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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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I just have a pretty much hands on approach to dishes.  Perhaps that's why I grill out, and am a fan of one-pot meals.

 

Spent some time going through a pile of camping gear today.  Since I'm by myself I don't need the half of it.  And I've essentially given up on the back-packing aspect of it.  Drive-in campsites have a lot going for them.  There are neighbors, but if you go midweek, there are a lot fewer.  One thing our family still does is meet up at a campground and enjoy each other's company.  Last year was a washout, but things are starting to look better this year.  Got one planned in a few weeks.

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Yes it was a bad day. 

But I got it done with out ruining my Linda clothes. So I thought I'd share my aggravation

with a Hendrix tune. Gosh I hate living two life's.

LM♥️

  

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As far as pain, upper lip electrolysis is panful, very painful. Especially right under the nose.

Wait until under the eyes, makes the lip feel like kid stuff. Oh and right around the ears...gasp.....

I never used drugs for my electrolysis, I quit drugs over 22 years ago. Yes, I was bad back then.

LM, coming out on the truth about my past life.

❤️

Take care, and be who you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LM l 2011~12 Ally Girl (One never knows who is lurking in the Allies).jpg

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With the weather changing I've been super busy trying get things done around the house.  And I've also been spreading the love around on a couple of FB trans pages. It's really concerning how many lost souls are out there so if my experiences can help, I'm happy to talk.

 

Been feeling pretty settled into life as Liz and in a way forgetting who I was raised to be. Although I haven't forgotten my past it's just not as painful as it once was.  Still have some concerns about seeing my extended family this summer but I'm more worried about being treat like some circus show novilty. I know I can leave early if need be.

 

My wife and I are talking and getting along a lot better, finally. I realized I was living in fear, fear of her reactions. It was justified due to her initial reaction to things. I quit, I guess Hiding, my words. For example tonight we had a guy for an estimate for replacing our fence. She asked if I would wear a sweatshirt instead of the semi-tight top I wore to work.  I told her I would but I world just look more like a lesbian  and she was OK with it. There've been more but that's the most prominent. She willingly did my laundry today, which I was a little terrified. When I got home she took the time to show me where she had put certain things. I would have never thought we would be here. The day where she matched bright colored socks and folded my panties but it happened, without attitude or anything. Just a normal day. I am truly blessed and proud to have her. Things have come a long way in my little corner.

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@KathyLauren Interestingly enough I managed to get Shingles in junior high. I think I was in the 8th grade. Maybe it's because I'm an old soul... ?
@Linda Marie Hope your recovery goes smoothly and pain is eased very soon. 
@Elizabeth Star  I can definitely understand the feeling of being busy, as well as everything else you stated.. It's hard work recognizing and defeating fear, but so very worth it.  You might know this already but, since it helps hearing it sometimes, "you're doing very well."
@Bri2020 Thanks for using the tag, and appreciating my post.  Thanks to that, I feel a little more knowledgable about how to get myself around on this forum.  It's been so long since I tried to be an active member of a forum that I completely forgot how to flow on such an open space.  Truth be told I never understood the net back when I was a kid and I was trying to understand how to be social, but I'm finally understanding all of those things, and this is one moment that has contributed to my life. Thank you as well. 

And so... it's a new day already..!  I didn't sleep a whole lot, but I've got to get busy.  I'm pushing myself through this.  I've been trying to use positive affirmations and healing frequencies as well as binaural beats to help stabilize my mood.

I'm so proud of myself in many ways for what I'm being and doing.  I just really need it to pan out soon... I had left my job in January, and since then I've just been doing nothing but constant self-work, with 3-4 major breakthroughs a week.  The energy lately has been very intense on everyone... I'm proud of all of us for facing each day head on. 

I'm gonna go ahead on and get my coffee cup!  What happened yesterday is done... And it's a new day!!

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I do at least 75% of the routine laundry, I'd say, but do relate to the idea that it becomes 'something' for us.

 

Mrs recently said she's doing a load, anything to add? and I felt hesitant to throw in certain items, and said so, and she said "What's the big deal?"  Um, the big deal is that I'm not feeling totally welcome to wear them?

 

And just as the need to wear proper clothing is increasing, we're both vaccinated, it's getting warmer, so more people are popping up near and in the house, so have to worry about who's in the know and who isn't . 

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Good Morning everyone!

 

@Elizabeth Star That is amazing you are feeling better and are able to give back to the communities. My wife and I haven’t figured out what we are going to do this year in general with seeing extended family ourselves to be honest, so I get that it is rough. That’s good you and you and your wife are able to get along better with each other.

 

So, I talked to HR again yesterday as a follow-up to my initial coming out. It sounds like there won’t be much that we can do in the systems possibly until my legal name change is done. I kind of feel like what’s the point in moving forward, but then I remember that maybe they can do something with the email because there are people who go by shortened names or other names in the organization. Also, maybe the sooner I share my truth, the better I will feel in general.

 

I did finally get a hearing date set for the name change, June 8th. It isn’t too far away, but kind of feels like forever away at the same time. I think I am going to plan to take the whole day off and celebrate when it is done. I know there will be lots of work that comes after it, but that is okay in the end because I will at least have the court decree saying {dead name} is now Amber!

 

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Congratulations Amber for setting the date for legal name change!

 

Good morning.

Coffee mug drained.

Taking on my day tasks, planning and working my life of changes.  Everyday is a do-over.

It's great!

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2 hours ago, AmberM said:

It sounds like there won’t be much that we can do in the systems possibly until my legal name change is done.

 

That's pretty common because it's a tax thing. I've talked to a couple of different organizations about it. My favorite is that my deadname continues to be my file ID for my endo largely because she can't change it and she's like 100 degrees removed from the person who can. The other one is a banking thing and it straight-up cannot be changed so long as I have an account with that institution (we'll be parting company in November once our business is complete).

 

IT should be able to change-up your e-mail on the mail sever though. That's just a couple of keystrokes.

 

Hugs!

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@Jackie C. Yeah I am talking to my boss to see what they can do in Active Directory. I know all the other systems are linked to the HR system as the Source of truth, so that will be interesting. I am not well versed in our active directory right now (maybe with some time I will have to for some reason :P).

 

On my second cup of coffee.

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Good morning everyone 

 

Today I get my throat scoped again.  It’s been four years since my laryngeal cancer.  And one since I was last scoped.  I have to admit I am a bit concerned concerned.  My voice has been very raspy again worse than I remember it.

 

@KymmieLyou should come south.  We are getting a cold front today.  The temperature is dropping to 70.  60s overnight.  Fortunately the ocean moderates our temperature.

 

hugs

 

Willow

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@AmberM I’m sorry to hear HR can’t get things updated for you but my feels on it are if there’s anyone there who is not using their full legal name then they should be able to. I work for a security alarm company, we’re pretty by-the-book with procedures. Full FBI background checks and fingerprints. They were able to change mine  in all the systems, except payroll under the premise “name of common usage”. 

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12 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Been feeling pretty settled into life as Liz and in a way forgetting who I was raised to be. Although I haven't forgotten my past it's just not as painful as it once was. 

I get this.  I don't really think about my old self much.  I mean he's there, but it's kinda another place, another time.

 

5 hours ago, RhondaS said:

I do at least 75% of the routine laundry, I'd say, but do relate to the idea that it becomes 'something' for us.

Heh heh.   I don't have a washer so have to do all my laundry (except hand stuff) at the laundromat.  When I was just starting to wear fem clothes I was so nervous about doing my washing in public.  But slowly it's been getting better.  The attendant actually correctly gendered me there.  Nobody has ever hassled me.  I think sometimes I worry too much.

 

7 hours ago, Britany_Relia said:

Truth be told I never understood the net back when I was a kid

LOL.  There wasn't such a thing when I was a kid.  I wouldn't touch it for years, but eventually had to.  With covid, it's a lifesaver.

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@Linda Marie I'm sorry to read of your bad day.  I can feel it in your playing that tune.  Feel better Dear. 

 

@Maddee Keep moving forward!  Your goals are within reach.

 

@Willow I hope you get a good result from the procedure.  

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12 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

I would have never thought we would be here. The day where she matched bright colored socks and folded my panties but it happened, without attitude or anything. Just a normal day. I am truly blessed and proud to have her. Things have come a long way in my little corner.

 

That is really good news, Liz. Normal is such a needed and good place to be. A lot less stressful, for starters.

 

Astrid

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Hello all - I usually don't check this thread because I haven't been here for a while and it is so hard keeping up with all of your lives. All in all I am so happy you come here and the interaction is so heartwarming and loving and for that I am grateful. 

Keep on sharing and loving - I may not respond often but I receive hope and comfort every time I come to this thread.

What a beautiful community.

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I am just toast today.  While my lip electrolysis was very productive, it just broke me.  The doctor ended up doing 20 injections including into the septum of the nose since I have beard hair even there.  The numbing lasted for about 75 minutes into the treatments but the last 15 were challenging.  Came home, had dinner then went to take a shower. I ended up on the floor of the shower crying for a half an hour before dragging myself to bed to continue for another hour of just sobbing.  I couldn't even understand why, but my psyche/body obviously needed it.  I think it was partly the trauma/demands of the treatment but also just a culmination of a tough emotional week vis a vis my transition.   I might have to take a month off of electrolysis treatments at this point.

@Linda Marie under the eyes and by the ears are def sensitive but my numbing cream works there pretty well.  It doesn't even touch the pain in the lip area- hence-injections.  

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13 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

Just a normal day. I am truly blessed and proud to have her. Things have come a long way in my little corner.

Yes they have! I'm so happy for you two and wish you both continued growth on the journey

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Suggestion for all who will be doing this in the future - if you can coordinate name change and gender marker update on your driver license, do it TOGETHER. 

Apparently, doing things separately still feeds it through "name change" selection and you will be there for a long time for them to figure out and still go through the same questions over and over.

On the bright side, have that little "F" show up is one awesome feeling ?

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good evening everyone.

 

It was a long day spent in Charleston SC.  As it turned out, it was a good day.

 

First, we got to the hospital early, but the they checked us in immediately, took my vitals practically before I was done checking in.  I had wanted to go to the ladies room but I never got a chance.  I was in the doctors office before my appointment time.

 

So, not to keep anyone hanging, when she scoped my throat then showed it to me, the results for my cancer is negative.  4 years clear!  one more and they consider me cured.

 

Now for the rest.  we talked about my larynx spasms, and a new course of action for treatments.  this one is not exactly the last resort but it isn't the easiest.  So, I have a pair of appointments in a few weeks with a speech therapist, then an appointment with the Doctor for a Botox shot in my hyoid.  If it shows signs of working then I will get one every 2 to 3 months.  Even the Doctor says she understands the need but admires her patients that can handle this.  

 

Hugs

 

Willow

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2 hours ago, Willow said:

First, we got to the hospital early, but the they checked us in immediately, took my vitals practically before I was done checking in.  I had wanted to go to the ladies room but I never got a chance.  I was in the doctors office before my appointment time.

 

So, not to keep anyone hanging, when she scoped my throat then showed it to me, the results for my cancer is negative.  4 years clear!  one more and they consider me cured.

 

CONGRATULATIONS Willow! That is great news!

 

Mike

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16 hours ago, Willow said:

@KymmieLyou should come south.  We are getting a cold front today.  The temperature is dropping to 70.  60s overnight.  Fortunately the ocean moderates our temperature.

 

hugs

 

Willow

Have you got my room ready, yet?

14 hours ago, ValerieRun said:

On the bright side, have that little "F" show up is one awesome feeling ?

Yes, it sure is having that 'F' on your license. Is a great feeling.

 

Got ma'am-ed at work today. which was great. another thing one of the new guys wife was in yesterday. When she left she said, Bye Guys and Kym. later she came back and we got started talking about pies, I said my favorite was apple. then today she came in she was mentioning that this weekend she might be baking the pies. A customer asked what kind, She motioned to me and said, She wants apple, one of the other guys wants peach and my husband wants cherry. It was fantastic being refereed to in the female way. I think being that her job is at the local at risk children's home. She may have to deal with transgender teenagers. 

 

Kymmie

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I failed to mention that every where I went today I was treated with respect, referred to as ma’am or Ladies if speaking to my wife and I.  I was asked my name at the check in but hesitated since my records say preferred name willow but that’s not my legal name. She quickly said I only need your last name taking me off the hook.  There are lots of good people out there.  
 

Willow

 

PS, can’t sleep for some reason.

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@Willow That is awesome news all around, congratulations on being cleared for another year. I am so glad that they treated you with respect and dignity.

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Congratulations Willow. That's all great news.

 

Wife and I are still talking about my transition and how it affects thing. It's been in small bits as needed kind of things. What fueled it this time was a trans FB friend that always gives loves on things I post. Thankfully, it was a short conversation once I explained, again, that I have no intention of leaving her.

 

On the way home from work I had to make a stop at out local beauty supply store. Wife needed lotion for her face and me something for my frizzed-out hair.  When checking out I went through the typical "are you a points member?" thing. She pulled up my number and all the information,  except my phone number, was out dated. I didn't have any issues or get any looks when I gave her the correct information but it kinda sucked I probably just outed myself and gave a complete stranger my name, address, phone number and email.  Over-all I'm not worried though. Now, the hair stuff I got is a 2 part protein mask. I used it last night and so far it seems to have done something. My hair is a lot softer and less frizzy this morning.

 

gotta get ready for work. Have great day everyone.

 

 

To be continued.....

 

 

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