I may be staying inside most of the day. While I don't have any breathing problems (while awake) I don't want to subject my lungs to this crap.


Have a great day everyone.


love and hugs,


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CONGRATULATIONS AMBER - both she and I had Equitas appointments today - she is now going to get HRT, mine was my first 3 month HRT check up and my NP said all my numbers were good and liked all of my mental and physical reactions so far and decided to up my finasteride to reduce T more and help with hair growth (hopefully).

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@Shay Wonderful news. Glad things are going well with your regimen.


@QuestioningAmberSo excited for you! I know you’re going to be on cloud 9! 

Finally feeling better since my GYN appointment Tuesday. Yesterday I just couldn’t function, went to get my hair done and then I was done! Thinking about doing some house work today. Returning to work November 1st so I am excited to get back to normal. 

@Jackie C. Same here. I don’t have any hair to cover any scarring since I had it all removed. My scarring seems to be responding well to the Mederma PM. Your revision surgery is right before Christmas right?

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7 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

It makes my day when I’m called ma’am or lady!

Anything other than sir.  Alas, that is rare.

I was at the VA clinic a couple weeks ago for blood work.  While we were waiting outside (covid) one of the guys was talking about masks.  He said "It's not for me, it's for her" pointing at me.   Needless to say it made my day.

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@Jandi that must have felt wonderful.... one of these days I hope that happens to me - not the blood work at the VA (I go to my doctor and they have Quest) but to be called HER .... sadly I am a long way from that yet.... hugs

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@Kylie Is Novemeber the 1st you first day at new job? You sure have a lot you probably need to do between now and then - so keep your head up and keep a forward motion.

The Best to YOU,


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@Berni That is wonderful! As others have said, love your style.

@Shay That's great news! Hopefully you do see some improvements in your levels. My derm did say that it usually takes about a year on fin before you might notice much new growth.

@QuestioningAmber Congrats!!! That's amazing news! 

@Kylie For some reason it's not finding you when I @ you. I am glad you are feeling better today. Hope you can enjoy some time relatively pain free and healthy before you go back to work. 


For those of you that didn't sleep well, I hope tonight brings you some much needed z's.


I have yet to be ma'am'd. So far I have been able to just let the sirs and misters slide right by me. If I present more tradfem it may bug me, but dressing fairly androgynous right now, it is easy for folks to mess up.


Doing virtual glasses try-ons today to try and narrow down to a couple different frame styles, so I can minimize what I have to do when I go in to actually try them on and buy a new pair.

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@SaraAW where do you go to do virtual glasses tryons - I need new glasses and want something more feminine than in the past.

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Many of the major retailers (trad. brick & mortor and online only) of prescription eyewear now have online tools for this. You need to access the sites with a device that has a connected camera (ex. tablet, cell phone or laptop). They're not perfect, they use AR similar to faceapp or snapchat to project the glasses onto the image of your face, but it at least gets you a decent idea if it's in the realm of a possible fit for your face and style.

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2 hours ago, Kylie said:

@Jackie C. Same here. I don’t have any hair to cover any scarring since I had it all removed. My scarring seems to be responding well to the Mederma PM. Your revision surgery is right before Christmas right?


Yeah, the week before. I'll be flying home Christmas Eve if everything goes according to plan.


I've been using BioOil. I suppose they've faded a little, but I'm so very, very white they show up as a really stark pink and the one on the left has a bit of a ridge to it. I'm curious what Doctor Rumer will be able to do with me. When I mentioned it to my GYN I was up in the stirrups and he immediately started mushing it around to see what the results might look like. I kind of froze. Nothing up to that moment that had ever happened to me gave me any clue about how I should respond. He signed my GCS confirmation and had it notarized though so we're still friends.



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I decided to sign up for college yesterday. I am a bit nervous about how much help I will need but, this has been a dream of mine for many years. It is my plan to become an online therapist for the lgbtq community. I know the field is wide open and the people are way under served. I am certain this will do a world of good for me as well. It will take a while but the school is very supportive of my plan thus far and has already been working towards a plan to help me achieve this goal. I just wanted to share that. Have a lovely day everyone.

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      Hello, I am unsure where to start really, I guess I want to say out loud to the world that I am proud to be bisexual and finally open up that I am genderfluid. It has taken me a couple of decades to finally be able understand my gender, I feel like the world had finally given me a word that defines how I have felt for a long time. It was strange growing up, having feeling and thoughts without a label to make sense of myself or anyone to talk to about it. Some people consider the lack of a label a positive thing which I understand in many ways but it has been so hard to put into words to describe myself. I never understood why one day I would like my body as I was born (female) to then find I wanted nothing more than to be the total opposite. I was like two different people growing up, fluctuating from being happy as I represent one way to the complete opposite where I felt empty and a fraud, never opening up to one side of myself. I buried so many feelings and would make myself numb on the days where I felt 'wrong'. My sexuality on the other hand was something I came to terms with quite early on and although I never shouted it out, I was not ashamed privately of it from being a late teen. I confess even now, I am more nervous about telling my family and friends about being genderfluid as the world is still learning about it. I have finally admitted to myself who I am which has brought me so much relief and happiness. I feel like I am learning my life again, it's a wonderful taste of freedom. It is very early stages, I still fear being laughed at or told I am 'confused'. I have suffered with depression and bad mental healthe over the years- my greatest fear is having my past illnesses used against me when I try to explain who I am as a person. I truly believe my sadness in the past was partly due to the suppression and lies I carried for so long. After years of heartache, numbness, confusion, secrecy, traumas and insecurities I am emerging as a beautiful person. I understand so much more and I am able represent my true self. I would love to chat with others that understand, this is my first time of opening up to the wider world and I fear strangers less than those close to me. So far I have only told 2 people about being genderfluid; my partner and one friend. They were incredibly supportive. Love to them both XXX       
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      Well I did it. I turned it into the news paper today this morning. Lol. I’m so excited that I know that in about a month I will be Holly legally. Omg it seems like a dream. 
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