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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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11 hours ago, Elizabeth Star said:

And pockets. 😁

No joke about "pockets". I just bought my first purse. Got tired of not having anywhere to put things.

Been wanting one for a long time. My wife was against it. Of course she likes what I picked out and wants one like it lol.

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11 hours ago, MetaLicious said:

Ultimately, it's a part of the cis-het male fantasy to watch two women making out (before the male "intervenes" to show them how it's done), whereas gays don't have any allowance for  heterosexual male to insert themselves without expressing any gayness themselves.

 

Like I said, fetishization. Also, it hadn't occurred to me that gayness increases logarithmically. So gayness can be expressed as TOTAL GAYNESS (TGAY) = GAY^(number of gay people (NumG) - number of straight people (NumS)). So my wife and I are gay squared where as if we added a third, we'd be gay cubed. Good to know.

 

8 hours ago, Willow said:

First you talk about male privilege like it’s this great thing.  And pockets.  Well, I’ve discovered purses.  I think Seinfeld was on to something with the murse. I find it handy.  And doctors will tell you, don’t sit on a wallet.  But most men do.  Then you wonder why your hip hurts.

 

A bigendered friend of mine, when I expressed my desire to transition, said, "But your privilege?!?" I prefer my purse to pockets, though the pants I get from Avenue have usable pockets in them. The wallet thing causes more back pain for me than hip pain, but yeah. Of course now my wallet is huge so it's not going in ANY of my pockets.

 

Though in all fairness, I still find two women together appealing. It took me a while to figure out that I wanted to be one of them, but I eventually got there.

 

Love the picture @AgnesBardsie!

 

Hugs!

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I love my purse.  It is just big enough to squeeze my Mac/air into it when I want.  But it's not too big for everyday stuff.  

 

Pockets are nice of course, but there is that sitting on it thing.  When I was still riding my bike (as a guy) that fat wallet and chain could get pretty damn uncomfortable after a few hours.  

 

Still, it is nice to at least have a place to slip in a cellphone, or perhaps some reading glasses.  Some of my favorite skirts have those neat pockets in the side seam.

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18 hours ago, Willow said:

Everyone has made good points here.  I agree that the combination of LGBTQI+ does confuse everyone.  I’m sure I’ll get chastised for this but I personally don’t think Lesbians have had it as hard as gays.  Just an opinion, I have no facts confirming or refuting that.  I believe Trans got on the band wagon because there aren’t enough of us willing to come out and fight so we attached to an existing group that was better known and started the fight for rights earlier.  I don’t know the rest of the alphabet to share any thoughts.  Clearly, transgender people have been around for many centuries just as all the others.  But we have been much slower to allow our selves to be known in the 20th and 21st centuries.  We help them so they will help us.

 

Willow

Well stated Willow,

 

Coffee was early, because I’m driving from Indy to Frederick, MD to teach at the Fire Academy Tuesday through Thursday. 
 

Best wishes, and positive energy,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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1 hour ago, Mmindy said:

Well stated Willow,

 

Coffee was early, because I’m driving from Indy to Frederick, MD to teach at the Fire Academy Tuesday through Thursday. 
 

Best wishes, and positive energy,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

That's just an hour away from me. Frederick is a cool town. They really revitalized the historic district there.

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On 8/1/2021 at 7:32 AM, Elizabeth Star said:

I would be so mad if I broke a nail working on this stuff.

Me....everytime it happens lol.... Just this Saturday I broke one trying to one grip the air fryer basket thing while scrubbing it, and it slipped and the pressure went all to my nails. Luckily it didn't break all the way to the bottom so was able to file it down and still have it be almost 1/4" long, visibly shorter than the others, but at least not just a finger nub.

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4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

A bigendered friend of mine, when I expressed my desire to transition, said, "But your privilege?!?" I prefer my purse to pockets, though the pants I get from Avenue have usable pockets in them. The wallet thing causes more back pain for me than hip pain, but yeah. Of course now my wallet is huge so it's not going in ANY of my pockets.

 

Not to discount the existance of male privledges, of course, but personally, I always felt weighed down and held back by maleless, like it's just one giant ball of social restrictions, and also causes people to view me with suspicion by default. Always hated all of that. Envied the heck out of girls for all of that, even with the bad things they're more likely to have to deal with. It's like, "Umm, I volunteer to trade places! Any takers? No?..."

 

I haven't found too much physical issues with wallet in the back pocket, but that's probably because I have an excess of built-in padding back there, 😋. But lately I've taken to keeping it in front pocket anyway. I figure it's harder to get pickpocketed that way.

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@Mmindy @Bri2020 actually I’m about an hour away from Frederick too.  And similarly about an hour from Reston.  I’m at my daughters house near Winchester va.

 

Bri a number of years ago we lived in Centreville. We would load the bikes up and ride the W&OD, or the C&O, the Curtis or Mount Vernon trails. Ive ridden. All except the C&O from beginning to end. I’m probably 30 miles short on the C&O western end.  That’s something we miss, all the bike trails we used to ride.

 

Willow

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3 hours ago, Willow said:

@Mmindy @Bri2020 actually I’m about an hour away from Frederick too.  And similarly about an hour from Reston.  I’m at my daughters house near Winchester va.

 

Bri a number of years ago we lived in Centreville. We would load the bikes up and ride the W&OD, or the C&O, the Curtis or Mount Vernon trails. Ive ridden. All except the C&O from beginning to end. I’m probably 30 miles short on the C&O western end.  That’s something we miss, all the bike trails we used to ride.

 

Willow

If y'all want to meet for coffee..........

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6 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

Not to discount the existance of male privledges, of course, but personally, I always felt weighed down and held back by maleless, like it's just one giant ball of social restrictions, and also causes people to view me with suspicion by default. Always hated all of that. Envied the heck out of girls for all of that, even with the bad things they're more likely to have to deal with. It's like, "Umm, I volunteer to trade places! Any takers? No?..."

 

That was kind of my thought when they brought it up. I was all, "My what now? I freaking HATE this." Of course they come from more privilege than I do, having grown up with things like a loving, supportive family and oodles of money. That led to a career path that they're proud of.

 

I can see where they wouldn't want to jeopardize that.

 

In the meantime, I've been in a depression spiral since my teens and have held what can, at best, be called a series of crap jobs I held while waiting for the much-anticipated touch of the grim reaper. I love them. We've been friends since middle-school, but our experiences, despite both of us being trans, have been very different.

 

Hugs!

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A nice sunrise for a few seconds...if they haven't been rainy they've been hazy for a long time due to the smoke from wildfires drifting across the country.

 

Wife finally went and talked to a therapist on Friday...Saturday I got a hug and was told "Sorry I've been in a bad mood...for a year". Don't know if that means the mood is over or continuing, but better than a cold shoulder. But it's still 'so sudden', as we are in month 14 of her knowing and year 59 of me knowing. 

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Good Morning everyone.  Another smoggy day for us. As I am sure for some of you all. My Thursday, had a great shopping experience at Sephora on Thursday.  Spend a little too much but well worth it. The consultant was fantastic, helped me with everything. I also found a Trans friendly salon here in Laramie. Just need to make a hair appointment.

 

Got Ma'am ed at work yesterday. what a great feeling. in the sea or sir, boss, brother. I feel like wearing the transgender pin with the pronouns She, Her, Her's. I know even if I did, people will still mis-gender me. I just need to practice my makeup skills, and my voice. As of yesterday the Company mandated masks again even with full vax. So, I may concentrate on my make up from my nose up, LOL

 

Have a great day.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

As of yesterday the Company mandated masks again even with full vax. So, I may concentrate on my make up from my nose up, LOL

 

Good plan, I don't even wear lipstick with my mask. It just smudges everywhere. Same with cheeks. Basically eyes or nothing.

 

Hugs!

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Good Morning

 

trying to ten finger type on my iPad keyboard case.  I just got it this week, mostly to protect it from being dropped.  I had been two finger typing because I was concerned my fat fingers would hit too many keys at the same time.  Actually not to bad.

 

@Jackie C. I think part of my part of my problem growing up was that i don’t recall ever being told “I love you”. My grandfather lived with us and he definitely showed me love.  I suppose my mother showed love but I dont recall her saying it.  My father pretty much ignored me.  There was male privilege in my house although I didn’t recognize it.  For example, my father was very old school.  My sister was expected to make her own way.  My father planned to pay for my college.  That lasted one year, I dropped out, joined the Air Force.  4 years later I went back to college  paying my own way.

 

But beyond that I would say it was there.  Growing up we were seen but not heard.  Left to our own.  

 

I can’t say I recognized depression until I was an adult but I was depressed.  Just tried to hide it. Eventually failed at that.

 

I’m told that stemmed from trying to hide this.  I do take antidepressants but I am much better now.

 

Well, 10 finger typing wasn’t too bad.  Certainly better than how i do on one of our laptops.  I’m always messing up because I hit the touch pad and it goes crazy.

 

time to get a move on.

 

Hugs

 

Willow

  

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You're not THAT much older than I am @Willow. You're the same age as my foster-mom (who is a year younger and WAY cooler than my bio-mom). On that topic, my foster-mom was actually upset to discover that my HRT regimen comes with risks. I had no idea that she didn't know.

 

So yeah, much the same. Distant dad. I heard "I love you" from my bio-mom occasionally, but she didn't actually show it. Not sure if I ever heard it from my grandparents, but they showed it to me often enough. No siblings. My parents "planned" to pay for me to go to college, but dad used the money to buy an (admittedly nice) car instead. Then I got guilted into, "That money was for your father to go back to school." Tried to work my way through on my own in the late 90's. Didn't work. I need more breathing time than that schedule allowed. I can't go to school full-time and work full-time both.

 

Of course when I came out, I got straight-up disowned so I guess it doesn't matter. When news manages to filter through to me through friends, it's never good. Bio-mom is still a hateful person. Bio-dad is still absent. I'm trying to build a relationship there because he insists he's accepting, but he's either lying to me or too afraid of his wife.

 

So yeah, on the privilege... Never really felt it. Probably some things were easier, but I'm an only child and I got replaced as the favorite pretty quick when my aunts and uncles had kids. I just didn't fit. I don't really blame anybody for that. I just didn't have the language to speak up and nobody was really interested in hearing it anyway. So lots of emotional abuse which turned into a lifelong struggle with depression and anxiety. You know, the usual for us older girls.

 

I feel more privilege now than I did while pretending to be a guy. I see and experience the problems women have in the workforce, but they're just a thing to struggle against. It's easier for me to fight that than it is to fight myself. I'm used to festering baboon anuses trying to impose their nonsense on me. As a woman it's just one more stupid thing to deal with at work.

 

I should also probably mention that it's only since coming out that I've been able to make some actual strides towards self-improvement. It doesn't seem like such an impossible chore anymore. Take THAT depression!

 

Hugs!

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Good morning, all.

 

Today the coffee was espresso with a lot of foam (my favorite) delivered to me in bed by my husband. Last night he couldn't sleep because he was feeling stressed and and scared about a work situation. We talked about fear. He was vulnerable with me. Then, he told me: I think sometimes when I'm feeling angry about something I take it out on you. He said he'd be more aware of that because he just wants to love me and take care of me. I'd spent so much of our relationship blaming myself for any problems we had. Since coming out to him, I'm also realizing that his anger is his problem essentially, and that I'm not to blame. I was amazed at his acknowledgment of this too. It takes a lot of self-reflection and courage.

 

@Willow @Mmindy @Bri2020 my baby brother lives an hour from Frederick. I love to go there and walk around when I visit him. It's lovely there. 

 

@Mmindy I just wanted to acknowledge you shared a lil while back that you donated a kidney to your friend. That's awesome; you are an amazing friend. One of my dear friends is also a live kidney donor. She is phenomenally generous and selfless in all ways. Now, I'm honored to know two such heros. 

 

@Willow @Jackie C. I'm Gen X, but also in the legacy of profoundly dysfunctional family club, so I feel you and feel for you. MUCH LOVE and MUCH PRIDE on surviving and thriving to the extent you do. 

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P.S. @Heather Nicole that's great news about your wife. Whether or not the bad mood is over, the fact that she recognized it and apologized is positive progress. ❤️

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Hi again, Gen X, millennials.  I’m an early Baby Boomer, 1948.  My father was born in 1893 and my grandfather in the 1860s. I only knew one grandparent.  So, a lot of my father’s ideas of differences between boys and girls stems from his childhood.

 

It would be nice to meet for coffee somewhere but i for one have promised to help my daughter with projects while mooching so my dance card is all filled up. For you Gen Xers and Millennials, that really was a thing long before your time.  But so was Radio and Black and White.  I was about 9 when the first color TVs were developed. We had three channels not hundreds to pick from.  LOL

 

Willow

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3 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

One of my dear friends is also a live kidney donor. She is phenomenally generous and selfless in all ways. Now, I'm honored to know two such heros. 

Thank You,

 

 I truly think that anyone who found themselves in our situation who do the same thing. My friend has always been closer to me than my family, so it was no big deal for me. If I had a third kidney I would donate it to a total stranger. 
 

#DonateLife 

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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8 hours ago, RhondaS said:

Wife finally went and talked to a therapist on Friday...Saturday I got a hug and was told "Sorry I've been in a bad mood...for a year".

That is amazing progress, I hope it continues for you.

HUGS

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4 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

So yeah, on the privilege... Never really felt it.

It's really not just "male" privilege - it's more "cis-het white Protestant male" privilege, like if you're missing any one of the components, you don't really qualify for the full benefits package.  I never really felt the male privilege thing either, but I never really identified with being male.  Men always seemed overly competitive and violent to me, and the expression of that seemed rooted in (or ssatisfied by) sports, which I just never got into.  Men I met would be completely confused that there were NO sports I found appealing.  They were also confused by my utter lack of interest in automobiles.  It amazed me how many men had nothing to talk about once those two topics were off the table...

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2 hours ago, MetaLicious said:

Men always seemed overly competitive and violent to me, and the expression of that seemed rooted in (or ssatisfied by) sports, which I just never got into.  Men I met would be completely confused that there were NO sports I found appealing.  They were also confused by my utter lack of interest in automobiles.  It amazed me how many men had nothing to talk about once those two topics were off the table..

I was the one who walked away when guys started talking sports or cars. Don’t get me wrong, I like working on cars but could care less if it’s Mercedes or a Honda. 

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I knew both of my grandparents on both sides. On my mom's  I was the only grandson. So I got all the attention from my grandfather. He was the smartest man I ever knew.  On dad's side I can't remember doing much with my grandfather. My father was as old school as you could get. Male privilege in spades. 

 

Yet, even with my sister being in trouble alot. She was given  everything. Where I  had to earn everything.  Me and my sister never really had much of a relationship.  We hardly talk even to this day. 

 

Well got some news today  my e level is only 17. So my GzyN is upping my estrodol. 

 

Hugs, Kymmie 

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2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I knew both of my grandparents on both sides

I knew both my grandmothers.   But my mother's father died when she was around 6 months old.   My fathers father died when I was 2or 3 - I don't really remember him.  I do have some of his tools and stuff though.

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6 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Well got some news today  my e level is only 17. So my GzyN is upping my estrodol. 

It took a year and 4 adjustments to get my levels into what my Endo calls the therapeutic range.

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