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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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ElizabethStar

The rest of the clothes I ordered came in. I had slightly better luck with a few of the tops. The sweater I posted in the what are you wearing thread is one of them. It's mostly the arms that are too small. Lesson learned and returns are free. There is also a mini-skirt. It's black, pleated and shorter than I anticipated. It'll be good as long as I don't bend over. What a shame I have to up my "act and move like a lady" skills. My wife asked about what I bought, she's only seen the sweater at this point (I can tell she's jealous). Before I could answer she asked if there were any dresses. No, no dresses. Skirts? Yea, I replied in a matter-of-fact kind of tone. I quickly reiterated one of her previous statements that I could wear skirts as long as she didn't see it. The problem is she would see me leave and/or come home. I mentioned this fact and agreed that I wouldn't parade around or rub it in face in any way.

 

So again it appears she is becoming more accepting. We'll see how it goes when she sees me leave for coffee tomorrow morning in a mini-skirt and knee high boots.

 

night everyone

 

 

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7 hours ago, Willow said:

and 4 hours later I quit.

Oh no, that doesn't sound good. I'm with @Mmindy... curious what happened?

 

@ElizabethStar I have *exactly* the same problem with many women's tops about the sleeve length and width. They are often cut shorter, designed for a woman's smaller body compared to a man's. Sleeves usually hit in a weird place on the arm too, being neither truly long-sleeve or short-sleeve - i worry about this with the suit I ordered, which isn't here yet BTW. I also feel like the taller a person is, the harder it is to find pieces that truly fit (I'm 5'11"). I'm picking up on your wife's jealousy too from how you describe her reactions to the clothes you're buying. It feels sort of similar to my partner's response, which is like I'm taking away from her femininity by being feminine myself. She's accepting it more over time, but the feelings are still there that it's somehow wrong. You are braver than me though - I have never worn any dress or skirt shorter than knee-length. I wish you the best with your coffee trip this morning!

 

Middle of the night here in NYC (4am). Slept well until a bit ago, and then someone decided it might be kind to the neighborhood to blast hip hop from their car with the volume turned up to 11. Gotta love New Yorkers. Hoping to sleep a few more hours, I know my body needs it.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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Chloe Cozee
8 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Before I could answer she asked if there were any dresses. No, no dresses

 

My wife is same way! I never asked, but she has a whole extra room with all her clothes & dresses hanging up. I think she is afraid that I will be like that and we will run out of room. Lately around the house I wear black leggings and a woman's running shirt. 

 

Good Morning, coffee tastes heavenly this morning. Cold here, outside thermometer is reading 16.

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Good morning ladies!  5:45 and I'm already on my second cup of delicious ambrosia. AKA coffee.  This early in the morning in refer to my coffee as the nectar of the gods because of how glorious that first cup tastes.

So many things I need to know from these latest posts:

@Willow you can't tease us like that- details!

@ElizabethStarI'm expecting a full fashion show in the what are you wearing thread of all the new things. Mini Skirt-OMG I'm too scared to go there.  It's not the femininity side of it, I'm just too old to feel comfortable going there.  Best I've done is about 2" above the knee.  Liz, I think you need to just wear what you want and not apologize. Your spouse is trying to control your transition through fashion. Maybe "include" her in your fashion choices by asking for advice instead of permission.  I always ask my wife if my choice for the day "looks OK" from a fashion sense or ask, "what top works better with this skirt" kind of questions.  Women have those kinds of discussions naturally and all the time.  

@AudreyI understand your dilemma, I'm 5'11"ish too.  Women's sleeves are all over the place but if you look at other women more closely you will see they have the same issue. Men are used to sleeves having a "standard". Long walls perfectly at the wrist and short is is just below the deltoids.  Womens vary.  I'm lucky that my wife's jealousy of how I look sometimes just motivated her to "up" her look.  She works from home so got very lazy from a fashion standpoint so I inspired her to dress nicer for her work days. Plus, a lot of my clothes fit her so she steals them.  lol

 

Well, I've got to start getting my day together, I have to work early this morning. What's a lady to wear today..............

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1 hour ago, Chloe Cozee said:

 

My wife is same way! I never asked, but she has a whole extra room with all her clothes & dresses hanging up. I think she is afraid that I will be like that and we will run out of room. Lately around the house I wear black leggings and a woman's running shirt. 

 

Good Morning, coffee tastes heavenly this morning. Cold here, outside thermometer is reading 16.

Haha- the struggle is real.  We have an old townhouse from the 60s and the closets are small!    My wardrobe quickly exceeded my wife's in capacity so now we took over the guest room closet for off season fashion.  I dream of a modern house with walk in closets- maybe a whole walk in shoe closet.......

My sister (a Vp in an environmental clean up company) has a 7000 sq foot home which I can't stand for it's excessiveness but her master bedroom has two walk in closets attached to a "dressing" chamber that is larger than my whole master bedroom.  I am super jealous of that part of her house. lol

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Chloe Cozee
1 hour ago, Bri2021 said:

My sister (a Vp in an environmental clean up company) has a 7000 sq foot home

 

Wow! That's like four and a half of our house! 

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I'm jealous. I've only come out to my wife of 50 yrs so far. She accepts me. We have our son, his wife, and 3 adult kids living with us who don't know yet. Youngest is 17. I've been secretly leaving clues around the house. They may actually know, but aren't saying anything. My wife is afraid to let them know because of what they might feel about her. She says it's  not fair to her that I'm changing. I apologize to her profusely for putting her in that position, but say at 68 yrs old, I have to do this before it's too late.  I can only wear things that aren't obvious so far, like high cut boy shorts, and painted toenails. I am getting my ears pierced real soon, as soon as I find a place. I can't wait to have diamond studs. My wife never wants me to go out in public dressed up, but I told her I wanted to do it incognito. Oh, I just ordered a in home laser hair remover from amazon. Hope it works. 

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3 hours ago, Bri2021 said:

. Mini Skirt-OMG I'm too scared to go there.  It's not the femininity side of it, I'm just too old to feel comfortable going there

Yeah, me too.    My daughter (early 20’s) tried to get me to do this.   I told her I need to act my age.

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Sally Stone

I have a denim mini-skirt that wear around the house on occasion, but I've never considered it particularly appropriate to wear out of the house.  I'd have no problem at all wearing it if I was 20 or 30.  Still, I do have quite a few other above the knee skirts that still look fashionable and they are great for showing off my legs.  It's super cold here this weekend, however, so my outing tomorrow is probably going to include a longer skirt and tall boots.

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CD Rachel


 

Good morning all,

#ElizabethStar –  I am seconding Bri2021 on the full fashion show!

Finishing up my second cup of coffee now. I had to run down and get some blood work done this morning. I hate needles!

My first therapy session with the new therapist went well yesterday. Working on filling her in on a lot of my back story concerning my marriage and separation. I will be able to slip another session in next week so I will not have to wait two weeks to see her again.

I have to go down to the wife's house today. She needs a light fixture replaced and some plumbing work done so her contractor can close up the walls. Apparently her plumber had a hissy fit when she questioned him on some iffy work that he had done and he stormed out of the house. Why is it so hard to find a good reliable contractor that shows up when he says he will and does quality work without trying to rip people off?

Hope everyone has a Super Saturday!

Rachel

 

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I'm back, at a more reasonable hour now. Managed to get another hour and a half or so of sleep, then gave up and just got my day started. I went out for my morning exercise routine in the park - and was greeted by the wall of below-freezing air that seems to be gripping much of the Northeast and Midwest this weekend. I summoned the Minnesota girl inside of me and managed to work up enough body heat to do my usual 45 minutes. I can't even tell you how fast I made hot tea the instant I got home.

 

No big plans for the weekend other than enjoy the brief respite from working. My partner and I talked about going on another hike outside the City, but the cold is proving very de-motivating for that, so we'll probably just be home. There is a Moroccan lentil stew in a cookbook we hope to make, will be perfect with this weather. I'm also looking forward to my virtual girls night tonight though with my West Coast girlfriends! ❤️ 

 

@Bri2021 Your sister's home has probably has more square footage than *every* apartment in the six story building I'm living in!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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Good morning everyone 

 

sorry about that last night.  The initial search on the company looked good, so I went forward with their process of applying for a part-time job. Three hours spent answering questions and waiting for the person on the other end to move on gave me time to search further.  Both Indeed and Glass  Ceiling had poor employee reviews and mentioned high turn over.  That made me skeptical.  The last straw was the HR guy telling me to hold on he’d get back to me after I’d accepted their job offer.  I finally had had enough and sent a message back that I rescinded their offer.  Now all of a sudden they were back to me and all but you are set up to start tomorrow blah blah.  Even emailed me more paperwork.  At this point I am skeptical that I was even talking to the real company and not a scammer.  Unfortunately they did get some info out of me that if they are a scammer could be a problem.  
 

So if it was a tease, I’m sorry but I don’t need a job and there were signs in the end the it wasn’t legit.

 

 Willow 

 

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Back.

 

Fashion discussion:

 

if I want a short sleeve T I try 3/4. The are a little long but not bad.  Mini skirts?  Not for me. I’ll go above the knee but just barely.   Next problem is finding full length dresses or skirts that are long enough.  Even long pants often end up Capri length.  My wife is jealous of my feminine appearance.  She is very short, 4’ 10”.   After years of joint compression I am now only 5’ 8”. (Guess I need to hang upside down.). She has mentioned my legs are nicer than hers.  Also my upper body is better proportioned since I have a smaller chest. She is a DD I am a B.  We wear similar sizes so things that were bought on line for her sometimes become hand me downs to me.  She really wants to lose weight before buying clothes (I lost 30 pounds) but then complains I bought clothes.  But I started from zero.  Our closet got too full and collapsed so when I physically can, I have to rebuild our closet. I hate wiremold. It’s quick and relatively inexpensive but eventually the supports tear out of the wall.

 

Willow

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Willow,  that job does sound  a little fishy to me.  

My wife does  complain when I get something new to wear. Why didn't I get her something.  99% of the time she may wear it once. She  surprised me last week.  She bought me a nice flannel shirt.  Quote "not to manly not to feminine."  So I looked at the tag. Size 20 womans.  

 

 

Kymmie 

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CallMeKeira

Good morning all. Coffee is hot, apartment is cold, even with heat. My laundry is in a state of limbo, as I have so much men's clothing, a growing wardrobe of comfortable clothing, and no real solution for doing away with the old since I'm only part-time right now. I know what my heart tells me, to just take the men's clothes and just toss them out, because this girl has no desire to wear them. But, my brain goes "That's impractical, Keira. What if you need them?". It's something I'm going to bring up next therapy session, because I feel like I'm could between what is my true life, and a stage performance I've been playing on most circuit productions for 20-some theater seasons. It's vexing.

(A note of positive feedback, I am 6' 2", so I feel your pain on skirt and dress length.)

-warmest regards,

Keira ❤️

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@KymmieL boy that’s a bit of a conundrum.  As bad as she treats you then she does something kind.  I consider buying you a woman’s flannel shirt as an attempt to move towards acceptance.  A tiny step, but none the less, a step.

 

Like we’ve been talking about here this that morning, women’s clothes fit different.  Does it fit ok?  I’d take that as a win.

 

Willow
 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Audrey said:

 

 

@Bri2021 Your sister's home has probably has more square footage than *every* apartment in the six story building I'm living in!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

It's obscene and totally goes against my minimalist low environmental impact beliefs.  However, she worked her ass off with this company from when it was small and she was drilling core samples to running their government contracts division so she deserves her lifestyle. Plus, her husband was the first person in their family to go to college and he became a CPA and now is a comptroller of a mid sized biz so they are both living the American dream of hard work pays off.

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Heather Nicole

Mmmm...coffee...☕

 

Can't seem to get enough of it this morning. Can very much relate to the "ambrosia" description. Even if I were fully off caffeine, I would still need that first heavenly cup o' decaf to start the day off right.

 

I can relate to not understanding how people can take their coffee black. I was that way for a looong time. Heck, my introduction to coffee was as a kid, when I noticed "Hey, this coffee stuff is really good if you load it up with cream and sugar!" I don't know what happened though, but over the last decade my tastes drifted more and more away from "sweet". And then the thick creaminess became less and less appealing, too. Now, I can't take it any way other than black.

 

A house with obscene square footage sounds pretty nice to me! But then, I hail from the 80's and I'm unapologetically a natural born material girl :D (Still very pro-sustainability and environmentalism though.) Also, I feel couped up easily, so that could help stave off cabin fever!

 

Congrats to the gal with the new home laser on the way! Coincidentally, mine just arrived this week, and I just did my first session with it last night. I was kind of intimidated at first, but it turned out not to be so bad. The hardest part is knowing what parts you have and haven't already gone over, since the results aren't at all immediate. I don't know how mine compares to the pro lasers, but I found the discomfort to be entirely tolerable. Even at max setting it still hurts WAY less than plucking or waxing. Plus, psychologically, it's kinda nice to have that physical proof that "yup, finally taking care of this dreadful stuff once and for all!"

 

I loooove a lot of the sleeves on women's wear. In guy mode, I never go near long sleeves, even in the winter. Any time sleeves reach my wrists they always just feel so very "in the way". But the latest dress I got has 3/4 sleeves, and I absolutely love them. For the first time in my life, sleeves that don't bother me! I also love how women's short sleeves are often even shorter than men's short sleeves. Of course, my favorite is sleeveless. Never was much of a sleeves fan, at least until I discovered 3/4.

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I'm back on my original account! YEA to Petra for fixing the glitch.  Probably means my posts under the temporary profile will disappear when she deletes that account though.

My feeling on people that can't to coffee black is they are just drinking bad coffee.  Freshly roasted medium roast single origin beans.....ummmmm so good!  Starbucks and other places tends to burn their roasts and the beans are roasted in MASSIVE roasters which doesn't roast evenly so you get some that scorch and ruin the flavor.  Yes, I'm a coffee snob.  lol

 

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Heather Nicole

Minor bit of family news: My grandmother is 95 today! 🎂

 

These Polish women are human energizer bunnies, they just don't go down! Hoping I got some of those good genes!

 

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@Heather Nicole congratulations to your grandmother people from the time of and before seem to have better eating habits.  Less meat more vegetables things like that.

 

well this potential job/scam is being pretty persistent.  Hard to tell which.

 

I like at a minimum cap sleeves.  Lacy is especially good.

 

Willow

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@Heather Nicole Happy 95th to your grandmother! I love hearing happy news like this! I have Polish heritage too, on my mother's side.

 

@Willow I feel like their persistence in this case is probably not a good sign. Hoping they will take the hint and leave you alone at this point. About food - I think once companies started to heavily process and modify food with chemicals, things took a wrong turn. The rule here is, if you can't recognize an ingredient, you probably shouldn't eat it.

 

It's been a mellow Saturday around here, just what I needed. I managed to find a little ambition to give the kitchen a good cleaning, the fridge really needed it. Whenever I do this, it never fails to amaze me how I can accumulate so many bottles of salad dressing with like a half inch left in each one. And none of them were the same.

 

Hoping everyone is doing well, and have a wonderful evening!

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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9 hours ago, Willow said:

Like we’ve been talking about here this that morning, women’s clothes fit different.  Does it fit ok?  I’d take that as a win.

 

Willow

It fits great.

 

This is not the first ladies shirt she has purchased for me. She bought me a REO Speedwagon concert shirt, and a couple of ladies Harley T-shirts.

 

Kymmie

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@Audreyi agree this continues to look suspicious.  My response is arrange for me to go to the closest office and meet with someone.  If they can do that I’m wrong.  If they drop it now, we were right.  I figure the person talking to me, who was the first to make contact, gets paid based on good candidates they hire, IF it’s not a scam.  

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@Willow That's an excellent plan to defeat them if they were indeed scammers. Also - forgot to ask - how is your foot healing from the surgery the other day?

 

Love,

~Audrey.

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      I bet you’re excited! Congratulations! Even if there are some painful moments, you’ll get through it! I wish you all the best!
    • Kasumi63
      Hi, myt10,  Valfole, Kay-san, and everyone else on this thread!   I have a very loving relationship with my wife, but we have been struggling with this issue for about ten years now. I just had GCS (a week ago!), and we are very close to finding a pretty happy resolution. However, this has been a long road with lots of struggles along the way, so I hope those of you here can learn from my experience, just as I can surely learn from you.   Without going into too much history, just let me explain that my wife is Japanese and we communicate in the Japanese language. We’ve been married for about twelve years, and for most of this time, I have been struggling with dysphoria and my gender identity. For a couple of years, I kept this hidden—not meaning to deceive but simply because I was struggling to make sense of everything myself. Eventually, however, it became more obvious to her what was going on—and she basically hit the roof. She used to barrage me with questions, and ultimatums, asking about my sexual orientation, gender, motivations, etc. And whenever she did, I completely shut down. I know I am fault here, too, but I simply could not share my deepest, mixed up feelings, knowing that it would mean the end of our relationship. Partly, it was because I honestly couldn’t answer all her blunt questions in the direct way she wanted; partly, it was because I was terrified of being rejected, especially knowing that I would not survive being abandoned, and also because I am extremely fond of her. Sometimes, months would go by and we’d be as happy as can be, and then something would set her off, and she would start lecturing me for hours (and I do mean hours) while I would just listen passively in silence. To be fair, from her perspective, she was struggling to communicate and just wanted answers. But from my perspective, I didn’t feel safe, confident, or secure enough to reply. On those rare occasions when I did reply, the result was more questions that would confuse me even more, leading to another shut down. Sometimes, I would try to stop dressing or transitioning for our relationship, but those efforts would never last long. Basically, she wanted me to choose between transitioning and her, and that was an impossible choice for me, so I kept wavering back and forth. There is no way I will abandon her, but I also can’t stop being my female self.   I think here I need to pause and comment about our sexual relationship. I know this is a difficult subject for everyone—and there is a ton of diverse here—but it’s obviously important for couples, if they want to clarify their relationship. As for me, I’m almost as confused on this topic as I have been about my sexual identity and orientation. Basically, when I was a man, I felt exclusively attracted to women, but what has become very clear to me over many years is that that attraction was more of an identifying with than an attraction to in the normal sense of the word. In other words, I’ve wanted to look and be like the women I’ve been with, if that makes any sense. On the other hand, whenever I was dressed as a woman, I mainly felt attracted to men and nothing excited me more than having a man be attracted to me. These were the times that I most felt like myself. For about ten years now, we haven’t had a sexual relationship at all.   And yet we love each other. Apart from this issue, we get along great. We share many of the same interests, thoroughly enjoy being with other, travel together, etc. I guess you can say we are the closest of friends. Still, there has been this gender issue, and as I’ve very slowly proceeded with my transition, the issue has become more and more difficult to ignore. And then everything came to a head when I started taking hormones—and she found them. Of course, she initially got upset, but I think something broke for her, too, and she started researching and reading up on transgender issues. At the same time, she also made up her mind to support me, instead of resisting. This in turn made it easier for me to open up, and I have gained even more respect for her. The past couple of years we have been moving forward more positively. Last year, I came out to my place of work, and last week I had GCS. I have my own apartment, but spend weekends and other times here with her. We also chat online everyday without fail. I may move back in with her in the future, but I don’t know.    I suppose another important issue in this that many people don’t like to talk about is finances, but this also has a huge impact on relationships. Luckily, I have been blessed with a great job that pays well. My wife has a decent job, but probably not enough to live where we live now. Anyway, I am determined to take care of her to the end, and she has made up her mind to be emotionally supportive and friends with me.   We will probably be getting divorced soon, maybe even this month. If you’ve read this far, you might be surprised to hear that, and I think most people think of divorce as an absolute end, but I don’t, and I don’t think my wife does either. However, this will be a big change. Obviously, she won’t be able to think of me as her husband any more (that’s been slowly changing anyway), and I won’t be able to think of her as my wife. A big reason for our decision (and it’s a negative one) is Japanese law. Here in Japan, same-sex marriage is illegal; consequently, it’s illegal to change one’s gender while being married. In other words, for me to legally become female, we have to get divorced. (I acquired Japanese citizenship many years ago.)   So what will the future bring for us? I honestly don’t know. We’re both in our fifties, and nearing retirement, and we’re both pretty down on the idea of marrying again. However, she might find someone and fall in love, and I might, too. Personally, I would love to have a boyfriend, but I don’t know if I can make any commitments. My wife seems to be the same way. Of course, I want her to be happy more than anything, and I deeply respect her for supporting me, even if it’s taken some time for her to get to this point. I will be moving to an apartment that’s very close by, and she will stay in our condo, and I do not doubt that we will stay as close friends.   Conclusions? Message of the story? I think there are many, but this has gotten way too long, so I’ll leave that for a follow up post. For now, I’ll just say that if you love and respect each other, you have nothing to fear moving foward.    
    • Aurora
      First off, I am getting really excited.  45 days and counting till April 21st for my GCS.   Then also, when I had my major surgery on my stomach area back in early 2009 for cancer.  I found that just holding a pillow over my stomach area really helped out with pain when I sneezed or cough.
    • Myles97
      Thank you so much for that!! ❤️
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