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KymmieL

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Jamie68
2 hours ago, 2beBreanna said:

For those who have worked with their companies or communities to get more inclusive environments...  I was just in a first meeting with my company about starting up a LBGTQ+ resource group.  I work for a larger place that has thousands of employees.  Anyways.. I am thinking about taking up a Chair position.  What was the experience  others have had with something like this.  Being newer to accepting myself would it be wise to put myself out there and be a large part of the community?  What would you all do?

Sounds awesome. Go for it. Nothing better than someone who knows the challenges to be a chairwoman. Nice that your company is progressive thinking.

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Holly Elizabeth

OMG @2beBreanna. That is an amazing chance to be on the ground floor of something that's going to help so many people in your company. I am so jealous of this chance for you.

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KathyLauren
3 hours ago, 2beBreanna said:

For those who have worked with their companies or communities to get more inclusive environments...  I was just in a first meeting with my company about starting up a LBGTQ+ resource group.  I work for a larger place that has thousands of employees.  Anyways.. I am thinking about taking up a Chair position.  What was the experience  others have had with something like this.  Being newer to accepting myself would it be wise to put myself out there and be a large part of the community?  What would you all do?

 

Go for it!  Putting yourself out there is scary, I know, but it is one of the best ways to gain acceptance.

 

It's not quite the same situation, but, back when I had been out for less than a month, I realized that I had already committed to doing a public presentation for the local astronomy association.  After some nervous emails to the coordinator, I went ahead and did it.  I am so glad I did.  Everyone in the group now knows that I am trans, but they don't care, because they also know that I know my stuff.  Getting rid of the elephant in the room is liberating and empowering.

 

It sounds like your company is on board with the resource group.  By chairing it, you have the opportunity to get in on the ground floor and make sure that it is inclusive and pro-active.  You have got this!

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2beBreanna

Thanks for the input..  I put in the application for 2 chair positions.  Hopefully I will get one of them.  Even if not I will be a member of this group.  This will help a lot of people.  The meeting had 75 people involved.

I also threw in for a promotion.  If I get that then moving up or around will be easier.

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Holly Elizabeth

@2beBreanna OMG! If I don't lose some weight soon, I'm going to generally need 2 chair positions. I hate this damn civid!

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2beBreanna
1 hour ago, HollyNoel said:

@2beBreanna OMG! If I don't lose some weight soon, I'm going to generally need 2 chair positions. I hate this damn civid!

Lol.. warmer weather is on the way.  Enjoy it before it becomes too hot to handle.  Try not to let the covid 20 stick around.  Stay healthy= stay happy.

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Jamie68

Here in Illinois, the Geese and Robins are back. Spring is on it's way.

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SheenaT
1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

Here in Illinois, the Geese and Robins are back. Spring is on it's way.

😁

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KymmieL

Here it too was a beautiful day.  Abeit a little windy. That is WY. For ya. Right now I am so fried out it isn't  funny. I need a months  vacation. All the bs is getting to me. I know I shouldn't let it. But it does. I so want to make like a shepherd and get the flock out.

 

Am I crazy for wanting my own store. IDK. 

 

Kymmie 

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Heather Nicole
On 3/1/2021 at 10:44 AM, Jackie C. said:

 

Oh, you know what you need to do sweetie.

 

Stephanie Brown 💖🎄 Artist on Patreon 👻 on Twitter | Tiefling female,  Fantasy character design, Character portraits

Ha ha! @Jackie C. always has the best images for the occasion! 😆

 

Speaking of, here's my all-time favorite image: (Found this on reddit. I might actually use this coming out to certain people...)xclec91jxua61.jpg.d5f7b8dd1a9c76a77ce3b7962d75e0f9.jpg

 

But, so yea, I've pretty much already decided that for both that polish set, and for the metallic version of the set, "It will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine." (Guess the movie reference! Win unredeemable bragging points!) But I'm holding off on it though juuust for the breif moment, mainly just because I already have this still-unopened little sweetie pie in my posession who's already been begging for my attention the last three weeks:

 

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B083LCL9T6?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title&th=1

 

Once she's been appeased, my hunger for...*cough*...I mean, My color collection will grow... ;)

 

 

 

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Jamie68
3 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

Ha ha! @Jackie C. always has the best images for the occasion! 😆

 

Speaking of, here's my all-time favorite image: (Found this on reddit. I might actually use this coming out to certain people...)xclec91jxua61.jpg.d5f7b8dd1a9c76a77ce3b7962d75e0f9.jpg

 

But, so yea, I've pretty much already decided that for both that polish set, and for the metallic version of the set, "It will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine." (Guess the movie reference! Win unredeemable bragging points!) But I'm holding off on it though juuust for the breif moment, mainly just because I already have this still-unopened little sweetie pie in my posession who's already been begging for my attention the last three weeks:

 

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B083LCL9T6?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title&th=1

 

Once she's been appeased, my hunger for...*cough*...I mean, My color collection will grow... ;)

 

 

 

Yeah, I love both of these images. Pretty nail polish also. I haven't done my fingernails yet. Soon though. I stopped at a second hand clothing store yesterday. I instantly got overwhelmed. I haven't a clue how to put together an outfit, or even what sizes to buy. I wear XL "T" shirts ant 43W x 30L jeans. So many options in women's clothes. Seems like all the clothing stores display nice slim young models. It's like learning a whole new language. My wife isn't well enough right now to help me. Then there's the hair. I'm trying to let it grow out so I can style and dye it. Grows so slow at my age. I'm using a hair growth conditioner to regrow the bald areas. It's even slower. Being a woman isn't as easy as I thought all my life. This is going to be interesting, and it's long overdue. 

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Jackie C.
1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

I wear XL "T" shirts ant 43W x 30L jeans.

 

Check size charts. Women's sizes are both nonsensical and vary wildly between brands. You're going to need to experiment a bit because of your shoulders/hips and figure out what looks good on you. Have fun!

 

Hugs!

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Jamie68
2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Check size charts. Women's sizes are both nonsensical and vary wildly between brands. You're going to need to experiment a bit because of your shoulders/hips and figure out what looks good on you. Have fun!

 

Hugs!

Thanks 

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Bri2020

Really rough day yesterday. Got misgendered a few times and then came elecrolysis.  I'm having my upper lip concentrated on so I go to my Dr for some injections to numb things first.  It's been challenging to get it numb enough to work on.  This time she decided to go from inside the lip AND outside.  It was like she was in a race and the internal ones had me almost out of the chair. When she went to do the ones right under my nose from the outside I literally screamed. She got 3 into me before I begged her to stop.  I left there crying and thinking I can't do this anymore.  When I got to the electrolysis appointment I was just frazled and traumatized. She started working around to see what areas were numb enough and that was miserable as well. I just didn't have the emotional staminia at that point.  She did finally figure out where she could work and the next 75 minutes went OK with just minor pain most of the time and a few gotcha moments with tears.  I woke up this morning just spent.

I was planning on getting my passport photo this week but that is going to have to wait based on how swollen I am this morning.  I get to repeat this in 3 weeks 😣

DBFC5B24-7A95-4753-AEDB-2F4CE4ED95A9.jpeg

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KathyLauren

Yikes, @Bri2020, that looks pretty rough!

 

I don't know what it is with doctors/dentists and numbing shots.  I had to go to a dental surgeon to get a tooth removed.  The extraction itself was painless, but the shots to get it numb put me flat on the ceiling! 

 

My own dentist, however, does a beautiful job of freezing.  I had her number my upper lip quite a few times earlier in my electrolysis journey.  She would do about a dozen shots, and I barely felt the first one or two.

 

The good news is that it gets easier.  My electrologist is still working on my upper lip, but a little bit of Emla does the job these days.

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Bri2020
1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

Yikes, @Bri2020, that looks pretty rough!

 

I don't know what it is with doctors/dentists and numbing shots.  I had to go to a dental surgeon to get a tooth removed.  The extraction itself was painless, but the shots to get it numb put me flat on the ceiling! 

 

My own dentist, however, does a beautiful job of freezing.  I had her number my upper lip quite a few times earlier in my electrolysis journey.  She would do about a dozen shots, and I barely felt the first one or two.

 

The good news is that it gets easier.  My electrologist is still working on my upper lip, but a little bit of Emla does the job these days.

She did say second and third regrowth phases might be easier but my viking grade red beard is so dense and red heads hair shafts are so thick and deep that it requires much more electricity than other hair types.  I love my red hair on my head but detest this challenge of it.  Red heads are geneticaly resistant to numbing agents/anesthesia which makes it even more challenging.  A dentist would probably be better but due to the afore mentioned redhead issues I was so traumatized by dentists growing up who failed to numb me that I have severe dental anxiety.  Honestly at this point I'm getting PTSD from this process and start getting anxiety a few days before these mega lip sessions.

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Bri2020
1 hour ago, Bri2020 said:

She did say second and third regrowth phases might be easier but my viking grade red beard is so dense and red heads hair shafts are so thick and deep that it requires much more electricity than other hair types.  

Here's a before shot of the goatee I used to sport and you can see how "bristly" the hair shafts are. My wife used to say it was like kissing a scotch scouring pad. lol. 

E9BB347B-D6B2-48AC-939C-25985B3ECF72_1_105_c.jpeg

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10 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

Speaking of, here's my all-time favorite image: (Found this on reddit. I might actually use this coming out to certain people...)xclec91jxua61.jpg.d5f7b8dd1a9c76a77ce3b7962d75e0f9.jpg

Love it

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AgnesBardsie

Finally sitting down with a cup of coffee after my Toastmasters meeting. Gave a speech on the Equality Bill. From the persuasive influence path. Level 4, Managing a Difficult Audience. Three people were preselected to interrupt the speech with challenging questions and the evaluation was based on how well I handled the questions. Side comments were all very positive regarding the message itself which I found to be very encouraging. The club is called Professionally Speaking and is geared to business professionals. I got a lot of my inspiration from comments on this forum, including the Equality Act, Intersex, 

 

Once upon a time everything was black and white. In kindergarten, day one, lesson one: Two pictures. Same / Different. Computers were invented. Binary Logic. True/False. On/Off. Zero/One. Once upon a time everything was black and white. How do you tell the good guys from the bad? The good guys wear a white hat.

 

Things get complicated in the business world. The business world reflects society. What do they teach you when things get messy? KISS. Keep it Simple Stupid. Black hat vs white hat. True/False. Same/Different. There’s some wisdom in this philosophy. The first S stands for simplify. Not a bad strategy if you want to get to a decision faster. The second S stands for Stupid!

 

Once upon a time they said “Boys will be boys.” Or “He’s all boy”. Or “Are you a member of the old boys club?” When they grew up they said “This will separate the men from the boys.” Or “A woman’s place is in the kitchen.” Who installed that glass ceiling anyway? Binary Logic. Kindergarten 101. KISS. Nice Neat Little Boxes.

 

Once upon a time when a baby was born, the doctor took a peek and declared “It’s a boy!” Hearts beat faster because boys were more valuable to society. But as he grows up, will he be “All Boy?” Doesn’t that imply that not all boys are “all boy”?

 

Once upon a time a quick peek determined your future. School, Toys, Clothes, Friends, Activities, Expectations, Career, Destiny. A quick peek. XX or XY? But not all boys are all boy, and not all XXs are XXs. Some are XXX. Some are XXY. Some are XYY. And many other combinations. Intersex doesn’t fit the binary mold. Sexual wiring including hormone levels, and brain wiring, takes place as the baby is knit in the mother’s womb.

Once upon a time, a son’s father determined how far up the ladder he would climb, or whether he would climb at all. Binary Logic. Are you related? True/False. And sometime there were terrible consequences. Gross Incompetence. Or missed opportunities. Then someone invented the personality test. Briggs-Meyer. 16 nice neat little boxes. At least there were more to choose from, even if no one fit neatly into them. In fact studies show that depending on the situation you can fit into different boxes.

 

The work force is adapting. To stay competitive, to hire the best, to produce the highest quality goods, to maximize profit, the workforce is adapting.

That brings me to today. HR5. The Equality Act is making its way through the halls of Congress. You may have heard of it. You may have an opinion. It provides greater protection from discrimination for sexual orientation and gender identity. A growing number of companies and professions support the Equality Act and they operate in every state and represent trillions in market value.

 

Once upon a time there was Black and White, Male and Female, Right and Wrong. But we know there are many shades of gray and brown between Black and White. There are degrees of guilt in the criminal code. First degree murder. Third degree manslaughter. And there are degrees of sexuality from “all boy” to MTF surgery to correct gender dysphoria and suicidal ideation. Did you know that over 40 percent of transgenders have attempted suicide?

 

The times they are a changing as Bob Dylan once said. Once upon a time we made progress with race relations and women’s rights. And it was good for business. Toastmasters did not allow women to be members at one time. Some segments of society resisted and still resist today. However, as a business professional, as Mark said in the Thought of the Day, challenge your thinking, your apologia, your defense of your opinions, and ask yourself if a compassionate society can afford to discriminate against those who don’t fit into nice, neat little boxes.

 

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Elizabeth Star

My wife has an appointment today for her PAH so I took the day off to drive her. After I got dressed she asked if I had a looser shirt. I just had to ask her what the problem was with what I had on. I’m a girl, have boobs, can’t really hide them anymore not that I would want to. Her concern is that the Dr. met me when I was someone else. After a moment (for no apparent) she said I could wear one of her tops and hands me her camouflage Mickey mouse hoodie. Didn’t say anything about the dusty rose skinny jeans or knee high boots I wearing. Just my top. I don’t even know how to understand this. All I hear in my head is “that slightly feminine top shows too much boob.  Wear this undeniably feminine one instead.”

 

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AgnesBardsie
22 hours ago, 2beBreanna said:

Thanks for the input..  I put in the application for 2 chair positions.  Hopefully I will get one of them.  Even if not I will be a member of this group.  This will help a lot of people.  The meeting had 75 people involved.

I also threw in for a promotion.  If I get that then moving up or around will be easier.

I have found that now I'm no longer "in hiding" from myself I get more nods of approval. Can't quite be sure, but it's as if a lot of other people are also in hiding from themselves and recognize the courage it takes to step up, and step out. I applaud your new found courage to throw in for a promotion! What have you got to lose! 

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On 3/2/2021 at 8:07 AM, SheenaT said:

I love to fish. I used to tie my own flies too

 

On 3/2/2021 at 8:47 AM, Bri2020 said:

Holy goddess I can't imagine being on a river in winter! 

SheenaT, the hobby of tying flies is perfect alone time for me. This fishing trip was in mostly guy mode, with a lot more color and flair. There were a couple of remarks made, and my son who knows about Mindy, did a quick head swing to see how I was going to handle the comments. I replied that my choice of Rain Gear and UV Sun blocking hoodies are the new me. DEAL WITH IT! 

 

🎣🎣🎣🎣🎣 Daily limit everyday.🕵🏻‍♀️

 

Bri2020, the water temperature is a constant 55°F in the river, and our air temperatures ranged from the high 30°s in the morning to the 70°s in the afternoon. Most of our fishing was done in long john-boats so staying warm and dry was easy.

 

Since this is a Father-Son guys only fishing trip, I may only get to squeeze in one more trip before I'm out to everyone and presenting full time as the woman I'm suppose to be. I'm cool with that and really looking forward to it.

 

Coffee HOT, black, and strong.:coffee:

 

Hug,

 

Mindy🐛🌈🦋 

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AgnesBardsie
2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I don’t even know how to understand this. All I hear in my head is “that slightly feminine top shows too much boob.  Wear this undeniably feminine one instead.”

Jealousy?!

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Jackie C.
7 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

I woke up this morning just spent.

I was planning on getting my passport photo this week but that is going to have to wait based on how swollen I am this morning.  I get to repeat this in 3 weeks 😣

 

Yikes, that looks painful. Can you put aloe on it or something? That skin needs some TLC. As a fellow redhead (I used to be a lovely chestnut auburn), I sympathize and wish you relief and hopefully less pain in the future. Numbing agents hit me like that too. It feels like they're burning down to my soul.

 

4 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Wear this undeniably feminine one instead.”

 

Could have been worse. I wore a pink top that says, "Majestically lesbian" on it with a fabulous pink unicorn today. I then put a checkered, oversized shirt over the top of it, just in case there were any doubts. With the rose-colored sunglasses, I think I was trending towards peak lesbian.

 

I think I understand where your wife is coming from, she doesn't want to deal with the questions from her doctor. Of course, I've found the medical profession to be incredibly cool with my trans-ness. They just accept it, make a note, then move on. It can be hard for our SOs to understand that while it might have been a shock for them, most people outside our immediate circles really don't care.

Hopefully your spouse will calm down a little once she realizes that honestly, nobody cares the she's with a woman or that the woman used to be her "husband" the last time you met.

 

Hugs!

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Elizabeth Star
8 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Could have been worse. I wore a pink top that says, "Majestically lesbian" on it with a fabulous pink unicorn today. I then put a checkered, oversized shirt over the top of it, just in case there were any doubts. With the rose-colored sunglasses, I think I was trending towards peak lesbian.

Sounds like a must-have outfit.

 

 

And the saga continues....Now I'm home and have a full keyboard.


Another short story by Elizabeth Star.


When we reached the doctor's office our first stop was the receptionist station. She asked which of us the appointment was for. My wife immediately spoke up that it was for her. The young woman explained that only patients are allowed in the waiting room. My wife then asked her this would how work, my husband (motioning to me) needs to be with me, what is he supposed to do. The lady replied..and love this. She can wait downstairs or out in the hall, you can call her when the doctor says it's OK for her to come in. I just stood there in disbelief. Did this other woman properly gender me in front of my wife? Wife tries again. What's he supposed to do? Again she replies with She can..... This seriously just happened? Baha-ha-ha-ha!
This went on for another minute. No matter what my wife said this receptionist was NOT going to call me he/him. I went and waited in the hall...like a good girl.

 

Out in the hallway I was able to beat the rush and get one of the only two seats. After about 30 minutes I had to pee and there was probably a dozen people standing in the hall. I stood up and took a quick glance out the window while debating if I should risk getting clocked trying to use the ladies room on this floor or find another. We're on the 19th floor so the view is kinda cool. The I noticed a couple of "Cows on parade" statues on one of the roof-tops. Just as I take my phone out to take a picture I hear someone say "no, I think she's still sitting there". I turn around to see who this fabulous person is that called me she and saw a little old woman standing there. After that I had no problems giving up my seat or using the ladies room on that floor.

 

A few minutes later I got a call from my wife. The Dr. Ok'ed me coming in back and they were sending someone to get me. As I'm hanging out by the door a nurse comes outs and wanders for moment, finds her way to me, looks at me an says, Liz?   Yea, that's me. -what the heck- just happened? My wife has promised to forever dead-name me. No one there except the doctor knows my name and I doubt he remembers it. So she had to of told them to look for Liz. Right? Later after the appointment she asked if I had noticed the name they used when looking for me. So she did tell them.  Of course I noticed. It seems something else has changed.

 

 

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      I was never an alpha male either.  A couple things stopped me from transitioning. Mostly fear and shame. Fear of what people would do to me when they found out, and shame of failing as a man and not living up to others' expectations. Also, I had started losing my hair at some point in my 20s and then I was just like "oh, this is it then, there is no way I can do this." So, another main thing holding me back was lack of knowledge. As far as I knew, "transsexuals" were these weird people that got their stuff removed. Nobody even knew one. I didn't even know about ftm. I didn't know about good wigs even or hormone therapy. It was just me all alone, trying to figure out how to look like a girl, failing at it, and then sadly giving up. I didn't have the words or ability to express what was going on with me. I just knew I wanted to look like a girl, and for a while I tried to make myself look like the very feminine male characters from some video games, especially Dynasty Warriors. I really started experimenting more after coming out to family and some close friends as bi, I tried on a dress and heels for the first time with some friends and just loved it. But then the dark thoughts and fear started crowding in again and I felt what I was doing was ridiculous and wrong, so I quit. It would resurface many times over the years, especially if I got drunk or there was another guy around that I liked. November 2019, a year after my divorce, is when I got a very strong urge to pursue this again - I decided to do it right, I did the research, learned quite a lot, and made the decision to be the real me.
    • AwesomeClaire
      I hadn't had a Facebook account in over a decade. But, my friends in my gaming group were using Facebook groups and I felt I was missing out. A few months into my transition I had decided on Claire, so I started up an FB account. Part of this was intentional. I spent a lot of time and energy talking to my closest friends, family, and coworkers about my transition, explaining why I was doing it, my history, etc. So, rather than surprise more people and have to explain a bunch of stuff, I just put myself out there on FB and let people react as they may. I got an overwhelming amount of support, and it just felt good to get it out of the way and have everyone know about it. 
    • Teri Anne
      You look fab in polka dots Linda Marie. You always look so put together.
    • Willow
      Trying this again, the worry is alway lack of acceptance but it’s never as bad as you imagine.  My wife was my worst and she has given her concerns to God.  We are doing a whole lot better.   Purses, I don’t carry all that in my purse, but I will say after carrying one, I don’t understand why the MURSE never caught on.  I wear glasses in case you hadn’t noticed so a glasses case with my prescription sun glasses, or vice versa, lipstick, hair brush, keys, phone, a compact, I try to carry tissues but use them and don’t think to replace them, a face mask, and my wallet.  It matches the purse.  My wife makes purses and matching wallets out of different materials.  The one I’ve been using is cork.  But she makes quilted, foleather, and others and she usually manages a matching wallet. Sometime my wife and I want the same one and have to share.  Ok, I give in to her most of the time but I have a couple she made specifically for me.
    • Niamh
      While I fully understand that some of us may wish to limit who we "come out" to, I was getting frustrated that I had to work out everytime I posted on facebook who knew what. So on 31 March (transgender day of visibility) I decided to post my transgender status to all those who I had not up to that point informed.  I had feared a bit of a backlash from some of the right-wing family members who were my fb friends, but in fact all the responses I had to my post were entirely positive. One of my fb friends obviously decided to unfriend me (I had made a note of how many fb friends I had before the post), but as I've been unable to work out who that person was - it's clearly no big deal.  But the big plus is that I now know that I don't have to tiptoe around what I post in FB. I have maintained two separate FB identities as I am genderfluid, and I'll post appropriate updates in my male and female FB pages accordingly. I did however invite my male FB friends to "friend" Niamh if they wished and a significant number did.   So I fully understand your desire to not have to hide your identity from anyone - it lifts a big weight from your shoulders and I hope that going forward that your family accept how you are even if they are not supportive.
    • Willow
      Most recent first, Yes I agree the more you manage to come out and (ok why can’t I turn this back off?) are accepted, the better you feel.  
    • Linda Marie
      Oh dear, that horrible depression. I battled that for 3 years. It blindsided me, came from no where. I had everything going for me then that hit. I did kind of what Jackie said, I started talking to it, silly I suppose, but it worked after a long battle. I did set up my camera and was ready for my last day, that was when I woke up and went to battle. I have 5 purses, I love my purses, just to lazy at times to empty then and change purses, lol. Ginger my cat was a feral cat that showed up in my basement a few years ago. I fed her, then trapped her and took her to the vet's and had her spaded, and all her shots, I even put a cat door and food bench in my basement for her and her son, Fuzzy, trapped him also and shots and fixed. They both have been with me now for a few years.  
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