Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Heather Nicole]

4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Nope. I can't even change a tire. I find female mechanics hot as heck though.

 

Me neither. But as far as female mechanics, all I have to say is this:

 

Winry Rockbell

[Heather Shay]

Female mechanics are just as talented as the male equivalent only better in everything besides mechanic-ing.

[KymmieL]

It is happy girl dance time again. Just got back from picking up my wig. Gosh, it so soft and beautiful. nice long blonde. I love it. It made me miss my own long hair that much more. but know I have long hair until mine grows back.

 

Kymmie

[Ivy]

4 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

I don't do much under the hood, because, frankly, cars don't even look like cars under the hood any more.

I know what you mean

[AmberM]

@KymmieL that's awesome you got the new wig. Celebrate the win with the instant styled and long hair that is soft and silky

[Elizabeth Star]

It was another fun day on the phones.  I didn't get "sir-ed" by anyone. I did manage to be stupid and answer that last call like 3 seconds before 5. We help everyone, even non-customers when we can. It turned into a 35 minute call with a non-customer, trying to get me to schedule a service call. Due to liability reasons we can't service anything without some sort of contract. It was so nice though I didn't get frustrated or angry about it, just worked the problem.

 

At my job on a typical Saturday we have 1 person on the phones and 1 service tech in the  field. This is my Saturday. My supervisor called the tech to give him a friendly reminder and the side of the conversation I heard was "Just a reminder your the field tech tomorrow.........Liz.......Liz......Elizabeth........She was formerly known as (deadname)....yes.....you better be respectful". I looked at my boss "seriously?!? He doesn't know? they sent out email like 2 wees ago". He just asked me to not give the tech too much credit for reading the email and understanding what's going on. All I could do was laugh. We'll see how it goes.

 

I also got called an "LHB" by my friend. Apparently wearing jeggings with an over-sized hoodie is a butch lesbian thing. She's a good friend and we talk openly about everything. To be a fly on the wall.

 

 

[Abi]

    I always treated cars like they were just another pair of shoes. I got my fun out of them but fixxing them was low on my list of to-do's. I did work as a punch press operator for many years though. I found a way to triple production and be as lazy as possible doing so. I really do not miss that at all. I never want grease and grime onder my nails or all over my clothes ever again. 

    I had a rough experience today but handled it well.... I think. My daughter told me someone wanted to give her a t.v. I could have just said no. I should have. I decided to walk up to this person's house and be friendly. I showed up to two women sitting in a garage. I said hello and discussed why this giant console t.v. was not good for our house and thanked them for the offer. We started talking about the way the kids have all been getting into arguements in the neighborhood.I always downplay these things because kids have enough problems. They do not need parents giving them a hard time too. Then this one lady started talking about a child she called he/she. I asked what she meant. I ask dumb questions and get upset when I get dumb answers. I already knew but I was really curious what she had to say too. She proceeded to talk trash about a twelve year old that had been questioning and in the most negative of ways. I said very calmly that I support anyone that wishes to express the way they feel freely and that I was supportive. I'm standing in front of these women wearing skinny jeans and mascara. Terror swept through me as my daughter watched my every move. She was clearly uncomfortable for me and the other child they were speaking of. They said they didn't support that in our school and wanted their children to stay away from this child. I really just felt bad for these kids more than anything. I said we all get to be people regardless of who approves and gathered my children to leave. I will not be dragged into an arguement that has no good outcome in store for anyone, just to prove a point. My daughter and I shared a conversation about how everything I am doing may affect her as I move forward. I told her I did not want to ruin her life. I asked her if she wanted me to wait until she and her brother are grown. My thirteen year old daughter showed me so much love in this moment. She said she thought that was a bad idea. She told me if I do not to this now, that I might not ever. I love her so much. I could never have asked for a better daughter and honestly, friend.  Sorry for the long post but I just had to share this with all of you. 

 

Hugs you all,

Abi

[KendraML]

Seeing my daughter Allison happy about tomorrow,saying goodbye to life as a boy.She likes my new hair style I had done by my hair stylist whom is going to her hair tomorrow.Told Allison she is nice and ready to meet her.

[Susan R]

2 hours ago, Abi said:

My thirteen year old daughter showed me so much love in this moment. She said she thought that was a bad idea. She told me if I do not to this now, that I might not ever. I love her so much. I could never have asked for a better daughter and honestly, friend.  Sorry for the long post but I just had to share this with all of you.

This is wonderful news, Abi. To have that support from. your daughter is a blessing not many in our situation will experience. She sounds like a very mature teenager. She understands that your happiness is dependent on being you and is important to you regardless of what others might think. That is incredible at such a young age. I’m happy for you and I thank you for sharing this.

 

Susan R?

[Susan R]

2 hours ago, KendraML said:

Seeing my daughter Allison happy about tomorrow,saying goodbye to life as a boy.She likes my new hair style I had done by my hair stylist whom is going to her hair tomorrow.Told Allison she is nice and ready to meet her.

I am sure that Allison is going to enjoy this moment for the rest of her life...assuming the stylist does a nice job. My first time to a stylist didn’t end well but that whole experience was atypical. I look forward to going now. Finding the right person to do your hair is half the battle. It sounds like you found a good one for Allison.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

[KendraML]

1 hour ago, Susan R said:

I am sure that Allison is going to enjoy this moment for the rest of her life...assuming the stylist does a nice job. My first time to a stylist didn’t end well but that whole experience was atypical. I look forward to going now. Finding the right person to do your hair is half the battle. It sounds like you found a good one for Allison.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

I did,My stylist loves working with the transgender community.She sees this community like any normal person and listens to the customer

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, KendraML said:

She sees this community like any normal person and listens to the customer

This was the issue on my first time out to a stylist earlier last year. I told her NO BANGS several times. She either messed up or there was a language interpretation issue. Either way, I ended up with very short cockeyed length front bangs. That was the last time my wife and I used that stylist.

 

Hope to read an update the experience Allison has at your stylist tomorrow.

 

Susan R?

[Berni]

6 hours ago, Abi said:

 I told her I did not want to ruin her life. I asked her if she wanted me to wait until she and her brother are grown. My thirteen year old daughter showed me so much love in this moment. She said she thought that was a bad idea. She told me if I do not to this now, that I might not ever. I love her so much. I could never have asked for a better daughter and honestly, friend.  Sorry for the long post but I just had to share this with all of you. 

 

Hugs you all,

Abi

Oh my goodness. I'm choking up reading this .. it's so beautiful. Thankyou for sharing.

 

I'm not actually out to my children yet .... I so hope they are as wonderful and supportive of me as yours are of you. @Abi

[KymmieL]

7 hours ago, KendraML said:

I did,My stylist loves working with the transgender community.She sees this community like any normal person and listens to the customer

That is half the battle right there. Finding someone who works with the trans community. Then again we should be treated just like everyone else. we are a woman or a man.

 

Kymmie

 

[KymmieL]

Well good Monday morning everyone. Well it is my Monday. Surprised that even after my session with the chiropractor yesterday. I am feeling good. Go back for another  session on Monday.

 

My son goes back to days next week so on my days off I can be me. Have a VA appt on Thurs with my GYN. I'm going as Kymmie. I just need to work on make up skills as I have zero right now.

Have a great weekend everyone.

 

Hugs

Kymmie

[Abi]

5 hours ago, Berni said:

I'm not actually out to my children yet .... I so hope they are as wonderful and supportive of me as yours are of you

    My daughter is actually one of the first people to see "me" and immediately support my heart. I shared this because every one of us deserves to feel loved and cherished, no matter who we are. One can never be sure who that will be. It is my greatest hope that all of us have this support from someone. I was just beginning to grow out my hair and nails when she started talking about lgbtq things to me. I would have kept this to myself if it were not for already having seen she supports all of us. I have spoken to my children about being open minded and non-judgemental since they were very young. My son doesn't seem to care what anyone does as long as he can still play video games. Occasionally I even join in. I always play the girl characters. It is really all about showing them you are never going to do anything but love them.

    You know your children better than anyone. The way that will work for you may be different than mine. I have been using a bread crumb idea that someone on here suggested. I just dropped little comments that I could see how they reacted and that gave me a good idea of how to approach the next step. One way I started that with everyone was a pride ring. I love the one I got for myself and it just is a subtle way of saying, " I'm cool with people being whoever they want to be ". You'll find a way that feels good for you when you're ready. I think one of the hardest feelings I've had to overcome has been knowing how long I have kept all of my relationships, with the people that care about me, from having a chance to be truly great because they were not getting to see me truly happy. I wish happiness for you, for everyone really. I imagine your children want that for you too. 

    Sorry I haven't said so before now but, I love your style and attitude. You are always so positive and supportive to everyone here. I suspect you are that way everywhere. I hope your children get to see how much feeling good about who you are makes you. That will also show them how much feeling good about who they are means to you too. 

 

Abi

 

 

 

[AmberM]

@Abi That is awesome you have the full support of your daughter. I think you have done a tremendous job raising her to have a caring and compassionate heart. I am sure the interaction with your neighbors was quite difficult. That is the kind of thing that scares me about staying here during transition, and I have had thoughts of moving because of it (luckily the wife and I simply rent). I don't understand how people can have so much hate in their hearts.

 

This morning is going pretty good, slept in some. Today going to a Mental Health Support group meeting. First time going to an in person meeting since COVID, but I have been wanting to see some of the people, and we are taking precautions. After that going to go see my Dad this evening, see what kind of questions he has since coming out, then doing dinner with him. I just realized, I do not give myself a true break these days. I think I need to plan a weekend where I take a break from coming out or doing a support group.

[Heather Nicole]

I'll admit, sometimes it worries me a little when I hear about people's teen/childhood dysphoria being stronger and more noticeable than my own (the whole "Am I trans enough?" self-doubt bugaboo), even though there's still a lot I do relate to, but just at a less intense volume. Like, I know I've been semi-consciously censoring myself and my expressions and mannerisms most of my life (although it's only recently I've been noticing how much I'd been doing it), but it was never as strong and noticeable to me as in some of your stories. I suppose that's something to be grateful for, but I think it also made it harder for me to recognize my trans side.

Of course, having periodic, very conscious, wishes from childhood onward that I could magically wake up in the morning transformed into a girl, like in movies and such (because it seemed like that would be sooo cool!)...is probably a pretty BIG clue, in retrospect!

And I think there may be reasons the other clues weren't quite as loud for me:

 

For one, it's taken me most of my life to really understand this, but I always had nearly crippling levels of shyness, social anxiety, hyper-sensitivity to other people's views and reactions of me, to embarrassment, and especially just had major, major inhibition in general. So I think from a very early age, maybe I was already internalizing the habit of self-repression. With few exceptions, I don't think it ever occurred to me to even consider whether or not I might like something, if I knew it to be in the "girls" category. I would have been far too sensitive of social repercussions to even consider the possibility of whether I might like it.

 

Also, I've always had a highly technical mind. I never really bought into much of the "gender differences" stuff. I mean sure, there's the anatomy and reproductive differences (and endocrine/hormone differences, I'm learning now), but beyond that I never really saw gender as much more than an arbitrary flip of the coin and a huge TON of arbitrary social constructs. So, for example, when my fifth grade classmate informed me (with nothing but good intensions, to be fair) that the way I looked at my nails was the girl way and therefore wrong for me, or when my dad would give me...crud...about the length of my fingernails, my interpretation was always "Seriously? That's absolutely absurd. What is his problem?"

 

As a result, instead of questioning my gender, I developed a VERY deep sore spot for misandry and ALL double standards and inequality. It didn't help either that back in my day, everyone was constantly being told "girls can be/do anything", but nobody would ever dare say the same about boys. I could only conclude they must have thought that us wee 1980's children had somehow, bizarrely, all lived through the misogynist 1950's and prior. (Pardon me, still a very sore spot...But...heh...imagine that, a woman...a gay woman...with a deep, very personal sore spot about misandry! Go figure.)

 

Speaking of self-censoring mannerisms...Lately, now that I'm both more aware of it and more brave (speaking of, I find that true braveness is closely related to "not giving an F!", what do you think?), I've recently been allowing myself mannerisms that I previously feared and stopped myself as being too feminine. I love it! It's small, yet satisfying and liberating.

 

Oooh, my coffee's ready...☕

[Heather Nicole]

3 hours ago, Abi said:

I always play the girl characters.

 

I've been doing that since, like, forever

[AmberM]

@Abi@Heather Nicole I too have almost exclusively played female characters when possible. Almost every one of my characters in MMOs were female. Even when playing D&D I would play a female Half-Elf Ranger as my favorite or default character.

[Heather Nicole]

@QuestioningAmber: I always explained to myself and others that "If I'm going to be staring at a character all this time, I'd rather be looking at an attractive gal than some guy." And there's definitely truth in that for me. But deep down I always liked getting to be a girl, even if it was just in a videogame.

[AmberM]

@Heather Nicole It is funny because I used the same reasoning. Nobody ever really questioned it in the end, but I knew at that point even it was more than just who I wanted to stare at, it is who I wanted to be.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

@QuestioningAmber: I always explained to myself and others that "If I'm going to be staring at a character all this time, I'd rather be looking at an attractive gal than some guy." And there's definitely truth in that for me. But deep down I always liked getting to be a girl, even if it was just in a videogame.

 

Oh yeah. I did that forever. I mean, why would I want to look at some dude? I was a little cruder about it though, "If I'm going to be looking at a behind for a hundred hours, I'd rather it be a shapely female one. If you can't get enough man-butt though, I won't judge."

 

Hugs!

[Heather Nicole]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

"If I'm going to be looking at a behind for a hundred hours, I'd rather it be a shapely female one. If you can't get enough man-butt though, I won't judge."

 

Ha ha! I love that!

 

Interestingly, any time my dad's joined in on a game, he'd pick the female ones too, and for the same "this what I'd rather look at" reason. Hmm...   Then again, you should hear how he feels about Michael Jackson...Whew! Then again, maybe better not!

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

 

Ha ha! I love that!

 

Interestingly, any time my dad's joined in on a game, he'd pick the female ones too, and for the same "this what I'd rather look at" reason. Hmm...   Then again, you should hear how he feels about Michael Jackson...Whew! Then again, maybe better not!

 

I'm guessing that, "Michael Jackson is a tragic figure, but I only enjoyed two of his songs," is not his opinion? I mean, c'mon. Everybody liked Thriller.

 

I've seen cis/het guys prefer the female characters for things like smaller hitboxes and aesthetics. It's just not the "all the time" or "I won't play that stupid RPG if I have to do it as a dude." I'm looking at YOU Insomnia: The Ark.

 

Hugs!